by Noelle N
"I never want to lose you," I admitted softly, watching as he slowly opened his eyes again. His irises were the softest kind of green, the kind I could absolutely sink in and never wish to get out for the longest time after. "Physically or otherwise, least of all to revenge. If you shut me out, I can't help you. But if you let me in – I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll be there. With you. I'll never leave you."
For a moment or two, he was absolutely still. Then he let out a rushed exhale and tipped his head down just fractionally so that his forehead was pressed against mine. Shutting his eyes, he swallowed heavily and took a deep breath.
"I love you," he whispered, "I always have."
I felt the air rush out of my lungs at his words, only to be replaced with a feeling of euphoria that spread through every inch of me. I'd always known, in my heart, that Jed felt the same way I did. But hearing him say it was another and I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. Pushing myself up on my toes, I swiftly pressed my lips to his, stealing his breath of surprise right from his mouth and capturing his bottom lip with mine, kissing him over and over and over again for as many times as his words replayed themselves in my head.
My actions seemed to have taken him completely by surprise because he was entirely still against me for awhile, until he slowly relaxed and reached his hands up to tighten around my waist, a quiet, low groan resonating from the back of his throat as he responded to my kisses with equal fervour.
After a few blissful seconds, I pulled back, a bright smile spreading across my face when I met his gaze and saw the glazed expression of desire in his dark eyes, as well as the hesitation and uncertainty lacing his features.
"I love you too," I whispered, my smile widening when a glimmer of sheer happiness lit his eyes as he finally registered my words. "I always will."
25
HEART
Jed and I decided to stay home the next day. Based on a text that Jade had sent me, Lorraine had returned to the diner but she was still ranting and railing at everyone who so much as crossed paths with her. Jed had no wish to be anywhere near her and, as much as I wanted to help her, I couldn't help but feel the same.
Just thinking about how she'd come so close to attacking me the other day was enough to backtrack on my impulses and send a message to Dimitri to stay home too. Putting the sardonic, sharp-tongued Dimitri and the emotionally-unstable Lorraine together was like adding fuel to the already-blazing fire.
Meanwhile, Jed had revoked his previous orders and simply moved the prisoners into a holding cell for the time being. He'd then retreated into his study to contact several other packs for reinforcements. There wasn't any time to lose because Prometheus still had Lance and Giles, if they were even alive. Based on what I understood of the situation, Titan had the distinct advantage of having several extremely well-trained fighters.
But Prometheus had nothing to lose. And that in itself gave Malthus Trevino the upper-hand.
Two upper-hands, in fact.
I was still mulling over the issue of the rogue within Titan. We needed to flush that rogue out before Titan made its next move, because Titan could very well get burnt if the rogue leaked our plans out to Prometheus. Finding the ring was imperative, as Dimitri had already said.
But what was even more important was convincing Jed.
Biting my lip thoughtfully, I started to contemplate the best way to go about it as I stood by the kitchen counter and began to prepare breakfast. Cooking, as always, was therapeutic, and I found myself beginning to calm down as I pulled out one ingredient after another out of the fridge. I was just about to push myself up on the counter so that I could retrieve a pot when I felt Jed step up behind me, his familiar scent washing over me like the best kind of aphrodisiac there ever was, his tanned arm reaching out to pull the pot off the shelf and set it down on the counter.
"Hi," I greeted brightly when I turned around, feeling rather surprised when I saw how close he was standing. The expression on his face was calm, the tiny smile flitting across his face almost relaxed, like we had all the time in a world that had, momentarily, stopped spinning on its axis. When he took a step closer still, his eyes darting down to my lips, I suddenly felt flustered as my heart began to race. "Are you hungry?" I blurted.
His eyes widened in visible surprise before a lazy smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
Rapidly, I realised the ramifications of my statement and shut my eyes in brief embarrassment. "In retrospect, that might not have been the best question to ask."
Jed let out a low, husky laugh that sent thrills all the way down my spine and, without any warning, swiftly leaned down to capture my lips with his. He kissed me in a way that was wonderfully familiar, lips sliding against mine so smoothly that seemed like he'd done it a thousand times before, first nipping at the corner of my mouth and then on my lower lip to wrench a breathless whimper from me, before kissing me fully over and over again until I was almost numbingly devoid of all thoughts but him.
All too soon for my liking, he was pulling away in an action that was perfectly reminiscent of all the times he'd just kissed me with that vague curiosity, only to pull back in time before his irises went fully obsidian. Somehow, the thought of that thrilled me very much and I couldn't help but wonder how it would feel like, what Jed would do, when he was no longer in full control. And somehow, a part of me knew that this was a perfect time for it to happen.
So I reached up to lock my arms around his neck to keep him solidly in place. "Oh, no, you don't, big boy." I laughed when he stilled in surprise, his green eyes wide with confusion as he stared at me. "You don't get to kiss a girl and leave her hanging. Not this time. Now kiss me the way I know you've always wanted to."
He froze when he caught the implications of my request. Immediately, his eyes darkened to a fascinating shade of the darkest green and he swallowed, his Adam's apple sliding up and down his throat with the movement. And when he spoke, his voice was quiet, so low and rich with desire that I felt my toes curl at the delicious sound of it. "Are you sure?"
"Oh, I'm sure," I said, offering him a bright, reassuring smile and tilting my head so that I could tap two fingers against the left side of my neck, an inch or so beneath my ear. I'd memorised it perfectly from the moment he'd pointed it out to me, and I was certain I'd never forget it. "Here, right?"
A low growl wrenched itself from his throat when he saw my actions, his dark eyes fixing intensely on the spot where I was pointing. Before I could even blink, he was leaning in close, until I could feel every inch of him pressed up against me. Placing his hands on my hips, he gripped me tightly and lifted me up so that I was sitting on the counter. From this height, my face was level with his and an amused smirk played on his lips when he saw how flustered I was because of our close proximity.
But the smirk on his face swiftly faded when he met my gaze, and his eyes were dark but soft when he reached up to gently tuck a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. The action was so familiar, so heartbreakingly sweet, so reminiscently him that I instantly felt reassured, and let my eyes flutter shut when he finally closed the gap between us again.
It was nothing but uninhibited from the very beginning. He kissed me at the perfect angle, lips capturing mine in two sweet, mind-numbing kisses before nipping sharply on my lower lip, an unexpected action that surprised a startled gasp out of me and made my head spin. He didn't hesitate to slip his tongue into my mouth, his fingers tightening involuntarily on my waist as he began to explore and familiarise himself with my mouth, our tongues entangling in slick, velvet heat. We'd had pleasant kisses before and sweet ones and drowning ones but this – this was different.
It was all I could think about as I tightened my arms around his neck, tugging him even closer so that he was standing in between my legs. But when I hooked my legs around his waist, something in him seemed to snap and he let out a low growl, his fingers digging into my hips as he dragged me to the edge of the counter, pulling me so close to him that I
could feel the my breasts pressed flushed against the hard planes of his chest and the length of his arousal grinding against me in a way that made my stomach tighten, a tight, hot wire of anticipation building within me as I sighed his name against his lips.
With a muffled groan in response, he dragged his lips away from mine, only to press them strategically against the corner of my mouth, then sponging hot kisses across the line of my jaw. I buried my fingers into his soft hair, the other hand wrapped firmly around the nape of his neck so that he would never go far. Not that he had any wish to do so in the first place, because he kept one hand securely melded around my waist to anchor me into place, while he shifted his other hand to brace himself against the counter, his lips feverishly sweeping across my skin, slowly but steadily making his way down to my neck.
The occasional nips and hot slide of his tongue against my skin were sufficient to make my heart race at an erratic rate, and I could've sworn I felt the odd but unexpectedly delightful feel of his sharp teeth grazing my neck every so often. It was a strange feeling, one that didn't stop the coil of anticipation from building in my stomach, a thrill glossing down my spine, but a strange feeling nonetheless. And when Jed finally reached my neck, he felt me still fleetingly under his touch and he paused.
He pulled back, and I caught a glimpse of his elongated fangs as he struggled to rein himself in, his eyes obsidian with just the faintest glimmer of green. After a moment or two, he reached up to sweep my hair behind my ear, leaving the left side of my neck completely bare, before he met my gaze evenly. "Trust me."
I smiled, feeling my chest tighten when I realised how careful he was being despite the fact that he was probably warring with his wolf. "Oh, I do."
The expression on his face softened and he leaned in again, this time to capture my lips again. The kiss was hot, heavy and everything about it was so intense that I momentarily forgot about everything but him. It stole the air from my lungs and left me entirely breathless, but before I could reciprocate, he pulled away swiftly and pressed another scorching kiss to my neck. I let out a whimper when he gently bit and sucked on the skin there, but it wasn't just a love-bite, it wasn't just a mark that would stay on me for days to come. It was something more than that and I knew it, I craved it, because I was tightening my grip on him as I held him securely against me, an action that he seemed to like very much because he sponged another open-mouthed kiss across my skin and, with a muffled groan that was so low it was barely audible, swiftly sunk his teeth into my neck.
It was something entirely beautiful.
A sharp burst of pain that was swiftly dulled by pleasure, and for a moment or two, everything felt mindless, numbing, drifting like I was in a place where no dimensions or time or space existed, nothing but him. But it was followed by an unexpected jolt of awareness of him – his delicious scent that had by now seeped into my skin, his fingers rucking up my spine beneath my shirt with his other hand anchored around my waist to keep me in place, his teeth retracting just as swiftly before he laved his hot tongue across my skin to soothe the remnant sting of the bite.
Jed pressed his lips gently against the spot several more times before lifting his head. His dark eyes were still sated with desire but it quickly dissipated when he scanned my face, a hint of worry seeping into his expression when I stayed entirely still. "Did I hurt you?"
I blinked. It was like spiralling down from an adrenaline rush and I unconsciously reached a hand up to trace my fingers across the bite. Perforated marks embedded in my skin in a perfect curve, and my fingers lingered there for a moment or two before I met his gaze. "No," I murmured, still blinking as I tried to adjust.
Something was different.
I couldn't quite place a finger on it. "No, you didn't," I repeated, still feeling that strange pulse rush through me. I blinked a few more times, staring dazedly around at the kitchen. Jed was still holding me tightly and I instinctively leaned in closer to him. I was just about to rest my cheek against his shoulder when it suddenly hit me, and I veered back sharply, glancing up to meet his gaze in fascination. "You're worried."
It was his turn to blink. Slowly, he nodded, still looking entirely unsure, but I hastily cut in, feeling a surge of intrigue rush through me.
"No, you're worried," I repeated, a smile of disbelief flitting across my face as I shook my head. "You're worried and confused but entirely sated and I can feel all that."
Realisation flickered in his eyes and he immediately relaxed, a satisfied grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he nodded. He didn't look surprised at all and I realised he must've already known that. But I hadn't, and I shut my eyes for a few moments, leaning my head against his shoulder as I tried to sense him.
It was like feeling two sets of emotions within me, not warring with each other but blending, merging, balancing – because he was sated as he traced arbitrary patterns across the small of my back and now I was feeling the same way too; and now I was fascinated and I knew that he must've felt it too.
"This is amazing," I murmured at last, my lips brushing his neck as I spoke and I smiled when I felt him shiver involuntarily at the contact, his arms tightening around me. "Okay, that was hot and I had a lot of fun," I added, in amusement, "we should really do it again. That and any other kinky tricks you werewolves can do."
Jed laughed, and I felt a surge of happiness that wasn't mine but his, which in turn made me feel absolutely thrilled and on and on and on. Like a ripple effect. I was right. This wasn't a love-bite or a mark, it was more than that – it was a connection.
I was just about to voice my observations to Jed when a sudden knock on the front door startled the both of us. Reluctantly, I began to unwind my legs from around his waist just as the person outside spoke.
"Alpha?"
I froze. My hands tightened on Jed's shoulders and I held him in place, my eyes darting up to his. The expression on his face was surprised, and I already knew he'd felt the horror I'd felt mere seconds ago.
"Adrian?" I mouthed the word, staring up at him questioningly. Jed nodded unsurely, his eyes darting over to the front door and then back to me again in clear confusion. The knock sounded again and I dug my fingers into Jed's shoulders, hardly aware that I was probably hurting him because my heart was racing so erratically that I could barely think about anything else. Pulling him closer to me, I leaned forward until my lips were a hairsbreadth away from his ear. "Don't trust him."
Jed stilled.
Then he jerked back, the action so swift and sharp that it almost seemed like I had slapped him right in the face. I caught a fleeting glimpse of hurt flash across his eyes before he was pinning me with his shrewd, calculating gaze. There was an unspoken question in his eyes but I could almost hear him say it –
Are you sure?
I gave a subtle nod and involuntarily jumped when the knock sounded again. His fingers immediately tightened around my waist in a subconscious effort to calm me. "Don't leave him anywhere near the prisoners from Prometheus," I whispered, because walls had ears and I didn't know how much of our conversation could be heard from outside. I didn't want to risk it. "Get Brutus or Katya or even Bianca – just not him. Don't give him any additional ammunition or reinforcement he may already have against you."
He nodded, his features slipping into an indifferent one I saw often on him when he wasn't looking at me, and strode out of the kitchen.
I remained where I was, mindlessly wiping down the counter and then unwrapping the food. In the distance, I could hear vague, familiar voices but I couldn't quite decipher to content of their conversation. I was midway through preparing lunch and had just finished setting the timer for the oven when the front door shut and Jed re-entered the kitchen.
"Noticed anything?" I asked, when I saw him hovering by the doorway. When he shook his head, uncertainty flitting across his face, I smiled reassuringly at him. "That's because he's an excellent actor in human form." After sticking the tray of chicken in the oven and washing my hands, wip
ing them down on the cloth, I headed over to him and grabbed his hand. "Come on. I'll show you."
On the way to the library, I quietly told him about the night of Spike's funeral. How Dimitri had noticed the outlier, how no other wolf had quite stood the same way that brown wolf had, how it was unmistakable once we noticed it.
Adrian was the rogue.
And I knew it from the moment Dimitri had pointed him out to me. That brown coat of fur was unmistakable and he was sitting next to Jed the night of Spike's funeral. Jed's right hand man. His best friend. The one who'd stuck with him throughout the years. It was the latter thought that triggered something in me, because when I first met Adrian and Spike and Lance, Spike had told me an interesting fact that had somehow stuck.
I've never heard him say a word for as long as I've known him, Spike had said, when I asked about Jed. Nor has Lance. Adrian hasn't either, and he's known our Alpha for even longer.
And what had Adrian said again? He used to speak, but he hasn't for a long time.
So Adrian had known Jed long before, which could easily mean that he'd known Jed's family long before. And it was that which prompted me to head back home the night of Spike's funeral and do some cross-referencing through the photographs.
"Look at these," I told Jed, once we were in the library with the door bolted shut behind us and I'd finished laying out the photographs on the carpeted floor in front of him. Pointing to a particular picture, I looked up at Jed. "That's him, right?"
Jed followed the direction my finger was pointing to and, for a moment or two, he hesitated. Looked at that picture of an Adrian who was barely ten years old, all wide smiles and bright eyes with an arm slung around Jed's shoulders. The shade of vulnerability that glimpsed across Jed's face was unmistakable, but it was gone in a flash and he finally nodded.