Can't Help Falling in Love- Sullivans 3

by Bella Andre

  She knew a flush covered her cheeks as she nodded. Before, when she’d had this fantasy, it had been a nameless, faceless man blindfolding her. Gabe had starred in every single one of her fantasies since the fire.

  He lowered the silk over her eyes and gently lifted her head from the pillow to tie it. “Can you see anything?”

  She could see light creeping in along the edges, but that was all. “No.”

  “Good.” Promises of sensual pleasure filled the short word. “If you can promise to stay just where you are, to trust me to make you feel good, we’ll save tying you to the bedposts for another one of my fantasies.”

  She was shocked that she could become even more aroused. Somehow, without her ever giving voice to her hidden desires, he knew them.

  His warm hands covered her breasts, then, his fingers rolling over her erect nipples. “You like that plan, don’t you, sweetheart?”

  Since her body had already answered him, it was fairly easy to say, “Yes.” She licked her lips. “I like it very much.”

  She heard him groan softly, felt the mattress shift beneath his weight as he moved. “My sexy little risk-taker.”

  Her surprise at his words got lost in the sensation of Gabe settling between her thighs, his hands on the sensitive skin between her legs, pushing her open for him.

  “If you could only see how wet you are.”

  His fingers pressed gently against her panties, which she knew had to be soaked by now from the way he was teasing her. Right from the start, she’d loved the way he spoke to her, the super-sexy, slightly dirty talk that she’d never thought to experience...but had always secretly wondered about.

  His heat seared her and she bucked into his hand. She was so close already that it wouldn’t take much more to push her over the edge. Especially with her vision taken away, every touch, every scent, every sound was so much more potent. So much more powerful.

  And then, suddenly, wet warmth covered her, his tongue stroking her through the pink lace.

  She had to put her hands in his hair, had to buck her hips up into his mouth. There was no skin-on-skin contact, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t need it, just more of the delicious pressure of—

  “Oh God.” The words left her mouth as he pulled aside her panties and his tongue was there. On her. Over her. In her.

  His fingers were everywhere at once as his tongue and teeth worked over her most sensitive flesh. One caressed her breasts, pinching her nipples just perfectly, the other drove inside her, and for the first time ever, Megan actually screamed as she came, a ragged sound that she wouldn’t have been able to believe belonged to her if she’d been able to think at all.

  For long moments, as waves of pleasure continued to rise, explode, then crest through her, Gabe continued to play between her legs, over her clit, her breasts.

  She felt limp, exhausted, by the time her climax finally receded. But when she felt Gabe slowly crawling up over her, so close that his rock-hard erection rubbed over her skin, she was hit with a second wind.

  He kissed his way up her body, soft love bites that had her trembling again by the time he reached her face.

  “Thank you for trusting me, sweetheart.”

  He slid the blindfold off at the same moment that he slid into her and she felt herself open up to him in a way she hadn’t ever opened up to anyone before. The walls she’d built, those final prison bars around her heart, came crashing down as he held her so gently and kissed her so sweetly.

  If ever there was a time in her life to take a risk, it was now. If ever there was a person to risk it all for, it was Gabe. But before she could make her lips form the words, he was saying, “Come over to the other side with me, love,” and up, up, up she went as her next climax stole away every last thought, along with any possibility of speech.

  All that remained was the love pouring from him to her...and back again as she finally let Gabe all the way into her soul.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Megan had her arms tightly wrapped around Gabe and with her hands spread out over his chest, she could feel his heart beating, hard, steady.

  She hadn’t come to him this morning for sex, hadn’t come simply to scratch the itch that only he could reach.

  The truth was that she’d come for this connection.

  For more happiness than she’d ever thought was possible.

  For love.

  “Gabe?”

  “Mmm?”

  He brushed the damp hair from her forehead and pressed a kiss to her skin. She loved his easy affection, that he wasn’t a man who felt he needed to hold anything back to be macho or manly. Not for the first time, she was struck by how well his mother had raised her sons. Yes, many of them were clearly big-time players with the ladies, but she couldn’t imagine any one of them purposely hurting a woman.

  And, from meeting Chase and Marcus, she could see that once they fell in love, it really was forever. Chloe and Nicola were clearly the center of Gabe’s brothers’ worlds. She had a hunch about Chloe, one she hoped she was right about. It would be so lovely to be able to hold—and spoil—a little baby in the not-so-distant future.

  As she luxuriated in the warm caress of Gabe’s eyes on her, the vision of Chloe and Chase’s baby morphed into something different. Something that should have frightened her even more...but only sent more joy moving through her, instead.

  Gabe would be the most incredible father. He was already one of Summer’s favorite people on the planet. But Megan was getting ahead of herself.

  First he needed to know how she felt about him.

  “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

  “I can’t wait to hear it, sweetheart.”

  Megan was silent for a moment as she marveled at being this lucky, that Gabe had been the one to find her and Summer in their burning apartment, that they’d connected afterward and found such amazing sparks, that they’d managed to work through their issues and...

  “I tried to make myself stay away from you, to keep you at arm’s length, to keep you from getting too close to me and Summer. But I’ve come to realize that even if I succeeded in keeping my distance from you, even if I told you I couldn’t be with you anymore, it wouldn’t protect me. Not in the least. Because I’d still be scared every time I turned on the news and heard reports of a big fire. And I’d still die inside if anything happened to you.” She hated to even think it, let alone say the words, but she knew she needed to. “I’ve come to realize that pushing you away won’t protect anyone’s heart. All it guarantees is that I’ll miss out on the joy of being with you.”

  This was it, this was the big moment when she would finally tell him, “I—”

  His cell went off just then, a special ring, and although he was clearly frustrated by the interruption, he reached out to grab his phone from the table beside the bed.

  “What does that ring mean?”

  “It’s an urgent fire call.” His frown deepened with every word he read.

  She sat up in bed, pulling the covers over her naked skin as if that would somehow protect her from what was happening. “It’s a bad one, isn’t it?”

  He nodded, already moving from the bed to put on his clothes. “A truck potentially carrying hazardous materials crashed into several stores in Chinatown.”

  Oh God, she thought. It’s a sign.

  It had to be.

  All the fears she thought had been loved into submission raised their heads and called out to her, screaming for her to listen, to heed their warnings.

  What, they screeched at her, are you doing? You can still run to safety, before it’s too late.

  She’d been lulled into thinking she could be in a serious relationship with him, that she could accept the fear of losing Gabe, but now she realized why. He hadn’t been called in to any fires while they’d been together...and she’d purposely kept from asking him about what happened during his shifts because she’d known she couldn’t have handled hearing about any dangerou
s situations.

  And here she’d just been about to confess her love to him.

  He was fully clothed within seconds and moving back to where she was frozen on the bed. “Megan? Sweetheart?”

  She shifted in Gabe’s arms, moved back toward the headboard, away from him. “Your crew needs you. The people in the burning buildings need you. You need to go.” Her words came out harsher than she wanted them to, even as her heart was screaming, I need you, too.

  But instead of leaving, Gabe put his hands on either side of her face. “I love you, Megan.”

  He kissed her softly and when he lifted his mouth from hers, she knew what he was waiting for. It was her turn to say the words, to admit just how much she cared about him. It was what she’d been on the verge of doing a split second before the urgent call came in.

  But she still couldn’t do it, not when fear for him was eating her up from the inside out.

  No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t stop him from going to the fire. Chaining him to her and Summer, forcing him to live a “safe” life, would kill him inside faster than a fire ever could.

  His cell went off again and she hugged him tight, then forced herself to push all the way out of his arms and let him go do his job.

  “You need to go,” she said again, her brain stuck in an infinite loop of dread, of dark premonition.

  Gabe stared at her for a long moment, everything he felt for her in his eyes. “You’re right, I need to go now and fight this fire, but I promise I’ll come back to you. To Summer.”

  She shook her head. It was hard to breathe. “How can you make me that promise?”

  He moved closer again, took his hands in his, laid them over his heart. “Have I ever broken a promise to you, Megan?”

  “No.”

  “I’m not going to break it now.”

  With a final kiss, his mouth warm on her suddenly cold one, he was gone.

  * * *

  As Gabe drove to the location of the fire, he knew he had never loved anyone the way he loved Megan. And Summer, too. He wanted them both in his life. He wanted to be a husband to Megan and a father to Summer.

  He’d long ago let go of his concerns about dating a fire victim. Megan was so much more than that, and the truth was, he had never really been able to think of her in those terms. She was the antithesis of a victim.

  He’d thought Megan was moving past her own concerns, that she was getting used to the idea of his job. But the way she’d just reacted to the fire call...well, she was clearly still fighting those demons her husband had left her with.

  Still, hadn’t Gabe purposely kept some of the more extreme fires he’d been to from her? Not because he liked keeping her in the dark, but because he didn’t think it was fair to shove it all down her throat at once. Judging by her reaction to this fire, he wanted to tell himself he’d done the right thing by keeping from her the truth of the danger he faced on a regular basis.

  But, he suddenly realized, he hadn’t been fair to Megan by protecting her from the reality of a future with him. Didn’t she deserve to have all the data at hand before she agreed to love him back?

  His gut twisted at the way she’d told him to go, at the uncertainty in her previously clear eyes as she looked at him as if her heart were breaking.

  Able to see the smoke from several blocks away, Gabe drove in as close as he could before grabbing his gear from the bed of his truck, and walking straight toward the fiery mess in the center of Chinatown.

  Gabe could hear gas screaming from the ruptured pipes of the gas main the truck had slammed into right before it hit the buildings on the east side of Grant Street. The crew from Engine 5 was already streaming water to disperse the gas to make sure it didn’t ignite.

  Quickly noting the crew had been too busy with the gas leak and the building’s occupants to lay a supply line around to the narrow alley between buildings, he grabbed the hydrant valve, hose from the nearest engine, and laid in the line.

  His captain arrived with his partner, Eric, just a step behind him. “Let’s see if we can save some of these stores.”

  Gabe grabbed tools and the hose line, put on his face piece, and pulled up his hose. He took the nozzle with Eric backing him up and advanced into the building. Turning into the doorway, he opened the nozzle at the ceiling until the flames subsided.

  He didn’t have any ventilation and the smoke was thick, thick enough that he dropped to his knees to crawl across the room to a window. He got it open but, unfortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference.

  Slowly, he moved forward into the building, the hose leading the way, Eric at his back.

  The situation was bad. Really bad.

  But he’d made Megan a promise, damn it.

  And he had to keep it.

  No matter what.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Megan couldn’t do it.

  She’d known all along that she wasn’t strong enough to be with a man who risked his life every day. It was what she’d told Gabe over and over. Immediately after their first kiss, and then again after their first night together. She’d tried to make him understand how impossible this was for her, had tried to keep her heart safe from falling.

  But, oh, how she’d wanted to be with him, how she’d wanted the thrill of his kisses, the warmth of his smile, the special connection he had with Summer. So she’d tried.

  She’d really tried.

  But the panic that had slammed into her when he’d told her about the fire, about the hazardous materials…no, there was no way she could handle being this terrified on a daily basis.

  Even after Gabe left his apartment to head for Chinatown, Megan remained right where she was, in his bed, surrounded by his scent, his things, wanting to feel even that small connection a little longer.

  Mere minutes ago, she’d been about to take the biggest risk of her life by telling him she loved him and she’d thought that was so difficult. But now she knew what would be infinitely harder: telling him goodbye.

  Forever.

  As she finally left his apartment, she was followed by the wonderful memories of being with him. Sitting on his lap looking out at the city lights, watching—and creating—fireworks up on the roof, slipping and sliding together in the bathtub, and then curling up with him in his bed. Warm. And safe, so much safer than she’d ever felt before.

  No. She couldn’t let herself think about any of that.

  She needed to go home. Get to work. Stay focused on her client’s spreadsheets until it was time to pick Summer up from school. And then, when Gabe came back from the fire—if he came back—she’d steel herself to make the final break with him.

  Her steps faltered as she slowly walked along the sidewalk. How much easier would her life have been if she’d never met Gabe? If some other firefighter had saved her and Summer, and she’d simply have continued her normal life—meeting with clients, taking care of paying the bills, raising her daughter the best she knew how...and dating perfectly nice men with safe jobs.

  No question about it, that safety was what she should have been wishing for.

  But now that she’d tasted real joy, utter sweetness, she knew anything else would be bland. Boring.

  Oh God, she was in trouble.

  Because even though she was terrified about letting herself love Gabe, wholly and completely, she couldn’t seem to save herself—and her daughter—by walking away from him either.

  All the rational arguments, all the spreadsheets and calculations of risk versus reward in the world couldn’t stop Megan from turning in the opposite direction...straight toward the dark smoke spiraling up from the busy streets of Chinatown.

  * * *

  It was worse than she could have imagined. So much worse. Not only were several buildings on fire, but there was singed food and clothes from the stores all over the street, rolling down gutters running fast with the water from the fire engines.

  As Megan moved through the crowd she caught snippets of conve
rsation about the fire.

  “Do they know what the hazardous materials are yet?”

  “I heard it was a gas leak that could blow the buildings sky high.”

  “I’m scared, Mommy. Are the firefighters going to be okay?”

  A line of police officers was holding people back along the street, behind a row of fire engines. She had no idea how they’d managed to get the engines into the narrow street, through the crowds of cars and people.

  A moment later a sudden burst of flames shot up out of the roof of one of the stores just to the side of the truck’s smashed-in engine.

  “We need all of you to back up.”

  She knew the police officer was right, that she’d be safer farther back. It wasn’t fair for her to expect Gabe to be safe if she wasn’t doing the same thing.

  A few minutes later, when they were almost a full block away from the fire, she saw Gabe’s truck double-parked on the corner. Pushing her way through the crowd, she pressed her hand against the cool metal of his door. Realizing he’d left it unlocked, she opened the door and climbed inside.

  His truck smelled like him, clean and smoky all at the same time. Her hands were tight on the steering wheel as she stared up at the black smoke spiraling into the air, forming clouds of ash in the previously blue sky.

  Her brain was stuck on Pause, on a far-too-vivid mental picture of Gabe surrounded by flames, just the way he’d looked the first time she’d met him in her burning apartment building.

  Those visions had started to fade during the past months, but now she was bombarded with them one after the other. Looking up and seeing him gesturing for her to get out of the tub, to follow him through her apartment to the stairs. How strong, how steady he’d been as he’d helped her and Summer get to safety.

  And yet, even though they all could have been killed and Gabe had ended up in the hospital after the beam fell on him, she knew deep in her core that everything he’d done—everything he’d asked of her that horrible afternoon—had been as safe as it could possibly be.