“Your Majesty is most kind to concern himself with my health, but I assure you it’s not necessary. I am of a hardy nature and any afflictions that ail me are only temporary.”
“We are most pleased to hear it. Fortuitous news, indeed.” The king put a companionable arm around Robert’s shoulders. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about a commission. You mentioned your interest before. We are growing concerned with these blasted Dutch incursions on our trade routes. Your experience and skills could be most helpful, and present you with some very lucrative opportunities abroad.”
At least it’s not drilling soldiers in Tangier. “Again, I must thank you for your thoughtfulness, Majesty. You do me great honor, but surely that is a job best suited to a seaman and I regret to say I’ve no skill as a mariner, sire. I am content to have served England as a soldier, but now that I am married I look forward to the life of a quiet country gentleman. Besides, surely a man’s place is by his wife’s side, particularly when she’s as trusting and enticing as mine.”
“You are growing impertinent, sir. I dare say it is not me you have served but yourself. And at my table,” the king snapped.
“With all due respect, Your Majesty, my wife is not your dinner.” The challenge echoed through the room.
“No, I am not!” Hope was sick of it. “And I am not yours, either, Captain Nichols. I am tired of others deciding my life for me. Dismissing my concerns. Discussing me as if I were not there. Assuming their wishes must be my own without even bothering to ask. I am quite capable of managing my own life. I am no man’s slave. I am a free English woman trapped in a bargain both of you have made. Well, gentlemen, here is some news. The only agreement I will honor is one agreed to by me and to the devil with you both!”
She stormed from the room leaving both men openmouthed with surprise behind her.
“Hope! Wait. We need to talk.” She flipped an angry hand in her husband’s direction and kept on walking.
“We are not done here, Lady Newport! Return at once. I have not given you permission…” Charles voice trailed off as she rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.
“Well?” The king gave Robert a sharp poke. “You crow that she is yours. Find her, Captain. And don’t think of leaving London without bringing her back.
But quick as that she had disappeared, and he had no idea where to look.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Hope walked down the street, heading toward the theater district, uncertain of everything except that she was truly done with Charles. She’d said the words to his face. Beyond wariness and mild resentment, the sight of him had stirred no feelings. He was her king. That was all. Robert was different. The sight of him brought every nerve in her body pulsing to life. When he’d strode into the king’s chamber five days ago like some conqueror of old coming to claim what was his, her heart had skipped several beats and she’d had to remind herself to breathe. He had kept his promise after all.
But what she’d said to both of them was true. All her life other people had tried to manage her, direct her, mold her to their own purpose. She had been claimed and owned, bought and sold, and though her heart and spirit had remained free, it was the decisions of others that had mapped the major turnings of her life. This time she was not going to be pushed. What she wanted, what she dreamed of, was too important. It had to be her decision. There was so much more to Robert than she’d ever imagined. Layer upon layer of dark and light. He’d opened a door and she’d entered, not knowing she stepped into a whirlwind. She needed time to absorb it. She needed time to think.
Unfortunately, deep thinking and paying attention to where she was going had never been her strong suit and as she rounded the corner she quite literally bumped in to an old friend, the red-headed gap-toothed actress Peg Hughes.
“Watch the bloody hell where you’re going with that aristocratic arse! You’re as blind as my granny and smell like… Od’s fish! Hope? Hope Mathews, is that you?” Peg gave her a hug that almost crushed her ribs, and then hauled her into the closest Tavern for beef pies and beer.
“Well, ain’t you looking the fine lady now!” she said, once they were seated. We all wondered where you disappeared.”
“I got married, Peg. And went to live in the country.”
“Lost the king but gained a husband, did you? Now that’s a very nice play, indeed. Keep you secure in your old age, that will. Is he poor but young and handsome or a rich old toad?”
“He is rich enough and devilish handsome, Peg. Taller than the king. As tall as Prince Rupert. The kind who makes women swoon.”
“Pah!” Peg spit on the floor. “What’s got into your head? You never marry one like that. Soon as they’ve gambled away all your money they’re out running after whores.”
“Not my husband. The only whore he wants is me. He leaves the rest alone.” They both broke into laughter and Peg reached over to pinch her cheek. “Yep. You’re real. And still making up fairy tales. I swear you left the stage too soon. There’s two companies of royal players now. The king’s and the duke’s. They’d be glad to have you back. People will always come to see one of Charlie’s girls.”
“I’m done with him, Peg.”
“But if he sent you away and now he’s brought you back it seems he’s not done with you.”
They chatted and drank Rhenish for the rest of the afternoon. Hope hadn’t realized how lonely she was until she’d run in to Peg. She missed Rose and Daisy, even Mrs. Overton. But most of all she missed the man whose touch sent shivers through her body. Who told her stories when she was hurting and taught her how to use a sword. Their last night together, before he’d left for Yorkshire, had introduced her to pleasures her body still ached for and—
“Hope?” Peg banged the table with her mug until she was sure she had her attention. “There you are, back again. You certainly can’t hold your liquor like your mum.” Peg filled her in on all the London gossip. Most of it centered on the usual protagonists—the king, his friends and now his little queen.
Bored, Hope’s thoughts drifted back to Robert. Did you leave a man like that, knowing that you loved him? Did you stay, knowing the dark thing that claimed him? Knowing it might always mean more to him than you? And how can you return when he told you to go?
“Now the talk from everyone is that she’s barren,” Peg continued with breathless excitement.
“But she’s only been married five months!” Hope protested.
They talked a while longer and Peg invited her to come to the Duke’s Theater, where she was performing that night. It would be a chance to make connections and renew old acquaintances, but she was lonely for something else this night. She gave her a hug and promised to visit soon, and then took the boat that traveled along the river to the new spring gardens in Vauxhall. It would be closed for the season by the end of the week, and she needed to feel as though she were back in the country this night.
Venus rose above her and muddy water churned beneath as the skies slowly darkened overhead. She was the goddess to whom lovers made their wishes, and Hope’s heart whispered, I want Robert. The dark and the light. I want him to love me. I want to go home.
The boat bumped gently to a halt by the river gate. There was a gentle swell of music and the sounds of laughter and gaiety coming from beyond the stairs. She entered into an enchanted world filled with shopkeepers, courtiers and families with their children. They jostled in an excited mix, dancing and flirting, listening to harpists and fiddlers, enjoying cakes and powdered beef, or dining on white-draped tables. She smiled as she moved among them, determined to put her worries behind her and let this beautifully crafted fantasy soften her night.
She wandered fairy lit avenues and gravel paths lined with trees burnished gold by the lanterns swaying from their branches. Here was a quiet alcove next to a burbling fountain, and there a glade filled with dancing and light. Magicians and jugglers entertained, thrushes sang from the bushes and and the sky overhead was a starry dome. It was be
autiful...magical...yet she had no one to share it and it and though surrounded by people she felt very much alone.
As she passed a darkened grotto well hidden by the trees a strong arm suddenly encircled her waist and a rough hand covered her mouth, cutting off her scream. She bit it, drawing blood as her cursing captor dragged her kicking and clawing into the bushes.
“God’s blood, Hope! Sheath your claws and loosen your fangs. You’re worse than your bloodthirsty kitten. Where in hell have you been? I’ve been searching for you for four bloody days! I’d begun to think some harm had befallen you.”
“Robert?” She looked up at him, stunned. It was as if her thoughts had conjured him from the air.
He growled in response, examining his injuries as best he could in the moonlight. “You’ve left me with more scars in this one night than in all my years of fighting. It stings like the very devil.” He held his hand out to show her the wound.
“Well, you shouldn’t have snuck up and grabbed me like that!” Her body shook with shock and fear but also excitement and she didn’t forget to send a silent thank-you to whomever had answered her prayer.
They stood, awkward and uncertain, just inches apart.
“You shouldn’t have been standing on a darkened path at nighttime. It’s dangerous. Any fool walking by might mistake you for a common strumpet.”
“Perhaps that’s why I’m here.”
His lips twisted with annoyance. “I understand I’ve made you angry. I know I’ve disappointed you. But we’re both well past pretending to be something we’re not.”
“You mean brave when I’m frightened? Cold when my heart is breaking? What choice do I have? It’s my only armor. What did you pretend?”
“I pretend…I pretended...the very same.”
“I saw you, Robert. I saw what you can do. What could possibly frighten you?”
“You do. I’ve been frightened from the moment I told Charles that I would marry you. I was watching you from the trees as you danced. I was so entranced I didn’t hear his approach. As soon as I said yes I knew that I would love you, and I feared what might happen if you knew about me. I never wanted you to know that part of my life but you kept insisting. I never wanted you to see me like that....”
“But you came.”
“I told you I would.” He reached out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear and she was in his arms. He hugged her tight against his length and threaded his fingers through her hair, drawing her into a gentle kiss.
“I want you to love me, Robert,” she breathed against his lips.
He gave her a crooked smile. “Every time I see you my heart skips a beat. Every time I kiss you it thrills me like the first time and moves me like it was the last. I do love you, Hope. I’ve been cold and alone so long it had become a habit. You came into my life and warmed me like the sun. I think I had almost forgotten how to feel. You mean everything. I’m sorry if I haven’t let you know it. I think I’m so unused to it I don’t know how. Oakes say’s I’m not very good with people and—”
“Hush.” Hope gripped him by his coat just below the collar and raised on her toes to kiss him back.
He tightened his embrace and lifted her off her feet, walking backwards, deep into a secluded green-space protected by a dense wall of bushes and trees. He sank to his knees, pulling her down with him, kissing her face, her lips, her throat. They fumbled at their clothing, tugging and pulling, hungry and impatient as he pressed her to the ground.
“Good Christ,” he murmured, raising on his elbows. “I’ve missed you that much, elf. If we don’t stop soon I’ll take you here and now.”
Her eyes were alight with joy and mischief. “Don’t stop, Robert. I swear there’s magic afoot. I wished for you tonight and now here you are.”
He needed no further encouragement. His hands roamed her surface, rough and demanding, tugging at her skirts, bunching the material and rasping it across her belly.
Pressing her everywhere with hot sweet kisses he traveled slowly up her body to claim her burning lips. Her lips parted with a sigh and he stroked and tasted, his kiss an act of possession and wild caress.
Moaning and tangled they rolled in the grass until he straddled her. Her eyes were luminous like the sky above them, seeming to mirror all the mystery and magic of wild glades and soft nights. She reached out a hand and laid it flat on his chest, feeling the steady pulse of life beneath. “You are no dream,” she whispered. “But you bring my dreams to life.”
He gathered her warmth beneath him, his rampant arousal straining hard against the juncture of her thighs. And then he entered her, slow and deliberate, savoring the moment, not as conqueror or supplicant, rescuer or rescued, but as someone who, after years in the wilderness, had found his way home. She bucked against him, urging him deeper, each movement pulling him further into a soul-searing embrace. Never had the sky blazed with such majesty. No bed had been softer than the grass beneath her. No birdsong had ever sounded as sweet. She held power and life and love in her arms and the world throbbed with color and everything pulsed with life. Robert thrust inside her with the same urgent rhythm and she squeezed him tight as her spasms of pleasure melded with his in a blissful ancient bond. With a final sigh they fell back together in a tangled sated heap.
“Well!” he said when he’d caught his breath, “We ought to do that every night I think, don’t you?” His voice was hopeful.
Cuddled in his arms, she gave his ear a playful nip. “Every time is new with you. I feel things I’d never imagined before. You take me places, Robert that…I’ve no words to describe it.”
“Have I redeemed myself, then?” he asked as he combed his fingers through her hair.
“I haven’t decided yet. You gave me such a scare. Do you think anyone heard us?” She sounded curious rather than worried and he chuckled and ruffled her hair.
“They might have heard my howl of pain.” He held out his mangled hand for her inspection. “Look at how it’s swollen. I expect it’s all infected now. I pray I don’t lose my sword hand.”
She gasped in horror, taking it gently, and gave it several little kisses. “We’ll see a surgeon straight away. I’m sorry, Robert! I had no idea it was you.”
He reached for his discarded coat and tucked it around her like a blanket. “I’m teasing you. I’ve survived many an injury far worse than this. With the proper wifely care and attention I’m sure that I’ll be fine.”
“How on earth did you find me?”
“It wasn’t easy, and there might have been some magic involved. I remembered your fascination with gardens and flowers. I have been to Hyde Park, Saint James Park, the gardens at Whitehall, to every damned garden I could find asking strangers if they’d seen an elfin beauty with midnight hair and violet eyes. Did you know there are two gardens here? An old one and a new one, though this is deemed the better. I was offered blondes, brunettes, and redheads—of every talent and description, but no one had seen you. It’s sheer luck I found you tonight. Were you hiding?”
“No. Yes. I needed time to think.”
“It’s over. With Harris.”
“You killed him?”
“No. I couldn’t do it without harming the boy. I couldn’t after seeing you. I hated that you saw me that way and suddenly it all seemed so senseless and stupid. It wasn’t going to bring Caroline back but it might have cost me you. I don’t want to live in the past, Hope. I want to have a life and future with you. My life had little meaning until you came along and I knew if I lost you it never would again.”
He took her hand and kissed her fingers, then held up a tiny band of woven grass. “Hope Mathews, I’ve never been in love before. I’m likely to make lots of mistakes. I expect if you agree to stay with me you’ll have to be quite patient. But I do try and listen and I want to learn. So if you cannot feel free or happy with me, then I will do my best to help you to wherever you wish to be. But I know you now, and you know me, and I would ask you, given free heart and free will…would you
marry me?”
Laughing through her tears she shoved him over onto his back and held out her hand. “I am exactly where I wish to be, foolish man. I want to see my ring.”
He slipped it on her finger and pulled her in to a tender kiss. Sometime later Hope nuzzled the sensitive spot behind his ear. “What does Oakes know? A good deal less than you I expect. He has eyes for Mrs. Overton and doesn’t even know it. Trust me, Robert.” She folded her arms on his chest and rested her chin on her hands. “You are very, very, very good with women.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Lord and Lady Nichols wandered through a stately bedchamber crowded with books and paper, curiosities and ticking clocks.
“So this is his room?”
“Yes.” Hope blushed furiously but she needn’t have worried. Robert never felt intimidated or doubted his prowess in any arena when it came to other men.
She watched as he fiddled with a telescope. His fascination with it made her smile. Perhaps she would present him with one at New Year’s. She could picture him using it on dark summer nights on the terrace. It struck her that she didn’t even know when his birthday was. There was so much about him to learn. She knew what was important, though, and that was that she loved him.
“Look you here, Hope!” He was standing over a mechanical automaton of otters catching fish.
She came over and leaned against his shoulder, nodding her head, trying to look suitably impressed while wondering why such silly toys made grown men act like boys. “Does it ever seem strange to you how we were brought together?”
“You mean the parade?”
“That and other things.”
“Well, the whole night at Pall Mall seemed strange to me, starting with your hall of mirrors.”
“But think of it, Robert. I was hardly likely to ever go to Nottingham, or you to come backstage at the theatre.”
“Ah! I see what you say. You wonder how fate conspired to join us a second time.”
Soldier of Fortune: The King's Courtesan (Rakes and Rogues of the Retoration Book 2) Page 27