by Julia Wolf
“Took care of you?”
“He took care of me.” I chewed the corner of my lip. “We’ve never really talked about me having a boy over if you’re not here…”
“I guess we’ve never had the chance to have those kinds of normal conflicts.” She smoothed a hand over her hair. “Well, you’re eighteen. I trust you. I don’t mind you having Sebastian over, though I’d rather not walk in on you having sex. So, if that happens, first, make sure you’re being safe, and second, keep track of the time so we don’t have any awkward situations. Okay?”
My face felt like it had caught fire. My mom and I were close, and she’d always been extremely frank, but not like this. Never like this.
“Okay. Well…I’m just going to go lock myself in my room and never come out again.”
She snorted. “You do that. But take your backpack with you when you go.”
I started to walk away, then turned back. “Have I told you lately that I love you a lot-lot?”
She winked. “No, but have I told you I love you a lot-lot-lot? Like, to the moon and everything?”
I waved her off, grinning. With my backpack on my arm, I returned to my bedroom. Sebastian was there, sitting up on the edge of my bed. He held a hand out to me, and I went willingly, dropping my bag on the ground on my way.
He pulled me down onto his lap so I straddled his legs. “I’m gonna go, but only if you’re good.”
“My mom’s here now. If I’m not good, she’ll take care of me.”
He rested his hands on either side of my neck, rubbing my throat with his thumbs. “I heard your talk. Is that what it’s like to have a functional parent?”
“I guess so. She’s probably at a higher level than most.”
His lips curved. “I like that she wants to slap the shit out of Elena.”
“That was my mom’s husband, Bash. The love of her goddamn life, and that little bitch said he couldn’t hack it.” I shuddered with revulsion. I couldn’t believe I’d ever been friends with her. That tore me up more than anything.
“I get that, baby. I get it.” His lips touched my chin, the corner of my mouth, then finally landed on mine for a long, hard kiss. Then he gave my ass a slap. “Hop up. I gotta head out.”
I climbed off him, wrapping my arms around my middle. “You always have to be somewhere.”
He arched an eyebrow, shooting me a smirk while he stuffed his feet back into his shoes. “I do. But if you need me, I’ll be here.” He came over to me and gripped my chin. “Remember that.”
I nodded, and he kissed me once more. I walked him to the door, earning me another kiss and a promise to call me tomorrow.
Later, tossing and turning in my bed with too many thoughts racing in my head to settle, something occurred to me that I needed to ask Sebastian. It was too late to text, but I did it anyway.
Me: Sebastian.
Me: Bash.
Me: Wake up.
Me: If you’re sleeping, open your eyes right this instant.
Me: BASH$#@!
Bash: Hey
Me: Did I wake you?
Bash: Almost. Notice I’m not giving you a hard time about it. Why are you awake?
Me: Thinking. I might’ve slept too long this afternoon. I have a question.
Bash: Hit me with it.
Me: Did you ask Hells to drive me to the park today?
Bash: Yeah. I left school early. I had something to show you, but it’s cool.
Me: What? Tell me.
Bash: I’d rather show you. Tomorrow, after work?
Me: Now I’ll never be able to sleep. Were you going to show me where you bury the bodies?
Bash: Your accusations wound me.
Me: Somehow, I doubt that.
Bash: I care what you think of me, Grace. I’m not a monster, even though I can be monstrous.
Me: I know that.
Bash: Good. Remember it. I’ll pick you up after work tomorrow. Sleep well.
Me: Good night. xoxo
Bash: Hugs and kisses? Damn, you’re so into me.
Me: No, those were dead eyes and gaping mouths. Turn your head sideways, you’ll see it.
Bash: Mmmhmmm. Enjoy your dreams of me.
Me: Good night!!!!!
Bash: xoxo
Chapter Twenty-two
“What’s up, Swiss Miss?” Preston beamed at me as he unlocked the door to Savage Wheelz. In the short time I’d been working here, it was rare to see him without a smile. So, despite the fact that I’d barely gotten any sleep last night and felt like death warmed over, I smiled back.
I held up the coffee I’d picked up at the cafe next door. “I’m hoping this kicks in soon so I can be as chipper as you.”
He chuckled. “Late night?”
“Something like that.”
I’d tossed and turned for another couple hours after my text conversation with Bash. It had taken me a while to shake off the blanket of melancholy I’d been left with after everything that went down.
We were pretty slammed in the shop from the second the doors opened, so I didn’t have time to dwell or get caught up in my feelings. Preston handled most of the customers on the floor while I handled the register. I was learning about skateboards on the fly, but I was by no means an expert. Not like Preston. So when a boy who looked about my age leaned his elbows on the counter and asked my opinion on a deck he was thinking about buying, I stumbled over my answer.
“Have you bought that brand before?” I asked.
He cocked a grin at me. With shaggy brown hair and sky-blue eyes, he was cute in an unthreatening way. “Of course. I’m just wondering if you think it’s the best.” He glanced down at my chest, then shot his eyes to mine when he didn’t see a nametag. “What’s your name? I usually see Hells when I come here.”
“I’m Grace. I’ve only been working here a couple weeks.”
“Grace? No crazy nickname?”
“How do you know Grace isn’t my nickname? Maybe it’s ironic since I stumble all over the place.”
He laughed, showing off gleaming white teeth and a set of dimples that would have stirred up butterflies in my stomach a couple years ago.
“Well, is it?” he finally asked.
“No.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Grace is the name on my birth certificate.”
He stuck his hand out. “I’m Liam.”
I went to slide my hand in his, but before we connected, iron bars banded around my middle from behind and hot lips touched the curve of my neck.
Liam’s pretty blue eyes rounded, and his hand fell in a heavy fist on the counter. “Hey. Bash. S’up?”
Sebastian’s chest rumbled against my back. “Just checking in on my girl. We had a late night, so I was thinking she might be tired.” He rubbed his nose along my cheek. “How’re you doing, baby?”
I smiled wide and probably manic at Liam. “I’m sorry I can’t answer your questions about the deck. When Preston has a minute, I’m sure he can help you.”
Sebastian moved beside me, keeping his hand firmly on my hip. “You don’t need to wait for Preston. I can answer any questions you’ve got.”
Liam shook his head, backing up a step. “I’m good, actually. I’ll see you around, Bash.” He nodded in my direction, but didn’t meet my eyes. “Grace.”
In my head, I whirled around and punched Sebastian right in the nose. In reality, I took a deep breath and calmly faced the wildly inappropriate boy who hated boundaries more than I hated him.
“Where did you come from?” I asked.
He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Me and a couple guys are out back skating. Preston lets me hang out here whenever. I knew you were working, so I came in to say hello.”
“And piss all over me in front of a customer?”
He chuckled and gave me a look that said aren’t you fucking adorable. “Grace, that kid was hitting on you.”
“So? In normal circumstances, a guy shoots his shot, and a girl gets to decide if she likes him or not. I
know you don’t work that way, but that’s how most people do. Just because Liam hits on me doesn’t mean I’m going to reciprocate.” I tapped my forehead. “I do have a brain in here.”
He shrugged, unbothered. “I’m not going to apologize for not appreciating that little bitch getting overly friendly with you. That’s never going to happen.”
I huffed. “Fine. Don’t. But this is my job, and you’re currently making me look awful.”
He tugged on the hem of my cropped T-shirt. “You couldn’t look awful if you tried.”
I knocked his hand away. “Please. I’m asking you to stop right now. I need this job and it’s important to me Preston knows I take it seriously. Having my boyf—” I stopped myself before I said the word I’d very much regret. “Having a boy behind the counter with me while I’m supposed to be working isn’t professional. Much less a boy kissing and grabbing me.”
Bash held his hands up. “I got the message. No touching during work hours. I think I can abide by that.”
My brow arched. “You think?”
He shot me such a devious smirk, I felt it all the way to my center. “I’m getting good at holding myself back with you. So, yeah, I think I can handle it. The second you walk out that door, though, your ass is mine.”
My arms folded across my chest. “I would expect no less.”
“Good.” He fingered a lock of my hair for just a moment, then backed away entirely. “I’ll be out back for a while. If you get a break, come out.”
Preston approached the counter, carrying an armload of skate clothes, followed by a preteen girl and a woman who had to be her mom. He shot Bash a smile, then another at me. He didn’t seem at all fazed to see Sebastian behind the counter with me, which helped me not freak out.
Sebastian squeezed my shoulder. “See you later, Grace.” Then he left through the back like he was never there.
I got to work ringing up the customer, who was practically vibrating with excitement over buying her first skateboard. What I didn’t do was obsess over almost calling Sebastian my boyfriend. Nope. I wouldn’t be thinking about that.
* * *
Later, when the shop had a lull in customers, Preston and I were refolding a box of T-shirts to put out on the shelves.
“You and Vegas a thing, Swiss Miss?” he asked.
A wave of guilt hit me immediately. “I’m sorry he stopped by while I was working. I told him not to do—”
“Hey.” He laid his hand on the shirt I’d just folded. “You’re not in trouble. Vegas comes by here all the time when Hells is working. Even before that, actually. That’s how he earned his own nickname. The way he looked at you got me curious, that’s all. If Carly was here, she’d whack me on the head for being nosy.”
I had to laugh at that. “Since my business was on display right in front of you, I don’t think you’re being nosy. But I don’t really have an answer for you right now. We’re in the talking phase...I think. I don’t know. He’s a hard guy to know.”
Preston nodded, his locs slipping forward over his shoulders. “I feel that. Vegas is a good kid, but he’s intense as hell. You know how I first met him?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He unpacked a T-shirt, grinning. “Caught the little shit tagging my shop. I was all ready to call the cops when I saw him out there with his cans, but goddamn, the shit he sprayed on my walls was art. I couldn’t even be mad.” He chuckled, adding the folded shirt to his pile. “Okay, that’s not true. He painted a naked chick on a skateboard, so I was kinda pissed because I was pretty sure the town would kick my raggedy ass right off Main Street, but he agreed to cover it up with something else for free. That’s how I got my wave out there.”
“He’s an incredible artist.”
“No doubt.” His face grew serious. “Like I said, he’s a good kid, but he’s got troubles. From what I’ve picked up, his home life is pretty shitty. Just be careful, okay?”
Too late for that.
“Thanks, Preston. I’m trying to keep my head.”
He grinned again. “You know I lost my head over Carly when I was even younger than you. Never found it again. I can’t really rag on young love. Sometimes that shit works out.”
Carly came to relieve me a few minutes later. Done for the day, I clocked out, grabbed my stuff from the break room, and pushed out the back door. Sebastian was there, propped on his bike, locking on me the second I stepped outside, like he knew exactly when I’d appear.
He didn’t wait for me to come to him. Closing the space between us, his hands cupped my cheeks and his mouth covered mine in a long, slow kiss. It wasn’t anything like the ones we’d shared before. I would have even called it sweet if it had come from anyone but him.
When he pulled back, I leaned into him. “I’m still pissed at you for your King Kong behavior.”
He dipped his head again and ran the tip of his tongue along the edge of my bottom lip. “Can’t deny my nature. I’m a beast when it comes to you.”
“I’m well aware.” I pressed my hands to his chest. “Are you going to show me the thing? At the park?”
“Do you want me to?” He pushed my hair behind my shoulders and kissed a line up my neck. “Or are you too pissed at me? Maybe I should just take you home…”
“Okay.” I broke free from him, taking a couple steps away. “I can just walk. See ya at school.”
He grabbed me as soon as the words were out of my mouth and carried me to his bike, and I got on willingly, my curiosity overriding any lingering annoyance I had for his earlier caveman behavior.
He drove us to the park Helen had brought me to yesterday. I’d been so out of it, I’d barely noticed where I was then. With fresh eyes, I took in the baseball fields on one side and the skatepark on the other. Bash didn’t have his skateboard on him, so I had to wonder why we were here. He obviously wasn’t planning on showing me a sick new trick he’d mastered.
My stomach knotted with both trepidation and excitement for the big reveal.
He wove our fingers together, leading me toward the concrete ramps and bowls where there were a few skaters doing their thing. As we got closer, my heart lurched in my chest. Not from fear, but excitement. The skatepark was mostly gray concrete, but the tallest ramp had a burst of color painted along its side.
We stopped in front of it, and I had to hold in my gasp. A peacock with a mandala on his middle tail feather stared back, vivid and proud. I knew without asking this was Sebastian’s work. I recognized his style, and it made me weak in the knees. He told a story with his cans of paint and a few brushes, and that story was different from the one he broadcasted to the world. Sebastian was tough and unyielding, sometimes dark, and yes, scary, but he was more than that too, and I was only beginning to see that.
“You did this.” I turned to him, my mouth parted in awe.
He nodded, confirming. “I finished yesterday. Wanted you to see it fresh. This is the first time I’ve been commissioned for a piece.”
My hand flexed in his. “You got permission to do this?”
He huffed a laugh. “I did. More than that, I was paid to do it.”
“It’s gorgeous.” I moved closer, but he kept his hold on my hand, stretching my arm behind me as he stayed planted. “You’re objectively a very talented artist, Sebastian.” I had to throw his words back at him. “You know that, right?”
He tugged me against him, my back to his chest, and wrapped his arms around my middle. “I don’t care what other people think.”
“You care what I think, though?”
“Mmmhmmm.” He nuzzled his face against my neck, releasing a quiet sound of pleasure that struck me straight in the solar plexus. “I painted this with you on my mind.”
“You did?”
“I saw mandalas in your sketchbook. I liked the look of them, so I added them to the peacock.”
Another hit, this time, square in my heart. Sebastian had found my soft spot and kept pressing on it with expert precision.
/> “My dad taught me about them. In Hinduism, they represent aspects of the universe.”
His lips touched the corner of my jaw. “I know, Grace. I Googled.”
“You could have asked me, you know.”
“I could have.” He lifted his face from my hair with seeming reluctance. “But then you’d ask why, and I’d have to keep those beautiful lips busy with something other than questions so you didn’t ruin the surprise.”
“And then I’d hate you.”
“That implies you don’t hate me now.”
“My feelings for you are evolving.”
My eyes met his. His gaze was steady and open, like he had nothing to hide. But that wasn’t true. Sebastian was a barely cracked book. Those few letters I could see enticed me to keep trying. My curiosity would probably get me killed, but I wasn’t worried about that for the time being.
He cupped my jaw, tipping my head back. “Want to tell me about those evolving feelings?”
I shook my head. “No. Show me more of this place.”
After a moment’s hesitation, he led me around, showing me a low wall spanning the backside of the park he’d been asked to paint. He hadn’t decided on exactly what he wanted to do yet, but he had ideas. Seeing Sebastian this way, excited about something other than me, made me ache. With desire, affection, and always trepidation. I didn’t quite trust him, I hadn’t fully forgiven him, but I liked him and wanted him to be mine. The mix of truths seemed impossible, but here I was, liking the boy who’d nearly ruined me.
Chapter Twenty-three
Bex came over on Sunday. It had taken me some time to work up the nerve to invite her to my shabby apartment, but once she arrived, she didn’t judge. She was curious, and I basically told her we were broke as a joke, which she took in stride.
We holed up in my room doing sociology homework together while my mom commandeered the living room to work on her own schoolwork.
“I need a break.” I stood up from my spot on the ground, stretching my arms over my head.
Bex tossed her pencil down, groaning. “Me too. I’ve been doing nonstop homework this weekend just so I can stay away from my parents.”