by Sumida, Amy
“Yeah but I'm with Trevor, who he almost killed by kidnapping me, I might add,” I started to pile my clothes on the counter, even though check-out had almost stilled to a stop because the salesgirl was gaping at my ex-jailor/torturer/lover, the God of the Dead.
“Vervain,” his rich scent snaked around me and swept through my head, like thick incense smoke. The gold flashed again, thick tubular beads strung through his glossy, obsidian hair; they clicked when he moved. I tried to ignore the ache his voice started low in my belly. Oh, my lioness magic liked him, even though she'd been repressed by him for over a month. I think she respected his dominating nature. Damn females, always falling for the bad boys.
The lioness I could deal with though. The thing that really threw me for a loop was my love magic. The butterflies rose up inside me like the tide, almost spilling out of me in their haste to reach Anubis. What the hell? They'd never behaved like this around him before. When had Anubis become worthy of Love?
“Anubis,” I concentrated on moving things from my cart to the counter, “what are you doing here?”
“Shopping for new shoes,” he grimaced as he smoothed his immaculate black silk shirt. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m looking for you. Do you know how hard it is to find you out without an escort? They never leave you alone.”
“Well here I am,” I gave the salesgirl a look that stated clearly, I wasn’t in the mood for her type of delay, and she started ringing me up… with quick glances at Anubis in between beeps. “But as you can see, I’m not alone. This is Krystal, Krystal meet Anubis.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Anubis turned the full weight of his black eyes on her and I was thankful she had the cart to lean on. At least they weren't shimmering with colors like they usually were. I don't think the oil-slick effect over Anubis' eyes would have gone over well with regular humans.
“Pleasure, definitely,” Krystal mumbled as she slumped forward into her pile of clothing.
“That’s two-hundred, fifty-six dollars, and forty cents,” the salesgirl intoned while she stared at the small bit of sleek chest exposed by the top of Anubis' shirt.
Anubis pulled a few bills out of a pocket and handed them over before I could even get my purse open.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I tried to whack his hand away but it was like hitting rebar. “Don’t take that,” I said to the girl.
“You accepted gifts from me while we were together,” Anubis' eyes started to swirl. “You even accepted them back after you left me.” He turned down the swirling colors and turned up the charm, as he looked over to the salesgirl. “Take the money, miss and you keep the change.” Then he smiled and winked at her. She didn’t stand a chance.
The money was in the register, the change in her pocket, and her eyes glazed over in less than three seconds flat. He took all the packages… in one hand, and nudged me forward, so Krystal could pay for her purchases.
“Could I take you ladies out for lunch? He smiled at Krystal first, the bastard, so my polite “No, thank you,” was overruled by Krystal’s enthusiastic “Absolutely”.
“Anubis,” I groaned, “this is such a bad idea. Trevor is spitting mad already. Thor made it clear he has intentions toward getting me back and Trevor went to Odin to get him to intercede. I don't think he can handle you getting into the picture right now.”
“As if Odin could make Thor stop chasing you,” Anubis chuckled softly and once again had all the female attention in the room. “Nothing will stop me from my pursuit, I doubt if the Thunderer is any different.”
“We’ll meet you outside, Krystal.” I took Anubis' bicep in hand and dragged him out the door. A cacophony of sighs followed us out.
“Where would you like to go for lunch?” Anubis blasted me with his smile and when my jaw went slack, I realized there was more to him than his usual good looks.
“What have you done?” I narrowed my eyes on him and poked him in his perfectly tanned chest.
“What are you talking about?” He swallowed hard.
“You’re enhancing your looks with magic!” I stepped back, the better to glare at him. It’s hard to glare at a tall man when you’re only five-three… and a half.
“Shhh, Miw-sher,” he led me over to a white cement bench, “you’re attracting attention.”
“Like you, in all your magically delicious glory, aren’t?” I gestured to the store. “You almost caused a riot in there.” He just smiled smugly. “This is not funny! What's wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?” The glamor cleared a little, in the wake of his rising temper, and I was able to look on him fully without wanting to rip his clothes off. “I’m in love with you. That is my one and only problem… you.”
“Well just keep talking the sweet talk,” I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you can win me over.”
“Godhunter, you can be so cruel.” He waved a hand over himself and the glamor vanished completely, leaving a god that was still way too gorgeous to be walking around among humans... or at least around me. “I know I deserve it but can't you find a little compassion in your heart for me? You said you forgave me. Give me a chance to make things right.”
“I did forgive you,” I sighed and slumped. “But forgiveness doesn't change everything, it doesn't wipe the slate clean. I don't think you understand what real love is yet or how to even go about making things right.”
“Real love,” he inhaled sharply and shook his head. “And because you hold the love magic now, you think you know what real love is?”
“No,” I closed my eyes for a second, trying to find some calm. I just had to find my happy place. “I don't know all about love but I do know love means wanting the other person to be happy, wanting the best for them.”
“Yes, of course,” he clenched his fists and then opened them to stare at his palms like they held the answer to his problems. “But aren't there many forms of love? I don't think love should be about letting something go or sacrificing your happiness to make someone else happy. I believe it's about trying even when the task seems impossible, about holding on even though the entire world is pulling you and your lover apart. I think it's risk, the risk that they may not love you as much as you love them. It's fire, burning but purifying, making both of you better for having survived it. I believe it's about compromise, to find the middle ground where two people can be together and still separate, be in love but still love themselves. I know this is love because it's what I feel, what I want, and what I'd do to be with you. What I'm not going to do, is give up just because you ask it of me.”
“Wow,” I breathed.
All this time I'd thought Anubis loved selfishly. His actions said that clearly to me. But then things were so confusing when I'd been with him. I was focused on Trevor and his needs. The possibility of my wolf dying took precedence over everything else and the few times it didn't, I felt horribly guilty about. I resented every effort Anubis had made because I knew it was toward an end result of me being separated from Trevor.
Yet at the same time, I understood him. I saw the loneliness that motivated him and the honor that was in him so deep, it practically permeated his very bones. I know Anubis had been horrible, selfish, and even childish but I was the first woman he had ever loved. He was centuries old and I was his first. When I thought back to my first love, I remembered acting just as selfishly, just as immaturely. Don't we all when we're shown love for the first time?
I think it's human nature to grasp onto love, to try to hold it with both hands, even if it bites and kicks to get away. It's just such a wonderful, transcending feeling, it's hard to believe that it can ever be replicated. We just can't imagine that we can ever love that way again. In fact, in the midst of that first love, most of us think no one has ever loved as we do. So who wouldn't fight with every weapon they had to keep that feeling, knowing with the surety of youth, that we shall never have it again?
It's not till later that we learn love is not finite, that it comes again and again
into our life as long as we keep ourselves open to it. It's not a singular miracle but a series of them. It's only by experiencing this series that we begin to understand how love needs to be treated. After we go through the heartaches needed to grow, we learn that love must be respected, nurtured, and given freedom to blossom. All things considered, Anubis had matured a lot in a very short time.
“I know about your new magic,” he whispered as he took my hand and kissed a spot he knew made my blood race. “You can take multiple lovers now. I'm willing to share you. Maybe we can have something like Persephone and Hades had. You could come and live in the Underworld for a few months of the year.”
“Anubis, I don't have absolute say over who becomes my next lover,” I rubbed at the headache building behind my left eye. “Trevor, as my alpha, does. In case you have any doubts, Trevor will never approve of you. I think the only man he likes less than you is Thor.”
“Miw-sher,” his face crumpled. “It doesn’t have to be like this. Trevor doesn’t even have to know.”
“You want me to cheat on Trevor?” My voice raised an octave higher than I knew it could go.
“Uh, should I take a walk?” Krystal was standing in front of us and neither one of us had noticed.
“No,” I cleared my throat, “we’re fine.” I got up and Anubis followed.
“Lunch, ladies?” The intensity was gone from his voice but not his eyes. “How about Mexican?”
Chapter Six
Five margaritas, six shots of tequila, and two plates of taquitos later, I was forgetting all the reasons why adding Anubis to my list of lovers was a bad idea, or an impossible one. All I could seem to think about was how wonderful the sex had been. How honorable he could be, how romantic.
It didn’t help that Krystal’s honey-streaked, brown locks looked amazing next to Anubis' sin black hair and that they looked like more of a couple than we ever would. It shouldn’t bother me and it didn’t, it bothered the five margaritas swimming in my belly. Or maybe it was the shots of tequila. I had drunk enough alcohol that even the super healing ability of my recent drink from the Grayel, couldn't sober me. I frowned over my enchilada at Anubis, as I slipped down further into the vinyl seat. Sque-e-a-ak.
“So what’s up with you two?” Krystal tore her eyes from Anubis for a second.
“I want her back,” Anubis shrugged and leaned infinitesimally closer to my chair at our conveniently round table. “I’m willing to share her but her other men are intimidated by me.”
“Share her?” Krystal choked on her taquito, “Other men? What the hell is he talking about?”
“I've had some developments with the lioness magic,” I glared at Anubis until he gave me a twisted grin. “I'll explain it all later but basically I need more than one man. Trevor's the first though, my alpha, and he gets the final say on who I add. He won't approve Anubis, ever. Trevor just can't forgive him for what he did. Besides,” I slurred as I sat up in a drunken lunge, “we were never a couple. You abducted me, that's not a relationship, it's a crime.”
“Developments?” Krystal's eyes were big over the rim of her glass.
“Not for a god,” he waved his hand in irritation. “You said you forgave me but you keep bringing up my mistakes. I don't think you truly have. Why can't you forgive me, Miw-sher? I am truly sorry for the way I treated you. Please tell me you know that.”
“Miw-sher?” Krystal looked like she was trying really hard to follow the conversation.
“It means kitten,” I glanced at her and then back at Anubis. “I know you're sorry. I get it, you're forgiven but that doesn't transform what happened into a relationship. Call a spade a spade, you abducted me.”
“In what language?” Krystal interjected.
“Huh?” I was a little foggy with alcohol.
“Miw-sher means kitten in what language?”
“Oh, Egyptian,” I shook my head.
“Of course,” she laughed. “Anubis, right, should have known.”
“Fine,” Anubis flowed right back into our conversation. “It's a spade. We didn't have a relationship like a normal couple but we did have a relationship and I did have you. Now I want you back.”
“Well, Trevor won't agree to it,” I glared at him, “and I'm not going to sneak around behind his back.”
“Vervain is very loyal,” Krystal nodded sagely and pushed up her glasses. I wanted to hug her. “You’ll have to steal her away completely.” I wanted to slap her.
“Shut up, Krystal,” I transferred my glare to her. “Check please,” I waved to the waitress.
“I got it,” Anubis handed the waitress another of his endless bills and told her to keep the change. Her eyes lit up, almost as bright as they did when he first walked in.
“Thanks,” I stumbled to my feet and he caught me by the arm.
“You better let me drive you home,” he picked me up and started out the door.
“Damn it, Anubis,” I smacked at him ineffectively, “put me down.”
“I’ll put you down when I get to the car,” he kept going, while Krystal trailed us.
“Just sit me on a bench until I sober up,” I hit him again. “It won't take too long. Besides, I can’t have you driving me home drunk, it’ll start a war.”
“Not an issue,” he kept heading toward my Jag. “I’ll drive you home and trace out from the car. No one will even know I’d been there.”
“Krystal,” I called over my shoulder.
“I’m fine, sweetie,” she waved to her little sports car. “I only had one. You guys go ahead.”
“It was nice to meet you, Krystal,” Anubis called back as he tucked me into the passenger seat.
“Same here, sweet-cheeks,” she called as she roared away.
Then I saw the tinted windows of the car parked behind hers. They were very dark, probably illegal in Hawaii, but that wasn't what made me pause. It was the darkened windshield. Who tints their windshield? There was only one other car I'd seen like it and it had a vampire in it. I frowned at it, having the strangest feeling of being stared at through that dark glass.
Blue was the God of Vampires and when we'd been at odds, I understood why he might want me trailed but we'd made up since then. Why was he still having me followed? My inebriated mind couldn't even focus properly on the problem.
“I like your friend,” Anubis chuckled as he closed my door, cutting off my train of thought.
“Fabulous,” I grinned at him when he opened the driver's door. “She's single, go hook up with her.”
“There's only one woman who's been able to awaken Death,” he looked so lost, my heart faltered and the butterflies swirled around it. “I'll be happy with none other.”
“You can be,” I sighed. “It just seems like I'm the only one, right now.”
“You are the only one.”
He climbed in the driver’s side and looked over at me. His eyes were swirling with jewel tones, and I swallowed uncomfortably to see them. It had been months since I'd seen those colors and there, in the privacy of my car and under the influence of a lot of alcohol, I could finally admit to missing them.
Anubis had done horrible things to me. The thought of a relationship with him should not only have been impossible, it should have been horrifying. Unfortunately, it wasn't. The problem was, I'd had a glimpse into his head. A small look really but it was enough to show me what kind of man he was. He was a man worth loving, worth saving, as my love magic was making known.
“Do you even know how to drive?” I asked to break the tension.
“How hard can it be?” He gave me a one-sided grin, obviously messing with me, and I surprised myself by laughing. He joined me, our laughter mingling with an ease our bodies had never known. It was a first for us. I'd made him laugh before but we'd never laughed together and it did something that none of his seductions could ever have achieved, it made me lower my guard.
I found myself leaning in towards him, almost as if I was back in Duat and my body wasn't mine to
control. He met me halfway, sliding his arms around me hesitantly. I think it was the first time he'd ever touched me without supreme confidence and it lowered my walls even further.
The kiss was soft at first, then a jolt seemed to go through us both and it became almost crazed, with roving hands and deep moans. It was not something I should have been sharing with Anubis. As if I didn’t have enough trouble with men, adding him to the mix would only result in heartache. I broke through my drunken haze long enough to remember that this man wasn’t mine. In fact, he was about as far away from being mine, as he could get, and I definitely wasn't his.
“I’m really sorry,” I panted as I pushed out of his frantic embrace. “I shouldn’t have done that. I think maybe you should just let me sleep it off here, and leave.”
Anubis ground his teeth. “I’m not leaving you here.” He started the car and drove off towards my house. “You can sleep it off in your garage.”
“Fine,” I eased the seat into a reclining position and tried to forget that Anubis was even in the car with me.
The ride lulled me into the deep sleep of the intoxicated. When I came to, Anubis was leaning over me, brushing the hair out of my eyes. The feeling of waking up like that, with him above me, was so familiar. Not exactly a comforting familiarity but one born of repetition. Repeat something enough and it becomes second nature, you just automatically respond to it in a similar way. I responded by running my hand through his slick hair, letting the cold of the gold beads tingle my fingers.
“You’re home, Miw-sher,” he whispered and kissed my forehead.
“Am I?” I watched his eyes start to swirl, entirely mesmerized by them. Home? Where was home again? Was I back in the Underworld, seducing my way out?
His lips lowered to mine and I sighed as the heat shot between us. I’d forgotten how amazing kissing Anubis could be. He wasn't just the God of the Dead, he was the God of Mummification and as disgusting as that sounds, it meant he knew his way around a body. Now that my body remembered his talent, it just wanted more and more. My hands reached around him, pulling against his shoulders till we were pressed chest to chest, not even a whisper between us.