When lunch was done, the men cleared away the dishes and I found myself pacing up and down the house once again as they all packed. It wasn’t like I had anything to take with me – and I didn’t want to arouse their suspicion by packing anything, anyway. They might have caught on if they saw me packing a bag, caught on to the plan I had already come to terms with. I had come here with nothing and I would leave here with nothing – well, not quite nothing. I looked at the four closed doors as the men packed their things, and allowed a small smile to creep onto my face. I had the four of them. That was far more than nothing.
It had been so long since I had truly felt desired the way these men made me feel. I mean, I had dated before, but when I was with the clan, but it had never felt like this. That had been more like a matter of course, the assumption that I was going to get together with someone high-up in the clan in order to keep my father’s line going. And I did my best, I truly did, to try and uphold my end of the bargain – I slept with men, I tried to dredge up some sincere interest from my side in the hopes that I would find someone to settle down with who my father could be proud of, who would produce good, strong heirs to the throne after me. But I had never felt anything like what I felt with Anton, Ethan, Rafe, and Luke. Even the memory of their hands all over me, in that hot tub, was enough to get my pulse racing once more. The effect they had on me – maybe because they had never tried to have an effect at all – even now, made my knees a little weak.
I pushed the thought from my head. Now was not the time to think about that. This was a somber day, a mournful one, and not the time to be paying so much attention to my libido, for certain. I took a seat on the couch and tried to pull my mind in a different direction, but instead I found my head heavy with the thought of what could have happened between us in that tub if I’d just let things keep going. I had no idea what the logistics would have been for all four of them at once, but I knew for damn certain that I’d have been very interested in finding out…
I forced myself to my feet. No. I had to be respectful. These men were leaving behind their home, everything they’d worked for, for so long, to take care of me. I spotted a small bookcase at the other side of the room and headed over to it; I wondered who the reader was out of the four of them. I would have guessed Ethan, but I could imagine Luke, up late at night when he couldn’t sleep, slipping out of bed to pick out something to read, too. The thought of it made me smile. I wished I could have seen a little more of their domestic lives, of how they functioned before all of this washed up on their shore. Oh, to have played the watcher to them back in the day, before I had rolled up and ruined everything. I wondered if they all got on as well with each other, or if they divided themselves off into little pairs to hang out.
I ran my finger absently along the spines of the books on the bookcase, and brought my finger to a stop randomly and without paying much attention to what I had picked out. I grabbed for the book and looked down at the cover – Robinson Crusoe. Seemed appropriate, given that I was feeling more and more like I was stranded these days. I took a seat in the living room, tucked my legs up and under myself, and began to read.
It had been a long time since I had just lost myself to a book like that. I used to love reading, back when I was a kid, but the duties I was expected to take on as the daughter of the head of the pack soon took precedence over everything that I had once enjoyed. I let the story absorb me – the language was a little old-fashioned at first, but I soon tuned my ear to the way the narration played out and found myself actually enjoying the book, happily forgetting everything that had been going on the last few hours. Occasionally, it would plague the back of my mind, making itself known in that ugly, aggressive way, that a nightmare seemed to creep into your waking mind, but I was quick to put it down every time it tried to come back. I just wanted a few more hours to myself, a few more hours before I had to face up to the truth and everything that my arrival in this place had wrought.
When I lifted my head from the book, it was getting dark outside and the fire had smoldered down to a few glowing embers opposite me. I yawned and ran my hands through my hair. The guys had come and gone but none of them had bothered to disturb me, perhaps understanding that I needed this time to myself, to let myself get lost in a story. I was about halfway through but my eyes were beginning to droop and I knew I needed to stretch my legs. I felt a small pang of sadness as I carefully returned the book to the shelf, as I realized that I would likely never get a chance to finish it.
It was cold outside but I didn’t care. I stepped towards the door, glancing around to make sure that none of them were going to stop me – they must have known as well as I did that I was risking a whole hell of a lot by stepping out by myself, without the cover of any of their scents to keep me safe, but I needed some fresh air, to feel the cool breeze on my face once more without being flanked by the four of them. Even the few days I’d spent out in the woods by myself before the lot of them came by to save me had been more independence than I’d ever had before in my life, and I had to admit that there was some part of me that craved the same thing all over again. I wouldn’t be apart from them for anything in the world, but I would have liked a little more time to just…be myself. To learn who I was outside of the pack.
The snowy vista sprawled out in front of me and I shivered as I stood there in my bare feet, letting the cold seep into my bones. I knew it was a bad idea but I couldn’t stop myself. I just wanted to feel it on me, against me, within me. It was one of those ways that I could remind myself I was alive, the ice-cold breeze against my skin. I loved it. I would never have traded it in. Even for a shifter, I had an unnatural adoration of the cold, even when it came in the form of the thick blanket of snow that was laid out in front of me now. I just wanted to shift and run out into it, to roll around and get it all up in my fur, then to dry off next to the fire wrapped in a thick blanket afterwards. That sounded like heaven. I would have done it, too, if it hadn’t been for the fear of getting my scent all over the freshly-fallen snow; I knew that they would be keeping their noses to the ground for me, the MacLarens, and that anything I did to leave my scent behind would only end in disaster.
I wondered if my father would come for me if they took me. Because that’s what they’d be relying on. But my father had kicked me out of the pack for good – if he came after me to help after doing that, he would look so weak, so full of favors for those close to him. But if not…would he really leave me out there with the MacLarens? To die? Or, God knows what else that they might do to me first? I thought back to the look on my father’s face when he had condemned me to a life outside the pack. Even then, it had been written all over his features that he didn’t want to do this, that he would have found some way around it if he could. The thought made my stomach clench once more. I missed him. I wish I could reach out to him, beg him to let this feud with his enemies go so I could live in peace with the four of them…
But if decades of fighting hadn’t solved anything, then the pleas of his exiled daughter were hardly going to help. I sighed and stretched, my breath forming a puff of steam in the air before me, and the sight of it reminded me of us in that hot tub, the hot water morphing to steam around us with every movement. I glanced over at the tub – it was black and switched-off for now, but I wanted to wring every last drop of enjoyment from my time here while I still could.
I headed over to the hot tub and, in the soft glow from the cabin, found the controls and switched it on. It sprang to life at once, bubbling the water and instantly giving off a dimly warm heat. I glanced over my shoulder, making sure that I was alone, and began to strip down.
The cold air pinched my skin and made me wince, but it only made it all the sweeter when I slipped beneath the deliciously warm water and lost myself to the feeling of it. Oh, yes. That felt good. My muscles were always sore after I went out for a shifted run, and I had done two in as many days. This was a relief. It was heaven. It was the last time I would probably get to relax u
ntil all of this was over, and I had no idea when that would be – or what my world would look like once it was. I leaned back and let it soothe my muscles, allowing my head to drop backwards and letting out the smallest little moan of pleasure. I could almost remember how it felt to be in here with all of them, the heat of their bodies, the chemistry crackling in the air as I felt the first hand working up the inside of my thigh…
Suddenly, I heard the door to the cabin open and my head snapped up. I realized I had allowed my hand to sneak up the inside of my leg, like I was mimicking the way it had felt when Luke had had his hand there instead. I was craving touch, even though I knew now was the worst time to go to any of them needing anything other than help with packing.
I flushed when I saw Luke coming through the door, followed by Rafe. They could have walked in on me touching myself if I hadn’t been careful. Not that I would have minded, but I wanted them to know that I was taking all of this seriously.
“Mind if we join you?”
Chapter 15
I felt a flush of desire run through me as I looked from Rafe to Luke and back again.
“Of course,” I replied, as the two of them stripped down completely naked and slipped beneath the water with me.
“You remember the last time we were in here?” Luke asked, and I could see the way his eyes flashed with desire as he looked at me. I wondered if he’d seen my hand sneaking up my thigh, if he’d realized that I was trying to remind myself of his touch. I flushed at the thought but I didn’t move away from him. If anything was going to get my mind off everything…
“Yes,” I murmured.
Rafe sat on the other side of the tub, where Luke had slid right up next to me, his foot lightly brushing against my own. He knew exactly what he was doing, and I wasn’t going to complain. I needed this. I needed him. I needed both of them, all of them. The last time in the hot tub, I had fled when things had gotten too intense and regretted it ever since, but this time it was going to be different. Completely different. I was ready and prepared and I wanted this so badly I was practically aching. My heart skipped a beat in excitement as I felt Luke’s finger trace a line from my knee to the inside of my thigh, apparently enjoying the way my mouth parted as he touched me. I looked over to find Rafe had shifted a few feet closer to me, and he leaned over to kiss my collarbone, just lightly brushing his lips against me. I closed my eyes. Fuck. The contrast of the warm water and cold air, of Rafe and Luke and their hands on me, was already getting me hot and bothered.
Rafe continued his way up my neck as Luke pressed his hand further up, and Rafe’s lips met mine at the same moment Luke’s hand found my center. I moaned softly against Rafe’s mouth, and wondered for a moment if the other two were going to join us. I was quite happy as things were, but I had to admit that the thought of all four of them here, all four of them touching me and watching me and taking care of me, was hot as hell. Then Rafe’s tongue slipped into my mouth and all I could think about was this, this moment, these touches.
Luke flattened his hand against my slick heat, brushing the heel of his hand against my clit as he dipped two fingers into my slit. I went to pull back from Rafe, to really lean in to the sensations between my legs, but Rafe cupped my head and held me close. I could feel his beard scratching roughly against my skin, and the contrast between that and the softness of his touch was dizzyingly erotic. Luke pushed his fingers into me in one sharp motion and I shuddered with pleasure.
The two of them were so different in their approaches that I could never forget that there were two of them there with me at once – Rafe was softer and sweeter while Luke was harder around the edges, like he’d been imagining this since the first time I put my lips on his earlier today. I had never thought about being with two men at once, but now that it was happening I had to admit that this was one of the hottest things I could imagine. The way they seemed to adore every inch of my body, the way they fought for my attention, the way they used me and touched me and pleasured me – it was all so much, so much that my brain seemed to switch off from the stress and panic of the last few days and allow for nothing but the comprehension of this pleasure. Rafe kissed me deeply as Luke moved his fingers inside of me, slowly fucking me with his hands. The warmth of the water coddled me as the cold air kept me alert, and I lost myself to them. Luke leaned down to kiss my shoulder, his stubble scraping harshly along my skin, and I slid an arm out and over his back, feeling the kinks of his spine and his shoulder blades beneath my fingers. Fuck, he felt good. So good. They both did.
I reached my other arm out to touch Rafe, sliding a hand between his legs and finding his cock rock-hard. I wrapped my fingers around him and he gasped against my mouth, before biting down on my bottom lip lightly and making me squirm with delicious pleasure. I slowly stroked him, up and down, matching the pace to the one that Luke had going between my legs, and wondered what kind of saint I must have been in a past life to be able to indulge in this kind of deviancy in this one. I could already imagine how Rafe would feel inside me, but I was in no rush to get there. I had two whole men to play with and I was going to take as much time as I wanted to get this right.
I pulled back from Rafe for a moment and looked between the two of them, took in the two pairs of eyes on me, the desire that seemed to radiate from them both. I had such power over the two of them, such power that I didn’t know where to start. I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against Luke’s neck, brushing my lips lightly and teasingly against his skin. He tasted so sweet, of snow and fresh air, that I could have stayed there all day, nuzzling him like that. But I pulled back, still slowly stroking Rafe’s dick, and turned to see Rafe watching Luke’s hand beneath the water, eyes wide and laser-focused. I parted my legs a little further, guiding Luke to push another finger into me, and bit my lip as he penetrated me with three digits at once. It felt good, full, as my body took a second to get used to those fingers.
Rafe leaned down to take my nipples into his mouth, one at a time, moving with care like he had been waiting all day for this. Even in the warmth of the water they grew hard at his touch, and I let my head sink back and my hand wander down Luke’s back and between his legs, taking his cock in my free hand and beginning to slowly stroke him, too. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan, utterly satisfied, as the two of them pleasured me with their hands and their mouths and their…everything. They were both hard for me, both intent on pleasing me. I couldn’t think of anything better. Luke leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine in a gesture that was oddly romantic somehow; he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who was that much into kissing but somehow that soft touch was the sweetest thing he’d ever done for me. I felt a swell of desire and love for the two of them, and knew that where we were now wasn’t going to satisfy me. No, I needed to feel them inside me. Anyway I could.
“Here.” I shifted back a few inches, against Luke, murmuring softly to let them know that I wanted something different. They obliged at once, Luke wrapping his arms around me and drawing me onto his lap; his cock nudged against my ass and I shuddered with desire. It was clear that he’d wanted this for a long time, the chance to fuck me, to take me, to have me, and his standoffish nature had me intrigued as to what kind of lover he would be, given the chance; I wanted him to fuck me but that didn’t mean I was going to let Rafe go untended to. I reached across and drew him close, kissing him deeply, pushing my tongue into his mouth and tasting him once more as I slowly grinded my hips against Luke’s cock. Fuck. Fuck. My entire body was tingling with need for them both, my brain all but blank, but for how I could do this.
“Lift up a little,” I murmured against Rafe’s mouth, and he seemed to figure out what I was going for at once; he shifted so that his body was most of the way out of the water, lifting his hips so that his cock was above the tideline, and pulled himself closer to me. At the same time, Luke seemed to have grown impatient with waiting and was pressing his cock against my slit – I could feel his head spreading me open, partin
g me, and it felt better than I could have imagined. These men…I had known sex before, but I had never known it like this, so heady with desire that it felt natural and obvious and needed. I slowly pushed myself down against Luke as I reached out for Rafe’s cock again, wrapping my fingers around it and lowering my head to his tip.
Both men let out a groan as I took them in, like they’d been waiting for this a long time. I knew how they felt. Luke’s fingers dug hard into my hips as Rafe’s cock swelled in my mouth as I kissed his tip and then took as much of him in as I could manage. His cock was thick and long, maybe the biggest of all of the Robicheaux brothers, but I was determined to manage as much of him as I could. I wanted this. I needed this.
Luke held me steady as he began to fuck me, moving with deep, slow strokes that seemed enhanced by the warmth of the water around us. He slid one arm around my waist, flattening his hand against me, and pressed his head against my back like he was craving being as close to me as he possibly could be. I knew how he felt. I just wanted to know these men, to know them better than I had come to know anyone before, to have them know me the same way. I worked my tongue up the underside of Rafe’s cock as I took him in, enjoying the uninhibited growl of pleasure that burst forth from his lips as I fucked him with my mouth. His skin was cold where he had lifted himself out of the water, contrasting with Luke’s warm, firm touch, and the dizzying combination of the two of them was making my head spin. I slid my mouth up and down on his erection, taking my time, letting him know that I was here for as long as it took. I looked up at him, into his eyes, and he reached down to brush a strand of dampened hair from my face. There was something intoxicating about seeing how much I was turning him on, seeing how much he wanted me and needed me. I didn’t pull my eyes from his as I slid back to the top of his cock, flicking my tongue across his tip a couple of times before I swallowed him again. The groan that I got for my troubles was worth it.
Her Howling Harem 1: A reverse harem fantasy (Arianna's Story) Page 10