by Alice Tribue
I nod my acceptance, holding onto him as he sets me back down on the ground and leads me inside, giving the doorman a brief hello as we go. The tension swirls around us in the elevator as we ride up to my floor. I unlock my door and let us in my dark apartment, only turning on the dim lights in the entryway.
“Look at me, Victoria,” I hear him call as I drop my purse on a nearby chair. I do as I’m told and turn to meet his gaze. The expression on his face draws me in, making me literally want to throw myself bodily at him.
“Do you want this?”
I want so badly to believe in him, to believe that he could be the one who makes a difference in my life, the one who proves to be unlike all the other men I’ve been with. I want to accept that we can be together, and if given the opportunity, he can handle all that I am, and the massive career baggage that I carry. I don’t know if he’s that man, but tonight, I’m choosing to believe in the possibilities.
“I want it.”
In two strides, he’s in front of me, and his hand is on my face stroking my cheek.
“So pretty,” he murmurs as his lips descend onto mine. This kiss is unlike any other that we’ve shared because this one is full of all of my hopes. He lifts me up and carries me into the bedroom, setting me down in the middle of the room and moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Show me.”
“What?” I say on a breath.
“Show me you want it.” The command hits me right in the center of my belly. He has me exactly where he wants me. “Take off your dress.”
I don’t make him wait because, all of a sudden, the fabric that covers my body is restricting, keeping me from exactly what I want most. With no qualms, I pull the dress over my head and let it fall on the floor at my feet.
He inhales a deep breath at the sight of me covered in lacy red lingerie.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it up and over his head, tossing it to the ground.
I take in his perfectly sculpted body, muscled arms, six-pack abs, and my mouth goes dry. I knew he was hot, but this is beyond words. Looking back up at him, I smile, reaching around my back to unhook the clasp on my bra. If he’s trying to gauge my readiness, then I need to prove I’m there. I allow the straps to slide down my arms and fall to the ground. My hands find the hem of my panties and I move to slide them down.
“Don’t.”
I stop what I’m doing and lock gazes with him again.
“Come here,” he demands, his tone husky and needy. I tread lightly, closing the distance between us. I come to stop directly in front of him, right between his now open legs. He runs a finger along the hem of my panties, every second that passes teasing me with how slowly he’s moving. “These are pretty, babe,” he tells me, head tilted back so that he can look at me. I wait for him to slide them down my legs, but I let out a stunned cry when I hear the fabric being ripped from my body. In one motion, he pulls onto his lap, so I’m straddling him as his hands palm my ass and his lips take mine again.
Shit, that feels good
I move my hips against him, signaling that I want more. I can feel that he wants it, too. I squeal with a giggle when Nathan flips me over and I land on the bed with a thud.
“Dangerous game you’re playing, baby.”
“It’s not a game,” I tell him, threading my fingers through his thick hair and pulling him down to me. His lips begin a heated trail down my body stopping at my breasts. He takes one in his mouth, using his tongue to torture and tease my erect nipple. Once he’s had his fill, he moves on to the next, driving me crazy with his mouth. He releases my breast with a pop, wasting no time in resuming his journey south. His hands travel down too, stopping only when they land on my knees where he takes the opportunity to spread my legs. An involuntary whimper escapes from my mouth as I watch him watching me.
“You have a pretty pussy, baby,” he says kissing me softly there. My head falls back onto the mattress, and I find myself writhing against his tongue that’s now running up and down my folds.
“Nathan,” I murmur, wanting him to give me more. “Please.”
I’m pushed down further into the mattress by his hands on my hips, holding me in place so that I can’t control any of my own movements. I’m at his mercy now, and as frustrating as that is, I know that he’ll take care of me. I trust that. His short strokes begin to quicken, increasing in pressure. I cry out again, every moment that passes causing the sensation to become more intense. Nathan knows exactly what he’s doing to me; every touch is intentional, and I love it. When he places all his focus on my sensitive clit, I go wild. It doesn’t take long before I’m coming, sent right over the edge by this man.
Everything around me is unfocused, but I can sense movement, hear the distinct tearing of a condom wrapper, and feel the bed depress again. When my brain finally catches up, Nathan is hovering above me. He brushes the stray strands of hair out of my face and places a kiss on my forehead. I can feel his cock pressed against my entrance, and I flush at the thought of him there.
“You okay?” he questions with a slight grin.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Go.”
Something flashes in his eyes, a look I don’t understand. Hesitation, regret, I’m not sure what, but for a second, right before he pushes it away and slides into me, it makes me wonder if there’s something wrong. Soon awe, hunger, and pure fucking ecstasy replace that wonder as he begins to move. It’s better than it’s ever been; maybe it’s because I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else, but I would gladly give away all of my money to feel like this forever. Or more specifically, to feel this way about him forever. I grip his biceps and wrap my legs around his waist; no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get close enough to him. I have an intense need to capture this moment in the recesses of my brain and keep it close in case there aren’t others like it.
He begins to drive his cock harder and faster, making coherent thoughts difficult. All that’s left to do is to enjoy what’s happening, be present in the moment, and cherish it. I move my hips, meeting his thrusts, needing so badly to relieve the pressure that’s building inside. He claims my mouth again, and I can sense when he starts to lose control because his rhythm becomes more frantic.
“Shit, baby.” He groans after breaking the kiss. He lifts up to his knees grabbing me behind the knees and pulling me up for better leverage. His fingers find my clit and he applies pressure, stroking it as he continues his furious pace. I vaguely register that I’m crying out incoherent ramblings. I’m so fucking close that I can’t take it anymore.
“Oh God, please,” I beg, digging my nails into his flesh as I explode around him. My orgasm surges through my entire body as he collapses on top of me. Holy shit. I’m done for. If sex with Nathan is always like this, I’m ruined, done, irrevocably changed.
“Fuck. Jesus Christ, baby, that was intense.”
“Just a little bit.”
“I think things between us just got complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“Can’t get rid of me now, babe. I know you’ve tried your hardest.”
“I’m done trying.”
“Good.” He nuzzles my cheek with his nose and places a chaste kiss on my lips. “Going to take care of this condom.”
“Okay.” I watch him walk away, enjoying the full view of his backside as he goes. I can’t help the giddy grin splayed across my face. I wait for Nathan to come back, but after a few minutes, I start to get concerned. Deciding to check on him, I slide out of bed and head to the bathroom. When I get there, Nathan is splashing water on his face. He turns off the faucet and grips the edge of the sink, taking a deep breath, and drops his head down. He almost looks upset.
“Nathan?” I call, worried that he might think that this whole thing was a mistake.
His head jerks up, and he looks at me through the mirror.
“Hey, baby.”
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“You were gone a while. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he says turning toward me. “I think I overexerted myself. I got a little lightheaded.”
“Oh, are you better now?” I ask feeling both relieved that I was worried for no reason and concerned that he might be sick.
“Yes.” He smiles, reaching out for me and pulling me to him. “Nothing that a hot shower won’t fix.”
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then.” I pull away, moving to give him space, but he pulls me back in.
“Not so fast. I need constant supervision.”
I grin from ear to ear. “You do?”
“Yep, to make sure I don’t pass out in the shower, hit my head, you never know. Can’t be too careful.”
“No, I guess not. I’d hate to have something happen to you on my watch.”
“That’s more like it.” He groans, picking me up and smacking my ass. I let out a squeal when his hand connects with my bottom.
Chuckling, he turns on the water and sets me down in my walk-in shower where he proceeds to prove to me how quickly he’d healed from overexerting himself.
CHAPTER TEN
She takes her pills out of the bottle then puts them in her mouth and drinks from the glass bottle with the yellow liquid I’m not supposed to touch. She’s dressed funny again; her dress is really short and it’s bright red. I can see her black undies peeking out and her hair is loose in curls. When I asked her to curl my hair like that too, she told me to go to my room. I hid under the table in the kitchen instead; she can’t see me here.
There’s a loud banging on the door, and I jump, but she opens the door and a man comes in. He’s tall, so, so tall, even taller than my daddy, but I’m not worried because he’s in a policeman’s uniform and everyone knows policemen are good.
He looks at her funny; he looks mean and it makes me scared that he looks at her like that. I hug my knees trying to make myself very small. I don’t want him to see me.
She looks scared now, too. She looks over at the kitchen and her eyes go really big. She sees me now, and she looks mad. He pulls out a small ball with straps from a bag and she says something to him. I can’t hear her, but he looks over to where I am and he smiles. But it’s not a happy smile; it’s a scary smile. I can’t move. I don’t want him to come near me.
“I don’t care. Let the little bitch watch,” he tells her, shoving the ball in her mouth and tying the straps behind her head. Next, he uses the things he carries on his belt, the things they put on bad guys, he puts them on my mommy’s wrists, and now she can’t move or talk. He hits her in her face and she cries; I scream and the man points at me and yells at me not to make any noise. He says he’ll kill me if I ever tell anyone.
My eyes fill with tears, but I’m careful not to make a noise. I nod my head at him and he looks back at Mommy. He spits in her face and she tries to pull away but he’s holding her. He turns her around, shoves her face into the sofa, and pulls her dress up. He rips her panties and then hits her on her bottom. She cries out, but it’s different this time.
He unzips his pants…
“Tori.” I hear my name called from a distance, the fear wracks through my entire body causing me to shake.
“Tori, sweetheart, wake up,” I hear, the sound getting closer. A hand runs through my hair, and I wake up with a start. The dream was vivid; I could almost feel myself back there again. I must not have been more than four years old.
“Baby?”
My eyes focus on Nathan hovering over me, the look of concern on his face apparent.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I must have had a nightmare.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I place my hands on his chest and give a gentle shove silently asking him to let me up. He gives me what I want and I sit up averting my gaze to the window that welcomes the morning sun rays. Nathan places a hand on me, and I freeze momentarily, only to relax when he begins to rub my back.
“Does that happen a lot?”
“Eh, occasionally.”
“Looked pretty bad. You want to tell me about it?”
“I’d rather make breakfast. What are you in the mood for?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m easy to please.”
“How about you stay here and relax. I’ll make us some breakfast and bring it in here.”
“How can I say no to breakfast in bed?”
“Then let's go with that.”
“Okay, but then you’re going to tell me about your nightmare. You don’t have to give it all to me, but I want to know the basics.”
Not knowing how I feel about that, I choose not to say anything at all. When words fail me, I push off the bed and pick up the white silk robe strewn across my chaise lounge to pull on. The kitchen feels like a safer place to be right now as I search the contents of my refrigerator, pulling out eggs, bacon, cheese, onions, and tomatoes—perfect ingredients for an omelet. My mind lingers on the dream I had as I chop the vegetables. Thinking about my mother is never easy—the life she led, the things that she subjected me to. Things that a child should never see and those are the things that have molded me into this person who I sometimes don’t recognize when I look in the mirror.
No more bad memories, I tell myself as I begin whisking eggs. Instead, I let myself think about last night, about how Nathan… Well, it was an amazing night. I could easily find myself becoming addicted to him. In fact, I probably already am because I wouldn’t mind locking myself in the bedroom with him and staying holed up for days. That’s a new reaction to sex for me, which is ironic considering what in the hell I do for a living. I’ve made a fortune off sex and people's compulsions, and believe me, there are some sick fucking people out there.
It doesn’t take me long to prepare breakfast; omelets complete with bacon, toast, and orange juice. When I’m done, I set everything on a large tray and carefully carry it into the bedroom. Nathan is walking out of the bathroom with his phone in hand when I walk in.
“Hey, let me help you with that,” he says tossing his cell on the bed and rushing over to me. He grabs the tray from me, and I hop onto the bed, crossing my legs. He places the tray in the middle of the bed and sits down next to me.
“Important phone call in the bathroom?”
He chuckles. “No, it rang while I was brushing my teeth, and I ran in here and got it. I think I just secured another security gig.”
“That’s great.” I’m honestly excited for him. He seems to like what he does and that’s refreshing. “So business is good?”
“Business is good.” He takes his plate and digs in. “Mm, this is really good, babe. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” I smile, picking up my own plate.
“You going to tell me about your dream?”
“Not really, no.” I cover up my discomfort with a grin.
“I’m not trying to pry; I’m just worried about you.”
“My childhood was less than stellar, the first few years of my life anyway—once I went to live with my dad, things turned around.”
“Yeah, I noticed that you never mention your mother.”
“Ahh, my mother—let’s see, a drug-addicted prostitute with a lack of common sense and ability to shelter her child from the ugly world she used to live in.”
I see the sympathy in his eyes, and it makes me cringe.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you feel sorry for me. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you; you’re amazing, but it’s still sad.”
I nod in agreement because, really, it is sad; my mother’s situation is what motivated me to make that type of lifestyle safer for girls.
“So, what happened?”
“She and my father never married. They dated for a while, and they tried to stay together for me, but she was just too much for him to handle. She wasn’t happy with the life that he was trying to provide for us, so she left. She
took me with her and moved to some crappy town in northern Jersey.
“My father went to court and tried to get custody, but at the time, she must have had her act together because she was granted physical custody of me. He got me every other weekend.”
“Most judges don’t like to take babies away from their mothers.”
“No, I guess not, but even so, I remember living for those weekends with him. He always made it fun; it was all about me when I was with him. He didn’t neglect me or subject me to strange people around the house. Anyway, eventually, she fell into drugs, started wasting the money my dad would send for child support on it, and when she couldn’t make ends meet, she became a prostitute.”
“Fuck. Did anyone ever…”
“Touch me?” I know what he’s getting at, and the fact that I came out unscathed is a miracle. “No, if she did do one thing right, it was protecting me from her Johns. And trust me, one or two tried, but she always got them away from me. Usually, she’d tell me to go to my room and not come out, but I knew whatever was happening out of my room was bad.”
“How did you end up with your dad?”
“She left one day with a man. I remember him trying to talk to me, but she took me and put me in her room. She told me to stay in there until she left and told me she’d come back soon, but she never did. I was alone in that trailer for two days.”
“How old were you?”
“Four.”
He nods. “Do you really remember all that?”
“Yeah, my dad has filled in some of it, but I remember a lot, more than I should.”
“So, she overdosed? Is that why she didn’t come home?”
“She was murdered.”
“What?”
“One of the men she picked up slit her throat.” I shake my head in frustration. “I’m sorry; can we not talk about this anymore?”
“Of course, I didn’t mean to push you.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve just never really told anybody all this before.”