‘They’ll be right.’
‘Have fun.’
‘Thanks, will do.’
Damien went out and watched Lucy and Alice on the horses as they made their way south from the house followed by Sam the emu and Bob and Cara. Everyone looked calm and content enough. He picked up Squish, who was sitting dutifully beside him.
‘You’re a good, loyal friend,’ he said, kissing the dog on the forehead. ‘Thank you,’ he said, in response to the wet kiss he received in response. ‘Come on, we’ve got tiles and stuff to unload.’
Damien was putting boxes in the partially built house and carefully writing in thick black marker what was for what – laundry floor, laundry walls, bathroom floor, bathroom walls, etc – when he heard another vehicle pull up. He peered between the timber uprights through where the walls would one day be and his heart gave an extra beat. There was Geoff’s car – Geoff and another man were inside. He toyed with remaining hidden, until the men got out and began poking about the front of the house as if they belonged there. His blood started boiling. Thank goodness Lucy and Alice weren’t here. He strode out and around to where the men were.
‘Geoff, what can I do for you?’
‘Hi, Damien. I’ve brought Richard Brown from Stockman Real Estate to take a look around to do a valuation for our settlement. I’m sure your mother has told you we’ve separated. Well, we need to …’
Damien held his hand out to the man he didn’t know. No point being rude.
‘Well, you’ve made a wasted trip. Geoff, you’re not welcome here.’
‘Now, come on, Damien, we’ve always got along okay, haven’t we?’
‘Until I found out what a creep you are. I always thought you were a loser and my mother made a poor choice, but that was her business. But spying on and trying to touch up women – and women young enough to be your daughters – well, that’s just plain disgusting.’
The other guy was doing a lot of staring at the ground where his foot prodded the dirt. Damien felt for the bloke. He was clearly only trying to do some business. It was just a pity he’d got himself involved with Geoff. Damien gained some satisfaction in noting how red in the face and neck Geoff was.
‘I suggest you leave now. Sorry you’ve got caught up in this, Richard, but you’ve made a wasted trip. The farm is in my mother’s name and hers alone,’ he said, more for Richard’s benefit. ‘So you’re not going any further without showing me a written and signed request from her.’
‘But it’s a joint asset by law.’
‘That’s not my problem and nothing to do with me. Now, you’ve got five seconds to get back in that vehicle and leave before I call Bill Hanson.’
‘Yeah, I know how buddy-buddy you are with him. You’d better call him off, if you know what’s good for you.’
What? But Damien was distracted by Squish, who started up a deep growl that he’d never heard before and would have found quite unnerving if he didn’t know the dog so well.
Richard got straight back into the vehicle. Geoff hovered, looking at Squish as if trying to work out how serious the threat was. Damien got out his phone and made a show of scrolling through contacts. He had Bill’s mobile number and the station number in his list. Holding the phone up, he raised his eyebrows at Geoff.
‘All right, all right. I’m going,’ Geoff growled – though not nearly as impressively as Squish, Damien thought – and got into the car. ‘But don’t think you’ve heard the last of this.’
‘Make sure it’s in writing and signed by my mother, then,’ Damien said, forcing his tone to be cheery, and walked away with a wave of his hand. He kept an eye on them to make sure they were leaving.
Damien fumed. At Geoff, but also his mother. He found her mobile number in his contacts, selected it, and pushed the button to connect.
‘Damien, lovely to hear from you.’
Damien frowned at how upbeat she sounded. Had she been drinking? It wasn’t nine o’clock in the morning yet.
‘Mum, I’ve just had Geoff here with some real estate bloke to look over the farm. Did you know about this?’
‘Um, yes, it’ll have to be looked over sooner or later for valuing. I can’t see any other way around it. I’m sorry.’
‘You bloody well could have told me! I’m part of all this, in case you’ve forgotten – we’re meant to be business partners, even if it is only your name on the title.’
‘Look, I know you’re upset about Jacqueline …’
‘Did I mention Jacqueline just now? No! This isn’t about her. It’s time you stopped burying your head in the sand and dealt with a few things. Don’t you think you at least owe me a discussion about where things stand?’
‘I don’t know where things stand. I’m trying to …’
Damien was stunned to hear a male voice in the background: ‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were on the phone.’ Maybe Lucy was right and their mother really had met another man.
‘Fine, Mum, whatever. I get it, it’s none of my business. But if you want me to let Geoff or anyone else on the place then bloody well put it in writing!’ Damien slammed the phone shut, grateful to still have an old flip one that he could take out his frustration on. What the bloody hell was she playing at? Didn’t she care about losing the farm, about taking Damien’s future away? Jesus, how bloody self-centred could you get? And how could she be off having an affair, starting a new relationship, while everything was going to shit?
By the time he’d finished unloading the ute, Damien was feeling a little calmer, but he couldn’t shake the curiosity over what Geoff had said about calling off the cops. He felt a few cogs fall into place. Ethel had asked if he had Alice’s details. She’d clearly found her because she and Lucy were here together now. And the one thing that Lucy and Alice had in common, other than a love of horses, was that Geoff had been creepy towards them. Ethel must have gone to see Bill. But why now? He felt like there was something he was missing. Oh well, perhaps it was best he didn’t know. He had to forget it or else he’d send himself mad trying to nut it out. Maybe it was what it was and there was nothing more to nut out. He’d ask Ethel next time he saw her.
Meanwhile he was still pissed off with his mother. That clearly wasn’t going to be put aside so easily. What he’d said about the farm being none of his business hadn’t just come out through anger, it was what he felt, and it was the truth. His next move dawned on him like a slow-moving storm rolling in: it was time to cut the ties. This having to always be answerable, especially to someone as controlling as his mother, was not on. Sure, she’d been fine with his new venture, but he suspected she might be on her best behaviour and that it would only be a matter of time before she went back to her old ways.
And what if he got married? Would he be exposing his wife, no matter who it was, to God only knew what intrusion? His mother had always come and gone from the house with no regard for his privacy. It hadn’t bothered him too much – the fact she tended to tidy the place up while she was there outweighed the inconvenience of her just rocking up unannounced. If he lived there again, it would go back to how it had always been. And Tina couldn’t be told anything and she didn’t get hints. He was kidding himself if he thought she’d stop barging in even after he was married. It would always be her house, her farm, and she would always feel free to intrude whenever she liked.
Well, she could have it. She’d need somewhere to live if she ever came back. She could lease out the farm or make some share-cropping deal with someone. But he was done.
*
Damien drove down to where the new fence stood, its fresh-looking posts and shiny wire gleaming in the sunlight. He got out and ran his hands along it and took a whiff of the earthy timber. He almost laughed at how he must look – like someone admiring a piece of art or a prized possession. To him, this fence was both of these things. He’d never had a whole new fence before; parts had always been recycled, reused or purchased second-hand at clearing sales, and fences as a whole were rarely replaced. Mo
ney had always been tight. And his dad had been the king of innovation, recycling and making do. While Damien had admired him, respected his frugality, he’d also always envied their richer neighbours with their bright new fences and flasher, more reliable equipment. He felt a little guilty and disrespectful towards his father now for admiring this fence so much. But, man, it was a beautiful work of art. And, better yet, it hadn’t been his blood, sweat and tears that had put it here. He laughed out loud as Squish and Bob chose a post each to christen with pee.
‘Nice one, boys!’
He chained the two kelpies back into the tray and got in the ute to drive home. He detoured to the rise above the gully where the family of kangaroos liked to congregate. He got out the binoculars and panned around. They all looked the same. If the young buck he’d saved was there, he could no longer pick him out. Good for the roo, a little sad for Damien.
At that moment a roo on the far edge of the group turned and bounded a few metres towards him, stopped and rubbed its face with its paws. Was that the young buck giving him a sign? He’d take it as such. He smiled and waved. There was no one to tell him otherwise.
He put the vehicle back in gear to return to the van. But at the track home he found himself turning right instead of left and heading out to his block.
Damien parked in the gateway that joined his land with their original place – what he was now thinking of as his mother’s farm. He looked around, his gaze settling on the group of magnificent native pines way down at the boundary beside the road. They were quite superb, even from this far away. And a hell of a lot nicer than all the charred remains back at home. It was as if he was seeing them, appreciating them, for the first time. He’d driven over this land plenty of times in his ute, moving sheep, and in the tractor, sowing, spraying and harvesting crops. But the land was bought purely to increase their acreage, to make their business more viable. It had some of the heaviest, best dirt, but it was the fact it was for sale at a reasonable price and joined their land that had sealed the deal. Other than a super shed, it was bare.
Over near the trees was a bit of a rise that might make a good site for a house, if one was so inclined. It wouldn’t have the far-off view of the ocean that his dad’s had, but the patchwork of farmland and scrub was picturesque, and the blue of the distant hills and mountain ranges was quite beautiful. Perhaps that was the reason someone had planted the pines. And they’d definitely been planted – they were in nice straight rows. He’d never considered the place for its aesthetics.
He drove down to the trees and parked. The super shed was far enough away to not be a blight. There was no reason why this couldn’t be a nice spot for a house. Except for all the extra distance on dirt roads to get to town. Damien frowned. That was the fly in the ointment. And it was a big fly. He sat there feeling deflated and not even sure why. And then something started tugging at his brain, like the thread of a memory he couldn’t quite grasp.
Something about a boundary? Or perhaps it was just the disappointment that the boundary was so far away from anything. It wouldn’t work – he couldn’t be driving that far to town. And it was all dirt roads. Damien knew he was probably being spoilt, but he knew he’d resent the travelling. There was no point going any further. Oh well, he’d at least considered it as an option. Time to head back, though he figured he may as well go right around and check on the whole place while he was over here.
He headed east towards the small paddock surrounded on all sides by scrub, with just a gap to enter. He only tended to venture into it to check for sheep during muster. It was cleared but was too small for him to be bothered putting the tractor in to crop it. What you wanted was big open spaces for cropping and enough areas of shelter for stock. This was a pain – a waste of twenty acres of good soil. The effort and cost to clear it and add it to the adjoining paddock wouldn’t have been worth it. But now he was looking at things through different eyes, looking for different areas of potential, he could see how much of an asset this small, secluded paddock could be to a few horses, donkeys, or even camels – whatever needed a home. He could easily have solar-powered electric fencing installed to keep stock from getting near the barbed wire.
He drove on along the boundary and up onto the next rise, where he stopped to take in his surroundings, get his bearings. He was so rarely over here that he now felt a little disoriented. He looked around. Before the fire, he would have been able to see the top of his big implement shed. But it had definitely been over there to his right, because he could see the line of Stobie poles. He looked to his left. Two paddocks intersected with his on the other side of the fence. One was the northern boundary to the piece of land the Havelocks had bought.
His heart rate quickened. If Jacqueline’s parents let him put a track through here to the council road – put in an easement – he’d only be a kilometre from his current driveway. And the old cottage was on the other side of the scrub, so they’d still have their privacy.
Damien’s dad had fought all those years to get his road in from the bitumen. He’d wanted it to go right past his place, through what was now Damien’s block, and join up with the back road – to make carting grain easier for all those out that way. Maybe Damien could go some way towards making that dream of his come true too …
No, hang on. He didn’t want grain trucks rumbling too close to his home. His own private track to meet up with the end of the current council road and get straight out to the bitumen highway would be enough. God, it might actually work in Esperance’s favour to have two entrances, he suddenly realised. It would be like serving two sides of the district without people having to drive so far. God, why could everyone else see it and he couldn’t? If he could get the council to start grading and taking care of the five hundred metres of road beyond his current driveway that ran alongside Tina’s boundary and put down five hundred or so metres himself, he’d be set.
He turned the ute around and headed back the way he’d come. His brain was firing with creativity and his pulse was racing with excitement. He pulled up on the rise facing north and took in the view. Then he got out and faced west and took in that view. He did the same for the remaining two directions and all the angles in between, taking careful note of what he could see, where the prevailing wind would travel in each season. When he’d finished, he sat in quiet contemplation.
And then another thought struck him like he’d been hit over the head with a sledge hammer: it didn’t matter where he put his house. There was no power, no power lines to take into account – he could stay off-grid. There was water laid on to the paddocks, but not near here. He should be able to be self-sufficient with that too by collecting enough rainwater off the roof, and cart some if not.
Just like all those weeks ago, when he’d realised his destiny lay in Esperance, Damien buzzed with the slightly overwhelming feeling that the world really was his oyster. He ran his hand rhythmically along Squish’s belly. He heard the metallic rattle of the big dogs’ chains hitting the tray as they settled down for a snooze. He stared out through the bug-speckled windscreen framed in dirt. His brain raced a mile a minute, but he felt calm. He’d build his own house here on his land, cut the apron strings for good. His dad had always wanted to build a mudbrick house. He’d also toyed with straw bales. But back then it hadn’t been done often and involved too much trial and error. Now it was a completely different story.
But maybe having a transportable arrive on a truck was a damned sight easier. Or one of those two-storey weatherboard or corrugated iron houses with the garage underneath could be the go. The view might be quite spectacular from another level up.
As for income, he’d get a contractor to crop what he could here, run some sheep himself, and make up any shortfall with working for other farmers during the busy times. He was licensed to drive semi-trailers, so he could even do some truck driving to make ends meet if necessary.
Damien was surprised at how little the thought of getting work away from his property bothered him. He’
d heard of other farmers doing it, but he’d always seen it as a sign of failure, total humiliation, and admitting defeat. No doubt he’d got that view from his judgemental mother as well. While she was all about impressions, now he could see that life was more about whatever it took to keep your dream afloat. Some things were worth doing and some compromises worth making. With or without Jacqueline, he was going to do this. He had to. He hoped Tina wouldn’t get her nose out of joint and withhold the proceeds of their partnership, including the insurance money. But if she did, he’d find a way around it. He’d heard about a farmer’s son suing his parents for unpaid wages. He didn’t think he’d go down that path, but if his mother did get difficult he’d damn well fight for himself and his future.
He took a deep, slightly tentative breath to see how his decision felt. He was calm and rational, driven. And the longer he stayed here, the more he liked the feel of the place, especially the whisper of the wind through the pine trees. He dragged the pad of paper from the dash and began drawing a rough map of where everything was, marking up plans for his future.
Damien became engrossed in shifting between his hand-drawn map, which had on it what he wanted and where, and his to-do list. He needed to get his priorities right and just focus on the crucial things for now. Moving himself was fine, easy – he just had to hook the van to the ute – but to move the animals he needed enclosures down here. He’d decided that south of the house was best. That way the hot north winds would blow any odours and dust away.
It actually felt quite good to be starting over, though he did feel a little guilty that the working bee would essentially be rendered a waste of time. But he couldn’t worry about that. He had a blank canvas on which to work and would think it all through carefully before doing anything permanent.
Damien was startled when his phone started vibrating and ringing on the dash, very loud in the silent cab.
Standing Strong Page 29