by Logan Jacobs
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” the Shadow Knight rasped.
“Where can we find Mayhem?” Norma asked.
“You don’t belong in this line of work, Nora,” he sneered. His use of that particular incorrect name jolted me. It was the same thing that Dan Slade had been calling Norma all day yesterday, and she had been too shy to correct him. And not only that, Shadow Knight had never been introduced to her, so how did he know her name unless he was actually Dan Slade?
“Her name is actually Norma,” Miles corrected as he smirked at me.
“Doesn’t matter,” Shadow Knight scoffed, “and it doesn’t matter how hard you try to impress your boss, you’ll never be worthy. You’re barely even a super.”
Norma turned bright red and couldn’t get a response out.
“How about you fuck yourself?” Miles hissed at the other man, and I could see that things were about to get out of hand. I knew that my boyfriend had a bit of a soft spot for Norma, like she was his kid sister, and anyone who made fun of her would catch his wrath.
“Brazen words for someone who--” Shadow Knight started to say, but Miles lunged forward and reached for the other man’s mask.
The Shadow Knight dodged, whipped around, and sort of bounced away. He was running, but his boots put a comical spring in his step that exaggerated each stride. Miles didn’t chase him, just stared after him and shook his head.
Then the three of us watched the dark cloaked man bound up the side of the building like some sort of jumping spider. His feathers vibrated with each of his leaps, and then he was on the rooftop and away.
“Sooooo, we aren’t going to chase after him?” Norma asked.
“Naw,” Miles said with a casual shrug. “We got what we wanted out of him. I’d prefer not to bother talking to him anymore.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know he’d be that much of an asshole-- I mean, I knew he was an asshole, but not that he’d be one to us,” I clarified. Maybe it had been arrogant of me to assume that we were special, or that the Shadow Knight would recognize us as such. But Miles was world famous for his inventing prowess even among people who had no idea about his latest crime fighting hobby, and my performance as a Warden had always been exceptionally well reviewed.
“Don’t apologize,” Miles said. “If it really is Mayhem who took the nanobots, that’s good news.”
“What if he was lying about that?” Norma asked as she glanced back toward where Shadow Knight had climbed up the building.
She looked a little downcast, and I hoped she wasn’t letting the Shadow Knight’s words get to her, but knowing her she probably was. She tended to be skeptical of compliments and to take insults as gospel.
“Er. He wasn’t,” I said. “Lying, I mean. About that, or about the fact that we’d be dead if The Maniac wanted us dead. So it’s a good thing that we don’t need to take on The Maniac yet.”
“We’ll call Mayhem our warm-up act,” Miles said.
“I don’t know why the Shadow Knight was so hostile,” I sighed.
I knew that back in Pinnacle City, some opinion had turned against me since I left The Wardens and joined up with Miles. Some people interpreted that as “turning to the dark side” or something, but those were people who had no idea about the full details of the situation. If anything, I thought the Shadow Knight would have sympathized with my move. He himself operated independently. There was no official superhero organization in Grayville, and the Shadow Knight had been quoted on several occasions as stating that he preferred it that way. He preferred to work alone and had a lot of scorn for superheroes who went too “commercial.” I had always respected that about him. But maybe, he just had a lot of scorn for everyone who wasn’t him, even when the scorn wasn’t warranted.
“Jealousy,” Norma said.
“She’s right,” Miles said. “He doesn’t want new guys showing up in town who might eventually overshadow him.”
“Overshadow?” I asked as I laughed a bit at the pun. “He has zero sense of humor.”
“That’s for damn sure,” Miles said. “At least Dan Slade goes to the effort to fake laugh sometimes. And I bet he pays people to laugh at his jokes.”
“There is the ‘Nora’ thing, and the fact that he lied about having knowledge of supervillains,” I acknowledged. “Those are both pretty suspicious, I’ll give you that. But Dan Slade and the Shadow Knight still seem like complete polar opposites. The Shadow Knight went out of his way to be verbally cruel and has an arrogant lone wolf attitude. Whereas Dan Slade is overly nice and surrounds himself with company that he doesn’t seem to have anything more than a superficial connection with.”
“A lot of people call me Nora,” Norma said glumly. “Or Irma. … Or, you know, Hannah, or Annie, or Emily. Whatever. It’s okay.”
“I think it’s on purpose,” Miles said to me, still referring to the contrast between Slade’s two personas, not to Norma’s remark. “I think he does it so that no one will suspect his superhero identity, but I think the Shadow Knight is closer to his real self. It’s as the playboy entrepreneur that he’s actually playing a role. I mean, did you see him around all those girls on the yacht? He invited them there almost as props. But he wasn’t paying them any attention, even though most of them were objectively gorgeous. He was really only focused on business, meaning that he wanted to know my business, as his rival who’d showed up unexpectedly in town.”
“Maybe he’s gay,” I said with a shrug.
“I don’t think he’s interested in me that way, either,” Miles said. “I don’t think he’s genuinely interested in anyone that way. The parade of models and actresses is all just for show. He defines himself as the Shadow Knight. A creature of cold willpower, unimpeachable honor, and single-minded drive.”
“Well, he chose the wrong symbol then,” Norma said. “Aren’t crows supposed to be mischievous tricksters? And scavengers? They’re not exactly haughty elitists.”
“True,” Miles said.
“Hey, have you ever thought of adopting a symbol?” I asked Miles.
“Nope,” he said firmly. “I am not a superhero, and I will never be one. So I don’t need a character or a mask. My own damn face is the last thing that every supervillain I defeat will see.”
“But what if you get in legal trouble?” I asked. “I mean, I’ve never needed a disguise, but that was because I was a Warden. Wardens have virtual immunity from prosecution.”
“We’ve talked about this,” Miles said. “You don’t need to worry. For better or worse, the justice system is rather kind to billionaires.” He looked rather smug about it.
“And, apparently, to supervillains,” Norma said dryly.
Miles winked at her.
“They usually do get life sentences, it’s just that their abilities and their connections make it kind of hard to contain them,” I pointed out.
“Abilities and connections can’t bring you back from the dead, though,” Miles said. “As far as I know, anyway. If a supervillain shows up with that ability, well, then, I guess we’re all fucked.”
“Dunno,” Norma said. “Could be good for business. I mean the demand for zombie-fighting gear would skyrocket, and a lot of your products would be suitable for that. And a lot of the other potential suppliers would probably get wiped out since they don’t have a bunker like The Cellar.”
“I love your optimism,” Miles chuckled. “Now let’s go home and get something to eat.”
We started walking back to the house. When we got there, we found that Aileen had prepared a hearty brunch for us with pancakes, bacon, sausages, loads of scrambled eggs, fresh cut fruit, and fresh squeezed orange juice. And coffee, black for Miles and me and frothy with whipped cream for Norma. Once we started eating, it put us in a better mood.
“Aileen, I want you to pull up Mayhem’s criminal record, media mentions, and his associates again,” Miles ordered.
“Of course,” she said. “I’ve done some more research, and I can tell you w
here three of his past lairs were. I can tell you his mother’s maiden name. I can tell you about the first bullying incident he ever got suspended for, but I can’t tell you where he is at this moment. He moves around a lot. And he’s actually rather difficult to predict because his moves are not rational.”
I knew Aileen didn’t have emotions or a sense of pride or anything like that, but she still sounded just a tinge frustrated and maybe a bit defensive about her inability to provide the most critical piece of information that Miles needed. I still wasn’t sure whether I liked her the most or the least in moments when she seemed the most deceptively human.
“Well, start hacking into data that’s not publicly accessible, then,” Miles said as he pushed his plate away.
“I’m gonna… take a walk, I think,” I said.
Miles looked over at me and was probably going to ask if I wanted company, but then he read my expression and just nodded.
I put my dirty dishes in the sink for Aileen, who used dish gloves and an apron so that the water wouldn’t damage her. It was a little comical to see her dressed up like that, but also unnerved me slightly, because it reminded me that eventually she could be fully disguised as human and no one but Miles, Norma, and me would be able to tell the difference.
Then I went upstairs, got changed, and came back downstairs in my supersuit. I always felt better wearing it. In my Warden one, I’d never felt quite like myself, but this gray one was like a second skin to me, and I had practiced enough to know all its gadgets.
Miles barely blinked when he saw me in the suit, since he’d already surmised what I meant by taking a walk, but Norma’s eyes widened, and she looked over at Miles to see if he’d explain. I raised a hand in a wave goodbye to both of them and walked out the door.
I missed being in Pinnacle City partly because the C.D.S. made my job so much easier. The city had rejected Miles’ offer to give it to all the superheroes, but I had a mobile app version installed on my phone, and it allowed me to easily just head from the nearest red dot to the next and wipe out as much of the vast constellation as I could.
In Grayville I was going to have to patrol for crime the old-fashioned way.
It was a bit before lunch time, and I knew that I should be patrolling at night, but I figured just walking around the streets in the day time would keep my mind off things, and maybe I might catch some criminal. The odds were probably slim, but travel was quick enough once I got near some building and was able to climb up on some rooftops and then leap between them. I quickly made my way block by block over to Grayville’s poorest and most dangerous neighborhoods with the least adequate police presence.
The poorer areas of the city were mixed use with residential homes and factory buildings, so I had to hop back down onto the street and walk on the sidewalk a bit to get into the thick of the ghetto.
There weren’t a lot of people out, but those who were walking the streets stared at me in my suit as if they had never seen a woman before, and I got a lot of whistles and comments.
“Hey baby, why you in such a hurry? Come here, come talk to me.”
“Damn! You a model or something? You gotta be the prettiest girl I ever saw.”
“Hey dude, check this out, check out this chick’s ass, this right here, this is what I live for.”
I started putting some extra swing in my strut. Catcalling wasn’t a crime. I didn’t give a fuck if they looked or talked. But my hope was that one of them would try to grope me or even just grab my arm to stop me. Then the fun could start.
None of them did that day, however. Maybe something in my expression warned them off, or maybe it was just my build. I didn’t have titanic category superstrength, mine was deceptively many times greater than proportionate to my frame, but I didn’t exactly look fragile either. I looked like a pro athlete at the least, not an easy target despite my sex. For that reason, sometimes on patrol in Pinnacle City, I would dress up in frilly dresses or puffy coats or other outfits that obscured my body to try to attract the kind of criminals that liked to prey on the weakest. I would glue my eyes to my phone, I would glance back and forth from maps, I would take timid little girl steps and bite my lip in worry.
But today wasn’t the day for those kinds of games. I didn’t feel like hiding. I was okay with Grayville seeing my face and the real me. I was okay with the Shadow Knight knowing that I was in town and that I was still active as a superhero. And I wanted him to know what a “pathetic amateur” could do.
My first chance to get a bit of exercise was when I saw a teenage girl half a block ahead of me, accompanied by her boyfriend, reach into a passing woman’s purse and take her wallet out. I sprinted up, passed them, and planted myself on the sidewalk in front of them.
“Give it back,” I commanded.
The woman looked bewildered, but the two teenagers looked wary and defiant.
The girl glanced at her boyfriend, evidently determined that he was going to back her up, and asked me, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“No we won’t, and you better get out of our faces, bitch,” growled her boyfriend, who had hit his growth spurt early and was already the size of a full-grown man but still had a sullen teenage face.
He put his hand on the pickpocket’s shoulder and attempted to push past me. The little brat gave me a smug expression as if she didn’t think I’d dare mess with her accomplice.
I sighed.
So, I punched the boy in the face. It was actually more of a slap, but I could deadlift over two thousand pounds, so his nose turned into jelly instantly, and his brain probably bounced around in his skull like a rubber ball.
He screamed as he fell to the sidewalk, and I grabbed the girl, easily bent her head down with my forearm across the back of her neck, and used my other hand to twist her arm up high past her back.
“Stop! Stop!” she screamed. “I’ll give it back! Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you can’t just as-assault p-people like that.”
I released her and stared at her expectantly.
With the mascara now dripping down her cheeks, she produced the wallet and threw it on the sidewalk.
Normally, I would have let that slide, but I was already in a mood, and I didn’t like the attitude these kids had.
As the pickpocket turned to run off, I grabbed her wrist again and hissed, “Pick it up.”
She hesitated, looked at me, and then she looked over at her boyfriend, but his face was a bloody mess, and he was trying to roll over onto his stomach so he could push himself up. I might have actually hit him a bit too hard because I noticed a bit of blood coming out of his ears.
“Hand it to its rightful owner,” I commanded after the girl picked up the wallet.
“Okay.” She held it out the shocked woman clutching her purse and standing several yards back. The woman accepted her wallet back in a trembling hand.
I dropped the girl’s wrist like it was something dirty, and she clutched the arm I had twisted behind her back and looked at me reproachfully as if she expected me to feel guilty.
“I could sue you!” she squealed.
“Get out of here before I fuck up your face too,” I snarled.
These were minors. I knew I was supposed to feel extra compassion for them and assume that they hadn’t had the right kind of parental guidance and that maybe they’d grow up to become upstanding citizens. But the way they were acting like I was the one who had wronged them, as if they were entitled to rob random strangers and get away with it, made me more inclined to just consider them rotten human beings who unfortunately had a majority of their natural lifespans still remaining.
“Crazy bitch!” the boyfriend yelled over his shoulder as soon as he manged to stand, and then the two of them had scurried away down the street.
I turned to their victim and asked, “Are you okay?”
She took a shuddering breath, nervously brushed her hair behind her ear, and nodded her head. “Yes. Thank you. Gosh, I didn’t even see them there.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Do you need me to escort you somewhere?”
“N-no, that’s okay,” she said as she smiled at me. “I’m meeting my husband a block away. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost my wallet. It has my cards, my ID, everything in it.”
“No problem,” I said. “Have a nice day.”
“You too! Um… what’s your name, by the way?”
“I’m Dynamo,” I replied. “What’s your name?”
“Linda,” she said. “Linda Tucker. Um, nice to meet you. Thank you for, uh, serving Grayville. We are lucky to have you.”
Then she trotted away on her high-heeled shoes before I could tell her that I didn’t live there. If this was Pinnacle City, she would have probably known who I was and asked me why I wasn’t with The Wardens, or she would have asked me if I knew Optimo.
I spent the next fifteen minutes walking through the poorer parts of the city. There were shattered glass windows that had rocks thrown through them, some with bullet holes that still hadn’t been replaced, and many that were boarded up with cheap plywood. I saw discarded shoes and discarded panties in the street which might have gotten there innocently, but might have had sordid stories behind them. There was litter everywhere, and I saw several used needles lying among it. One overhead pass was graffitied with the message, “FUCK U SK!” I wondered if it referred to the Shadow Knight. Other graffiti messages advocated violence against cops, capitalism, and society, detailed the authors’ sexual preferences, and communicated nihilistic philosophies.
Then I saw a man in saggy jeans pushing a pistol through the window of a parked car and yelling at the driver to get out and surrender his keys. My heart gave a happy little jump, and I sprinted toward him.
“Drop your gun!” I yelled as closed in on his position. I wasn’t carrying a weapon, since I hardly needed one to deal with any criminals short of supervillains, and I didn’t want to get stopped by law enforcement, but I did have a taser in the suit that I could use if I wanted to take someone out peacefully.
I wasn’t really in the mood for that. I kind of wanted to beat people up today.