“What about it?” Taylor finally asked. “It happened, and it isn’t going to happen again. It was a moment of weakness. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Callie squeezed her hand gently, but Taylor did pull away from her then. Callie sighed. “It was a good kiss. No, actually, it was a phenomenal kiss.”
“Phenomenal, huh?” Taylor summoned the courage to look at her despite the heat she felt in her cheeks. “Then it’s too bad it won’t be happening again.”
“It’s a damn shame,” Callie said with a grin. “I’d be more than okay with it if it were to happen again.”
“It won’t.”
“Why not?”
“Callie, please.” Taylor stood, needing to put some distance between them. She was finding it difficult to keep her wits about her when Callie was sitting so close to her.
“What? We’re both adults here, Taylor. We kissed. Why is it such a horrible thing?”
Jesus, it was far from horrible, but Taylor didn’t feel comfortable voicing her opinion on it. Callie was seemingly able to set her body on fire with just a look, and Taylor didn’t understand why. Neither of them had ever looked twice at the other before Callie had been shot. And that—Callie being shot—was why she really didn’t want to start anything with her.
“We aren’t looking for the same things, Callie. If I ever get involved again, I’m going to want it to be forever. You prefer being with a woman once or twice and then move on.”
“You don’t know what I want.” Callie sounded hurt at Taylor’s words, but Taylor wouldn’t allow it to influence her. “For your information, the last time I was with anyone was before Quinn and Grace got together. And before that, I was in a relationship for three years. I was faithful, she wasn’t. I was ready to settle down, and I still am.”
“You’re a cop. You risk your life every day.”
“I do, but I’m careful, I swear,” Callie said with a nod. She pointed to her shoulder. “This was an anomaly, Taylor. Yes, I did something stupid and should have waited for backup. And, honestly? Maybe I am a little reckless sometimes, but never when I was with Jan. Not when I had someone to come home to.”
Part of Taylor wanted to believe what she was saying, but she wasn’t about to risk her heart again. Not on someone who might never come home to her. It had almost killed her when Andrea died, and she wasn’t about to set herself up for that kind of loss again.
“There hasn’t been anyone since Andrea,” she said before she could stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. To her horror, she felt her eyes fill with tears. She decided she needed a good stiff drink. Callie didn’t follow her when she walked into the kitchen, which she was grateful for. There was no stopping the tears from falling, but there was no good reason for Callie to witness it.
She poured some whiskey into a glass and drank it all in one gulp, even though it was considerably more than just a shot. She put more in the glass and stood there looking out the window above the sink until her tears stopped. Once again, she downed it all in one drink, and this time it didn’t burn going down like it had the first time. She rinsed the glass out, put the bottle back into the cupboard above the refrigerator and made her way back out to the living room.
She sat on the other end of the couch so there was some room between them. She really needed to have more furniture. Perhaps a recliner or something. But then again, this was the first time the seating arrangements had posed a problem. Honestly, it was the first time she’d had company other than her parents.
“I didn’t know,” Callie said quietly. “I mean, I know you said you hadn’t dated, but you haven’t even kissed anyone since then?”
“No, not even a kiss,” she answered. “Until last night.”
“Shit.” Callie rested her head on the back of the couch as she spoke. “Then I’m the one who should be sorry. I really had no idea.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re the only one I’ve even wanted to kiss since then.” Taylor leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “Yet you’re exactly the type of person I swore I’d never get involved with again.”
“Because of the risk factor?”
“Yes.”
“On the bright side,” Callie said, obviously trying to lighten the mood, “Quinn will be home tomorrow, I’ll be out of your hair, and we can both get back to our regular lives.”
Really? Callie being gone was the bright side? It was amazing to think she’d grown so used to having Callie in her house, and it had only been four days. The tightness in her chest at the thought of Callie leaving surprised her almost as much as her desire to kiss her again did.
“I’m going to go to bed,” Callie said as she got to her feet.
Taylor didn’t say anything. She was afraid she’d say something she’d end up regretting, and that wouldn’t bode well for either of them. No matter how lonely she was certain she’d be, she knew Callie leaving the next day was for the best. Nothing good could possibly come from them living under the same roof any longer than they already had.
* * *
Callie showered and managed to pack up her things one-handed before she gave a last look around Taylor’s bedroom. It was a shame to think she’d likely never see it again. But, she admitted to herself, it was probably for the best. Her late best friend’s wife should probably be off limits anyway. She closed the door to the room before making her way down the hall to the kitchen, smiling when she saw Taylor sitting at the table with a box from Dunkin’ Donuts in front of her.
“As you know, I don’t cook, so this is breakfast,” she said with a smile that succeeded in doing strange things to Callie’s insides. She wondered, not for the first time, if Taylor had any idea just how beautiful she was.
“Cops and donuts,” Callie chuckled, setting her bag down near the front door. She wasn’t sure when Quinn was going to get there, but she figured the least she could do was be ready when she did. “Those references never get old.”
“I didn’t even think about that,” Taylor said, sounding as if she meant it. Only the slight upturn of her lips told Callie she was teasing.
“No, seriously, they never get old because I love donuts,” Callie assured her with a grin of her own. “Especially when they come from Dunkin’.”
“Two sugars.” Taylor pushed a large coffee toward her just as Callie took a big bite of a glazed donut.
She removed the lid and took notice of the absence of cream. Callie felt inordinately pleased to know Taylor remembered how she took her coffee.
“Breakfast of champions,” Callie said before grabbing another donut. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They ate in silence, and Callie was grateful because she didn’t know what to say. The few days she’d spent with Taylor had been better than she’d thought they would be, and in spite of everything, she felt they’d started on the road to friendship. Of course, Callie wanted more, but she wasn’t going to push. It was obvious Taylor was still struggling with life after Andrea, and Callie decided it would be best to just give her the space she needed.
They spent the day watching movies in comfortable silence, but when the doorbell rang around five in the afternoon, Callie breathed a sigh of relief. Taylor opened the door and let Quinn inside.
“Thank you for keeping an eye on her,” Callie heard her sister say before she walked out to the foyer to join them. “I hope she wasn’t too much of a pain in the ass.”
“Gee, thanks, Quinn,” Callie said.
“It was no trouble,” Taylor assured her with a small smile directed toward Callie.
“Do I owe you anything?” Quinn asked, no doubt to rile Callie up, which she succeeded in doing.
“Damn it, Quinn, I have my own money, you know,” Callie said. She picked up her bag with her good arm and headed for the door. She stopped and turned to Taylor before walking out. “Thank you again. And if I don’t see you before, Merry Christmas.”
“What are you talking about?” Taylor asked, looking conf
used. “We have a hockey game to go to on the seventeenth.”
“Yeah?” Callie smiled. When Taylor nodded, Callie felt a relief she’d never experienced before. She was inordinately happy to know Taylor wanted to see her again. “Okay then. You have my number. Let me know the details.” She gave her a quick one-armed hug and spoke quietly in her ear. “And call me if Sharon comes back.”
Callie walked out the door feeling better than she had since the night they kissed.
Chapter Fourteen
Two weeks later, Callie was in physical therapy, her stitches gone, and she was back at work on desk duty until at least after Christmas. She’d stayed with Quinn and Grace for a few days until she was able to use her arm again, and she’d deftly avoided any conversations about Taylor, but at Sunday brunch less than a week before her date to go to the hockey game with Taylor, it seemed Quinn, Grace, and her mother all decided it was time for her to talk.
“You still think Taylor hates you?” Quinn asked as they all settled in to eat.
“I think I might be wearing her down.” Callie grinned. She’d started going to the bar at least a couple of nights a week, and Taylor often sat and talked with her for at least a few minutes whenever she was there. Callie knew it hadn’t escaped Quinn’s notice, and she was surprised it had taken this long for her to say something about it.
“Just be careful,” Quinn said.
“Excuse me?” Callie met her eyes before looking first at Grace, and then her mother, who both were intensely focused on their food.
“I’m just saying.” Quinn shrugged and set her fork down. “She’s not the kind of woman you can sleep with and then walk away from. She’s not over Andrea yet.”
“Shut up, Quinn,” Callie said, fighting the irritation she felt bubbling up inside her.
“You have a date with her on Saturday, right?” Grace asked.
“It’s not a date,” Callie said, pushing her plate away. She’d lost her appetite thanks to this conversation. Despite her proclamation about it not being a date, she knew that was how she’d been looking at it. Taylor didn’t have to take her, but she’d offered. The anxiety of not knowing if Taylor was viewing it as a date was adding to the annoyance she was feeling at this unwelcome conversation.
“Are you sure about that?” her mother asked.
“Yes, I am. Someone gave her the tickets, I happened to be there when she got them, and she offered to let me go along with her. It’s not a date.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes, but Callie could tell there was something more Quinn wanted to say. She kept glancing at her, but then she’d shake her head slightly and concentrate on her food again. It was driving Callie nuts. She finally dropped her fork on her plate and pushed her chair back from the table,
“What?” she asked Quinn.
“What?” Quinn asked, sounding defensive.
“Just spit it out for God’s sake.” Callie resisted the urge to stand and tower over her big sister. Instead, she remained seated and stared at Quinn. “There’s obviously something on your mind, so just say it.”
Quinn glanced at Grace and then their mother before putting her own fork down and wiping the corner of her mouth with the napkin she then placed on the table next to her plate. She pushed her chair back and mirrored Callie’s pose.
“There was a woman at the bar last night who said I looked a lot like Taylor’s girlfriend.” Quinn arched an eyebrow. “You’re the only person I know who I look like.”
Okay, Callie had not been expecting that. Her first thought was to be pissed because Sharon was there again, but she took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose in an attempt to calm herself.
“Did she say anything else?”
“Are you kidding me?” Quinn asked. “That isn’t enough?”
“Did you tell Taylor about it?”
Quinn just stared at her, and Callie knew she was growing impatient. If Taylor hadn’t explained to Quinn what happened, then was it really her place to divulge the information? Or had Quinn not said anything to her about it? Callie was reluctant to offer up too many details without first knowing how much Quinn knew.
“Will you just answer me, please?” Callie asked in a normal tone, which she hoped would signal to Quinn this was something serious. “You didn’t tell her Taylor doesn’t have a girlfriend, did you?”
“Callie, what the hell’s going on?” Quinn asked, sounding concerned. “I went along with it. I figured if Taylor wanted this woman to think she had a girlfriend, then there must be a good reason. Is it true? Are you two seeing each other?”
“No, we aren’t.” Callie risked a look in Grace’s direction and wasn’t surprised to find she and their mother both were watching this exchange with rapt interest. Callie sighed. She was going to have to give Quinn something.
“This woman—Sharon—first showed up there the night after Thanksgiving, and she was coming on to Taylor. I decided to go to the bar with her on Saturday. Sharon showed up again, and I pretended to be Taylor’s girlfriend to get her to back off.” Callie moved her chair closer to the table then and picked up her fork again. “Why didn’t you ask Taylor about it?”
“She’d already gone home for the night. I didn’t think it was worth calling her about when I knew I’d be seeing you this morning. Is this something we need to worry about?”
“I don’t know,” Callie replied. She wished to God she did know because she felt the need to protect Taylor, and that scared the hell out of her.
* * *
Taylor was surprised to find Quinn on her doorstep when she returned from the grocery store. She gathered her keys and her phone before heading up to the porch. The food would be fine in the car for a bit since it was barely above freezing outside.
“Hey, Quinn,” she said as she gave her a quick hug. “What brings you here?”
“Nothing much,” Quinn answered with a shrug. “I just wanted to talk about something I learned from Callie this morning at brunch.”
Taylor held her breath as she unlocked the door and motioned for her to go on in ahead of her. She’d fought with herself over whether to tell Quinn about Sharon, but it had begun to look as though she wasn’t going to come back to the bar. Taylor figured that was what this had to be about because there’s no way Callie would have told her about the kiss, right? God, how mortifying would that be?
“Why didn’t you tell me about Sharon?” Quinn asked when they were seated at the kitchen table, each with a beer in front of them. Quinn looked hurt, but Taylor couldn’t concentrate on someone else’s feelings right now. All she’d been able to think about lately was Callie, and it unnerved her a bit, to say the least.
“I didn’t purposely not tell you about her; it just never came up. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of weeks, and I assumed it was over.” Taylor took a drink of her beer but never broke eye contact with Quinn. “I guess I was wrong?”
“She came in last night after you went home.”
“What did she say?”
“She said I looked a lot like your girlfriend.” When Taylor didn’t say anything in response, mostly because she hadn’t a clue what to say since she wasn’t sure how much information Callie had divulged, Quinn went on. “I told her it was probably my sister, Callie. What’s going on, Taylor?”
Taylor hesitated for only a fraction of a second before telling her everything. There was no need to hold anything back from her. Except for the kiss, which was something she wanted to keep just for herself. Especially if nothing ever came from it. When she was done with the story, she felt exhausted.
“Wow, so Callie kind of came to your rescue.”
“I don’t need anyone to come to my rescue,” Taylor assured her.
“No, I know, but Callie thinks you hate her.”
“Yeah, we talked about that.” Taylor smiled but then turned serious when she saw the look of concern on Quinn’s face. “It’s fine. We’re good now.”
“Cool,” Quinn said, sounding skeptical
. “You have a date with her this weekend.”
Taylor had been taking another swig of her beer when those words were thrown out there, and she almost spit it all over Quinn. Instead, she managed to keep it in her mouth, but she began to choke on it. She waved Quinn off when she started to stand, and when she finally regained her composure, she shook her head.
“A date? Is that what Callie said?”
“No, she denied it.” Quinn grinned. “I just wanted to find out if you thought it was a date. I think I got my answer.”
They talked for a while longer, and when Quinn left, Taylor had the strange urge to call Callie. She wanted to hear her voice. She didn’t understand why she felt so drawn to her seemingly out of the blue, and again, it was unnerving. She put the groceries away, left her phone on the kitchen counter intentionally so she wouldn’t be tempted to call Callie, and went to the living room where she spent the rest of the evening watching television.
And thinking about Saturday night.
Which really made no sense to her. She’d actually felt disappointment when Quinn said Callie denied the hockey game they were going to was a date. After her admission that there’d been no one since Andrea’s death, it was obvious Callie was backing off. Giving her room, so to speak. And for some reason, Taylor wasn’t entirely happy about it.
“God, how much more wishy-washy can I be?” she said out loud. Blaze got up from where he was sleeping on the floor in front of the couch and whined softly. “Why does she have this effect on me, boy? She’s a cop. I cannot get involved with a cop. Not to mention, she was your mommy’s best friend.”
Blaze rested his head on her thigh, and she absently rubbed his ears while trying to not think about Callie.
“I am so screwed.”
Chapter Fifteen
Callie was trying her best to sleep on Wednesday night, three nights before they were supposed to go to the hockey game. She hadn’t gone back to the bar since Quinn told her Sharon had shown up there again. She’d made Quinn promise to call her if she did, and she trusted Taylor would have let her know if she wanted Callie’s help with her on a night Quinn was off.
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