Grabbing my ponytail Keith pulled my mouth to his and gave me all of his tongue while unbuttoning my pants with his other hand. My body was his for the taking no matter how much my mind wasn’t.
“Are you still seeing Keisha?” I breathed as we lay naked next to one another in pools of our own juices and sweat.
“No.”
“Is that why you are here?”
“I missed you Asteria.”
“You really hurt me Keith; how could you do that to me and with that hood rat of all people.”
“What I did with Keisha had nothing to do with you, just as what I do with you has nothing to do with Pandia.”
“Keith do you even love me?” I asked through the lump in my throat.
“Why do you ask me shit like that?” He said rolling over to begin his usual ritual of leaving me after he satisfied himself.
“Because I don’t know how you feel about me; you know exactly how I feel about you. I gave you a son, yet you won’t even give me your heart!” I cried.
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to come over here. This type of shit is why I fuck with hood rats like Keisha, because they know where they stand with me and bitches like her know when to shut the fuck up!” “Look Asteria,” he said as he sat on my bed with his head in his hands, “I cannot do this any longer.”
“What do you mean?” I exclaimed jumping out of bed naked.
“I mean that if this is how it is going to be then I’m done with this whole thing. We shouldn’t have even started this shit in the first place!” Keith began putting on his clothes.
“Keith, but I love you is it wrong of me to want you to love me too? Is it wrong of me to want you to give me all of you just as I give you all of me?”
“I cannot give you all of me Asteria!” he yelled, “I am married to your twin sister! Why is that so hard for you to get through your head?”
“How hard was it for you to have walked away from this three years ago?” I yelled back with tears streaming down my face.
“I never meant for it to have happened, I never meant for us to have taken things this far.”
Grabbing him by his hands I pulled myself to Keith and kissed him on his thick lips, his soft cheeks and his warm forehead, “But we have lasted for a reason, we are meant to be together Keith. You said it yourself that you are not in love with my sister. You said that you would leave her and that we would finally be together as a family. You said those things to me. I believed you and I’ve waited for you.”
Looking at me in disbelief, “Asteria, that is your sister don’t you even care about what that would do to her? She is the only family that you have left!”
“Pandia has it all Keith, she always has. I don’t have shit, but I don’t care,” I cried, “All that I want is you.”
Pulling away from me Keith continued to get dressed, but I stopped him, pushing him onto the bed while I climbed on top of him.
“I want you to want me too.” I said as I kissed him passionately.
I knew that Keith didn’t love me and that he would never leave my sister, but at this point I was willing to get in where I fit in for my man even if that meant sharing him with every woman in St. Louis.
25
Jovanna
Justin spoon-fed me ice cream while we cuddled on the couch watching a scary movie. Chad called me several times during my shopping date with Santana and Asteria, but I hit ignore every time. Since I changed the number on our home phone we didn’t get any more late night calls. Chad was not playing he wanted his money and he didn’t care what he had to do to get it.
“Can you believe that in four months we will be Mr. and Mrs. Justin Thompson?” he smiled kissing me on the cheek.
“I can’t wait.”
“I am glad that you finally took some time off of work to relax and spend some time with me. I was starting to miss you Jo.”
Smiling I said, “I was missing you too Justin, I missed eating ice cream in the middle of winter with you.”
Justin put the bowl on the table and began tickling me, “I see that you have jokes!”
I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe as he tickled and kissed me all over my half naked body.
“I love you Jovanna.” He said kissing me passionately.
“I just wished that your family loved me too.” I sighed.
“You are not marrying them, you are marrying me.”
“I know, but I still would like to have a good relationship with them, but because I’m black they act like I’m no good.”
Justin sighed and sat back on the couch, “They are small minded people who are holding on old fashioned values that mean nothing in this day and age. There are plenty of interracial couples now days.”
“What if we have children, they won’t have grandparents on either side.”
“You are right, since your parents are dead and my parents are dumb.”
“That makes me kind of sad Justin.” I pouted. “Maybe we shouldn’t have kids.”
“You don’t get off that easily; I’m knocking you up as soon as I get that ring on your finger.” He smiled.
Leaning over I kissed my future husband until I heard a knock on the front door, instantly my heart sank.
“I’ll get it.” Justin got off of the couch and walked over to the door. Looking out of the window there was a mail truck parked in front of the house. “Hey it is a certified letter for you.” He said tossing me the manila envelope.
“I wonder who this is from.” I said as I looked for the return address.
“Open it and find out. I’m going to the bathroom.” He said as he made his way to the backroom.
My eyes widened as I thumbed through the photos in the envelope; in my hand I held two photos of a younger me dancing at the Honey Lounge. I remember who those pictures were taken as a promotional sign for the club. On the last photo there was a message written in thick black ink:
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, BUT THIS ONE IS WORTH TEN-THOUSAND. I WANT MY MONEY BY THE END OF THE WEEK OR SNOWFLAKE WILL FIND OUT WHO HE IS REALLY MARRYING.
Shaking, I tore the pictures up into pieces and threw them and the envelope in the fireplace then lit a fire. Just as the fire grew Justin walked out of the bathroom, “So what was in the envelope?”
“Just some promotional junk, I tossed it into the fire. I have no desire to see anything that has to do with work for a while.” I managed a smile.
“Are you alright honey? You look like you seen a ghost.”
“I’m fine Justin; let’s get finished with what we started.” I said as I walked seductively towards him.
“I think that it would be a better idea if we held off for the night, that ice cream did a number on my stomach.”
“Gross nasty butt!” I laughed smacking him on his ass.
As we settled back on the couch and began watching the movie my mind wandered back to when I was known as Marquita, and the day that changed my life forever.
August 1999
It had been almost one month since I told Tasha about the safe that was hidden in Chad’s bedroom closet, but I knew that she had not forgotten. She said that she wanted out just as bad as I did and we devised a plan to get the money from Chad without anyone else knowing.
It was almost nine o’clock in the morning when Tasha and I left our apartment, we told Sunny and Lacey that I was going to class and Tasha was going to do laundry. Since they stayed so high they didn’t question anything of us leaving. We were silent in our own thoughts as we walked to Chad’s house. I could sense regret in Tasha, but I was determined to go through with my plan even if it would cost me my life.
“What are you doing here?” Chad asked when he opened the door to me standing there. The plan was for Tasha to hide behind the bushes until I made it inside then I’d make sure the door remained unlocked so that she could enter.
“I just wanted to talk to you daddy.” I answered with a smile on my face.
“This early Marquit
a?” he asked looking around to make sure that I was alone.
When I entered his home I stepped out of my heels before walking on the plush, blue carpet. Chad was still in his night clothes as he walked towards his bedroom, I made sure to leave the door unlocked for Tasha to enter.
“What is going on this early in the morning that made you want to come and talk to me?” he asked as he lay down on the king-sized bed.
“I just missed you, I know that things have been kind of strange between the two of us lately and I wanted to just come and lay with you like I use to do.”
“Did you miss daddy?” he asked as he wrapped his big arms around my body when I laid next to him.
“Yes.” I answered, fighting the urge to vomit.
“Show daddy how much you missed him.” Chad said as he lay back on his back, pulling down the silk pajama pants exposing his small dick.
“Where are you Tasha?” I thought as I began to kiss and lick his foul-tasting member, “Please girl don’t make me have to do this by myself.”
Needless to say, Tasha never came.
When Chad finished he fell asleep and I laid there angry not only at Tasha, but also at myself for giving Chad another piece of me. I knew that if I didn’t take what was mine and leave right now, I never would. Getting up out of bed I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife hiding it behind my back. Chad was snoring when I got back into the room, I tip-toed to the large closet that was filled with expensive suits and shoes. My nerves made me want to heave all of what Chad made me swallow, but I held my own as my eyes darted frantically around the closet in search of the black safe.
There it was to my right, behind several shoe and hat boxes. My hands shook as I moved the boxes to the side and pulled on the handle to the safe hoping that it was unlocked, but it wasn’t. Looking at the electronic keypad I tried to think of number that Chad would have used to unlock the safe. First I tried his birthday 041071, but that didn’t work. Then I tried the digits of his pager number 559871 but again that didn’t work. Wiping the sweat that was pouring down my face, I thought of what his pin number would have been something that was important to Chad. Then I got an idea: 7467 or PIMP and it opened. However, just as I opened the safe I heard,
“What in the fuck are you doing?” Chad was standing behind me naked as the day that he was born; he grabbed me by my hair pulling me out of the closet. “You stupid bitch! You think that you can steal from me and get away with it!” I tried to get away from the grasp that he had on my hair, but he threw me into the dresser hitting my head.
Chad then grabbed me by my throat and began choking me as a clawed at his face. He only let me go when I put my fingers into his eyes and tried to scratch his eyeballs out, breaking off two of my nails in the process. Grabbing his eyes Chad backed off of me and rolled onto his side in pain.
“You better run bitch because if I catch you I’m going to bury you out back with my dead dog!” he yelled. Coughing and holding my throat I managed to stagger back to the closet towards the safe. I hurried as I could hear Chad coming towards me with the force of a linebacker he tackled me to the floor inside of the closet. I kicked my feet frantically, kicking him in the face a few times as he grabbed for me legs. Chad was stronger than he appeared, but I was not weak and I was not going to allow him to kill me without a fight.
He turned me over to my back, punching me across the face. I screamed as he pulled my hair and slammed my head into the softness of the carpet. I thought that I would lose consciousness, but the thick carpet acted as padding to the hard floor underneath.
“Say your prayers bitch!” he said as he began choking me again, I reached inside of the safe and grabbed the long knife landing it into Chad’s side. He called out in pain as his grip loosened around my neck and he fell to the floor.
Laughing at my trembling hands as I held onto the knife he said, “Bitch if you are tough enough to use it you’d better kill me because if I get up I’m coming for you.”
In the pit of my stomach I knew that Chad meant what he said as he lay on the floor holding his injured and bloodied side. I felt a sense of power as I stood over my adversary with the long blade in my hands.
“Who is the bitch now, bitch?” I spat blood from my mouth onto the carpet as he lay cowering on the floor with blood with a pool of blood underneath him. “You better kill me.” He whimpered.
“You’ve done nothing but take from me since the first day that I met you, but you no longer hold control over me. Today is a new day, today is the day that I make you my bitch and today is the day that I take back what is due to me!” I ran over to him and hit him over the head with the butt of the knife twice until he fell asleep on the carpet lying in a puddle of his own blood. As his body hit the floor I looked in the mirror at the crazed manic that stared back at me. I was covered in blood, but for once I was not terrified. I felt liberated.
Grabbing a plastic bag I went back to the safe making sure that I kept a close eye on Chad while he lay knocked out on the carpet. I filled the bag with stacks of our money, but I didn’t take it all, just what was due to me. I used one of his luxury suit jackets to wipe the blood from my face and arms, and then I tossed it to the floor next to him. Looking around his house which at one time meant so much to me, I thought that this would be the last time that I would ever see this place and Chad again.
Rushing back to the apartment, I noticed Tasha was sitting on her bed with tears streaming down her face. When she saw me and my battered face she embraced me tightly.
“I’m sorry girl, but I was scared.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I said as I took two stacks of cash out of the bag and put it in her hands, “Take this, but I have to go Tasha.”
“Where is Chad?”
I looked at her blankly, “He is still at home and I have to go.”
“Take me with you.” She pleaded.
“No, you have to go your own way.”
“Where are you going?” she asked as I grabbed a few pieces of clothing out of my closet and stuffed them into my book bag. My hands trembling from fear.
Tasha hugged me one last time, “Take care of yourself Marquita.” She whispered.
I rushed out of the house and ran to the bus stop with only what I could carry in the book bag on one arm. When I got on the bus, people looked at my bruise-covered face, shook their head then looked the other direction not waiting to get involved. I went to the Greyhound station and boarded the first bus to anywhere U.S.A. which took me to St. Louis, far away from Marquita, Chad, Tasha and my past.
26
Santana
I rolled my eyes as Mike’s sloppy tongue danced around my clit and he fumbled with my breast like a teenaged boy. He was not as skilled as Tabitha when it came to pleasing me; in the little time I’d been sleeping with her she knew my body far better than Mike whom I’d been sleeping with since high school.
“What is wrong Santana?” he asked as he made his way up my body and kissed me on my neck, “That use to drive you wild.”
“Nothing is wrong Mike.” I lied. “I guess that I’m just tired.”
“That is like the fifteenth time I’ve heard that excuse this week.”
“It is nice to know that you’ve been keeping track.” I huffed.
“I want to make love to you, is that alright?”
Mike’s dick could not do what Tabitha’s fingers could as he slid inside of me. He didn’t make me tremble, he didn’t make me sweat and as usual he didn’t make me come. As he made love to me I moaned with thoughts of Tabitha running through my mind. I yearned for the softness of her skin, the firmness of her breasts and the tender way in which she kissed and bit me. Mike was too busy getting his own satisfaction to even notice that I was not getting any. I didn’t care, I just want him to get finished so that I could get some sleep and wake up to see Tabitha at work in the morning.
Tabitha showed me how grateful she was for the money that I loaned her to pay her car note by cooking me dinner a
t her home then we had dessert in her bedroom. Covering me in chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce and whipped cream Tabitha took her time licking every morsel off of me while I squealed in delight with every stroke of her tongue. Tabitha and I had become so close while Mike and I drifted further apart.
I began to distance myself from the man that I married and the children that I gave birth to. Tabitha was my new family and her friends were my friends. I felt alive in ways that I had not felt in a very long time.
We tried to keep our distance at work, but it was very hard when every time Tabitha walked into my office I wanted to touch her in some way. I couldn’t help it I was captivated by her presence. However, I was still disturbed by the anonymous phone call that I received and the sound of resentment in the woman’s voice when she said to watch my bank account around Tabitha.
I asked Tabitha about the phone call as we lay in each other’s arms one Saturday afternoon when I lied and told Mike that I was out shopping and needed some alone time.
“Did she say her name?” Tabitha asked with concern.
Stroking the softness of her thigh as it rested upon my own leg, I answered, “No she just cautioned for me to watch my bank account.”
Sitting up she pulled the soft sheet around her bare breast, “She called you at work?”
“Yes, Tabitha is there something that I need to be worried about?”
Looking at me with panic in her eyes she said, “That was probably my ex-girlfriend Alexis.”
“Is she the one from your birthday party?”
She shook her head yes, “She was becoming very possessive and jealous so when I broke things off with her she got mad. She started calling all of my friends and telling them lies about me. She even called my previous employer and that is how I lost my job.”
I sat up wrapping my arms around her trembling body, “Would she try to harm you physically?”
“No, Alexis is all talk, but I’m so sick of her bothering me. Why won’t she just let me go?” She sobbed, “She has made my life a living hell.”
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