Angling herself in the seat to see him better, she offered him a chance to explain. “No groveling required. Just lay it all out there and tell me how I can help.”
He leaned his head back against the headrest and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “Look, my temper is pretty unpredictable these days, especially when it comes to my leg. I get that people are only trying to help, but all that attention gets old pretty damn quick. I’m not helpless.”
Leif shot a quick glance in her direction but then looked away again. “Hell, somehow even my hard-ass sergeant has turned into an effing nursemaid. I swear Nick constantly frets about what I eat, how much I sleep, if I’ve taken my pills or if I take too many. He wants to do my laundry for me and hates me doing anything more strenuous than washing the dishes.”
He paused to pound his fist softly on the steering wheel. “Earlier tonight, when I was leaving, the big jerk chased me all the way to my truck, wanting to come with me. It was like he thought I couldn’t even find my way into town and back, much less eat a meal on my own.”
All of that came out on one breath as if he’d been piling up all those words and all that frustration until the dam finally broke. It was probably a relief to get it all out. She chose her next words carefully.
“I know it’s hard, Leif, and you’ve got a lot going on right now. Have you told Nick how you feel about all the fussing?”
Leif drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not in so many words, because I know a large part of it is due to the fact that he holds himself responsible for what happened to me and our friend Spence. That’s bullshit, but there’s no convincing him any different. Nick was in charge that day, and Spence died on his watch. There’s no changing that, but it doesn’t mean Nick was at fault. That honor belongs to the bastards who planted the IED and then lobbed in a couple of mortars just for grins.”
Then he patted his injured leg. “It doesn’t help that every time he sees me limping or downing a pill, it all comes rushing back. I don’t have the heart to tear him a new one for trying to make it up to me. Then there’s the fact that if he had helped Spence first, I would’ve been the one to die. We’re both sort of feeling our way through all of this.”
Zoe couldn’t resist the need to connect with him in some small way. She put her hand on his arm and said, “Yeah, I get that, Leif. In some ways it’s harder on our loved ones when they see us hurting and can’t wave a magic wand to make the pain go away. Even so, bottling it all up inside and not telling him how you feel isn’t helping either one of you.”
“Yeah, I know. On the other hand, he’ll be leaving in a few days, so it won’t be a problem, at least not until he gets back. By then, I’ll be back to walking normally again.”
Well, the jury was still out on that last part, but she wasn’t about to point it out right now. When she’d first touched his arm, the muscles had been rock hard. Some of the tension had eased now.
“If you find yourself needing to talk about this stuff, I’m always available, Leif. There’s also a support group of veterans that meets at the church. They’re a great bunch of guys and always welcome new members. Several of my other patients have found it helpful to talk to them.”
Leif nodded, but it was impossible to tell if he was open to the suggestion. She understood that. She had no interest in joining the group herself, despite Jack Haliday’s best efforts to coax her into giving it a try. Finally, Leif turned the key in the ignition. “Thanks for listening, and I am sorry that I took my frustrations out on you.”
Zoe let her hand drop back down to her side. “That’s why they pay me the big bucks, Corporal.”
Although it wasn’t her job credentials that had her wanting to wrap this man in her arms and hold the rest of the world at bay. Calling him by his rank helped put some of that professional distance back in place. Barely.
He put the truck in gear and pulled away from the curb. “Which way?”
Clearly he was done talking, so she gave him directions and waited in silence until they reached her apartment.
• • •
Damn, he wished Zoe’s place was a lot farther away than six measly blocks. Going to the bar by himself no longer held much appeal, but he wasn’t ready to go back to Spence’s house either.
He studied the cedar-sided building. “Looks like a nice place. Which one is yours?”
Zoe had been about to open her door, but she stopped when he spoke. “I’m on the second floor. It’s nothing fancy, but there aren’t a lot of rentals here in town. Eventually, I’ll get around to buying a house of my own. I wanted to make sure I liked living back here in Snowberry Creek before making a commitment of that magnitude.”
Leif knew all about the reluctance to set down roots too quickly or too deeply. It was easier to move on to the next duty station if he wasn’t leaving anything special behind. He thought about all the people he’d met and grown fond of here in Snowberry Creek: Zoe, Isaac, Gage Logan and his daughter, Bridey, and Clarence Reed. Clearly he’d already made connections that would make it harder to leave when the time came.
“Yeah, I get that. That’s why I’m staying at Spence Lang’s place with Nick. It’s only temporary, until my leg gets back to full strength. Then it’s up to the army where I’ll be living.”
He paused to stare up at the night sky. “It will sure be weird to be deployed again without Spence or Nick. Not sure if I like that idea at all.”
“Yeah, leaving friends behind is definitely the downside of military life.”
Something in her voice made him think that whoever it was she’d left behind had been more important to her than just a friend. But when she didn’t offer up any more details, he didn’t ask. Zoe was entitled to her privacy, and sharing hamburgers and banana cream pie in a small-town diner didn’t entitle him to her life story.
She was reaching for the door handle again. Letting her go would be the smart thing, but he wasn’t feeling all that bright. He opened his door and climbed out too quickly for her to try to stop him.
“There’s no need to see me to the door, Leif.”
Okay, so that eliminated any chance of being invited in for a drink. He wouldn’t push it, but neither was he ready to give up completely.
“My mother taught me to always see a lady to her door.”
He almost pulled it off with a straight face, but Zoe wasn’t buying what he was selling. “Oh, brother. Tell me, does that line usually work for you?”
He gave up and laughed. “Considering that’s the first time I’ve used it, I’d have to say no.”
That didn’t keep him from following her to the bottom of the stairs that led up to the second floor. Damn it, no elevator. Well, there was no way he was going to attempt that many steps after the day he’d had.
Zoe knew it too, so there was no use in pretending anything different. He managed a small smile. “I guess Mom will have to be satisfied with me escorting you this far.”
Zoe followed his lead and kept it light. “If you need a note for her, let me know.”
“Will do.”
He seemed to have run out of steam, caught between saying good night and wanting to stretch out the evening for a few minutes more. At least Zoe seemed to be stuck in the same spot with him.
Feeling a little daring, he tucked a tendril of her dark hair back behind her ear. “Thanks again for letting me join you for dinner. I enjoyed myself.”
“So did I.”
“Well, except maybe for when I was being a jerk.”
Her full lips quirked up in a teasing smile. “Yeah, except for that.”
He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from her mouth. Was it as soft and kissable as he imagined? Was she swaying toward him or was that his wayward mind seeing what it wanted to see? Only one way to find out.
“I probably shouldn’t do this.”
“Do what?”
Her words sounded breathy, and he was pretty sure that her pulse was racing as fast as his was. Being a man
of action, he answered her not with words but with the softest of kisses. A mere brushing of his lips across hers. Friendly, nothing over the top. When she didn’t immediately pull back, he did it again, ramping up the intensity enough to satisfy a little of his curiosity without scaring her off.
Damn, he wanted more, but this wasn’t the time or the place. And he knew it. He backed off slowly, trying to make sure she felt his regret.
“Good night, Zoe. And thanks again.”
She retreated to the safety of the steps. “You’re welcome. Maybe I’ll see you at the clinic next week when you come in for therapy.”
Even if he understood why, he hated that she was already morphing back into his nurse practitioner. “I’ll be there.”
When she started up the stairs, he walked back to his truck, doing his best not to limp in case she was watching. When he finally looked, she had already disappeared inside. He drove back to the main drag through town and sat at the stop sign to consider his options.
Did he still want to check out BEER and see if anyone wanted to play pool? Somehow the whole idea had lost its appeal. Maybe he should have asked Zoe if she’d like to go with him, but he hadn’t wanted to risk putting her in the awkward position of having to turn him down.
Okay, decision made. He headed back toward Spence’s house. He’d take a shower and a pill, and then crawl into bed.
Alone. Damn.
Chapter 9
Leif could barely watch this. It hurt like hell seeing the Sarge back in uniform and packing up to leave at this ungodly hour of the morning. Nick had gotten a clean bill of health from the medics on the shrapnel damage to his upper arm, so there was nothing to prevent him from returning to active duty.
Leif would give anything to be going with or, better yet, instead of Nick. After all, the sergeant had already made up his mind that his military service would end with this current enlistment a few weeks from now. He’d already started building a post-army life with Callie right here in Snowberry Creek.
Nick tucked the last of his kit in his duffel bag and zipped it shut. “Well, that’s everything, I guess.”
“Not quite.”
Leif tossed a small package to Nick, who caught it with his usual quick reflexes. He gave the gaudily wrapped package a suspicious look.
“Aw, Leif, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t have.”
Leif figured Nick might just be right about that. There was no way to know for sure until his friend opened the box. “It’s nothing big, Sarge. Just something I thought you might like.”
“No, I meant exactly what I said, Leif. You shouldn’t have.” Nick pulled the pink bow off the package and tossed it straight back at Leif. “I don’t do pink.”
Leif shoved the bow in his pocket just in case he got the chance to slip it back in Nick’s luggage. “I could claim it was the only color I could find, but that would be a lie.”
His friend gave him one more narrow-eyed look before tearing into the wrapping paper. When he finally opened the box, all traces of trepidation disappeared. He unfolded the trifold picture frame and stared down at the photos it contained. His mouth quirked up in a sad smile as he ran his fingers across the glass in the frame.
When he looked up, his eyes had a suspiciously bright sheen to them, not that Leif would point that out. He’d felt the same way as he’d slipped the photos into place. The picture in the middle was one Leif had taken last week when he’d caught Nick and Callie holding hands out by the gazebo. The one on the left was Mooch sitting on the front porch steps with Callie.
He’d known without a doubt that Nick would appreciate having those two pictures to take with him. It was the third one he wasn’t so sure about, but finally he’d gone with his gut reaction and included it. A friend had snapped it back in Afghanistan right after their squad had won a basketball game against a bunch of marines.
Spence had made the winning free throw and the three of them were high-fiving in celebration. There’d been few really happy moments during that deployment, but that had been one of the best.
Nick jerked his head in a quick nod as he carefully folded the picture frame and stowed it safely back in its box. He unzipped the duffel and wrapped one of his shirts around the small package to give it some extra protection. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Had Leif guessed wrong about the whole picture thing?
But as soon as Nick finished zipping the duffel closed again, he headed straight for Leif and gave him an awkward man hug. It was the kind of emotional moment neither of them was ever really comfortable with, but Leif figured they both needed once in a while. Leif hugged him in return and then stepped back.
Nick finally spoke as he snagged his duffel and headed for the door. “I’ve got to tell you, I hate like hell to be leaving right now.”
Leif let his friend lead the way down the steps. “We’ll be here when you get back.”
Mooch joined the party, acting pretty subdued, as if he sensed what was happening and wasn’t sure what to do about it. “Mooch and I will watch over the house and Callie for you.”
Nick stopped to look around the house. “As soon as I get back, we’ll really get to work on this place.”
“That’s the plan.”
Leif wasn’t sure about how helpful he’d be for all the remodeling Callie and Nick had in mind, but he’d give it his best shot for as long as he was still in town.
Nick was still talking. “And I also appreciate that you’re going to Austin Locke’s hearing with Callie. I wouldn’t want her to have to face him and his father by herself.”
“That’s for damn sure.”
Spence’s younger cousin, Austin, had broken into the house that Spence had bequeathed to Callie several times in order to steal valuables he could sell for cash. The punk and his old man thought Spence should have left his home to them despite how Vince had treated Spence when he was a kid. They didn’t see what Austin had done as robbery, but as reclaiming back a little of their own. Unfortunately, only Austin would be getting some jail time. As far as Leif and Nick were both concerned, Spence’s uncle, Vince Locke, should be going with him.
It was time to go. Leif followed Nick out onto the porch, where Callie was waiting. Leif limped down the steps to her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ride along with you?”
She immediately wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick squeeze. What was up with all this hugging today? He wouldn’t complain, though. It was going to be hard on both of them while Nick was away.
“I’ll be fine. Besides, you’ve got your therapy appointment this morning.”
True, he did. This was a long one, too. He was scheduled to start off the morning with Isaac before meeting with Zoe. It would be the first time they would be alone since their chance meeting at the Creek Café almost two weeks ago. He’d seen her from a distance a couple of times, but that was all.
Not all of the knots in his gut this morning were because of Nick leaving. Was Zoe actively avoiding him or was she just really busy? He wished he knew. He guessed he’d know more by how she acted when he saw her.
“I could still blow off the appointment if you needed me, Callie.”
She rose up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I know, but there’s no point in you missing your therapy. Nick’s already made me promise to just drop him off out front at the airport. It’s not like I can hang out at the gate with him until he has to board, anyway.”
Nick had been busy saying good-bye to Mooch. He wiped his face on his sleeve. “Damn, dog, now I’m covered in slobber.”
Callie chided him. “Doggie kisses are not the same as slobber.”
He snorted. “Feels the same to me. Guess we should hit the road.”
When Mooch tried to jump into the cab of Nick’s truck, Leif caught him by the collar and pulled him back toward the porch. The dog sounded pitiful as he whined and tried to break free of Leif’s grasp. How did he know that Nick was going farther than just to town and back? Did he realize what was up because of Nick�
��s duffel? Maybe he was sensing everyone’s ramped-up emotions.
“Settle down, Mooch. I don’t like watching him leave either, but soldiers like us can handle anything.”
Evidently his words got through to the dog, because Mooch immediately relaxed and leaned against Leif. He sat and scratched the dog’s head for several minutes. Although he’d never admit it in a million years, he needed the comfort as much as Mooch did.
But enough was enough. He pushed himself back up to his feet. “Come on, Mooch. Let’s have some breakfast. I’m going to need all my strength to get through the day.”
As usual, his four-footed companion brightened up at the mention of any word that referred to food. Considering that the dog had spent most of his life half-starved and living on the streets, Leif didn’t blame him.
As he opened the screen door, Leif gave Mooch a hard look. “Stay out from under my feet while I’m cooking, dog, and I might even share my bacon with you.”
Mooch yipped his acceptance of the terms and bolted straight for the kitchen.
Chapter 10
Zoe picked up her keys and headed outside for some fresh air. It was well past her usual bedtime, but despite being tired to the bone, she was far too restless to settle in for the night. It had been a long day at work, and she’d been unable to shed the stress since walking out of her office. Looking back over the day, she realized that all but one of her appointments had been routine, not a bad average.
But that one had been a doozy. Isaac had shot her an e-mail with a copy of his report on Leif’s progress attached only minutes before the corporal had limped his way down the hall to her office. She’d barely had time to assimilate the content before having to explain it all to Leif.
The good news was that he was making progress. The bad news was he was hoping for a miracle cure, and there wasn’t one. Not for the kind of damage his leg had sustained. She knew better than to remind him he was lucky to have a leg at all. He wouldn’t see the bright side of anything unless it was a full recovery with no residual damage.
More Than a Touch: A Snowberry Creek Novel Page 9