Skeletons

by McFadden, Shimeka

  “She is my co-worker and she is cool that’s all.” I tried to hide the truth, “She is young and impressionable so I’m trying to guide her.”

  “What do you really know about her though Santana?”

  Thinking about my friend’s question, I really didn’t know anything about her at all.

  “I’m not trying to be nosey, but I’m just concerned that since you have been hanging with Tabitha things between you and Mike have gone south. If I were you I’d leave the friendship with Tabitha alone and focus more on my marriage.”

  “How do you know that things between Mike and I haven’t already traveled there before Tabitha came into the picture? You really need to stop making half-witted assumptions about someone else’s business and focus on your own lonely life.” I shot clearly offended.

  Looking around for the waiter so that I could pay the bill and hightail it out of the restaurant I continued, “What do you know about relationships anyway Asteria, when for the past three years you have been dealing with a man who won’t even acknowledge you in public.”

  My friend’s skin turned red and I could see the fire building up inside of her, “How dare you come at me like that Santana! You think that you are high and mighty because you are married and I am not!”

  “No I find it rather strange that you have a baby by a man that we have never met before and that you have allowed yourself to be the bottom bitch for over three years yet you think that you can give me advice.” I slammed twenty-five dollars on the table, “How about this, when you stop being a sperm depository for someone else’s husband then you can offer me advise!”

  Tears welled up in my best friend’s eyes as she blinked fast trying to keep them from falling, but they made a fast trail down her soft cheeks. I was embarrassed by the scene that I’d just made and how I felt like a fool. Instead of apologizing to my friend I stood up and walked out of the restaurant as fast as my legs could carry me leaving Asteria sitting there with her mouth hanging open.

  The house was quiet when I got home from work; Mike and the kids were staying another night with his parents. I no longer cared about salvaging this relationship; I was tired of bending and flexing to meet the needs of other people while my own needs went unmet. After getting out of the shower, I lay across the sectional in the family room and swallowed one of the tiny pills that Tabitha gave me and closed my eyes trying to forget the life that I worked so hard to build, but worked even harder at tearing apart.

  33

  Asteria

  “Santana is lucky that she is my best friend or I would have mopped the floor with her ass!” I fumed as I paced the floor in my apartment that night. Pandia sat on the couch while our sons play together.

  “Calm down Asteria, she is just going through some things right now. Give her some space and time and she will apologize.” She assured me.

  “I don’t care what she is going through, that is no reason to treat me like shit!”

  Pandia didn’t like cursing around little Keith so she shot me a stern look, “Calm down, you are scaring the boys.”

  I plopped down on the couch next to my sister and laid my head on her shoulder.

  After a short silence she asked, “Have you ever noticed how much our son’s look like one another?” she said as she watched the boys closely. “See how little Keith has those deep set eyes and long eyelashes now look at Latif, he has the same. Also look at the shape of their nose, exactly the same.”

  “Well we are twins Pandia.” I managed through the knot in my throat.

  “But little Keith looks nothing like me, he looks exactly like his daddy.”

  “Girl please that boy is a spitting image of you and Keith. What are you trying to say that Latif is Keith’s son?” I laughed nervously; I was relieved when her cellphone rang.

  “It is Keith.” She rolled her eyes, “Hello?”

  I sat and listened while my sister talked on the phone to my ex-lover and her headache. Ordinarily I would have been mad, but today I didn’t care because the more time that I spent with Eric the less time I desired to spend with Keith.

  “Girl I have to go Keith is tripping again.” She began packing up their things.

  “He has some nerve as much as he stays out at night.” I said as I helped her.

  “He has some nerve after what happened with Keisha.”

  “Yeah, I’m still in shock over that.”

  “Of all people why did he choose that ghetto queen Asteria? Am I not good enough for him?”

  “It is not about you Pandia, it is about him. Keith is a selfish son-of-a-bitch who was more concerned about his dick than he is about his marriage. Don’t blame yourself for what he did wrong.”

  “I cook for him, I keep a clean house, and I get freaky in the bedroom…”

  “Whoa, wait a minute now, I love you girl but I don’t want to hear about your freaky side!” I joked tossing a teddy bear at her.

  Pandia laughed, “I’m serious though, what am I doing wrong?”

  The hurt in my sister’s eyes spoke volumes to me, while I regretted ever laying eyes on Keith I knew that there was no way I could let her know about us. “Again honey, it is not about you it is about him. He is selfish, you could be the perfect wife, flawless mother and the impeccable lover but it will never be enough for someone who is as egotistical as Keith.”

  “Do you think that he will ever change?”

  “Eventually, but how long do you have to wait?” I asked. “I know some women who have been waiting on a man to change for over ten, fifteen or maybe even twenty years Pandia. Do you have a decade to wait around on him to change? Is it fair that he gets to run around living the life of a single man while you still live the life of a married woman?”

  Pandia was silent for a moment as we gathered her son’s items, “He says that he is stressed at work because of all of the budget cuts, he doesn’t know if he will get enough hours or even have a job when he comes to work then when he comes home he gets stressed by all of the responsibility that I lay on him with the house and little Keith.”

  I couldn’t believe the words that were coming from my sister’s mouth, “That is a bunch of bullshit Panida! If he is that stressed then he needs to depend upon his wife for comfort not run to the arms of another woman!”

  “I know Asteria, but I want my family to work. We grew up without a father and you know how hard that was on momma.”

  Remembering when my father walked out on us for another woman and never visiting or calling us again really hurt me, but seeing how strong mom was throughout made me proud once again. “Yes it was hard on mom, but she kept her self-respect and we turned out perfectly fine. Besides, you will find another man if that is what you are worried about.”

  “I don’t want another man; I want the father of my child, my husband, at home. That is what is best for little Keith. Being married is so much more complex than you realize Asteria, but if things with you and Eric keep going as well as they have been I’m sure that you will find out how hard marriage is soon.”

  Ignoring her last comment I helped my sister and her son put on their coats, kissed them both goodbye and walked her to my door. I don’t care how complex marriage is, I would never put up with a man cheating on me.

  I don’t know why I was surprised when Keith walked in an hour after Pandia and little Keith walked out; I felt him climb into bed with me and our son, kissing me softly on my neck.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered.

  “I came to see you, but I had to make sure that she was at home.”

  “You need to leave and go home Keith.” I said as I pushed his hand off of my breast.

  “Come on now, you have been playing me off for the past week.” Keith pulled my tank top down forcefully, ripping it and exposing my bare breast. I jumped up out of bed.

  “Keith leave now; it is over between us! I cannot do this anymore. I cannot live with myself knowing what I am doing to my sister.”

  “Here you go
with this bullshit again.” He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me to him, “You know that you want this.”

  Just then Latif started to stir.

  “Leave before you wake Latif up.”

  “I guess that mechanic got your nose wide open now.”

  “This has nothing to do with Eric, but it has everything to do with me.”

  “It is funny how you didn’t give a fuck about me fucking around on your sister, but now you want to act all holy and shit.” Keith fumed, “You better hope that she never finds out about us and the truth about your son.”

  Folding my arms across my chest I said, “No you better hope that she never finds out.”

  Keith laughed, “I have nothing to worry about because she will never leave me, but you, well you are her sister and she will never forgive you.” Keith yanked my panties down and began toying with my pussy, but I didn’t respond to his touch; that didn’t matter to Keith he took what he came for then left when he was done.

  I didn’t move until I heard his truck speed down the street. I knew that Keith would never tell her, but just the thought of what I did made me sick. I couldn’t believe that I was a person who would betray the love and trust between twin sisters for a man. Keith was not worth it and if I could turn back the hands of time I would never have slept with him. How could I have been so stupid thinking that he would ever leave his wife for me when deep down I knew that Keith had no intentions on leaving her? I was the selfish one, constantly feeling as if Pandia and I were in some sort of competition when we weren’t. The tears stung when they ran down my face, because of my own insecurities I hurt my sister, and ruining her family and now I have to deal with the reality that I may have to raise Latif without his father and spend the rest of my life without my sister.

  34

  Jovanna

  I’d been fighting an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach since I woke up this morning, but I agreed to let Justin take me to lunch where he once again began questioning me about what happened to the ring. I hated lying to Justin, but it was necessary because the truth would hurt him even more. During lunch Asteria called to tell me about her falling out with Santana and to gush about Eric.

  Later that evening while Justin was watching the game, I lied and told him that I was going to Santana’s house to try to defuse the bomb between her and Asteria, but I was really going to meet Chad and pay him back his money. I put the large envelope that was stuffed with money in my purse and headed out of the door and across the bridge into St. Charles to the casino. I fought the urge to turn and run away as I walked slowly into the casino.

  I purposely sat facing the entrance to the iBar so that I could see when Chad entered the room which he did at exactly six o’clock. Dressed in a pair of copper slacks, black and copper cashmere sweater and a fedora. He was alone.

  “I am surprised that you showed up.” He said as he slid into the seat to my right. “I was prepared to make a visit to your house and talk to your man.”

  “I knew that you would.” I retorted as I grabbed the heavy envelope out of my purse.

  “Wow, you move quickly; I thought that we would catch up and reminisce about old times.”

  “This is what you came for right?” I said handing him the envelope, “So take it and leave me the fuck alone.”

  With well-manicured hands Chad took the envelop out of my hands and put it in his pocket, “That is easier said than done Marquita.” He grabbed my wrist, “You see in my line of work a reputation means everything. A pimp with a reputation of keeping his hoes in their place while keeping his business tight means a lot, but a pimp who lets his hoes walk away with his money isn’t shit. What you did to me cost me a lot more than ten-thousand Marquita and that I can’t get back.”

  I swallowed hard, “Let me go or I will scream.”

  “And if you scream I will make sure your little snowflake and everyone else know exactly who you are and what you are capable of.” His southern voice was thick and deep, “Now what you are going to do is walk calmly out of this fine establishment without any fuss.”

  “Do what you will, but I am not leaving here with you.” I spat trying to release my arm from Chad’s grasp.

  “I wonder how Justin would feel about knowing the woman of his dreams isn’t anything more than a two-bit hoe that had bad cocaine habit.”

  “I am not that person anymore.”

  “You can’t run away from what you truly are. I wonder how many lies you told to get this money that you just handed me. I wonder who you stole it from. How would his family feel about knowing the woman their son was about to marry was a whore? I know that his family is very important in this town, I don’t think that they would take too kindly about scandal in their family.”

  I held my head down low, “Chad what do you want from me? Haven’t you taken enough?”

  “Get up and let’s go.”

  I knew that he wouldn’t stop unless I did what he wanted so I got up and followed him to the parking lot, but I knew that if I got in his car I would never see Justin again. Chad had a tight grasp on my left arm he pushed the button to unlock his car door but as he attempted to force me into the car I reached down and grabbed his nuts with as much force as I possibly could, Chad let go of my arm and bent down in agony. I struggled to get past him and run away, but he reached up and smacked me across the mouth I felt my lip rip open and blood pour out of my mouth. The smack came with so much force that it knocked me back against a black truck that was parked alongside of his Cadillac, instead of falling I regained my balance quickly as I used my heavy purse as a weapon and began swinging it forcefully in his direction, hitting him twice in his head.

  Chad grabbed the purse and tried to use it as leverage to pull me closer to him, but I let it go as I tried to run, but I ended up slamming into the truck’s side view mirror which sent a different kind of pain through my arm and chest. Chad reached and grabbed me behind my neck, throwing me down to the ground hitting my head on the hard concrete. I attempted to scream, but Chad had a tight grasp around my neck. I could feel my breath being choked out of me as I struggled to keep my consciousness; I flailed my arms in an attempt to fight him off of me. I didn’t want to die laying on a cold, hard parking lot in between two cars, I didn’t let Chad kill me when I was Marquita and I wasn’t going to let him kill me as Jovanna. Gathering all of my strength I reached up with both arms and began clawing at his face and eyes. I dug deep until he released his grasp around my throat. Chad screamed out in pain holding his bleeding with his hands.

  “You fucking bitch!”

  Coughing I managed to rise to my feet as I staggered away from the cars I saw two women getting out of their own cars and I waved my arms in the air in an attempt to get their attention.

  “Help!” I screamed while holding my throat, the women came rushing towards me with concern in their eyes but that concern turned to fear. Suddenly the pain in my back was so intense that it took the remainder of my breath away. I felt the effect before I heard the cause.

  I felt as if I were falling in slow motion, I could see the women running towards me and the faint sound of Chad’s car starting up then speeding out of the parking lot. Hitting the ground with a thud I felt as if I were paralyzed. But the sharp sting in my back told me that I still had some sort of feeling as the blood trickled down my body onto the stony pavement.

  “Hang on honey help is on the way.” One of the women cried as she took off her coat and laid it on top of me. I could hear her friend on the phone with the police and three men rushed over to see what was going on.

  “Oh my God what happened?” one of the men said as he lifted my head and placed his rolled up coat underneath.

  “I don’t know someone shot her.” The answered.

  “Did anyone see who did this?” someone asked.

  “No, but we did see a red car with out of state plates drive off.”

  “Hang on sweetie.” The woman said as she held onto my hand, “The police are comin
g.”

  I attempted to speak, but agony and weakness made it impossible. I was grateful for all of their help, but I wondered how many of them would have been by my side had they’d known that I deceived my soon-to-be husband and that the man that shot me was my ex-pimp because I stole money from him when I was a prostitute.

  35

  Santana

  “This is so good.” Tabitha smiled as she forked more spaghetti in her already full mouth, “I can’t believe that I’ve never been here before.”

  I felt bad about pressing her for the money and since Mike wasn’t answering his phone, I decided to take her to Maggiano’s Italian restaurant. “I can’t believe that no one has taken you here either. Mike and I use to come here a lot when we got married.”

  “Wow it must be nice to have someone splurge money on you like that.”

  I took a sip of my Pinot Noir, “I never looked at it like that. Well someone is spending money on you; look at those rocks you’ve been sporting in your ears lately.”

  Tabitha touched the large diamonds in her ear nervously, “I’ve had these for a while.”

  “Maybe you should’ve pawned those to pay your car note.”

  Tabitha looked insulted, “If you only brought me here to chastise me about the money then you may as well take me back home.”

  “I’m sorry Tab; I didn’t mean to offend you. Let’s enjoy the rest of our night together.”

  “You made me feel bad.” She pouted.

  “Well maybe later I can make it up to you by making you feel good.”

  Tabitha raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, “I like how that sounds.”

  My phone alerted me to a text, to my surprise it was from Mike:

  Where are you?

  I didn’t feel like arguing with him and I was enjoying my night with Tabitha so I ignored the text.

  “Has he came back home yet?”

  I shook my head no, “Now ask me if I miss him.” I winked.