“A long time ago,” he says, “women of Denendeh used to have a spring ceremony. They would go off by themselves for four days every year. When they came back to the village, the ceremony was never spoken of. Men had no knowledge of what took place and were not permitted to ask. During the ceremony, men could hear singing and chanting. They could hear animals sometimes singing along with the women.”
People look at each other with astonishment. There’s lots of nods all around me and everyone’s listening now.
“I guess there was one year when one of the younger men called the other men together. ‘What’s going on over there?’ he asked. ‘Every year this happens and yet we know nothing of what takes place. For four days, we watch the kids and we cook and we clean. That’s women’s work. How come they get to take this time for themselves when we should be hunting?’ The younger men agreed, but the elders tried to tell him that he should respect the women’s privacy. The young man ignored his elders. He left early the next morning to spy.
“That night, as the men listened, there was a horrible noise. It was a man screaming, screaming in pain. His screaming was heard for miles. It was followed by an incredible silence that echoed for days.
“Soon after, the women walked through the settlement. They were covered in blood. They all walked down to the water and washed before returning to their families. They carried on like nothing bad had happened. The men were too scared to ask about this. A few of the hunters wondered where the young man was. Finally, the men left to go look for him.
“They went to the place where the women held their ceremony and they found a field picked clean of any grass, any weed, any berry. Even the birds and mice wouldn’t cross it. It was just dirt: black, black dirt.
“They never found the man who went to spy on the women. They never found his body or heard from him ever again.
“That field I’m telling you about is in Fort Providence. Birds won’t even fly over it. The animals walk around it, and that haunted earth remains barren even to this day.”
Everybody gasps and “aaahhh.” Then we all stand and cheer. I sip my coffee and she’s gone cold. “When men intrude on woman power, the Dene and the land suffer,” I think he says through the applause.
I sit back down and get ready for more. This time the elders move up to the front and everybody comes in from the cold outside. Ray takes another sip and starts again. “I’m going to ask for your help in my last story.”
Uh-oh. Everybody gets nervous and giggly. I look down at my boots and pray he doesn’t ask for volunteers or get us to lock arms and sway as we sing something.
“I need a volunteer,” he says.
Everybody blushes and looks around. “Who’s it gonna be?” Ray hops off the stage and goes into the crowd. I see him stand off to the front left of the crowd and offer his hand to someone in a parka. His hand is met and someone stands up. He takes her up on stage. At first, I think he grabbed one of the Wandering Spirit girls, but then I see it’s her: Swee-Sim. Uh oh, I think. Where’s Conrad? She has a wolverine-trimmed parka with a purple shell and mukluks that are so small. She wears her hair down and it flows like black water over the hood. She is smiling and looking down. Many people lean left and right to get a better look and they all ask who she is.
Ray grabs the mike and says, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to give a warm welcome to Swee-Sim Blitz.” Everybody cheers and stomps their feet. He asks her something and she answers. “Swee-Sim’s from China and her husband’s not here.” Everybody watches her and she looks down, blushing. “Okay now,” Ray says, “I’m glad your hubby isn’t here because now I can hold your hand.” Everybody laughs and Ray smiles. He has a twinkle in his eye and he’s blushing but he powers through and says, “In the olden days, there were arranged marriages.”
Everybody in the crowd nods and remembers.
“If you could hunt and provide for yourself and a family, you were considered a prime person, ripe for marriage.”
The lights dim and Ray continues. “Sometimes, though, people didn’t get the person they fell in love with. Maybe the parents didn’t think too highly of one boy and thought highly of another. Well, that girl, she’s heartbroken, but she goes with it because that was how it was done in the olden days. But somewhere along the way, the people invented the Love Song. And now I’m going to sing this for all of you.” He says it to everyone, but he’s looking at Swee-Sim.
I look around. Conrad is nowhere to be seen.
Ray puts down his mike and lets go of Swee-Sim’s hand. He grabs a drum from behind the stage and holds up the stick in his other hand. Some people bow their heads and others make the sign of the cross. Ray hits that drum slow and he starts to sing to her. Swee-Sim keeps looking down and he starts off so soft. He goes like this:
Hah gee lah nee haaay
Hah gee lah nee haaay
Hah gee lah nee haaay
Hah gee lah nee haaay
He hits that drum like a heartbeat and he keeps it going. He says it over and over and looks at all of us. Soon we’re all singing along and everyone holds hands. I get real warm inside and we raise our voices to meet the night. I watch Swee-Sim and she’s singing, too. She looks up straight at him, not afraid, and her little frame starts to sway.
Hah gee lah nee haaay
Hah gee lah nee haaay
I feel real strong inside, like something’s so right. I get all choked and keep on singing. Ray keeps it going and, after a while, he walks Swee-Sim back to her seat. He turns and walks back to the stage. When he gets back up, he bows and keeps going. When he gets quiet and we think he’s gonna stop, he takes a deep breath and goes real loud, like a tide. Soon he stops. Everyone keeps singing without a drum and it sure sounds pretty.
After that, it gets quiet and everyone makes the sign of the cross again. One of the elders next to me turns off to the side and wipes his face. He steadies himself up on a cane and walks out. People stand and cheer and we all come back to earth. Everybody shakes hands. Old friends say hi and even Mayor Chaplin and Oops! shake hands with each other, and I get a few hugs, just for being me. Soon, the mayor comes out and tells everyone the winners. Ray won hands down and everyone claps and hollers. Everyone leaves after that so they can get out of stacking chairs and cleaning.
I go to find Ray but the mayor says he left real quick. I go out to the parking lot and there he is. He’s getting handshakes all around and in the truck – shotgun – is Swee-Sim. It looks to me like she’s smiling really quiet and I know that everything’s okay in the world, but, as I walk home under the twirling and tickly snow, I wonder how this will all play out: how will he get her away from Blitz? I drop tobacco outside my trailer and ask for the angels to take her away and put her in the arms of a man who could give her the world – the right way.
Ray’s performance was in the paper and even on the CBC. I guess someone taped it and it was played on the radio. It was in the Slave River Bulletin but in the picture you can’t see Swee-Sim. All you see is Ray talking serious in one picture and him holding the drum in the other. I wondered what she told Conrad about her night out.
Work picked up at the jail. I’m a guard and our own people are bringing in the hillbilly heroin of oxycontin, crack cocaine, and crystal meth. It’s my job now to protect the prisoners from each other and themselves. It was after four nights of C Shifts when I heard from Ray again. It was on the phone.
“Grant!” he says like a little kid. “We gotta go to the dance this Friday. Blitz is gonna be the DJ. Swee-Sim’s gonna be there!”
“Yeah? He gonna let you dance with his wife, or what?”
“Well… I don’t know. I kinda asked her to save me a waltz.”
“Scoop?”
“I gave her a ride to my house after my stories and I made her tea. We talked about the old ways, things like The Love Song. She sure liked that. So we’re going, or what?�
�
“You bet!” I say. This is gonna be good. I slap my hands together. Prayers are being answered!
Next Friday, I get a knock on the door. It’s Ray all gussied up. He got his hair cut and he’s wearing a red checkered shirt. He tells me that’s what they used to wear in the old days. It means: “I’m ready, willin’ and able.” He’s got a purple hanky tied around his neck and he sure smells pretty. He’s got a wiggle in his step and he’s raring to go.
“C’mon! C’mon!” he says like a little kid on Christmas Day. We motor on down in Pearce’s old truck. He cleaned it up on the inside and gave ’er a wash on the outside. That’s kinda hard cuz it’s about thirty below out, but he did it.
We pull up to the Roaring Rapids Hall. She’s packed tonight. Usually, people walk to the dance so they can drink and not drive. But it’s cold in November and the snow’s mighty deep. We make our way. The music pumps and, sure enough, Blitz is up on stage doing his job. He DJ’s sometimes for a little money on the side. He’s got a great system. We look for Swee-Sim but she’s nowhere to be seen. Ray starts pacing and sweating. I know everyone there so I make my rounds. I get pretty caught up with visiting and dancing. Man, this town can two-step to anything. About two hours pass, and I go outside to cool off. Still no sign of Brutus and Clarence, but then I see her: Swee-Sim.
She was coming from the parking lot carrying a crate of CDs. I run down the stairs and give her a hand. She sure looks pretty in her parka. Underneath, she’s all dressed up in a silk dress. Her hair is loose and shiny. She’s got a little hush of pink on her cheeks and red lipstick so smooth it makes her lips look delicious. I was about to start up the stairs when Ray put his hand on my shoulder and asks if we need any help. I get the message and say sure. Ole Ray sure takes one heckuva load and leaps up those stairs. He pushes past everyone with Swee-Sim at one arm and that crate in the other. I get back to looking for someone I don’t know to flirt with.
When I go back inside, the lights are way down so I kick up my heels and rock with some pretty nice ladies, girls I grew up with. Some are divorced, some are married. We’re practically family and there’s a peace to seeing everyone growing up together. Soon Blitz plays the last waltz. Somebody in the crowd yells, “Sister Christian!” Everybody hoops and hollers and grabs their partners. I grab Rita, the new x-ray tech who’s been giving me the eye all night, and I hug her real close. I sink into Rita’s hair and smell her heat and perfume. It’s been so long since I worked on my night moves. Gorgeous hips. Strong. I’d love to explore just a little more if it all pans out. I’m about to start my sweet-talkin’ when, across the room, I see Ray and Swee-Sim. He has her laughing pretty good and she throws her head back. Ray has that same smile on his face, one that says he wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world than right here, right now. He holds her so soft and sure steps lightly. She’s kinda short for him but somehow they manage. He twirls her and dips, twirls her and dips. That little hanky he has tied around his neck looks pretty flashy. He sure knows his stuff when it comes to courtin’. I glance at Blitz but he’s too busy DJ’ing to notice anything. I get caught up with Rita and start some wandering stuff.
About then, someone slams into me, knocking me down. Someone screams and everything gets fuzzy. All I can see are jeans and shit-kickers. I try to stand but there’s too many people. It’s dark and I pull my hand close. My ears are ringing and then I hear more people screaming. I pull myself up by a table leg and steady myself. There’s Ray and Blitz going at it. Blitz cracks Ray while his mouth is open and Ray drops to the floor. Blitz kicks him while he’s down and Swee-Sim’s crying for him to stop. I think Blitz would’ve killed him if the bouncers, Boom and Country, hadn’t jumped him. They haul a roaring Blitz out of there and lift Ray up. Everyone goes outside cuz the dance is over and someone says I’m bleeding. I go to Ray and sees if he’s okay. His jaw is out of place and I drive him to the hospital.
Doctor Hoffman sees us in the examining room. Ray’s in a lot of pain so the doctor gives him a needle. Ray gets sleepy; his eyes close. I wait three hours and talk with the nurses. They patch me up and give me a coffee. They tell me the doctor’s got to wire Ray’s jaw shut. I make a joke about how Smith will have some quiet and peace, seeing as Ray does all the yapping. But it isn’t funny and nobody laughs.
After a week of A and B shifts, I walk out all the way to Axe Handle Hill to see Ray at his house. It’s the same day he was discharged from the hospital. The doctor did a good job and Ray drinks from a straw.
“How you feeling there, little buddy?” I ask.
“Shitty,” he says but it comes out like this: “Shshitty.”
“I keep waiting for you to come in and press charges on Blitz,” I say.
Ray has an intravenous in his arm. He looks and moves likes he’s still in a lot of pain and the swelling’s down in his jaw, but it’s his ribs that hurt. Two broke where Blitz kicked him. Ray doesn’t feel like talking so I read him a story. It’s a story I’ve been working on about how Clarence and Brutus and I like to streak in Fort Smith in the summer. Then Ray touches me. He gets his finger to his lips and motions for me to stop. He sits up and we listen.
From outside in the snow we hear a voice. It’s soft and I can’t make out the words. The voice rises and stops, rises and rests. It sounds like a little kid singing to us. Dogs? Dog teams? I look out the window but I can’t see anything. Ray motions for me to go outside and check it out. I put on my boots and stomp outside. Without my jacket on, I get cold real quick. I hug myself for warmth and call if anyone’s out there. Ray’s truck is the only thing I can see. The sky is overcast and I can see the dim face of the moon. The snow is starting to fall and that wind is so fierce it feels like my skin is gonna split. Anyone outside way out here is either gonna freeze or say hello. Still nothing, so I go back inside. Ray tries to stand. “Who the hell’s out there?” he asks. “I can still hear it.”
“No one. Sit down.” And then the phone rings. It’s Blitz. He sounds worried; he wants to know where his wife is. This is Day Two of her missing. I tell him I don’t know and that he can damn well be sure that Ray’s gonna charge his ass as soon as he’s better. “We’ll see you in JP Court!” I yell. He doesn’t say anything for a while and asks to speak to Ray. I tell Ray that Blitz wants to speak to him but Ray just lies down and closes his eyes. Blitz hangs up when I tell him Ray is sleeping.
The next phone call we get is about twenty minutes later. It’s the sergeant. He wants to know where Mrs. Blitz is. I tell him what happened and say that Ray is gonna charge Blitz for busting his jaw. Sarge says he’ll be right over. I say we’ll wait.
When Sarge comes over he’s all frog-eyed and scared. He doesn’t even knock. He just barges in. I ask him what happened and he says I better get my jacket on. “Something happened. Something awful.”
I pull on my boots and parka. Me and Sarge tromp outside and he leads me to his car. I think he’s gonna question me, get my statement about the fight, but he stops outside of Ray’s truck and shines his flashlight in the cab. “Do you know who this is?”
At first I can’t see what’s in there but then he opens the door. It’s Swee-Sim all busted up. Her eyes are all raccooned and her nose is hammered flat. Three holes have punctured her forehead and I recognize the signature of gold nugget rings. It looks like somebody dug their thumbnails in her skin and scooped the meat out. Those lips of hers are swollen and torn. Her mouth is open in silent awe and I think the top row of her teeth is missing. She’s all pale and I can’t see any breath from her. She’s got claw marks so purple I think she got mauled by a wolverine. I start to shake and tell Sarge we gotta bring her in the house. I pull off my parka and the Sarge tells me it’s too late; she’s been dead for days.
I hear screaming and I jump. It’s Ray and he’s standing there in his T-shirt and track pants. The Sarge goes towards him and I hear them. We’ve woken the sleigh dogs that are tied to their houses across th
e highway. They’re wailing like women and howl for Ray and Swee-Sim.
Everything slows down. She has been dead for days. She’s frozen solid. So how did we hear her singing?
In her small hands is Ray’s purple hanky, the one he wore around his neck. She also has a tiny piece of paper and time slows. They have my fingerprints at the cop shop. The Sarge knows who I am. I shield what I’m about to do because I know I was a part of this. Somehow I helped cause this. And I know exactly how this ends. Whatever she wrote will be passed around in the coffee room at the cop shop. It will be read and mocked.
As Sarge holds Ray back from seeing the body and asks me for help, the dogs start screaming but for all the wailing and noise they’re making, it doesn’t seem loud enough. I take the piece of paper and slip it up my sleeve so Sarge doesn’t see. After, when all of this quiets, I will give her last words to Ray on bended knees. And that snow, that snow that looks like thousands of moths dying, the sky feathers burying us all – it just keeps coming down, down, down….
Devotion
I know I’ve…. I know I’ve never been one to borrow from grace before, but the day Charlie went missing, a raven came to me outside my window and tried telling me something. It clucked its beak and started to chatter, and I waved it away, prayed it away. I spoke English; I spoke Dogrib. I even spoke Cree: “Awas! Awas!”
Then it gripped its claws on the branch and swung upside down. Looking at me. Clucking. It would not stop trying to tell me something. And that’s when I knew: It was Charlie. His spirit, asking for help.
When I was with Charlie we laughed all the time. When I went with him… it was the best time of my life. The way we were. How people loved him. He brightened every room he walked into. People still ask me about him, even after all these years.
When that raven came to me, I had a feeling. Just like when Dad died. I had a feeling. They say many things about the spirit world and here’s what I want to say to you. I am going to write this down so you know I know about you, and I’m going to tell you how I figured you out. All of you.
Godless But Loyal To Heaven Page 8