by Eden Elgabri
I adjusted my position and berated myself for my imperfections. More than anything I hated displeasing him. He pulled my hair to the side and bit along my neck. His mouth encased my ear and his tongue lapped along the inside. His breath in my ear caused my knees to buckle, and I thought for sure I'd end up on the floor.
"I can't wait for you tonight. I need to pump. Strip naked and present yourself."
I flung my clothes to the floor as I tore them off my body and hopped up on the bed, ass in the air. He was really deviating from whatever fantasy would be explored tonight, but I knew sooner or later he'd get to it.
The foil ripped and his cock entered me hard, a frenzied pace from the get go. As he thrust into me, he reached in front and tantalized my clit with his fingers. I'd barely been in the bedroom more than a few minutes before not only was I coming, but even odder, he was coming too.
I knew we'd rest and then take our time for the second round. Or at least that's what I thought. Then his phone buzzed. He picked it up off the nightstand and looked at the message.
"Get dressed. You've got to go."
I just stared at him as if I had somehow missed something important. “Now?"
"I'm sorry. A friend's in the hospital in Providence. It's serious and I have to go.” He practically jumped from the bed and pulled on his underwear and socks. He threw on a pair of pants that had been hanging on the back of his chair and looked around for a shirt. He opened a drawer and pulled out an un-ironed shirt that didn't match and hastily buttoned it. I'd never seen him look like that. Like a bum. If he was going out looking like that, it had to be life or death.
"In Providence? You're going to drive an hour to a hospital in Providence now?"
"We were close. Hurry up. You have to leave."
I finished getting my own clothes on and he hustled me out of the house. I hadn't even fastened my seatbelt when his sports car was out of the driveway and up the hill. Damn it, if he drove like that all the way he'd be killed. I fretted and worried all the way home and then pouted over being home so early on a Friday. I changed into dirty jeans and a sweat shirt and paced. Hospitals didn't let anyone but family in after visiting hours, unless of course the person was dying.
Unease gripped me and I got on the computer to check my email and see if there was anything from the girls. That's when I noticed it. A new connection. Between Michael and ‘me’ it said. I clicked on the avatar for ‘Me.'
A twenty-seven year old redhead.
My stomach knotted and my hands started to shake. There was no one in the hospital. He fucked me fast to get rid of me because he had a younger better offer.
Just like my ex-husband.
I barely made it to the toilet before I lost the contents of my stomach. When there was nothing left I curled up in the fetal position and sobbed. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't end now. I needed him. I loved him. The thought of being without him made my heart ache like it had been crushed in someone's hand.
I had to know. More than anything I wanted some poor bastard to be dying in Providence. I wanted the avatar to be some kind of mistake, but I knew before I ever turned the corner to his street that his car would be in the driveway. It was and a piece of me died. If I'd been smart I would have waited for her to show up, but I had to see him. Had to let him know I wasn't an idiot. I'd spent years with a liar and I knew all the tricks.
I rang the bell and he answered the door still in the wrinkled shirt. He didn't let me in, just stood with the screen between us. I started to cry. “I saw the avatar,” I yelled. “Twenty-seven year old ‘Me.’ So you threw me out so you could fuck someone else? We have a contract. No sex with anyone else until the contract is up."
"It's my old girlfriend. She said she was in the hospital with a brain tumor. We were together for two and a half years. How could I know she was lying?"
"Bullshit. You just ‘connected’ online today."
"Are you checking up on me? Is that what you're doing? That's why you're back here?” The phone he was holding rang then. He looked at the number. “It's her and I'm going to be doing a lot of yelling. Leave. And don't come back here tonight."
There was something about the way he said the word her. I'm not sure if it was his tone, the expression on his face, or both, but I knew in that split second that he loved her. “We're done,” I yelled with as much pride as I could muster. He slammed the door in my face. For a few seconds I stood there staring at the door hoping the entire scene hadn't actually occurred. But it had and I needed to get out of there.
I got back in the car and sat there crying not knowing how I'd make it the fifteen minute drive without cracking up the car. I couldn't breathe. My eyes were blinded by tears, and a numbness took over. Somehow, and to be honest I don't know how, I made it back to my apartment. I sat on the couch, unable to move, unable to think. I only felt. Pain. An overwhelming and indescribable pain. Like a piece of me had been cut off. A piece of the real me.
I didn't want it to be true. We hadn't been together long, but I needed him. He was all I looked forward to. The ‘dates’ with my Dom was what made the rest of my sorry existence endurable. Without enough energy to leave the couch, I sat there, an empty shell staring into space, unable to do anything. My eyes would blink and tears would fall until they couldn't fall anymore. At some point I glanced at the clock and realized I hadn't moved in five hours. Mechanically, I wandered to my bed and collapsed on top of it not bothering to undress or even attempt to slide under the covers.
He'll call, I told myself. He's bound to realize she's too young for him. She must have played him and she'll play him again. He'll think about how good I am for him, how much I want to please him. Don't be stupid. She's a young girl so he won't be able to see her clearly. Been there, experienced that, remember? You can't compete, you fool.
And so on the brain battled, until two days later he still hadn't called, and I had to acknowledge that he probably wasn't going to. I wouldn't call him. There was no point. The one thing you could never do was make someone want or love you. I'd learned that the hard way. They either did or they didn't, and it looked like once again I was shit out of luck.
The thought of the week ahead with nothing to look forward to was almost too much to bear. Only one thing would help. I would go back to the computer and find another one. Another Dom. It'd take some time, but my profile was still there lying dormant. All I had to do was update it. If I gave the site fifteen to twenty minutes a day, it would give me a distraction and make me at least feel proactive. I'd be smart the next time and not allow myself to fall in love.
Who knew if I really loved him in the first place? Maybe I'd just believed it since he was the first person I'd slept with since my divorce. But deep down I knew better. I cared more about losing him than I had my ex-husband. I wondered if he was with her now. I hated myself for being so petty, but I hoped the bitch ripped his heart out and disposed of it as carelessly as he'd tossed out mine.
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Chapter Six
The next three weeks my grade point average dipped significantly. I spent more time than I should have on the computer, and maneuvered through a minefield of Doms. Dodging one potential disaster after another, I continued to narrow down my choices. Only one showed any real promise. I sent him my cell phone number and after a few phone conversations we set up a date for dinner. Oddly, this man was named Michael, too. The difference was he wasn't just looking for a sexual relationship. He wanted real dates to go along with them. Dinner. Movies. The real world followed by the alternate one. I figured this was a good thing since it was exactly what I had wanted and what had been missing with the last Michael.
I met the new man at Spumoni's and we enjoyed a lovely meal. For all intents and purposes it was a normal first date. Over Chicken Escarole soup we talked about our lives, how busy they were, and what we were looking for in a relationship. What made it different was our conversation by the end of the date. By the chocolate mousse cake
we talked about what we wanted sexually. Part of me wanted to cry right there at the table. What the hell was I doing? Did I need sex that badly? It's not like I hadn't gone without it before.
No. That wasn't it. I needed to make up for the loneliness and the hole in my heart where my Michael belonged.
The impostor walked me to my car and kissed me. The connection only made me feel more alone. His hand reached up and he cupped my breast and squeezed. I yelped and pushed back from him knowing there'd be a bruise. He apologized and might have been sincere but I couldn't read him that well. For all his straight talk and wanting a relationship, I couldn't help but think actions spoke louder than words. Nothing more happened. Leaving the parking lot, he turned right and I turned left.
Later on that night I analyzed the situation I found myself in. If I wanted it to go further all I had to do was email or call to set up a date for the weekend. I could have sex if I wanted it. He was an attractive man with seductive deep set blue eyes. I just needed to decide if I wanted to continue on this path. More than anything I wished for a sign. Sighing, I opened my laptop and did my daily email check.
There it was. When I least expected it. When I was sure that he was long gone and I'd never hear from him again, an email from Michael appeared. My Michael. My hands shook as I opened the email. One line graced the screen resuscitating hope. ‘I would so like to hear from you.'
My heart soared. If things were going well with his infant, he'd have no reason to want to hear from me. More than likely she'd dumped him and he wanted me back. My heart pounded. He wanted me back.
But did I want him? Of course I did, but could I take him back knowing he loved someone else? I had to talk to him. My hands shook as I made the call. No answer. I left a short message and he called me back a few minutes later. I had to know the truth so I asked point blank. Yes, he loved her, but had given up on her long ago. No, he hadn't slept with her since we'd been apart.
I didn't believe that second one, but as long as they were over and he wanted me back, I was happy. Well, I wouldn't run straight to happy. I didn't actually ever think I'd know happiness again. But having him back was all that mattered.
"I need to fuck you. I can't wait until Friday. Are you very busy?"
"I can be there in twenty minutes, Sir."
"The door will be open."
He hung up and I ran to the closet to change my clothes. I dressed quickly and headed out the door like the place was on fire. The smart me kept asking if my IQ had dropped. When had I suddenly become stupid? My heart shut out the sounds of my head. There was joy in forgiveness. And surely he'd show remorse for his sins.
Any thoughts I might have had about a balance of power were quickly forgotten. The second I was in his presence he reminded me of the power play between us and the reason I liked it. We never even made it to the bedroom. He took me on the floor where he found me. Starved for each other, we didn't begin by dissecting what had happened. As a matter of fact, we didn't even speak. He just ground me into the carpet, first fucking me hard and fast, and then repeating the process in a more leisurely manner. When we'd used up every spec of physical energy we could muster, and basked, limbs entangled in the afterglow, for an undetermined amount of time, the ability to formulate speech reappeared.
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” he murmured in my ear.
I stretched and yawned, my groggy voice not much more than a whisper. “Not much. The girls are coming on Sunday. We're going out to dinner to celebrate then."
"Let's get together on Thursday then. We can have dinner here together and make it an interesting Thanksgiving."
I grinned at him. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I had a reason to give thanks. I didn't stay long but it didn't matter. I'd be seeing him in a few days and we'd be spending the entire day together. Not only that, but at some point we'd be eating Thanksgiving dinner. How normal would it be?
I'd told my kids I was spending it with friends from school. I'd really just planned on being by myself and I wasn't looking forward to it. I could have intruded into someone else's holiday, but just wasn't into it. I wondered now if Michael had planned on being with her and invited me so he wouldn't have to be alone. I had to stay away from the thought of her. We'd be together and that was all that mattered. Her loss, my gain. Still I wondered about his family and why he wasn't spending the holiday with them.
Since it was only a few days away, the time passed more quickly than I anticipated. Thanksgiving morning I woke more excited than I'd been for any other. Michael had called the night before and said he'd be picking me up at noon. “Dress like you're going to a nice restaurant,” he'd said and I wondered if that was what we were going to do. The only times we'd been out in public had to do with the sexual fantasies so they didn't really count the way I wanted them to. The closest experience to a normal relationship was the dinner we had at his house. Going out to a restaurant with him would be as datish as dates go. And I wanted it bad. As much as I hated to admit it, I wanted him to be more than just my Dom.
When he arrived all thoughts of a relationship escaped me. He had on a chocolate brown pin-striped suit, a yellow shirt, and a brown and yellow tie. I wanted to push him against the wall and fuck him right there. I'd seen my ex-husband in a million expensive suits and never had the reaction to him that I had to Michael. He wore suits like an aphrodisiac, like they were designed specifically for him to entice.
My own outfit, a black skirt and blazer that I'd accessorized with a pink silk blouse, although bought last year, was classic in style and the last expensive outfit I'd bought. I didn't look like a sexy submissive, but instead the classy woman I'd always been. We drove in the opposite direction of his house, and I fidgeted in my seat the entire way. At one point I asked him directly where we were going and he just smirked and didn't answer. So Michael.
Almost a half hour later we arrived at the country club. This one was much nicer than the one I had belonged to with my ex-husband. There was some serious money here and I understood why he had asked me to dress the way he did. We were directed to a small table directly in front of the fireplace and we sat facing it rather than back toward the rest of the room.
"Stop looking at me like that,” he whispered.
I wasn't sure what he meant. Stop looking at him adoringly? Like I loved him? With the shit eating grin? Or like I wanted to eat him up? Maybe all of the above. Behave yourself. You're on his turf. Don't embarrass him.
The waiter came over and Michael ordered a bottle of white wine while we looked at the menu. “Don't get the Thanksgiving special,” he said. “I ordered a small turkey to take home for later. You might as well have something different now."
He ordered rack of lamb and I ordered prime rib. Savory beef tender enough to be cut with a fork melted in my mouth, but delicious didn't just describe the meal. As much as the delectable dishes delighted my palate, my other senses heightened in a sizzling type of foreplay.
Almost two hours later the meal finally came to an end. How he expected that we'd want to eat anything later, I couldn't even fathom. If there occurred a moment in time when I'd been happier with a man, I couldn't recall it. Conversation was light and jovial all the way back to Michael's house.
We arrived there a little after three. Michael took me to the master bathroom and gave me a toothbrush. “Take a long hot bath, rest. I'll be back in one hour. Be naked.” He handed me my gold collar. “Don't forget this."
I had more time than I needed and the waiting was making me crazy. Desire grabbed hold and enveloped. He knocked on the door and it surprised me. It was his room and he was the master. “Miss Victoria, are you ready to amuse your master?"
Ready? I'd been thinking of nothing else for the last hour. “Yes, Sir.” He opened the door and stood there in brown silk boxers and a matching robe. Oh yeah, show time.
He looked at me on the bed, walked over to me, and tugged at my hand to help me up. “Put your shoes and stockings on. I want to watch."
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I slid on my thigh highs and eased into my pumps. He nodded and I followed him as he left the room. We walked down the hall into another bedroom. He lifted a tie from the bed and tied it around my eyes as soon as we entered so I didn't have enough time to get a good look around and see what else was in store for me.
"Can you see anything?"
"No, Sir."
He lifted my left hand and tied a rope around my wrist. He extended it outward and secured it to something, I couldn't tell what. Before I could think or protest, he did the same with my right. My arms were extended, level with my shoulders and I couldn't move more than a few inches. At the same time I couldn't see.
It didn't matter that he wasn't physically touching me yet, his proximity sent shivers down my spine. He leaned closer and I could feel his breath on my ear. I knew what was coming but the waiting made it that much more intense. When I didn't think I could wait another second for him he held my head while his tongue plundered my ear and the length of my neck before he stepped back.
When he leaned in again, his mouth latched on to my breast, tugging on the nipple. The shock of it when nothing else was touching, no hands, no other body parts, shook me to the core. He tantalized one breast and then the other in total isolation so that all sensation rested on the part being sucked. My wet nipples adjusted to the cool air as they mourned the loss of his talented mouth. I knew where else I'd like that mouth. Instead, the tip of his finger hooked just under my clit at the top of my entrance. He tugged upward.
"Nice and wet for me."
They were his only words before he stepped back and walked away from me. I heard the creak of a drawer and a few moments later a package opening. He dipped a skinny little something inside me, swirled it around, and then when it was nice and wet, inserted it into my anus. It was as thin as a finger and not much longer but when he turned it on the little vibe stimulated.