by Blue Saffire
“The next day at school Chris pretended nothing happened and started to avoid me. Two days later I was called to the office. The principle and the counselor told me that my parents were in a plane crash. I broke down and shut everyone out. Linc was the only one that was able to get through to me, because he was just there. He didn’t push and didn’t expect anything from me. He was just there.
“I stopped making music and wouldn’t go near the studio because it all just reminded me of my dad. I was a daddy’s girl. Not having him around hurt too much to explain. I never wanted to have another man in my life that would leave me like that again. I just felt like – like if he loved me as much as he said he would never have left me. I know that sounds silly and that he didn’t walk out of my life but it still hurt,” I wipe at the tears with my napkin and Nolan pulls me closer to him.
“It’s not silly. I think I understand what you mean. I won’t pretend to understand what it is like to lose my world all at once like that but I was a lot older than Mandy and Chris when we lost our mom and it was really hard.”
Our food comes and we are silent for a while. Nolan looks to be in deep thought for a while before he wipes his mouth and sits back. I look at him bracing myself for his next words.
“So you had a crush on Chris,” he says.
I had a feeling he was not going to let that pass. “Yeah, it was no big deal. He was my best friend’s older brother that I had something in common with.”
“So is this thing with you and me like that,” Nolan asks looking me squarely in the eyes.
“No, this is nothing like that. And I sure do hope you aren’t going to pretend you never kissed me.”
“Baby, I plan to wear out my welcome on those pretty little lips of yours,” he laughs and bends to nip at my lips.
“I don’t think you can ever wear out your welcome here,” I breathe.
He goes back to eating this time asking less complicated questions. We talk a little about his mom and dad. Things he remembers about his mom and the stuff he wishes Mandy and Chris could remember. We get into music and the conversation becomes really relaxed.
We are laughing about some of the names the band went through before they settled on True Life when Linc walks up to our table. Nolan’s face twists like he smells something funny but he stays quiet once Linc arrives.
“You ready kiddo. Thought we could get a head start,” Linc smiles at me.
“I guess,” I say looking up at Nolan questioningly.
Nolan leans in crushing his lips to mine as if it is our last kiss. He drinks from my mouth pulling a moan from deep inside me. I feel a warmth in my belly I’ve never felt before. I have my fingers clenching his t-shirt tightly.
“I’ll be waiting for you,” he murmurs into my ear and stands so I can get out of the booth.
CHAPTER Eleven
It feels great to be riding with Linc. It has been too long. His brother crashing his bike had put an end to our Saturday morning rides. This is me and Linc. We don’t have to talk, pretend or be anything other than who we are. Linc had taught me how to ride in hopes I would find a new love when I wouldn’t dare to think about music.
We always make up this way. We go for a ride and Linc treats me to ice cream to make up for whatever needs fixing. We are ripping through exits letting the road take our problems away and I realize I haven’t been this happy in a really long time.
Things feel like they are about to fall into place with Linc and things with Nolan are perfect. I have a boyfriend and I am sure I am falling for him. And my first love is back in my life, music. Things are turning out perfect.
Linc waves me toward the next rest stop and I signal to follow him off the road. I look to see I have about a half tank and can stand to fill up. Linc pulls into the gas station and pulls off his helmet looking back at me with a smile.
“Hey babe,” he calls back. “I got the gas you want to go get something to drink?”
“Sure,” I sing and swing off my bike.
When I come back out with two waters Linc is topping off my bike. I pass him the water and reach for my helmet. Linc reaches for my hand to stop me and I look up at him.
“Hey they have ice cream in that place,” he nods in the direction of the restaurant. “What do you say? We have a pretty good head start. You call Mandy and let her know we’ll catch up with them. I know where the guys decided to stop for the night.”
“Um…I guess, but let me text Rage first. I don’t want him to worry.”
“You guys are pretty serious huh,” Linc asks sadly.
“It’s getting that way. Yeah,” I say as gently as I can.
I take out my phone starting to text before this gets anymore awkward.
~B~
“Dude, you are whipped already,” Crush chuckles. “They are riding which means no talking, no contact. She is on her own bike. Relax.”
I have been sitting on the bus with a knot in my chest for the last two hours. I tried sleeping, watching movies, even joking with the guys has proved to be useless. I want my girl in my arms. I tried not to think about who she is with but I would be lying to say it doesn’t bother me.
“I hope you know I really am sorry Rage,” Mandy starts for the ninety-ninth time.
“Yeah, I got how sorry you are and for the record I am fine,” I grumble.
“Yeah sure, and I am volunteering to unload all by myself at the next gig,” Sleep laughs.
“Whatever,” I chuckle and throw a pillow at him.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Mitch says after swallowing back his beer.
“Right, exactly why I am not worried, can you all drop it,” I growl.
Just then my phone chirps with a text. I pull my phone out and smile when I see Kitty’s face. It is a pic I took one rehearsal when no one was looking. My smile fades fast when I read the text.
Kitty: Stopping for ice cream. Hope that’s cool.
Me: What happened to meeting up at rest stop?
Kitty: Linc knows where the guys plan to call it a night. We’ll catch up to you guys soon.
Me: Okay.
Kitty: See you soon. I’ll be in your arms and your bed tonight. xoxo
I am not happy about them stopping somewhere but my girl knows me well. She said just what I needed to hear not to completely lose it. I have already talked my guilty sister into letting me take the bedroom with Kitty. I smile and text her back.
Me: Can’t wait baby.
~B~
It is after midnight when we make it to the bus. The lights are out except for one light in the front of the bus which lets us know everyone is sleeping. We don’t want to wake anyone and Linc still wants to talk so we park the bikes and get comfortable using our bikes for seats.
“I miss this,” I said to Linc.
“Yeah, me too Kit,” he says warmly. His head is back as he looks up at the stars. He really is gorgeous. If I didn’t see him like a brother I am sure I would swoon from his good looks like everyone else.
“Are we okay?” I ask staring at his profile.
“I won’t lie and say my feelings miraculously changed but I think we are okay,” Linc says while searching my face.
“I didn’t think your feelings changed Linc. I just hoped that you were finally ready to except mine.”
“Why him Kit? I mean he is no different from me. You once said we can’t be together because of all the girls I’ve been with and you don’t think I can commit to you. He’s the lead singer in a band. I am sure he is getting as much as I am, so why him?”
“I don’t know Linc. He is different. I don’t know how to explain it but he just is. I know he probably has been with tons of girls but I – I want to try,” I try to explain.
“He doesn’t deserve you Kit, he is going to hurt you, babe.”
“Don’t Linc, don’t do this to me. I want to trust him, I want to try, please don’t do this,” I plead.
“Has he shown you he is worth
trusting?” Linc asks with more heat than I expect. “I have, I have shown you over and over that you can trust me Kit. Has he?”
“Linc, is this why you came here? If it is then you can turn back and go home. I need a friend not someone that is going to make me feel like I am making the biggest mistake of my life by finally falling in love with someone,” I bark out at him.
Linc blinks back at me a few times like I have smacked him across the face. He gets up off his bike and comes closer to me. I don’t move fast enough to keep him from trapping me. I cross my arms over my chest. The night has gotten cooler and I didn’t wear a jacket. Linc lifts my face to look up at him.
“You’re in love with him,” Linc asks as he searches my face.
I shrug my shoulders and pull my face away. “I’m falling,” I say softly.
Linc sighs and places his forehead to the side of my face. “Okay, Kit, I’m sorry. I’ll back off. I just want to see you happy,” Linc exhales noisily and kisses the top of my head.
“I think I better go inside. It’s late and we have our first stop. I should get some sleep,” I murmur and push past him. He catches my arm and I turn.
“We’re good Kit, I promise,” he says then releases me.
~B~
I heard their bikes come in almost twenty minutes ago. I don’t want to look like a stalker so I haven’t run outside. I want to give her the space she needs, but I am seconds off of rushing out there to see what is going on. The bus is eerily quiet with everyone else sleeping.
I know I am not getting any sleep until my girl is in my arms like she promised. I trust Kitty, it is that douchebag I don’t trust. I see the way he looks at her. He thinks somehow she’s his and he could never be so wrong. I appreciate that he was there for her during a time where she really needed someone but that was then and this is now. Now, Kitty has me and she is mine.
I punch the pillow and growl. That’s when I hear the noise coming from the front of the bus. A few moments later Kitty pushes the door open gently and closes it back. She is trying to be as quiet as she can as she pulls off her boots and wiggles out of her jeans. Instead of going to get some of her things to put on she picks up the t-shirt I had worn earlier and tossed.
Once she is in my shirt she climbs under the covers with her back to me. I think about just letting her fall asleep until I hear her sniffling. All I can think about is that jerk with his hands on my girl.
“What’s wrong baby,” I whisper into her ear as I wrap her in my arms.
“Nothing, I’m fine go back to sleep,” she replies.
“Baby, I am not going to sleep with you crying. Tell me what’s wrong,” I say losing my patience.
“It’s nothing Rage,” she says coolly.
“Yeah baby, it is something when you are calling me Rage and now you sound pissed at me.”
“I sound pissed because I don’t want to talk about it Nolan, please.”
“Fine, you don’t want to talk to me about it. I can go out there and beat it out of the person I am sure is behind the reason,” I growl and flung the covers off.
“Nolan stop,” she calls, jumps from the bed and stands in front of me. “It’s nothing. It’s over and I really just want to go to bed. Can you just hold me and make me feel safe and happy, because that is what I need Nolan, please baby.”
I puff out the anger running through me as I search her face in the light from the TV. I wipe the tears that are still spilling over. I’ll kick that jerks ass later, right now she comes first. I lean down lifting her in my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist and buries her face in my neck. Climbing back in bed I lie on my back and pull the covers over us as she curls into my chest.
“Thank you,” she sniffles into my neck.
“Anytime baby, I’m here when you are ready to talk,” I kiss the top of her head and hold her until her breathing evens out, rubbing circles on her back.
CHAPTER Twelve
Things with Linc have gone back to normal, well somewhat normal over the past two weeks. We haven’t gone on any other rides alone since that night. The guys usually join us and Mandy jumps on the back of whoever is offering their bike. Most times she asks Linc before the rest of the guys offer. I have been finding myself on the back of my own bike a lot lately, which I don’t mind. I love the feel of having my arms wrapped around Nolan, I think he likes it too.
Things have been amazing between us. The groupies aren’t too happy about Nolan having a girlfriend but he pays them no mind. He always makes me feel like I am the only girl in the room. There is this one girl Jess that seems to be at most our shows. Mandy said she has been following the band for a while. She has been really nice to me the few times I have interacted with her, but I would swear there is something more between her and Nolan. I’m just too chicken to ask him about it.
The shows have been going great. Nolan and I have been doing more duets and the crowd eats that up. The whole band is really into the zone and excited about how well we are getting along.
“Kitty, come here,” Nolan calls from the front of the bus. Mandy and I were watching TV and painting our nails for something to do. It has been hours since we have stopped and had fresh air. The guys have been up front laughing and joking and every now and then you hear drumming on the table or the strumming of a guitar.
“My toes are wet,” I call back.
I can hear him huff and then the padding of his feet as he starts for the back of the bus. Mandy looks over at me and rolls her eyes, I swat her and we both start to giggle. Nolan appears with a smile on his face and places his arms above his head in the door frame.
I gasp to myself. How did I get so lucky to have this man as mine? Watching his muscles ripple in those huge arms of his has my mouth watering. His shirt has lifted to reveal those priceless abs. Thoughts of licking my way up to his pecs and across his nipple rings wreak havoc in my brain. I get lost in my lust filled thoughts as I look up at his gorgeous face.
“What’s so funny,” he croons.
“You,” Mandy laughs. “You do know there are like five other people you can harass for five minutes while I get some time with Kitty.”
“For your information the band wants to talk to Kitty,” Nolan grins at Mandy and steps into the room. “But I think now that I’m here I kind of do miss her.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and leans down to grab my ankles as he climbs on the bed. I try pushing at his huge chest as I laugh.
“Nolan, you’re going to mess up my nails,” I squeal, as he starts to kiss my neck and growls at me playfully.
“Then I’ll paint them over for you,” he chuckles. “Do you miss me, baby?” He tugs at my ear with his teeth then trails kisses down my jaw.
“I’d tell you two to get a room but we are in it,” Mandy grumbles and pushes at Nolan’s shoulders. “Stop molesting my friend.”
“Your friend is not complaining,” Nolan laughs and nips at my shoulder. Grabbing my waist firmly he rises from the bed and flips me placing me on his lap as if I weigh nothing. “Well, did you,” he breathes into my neck as he nuzzles it.
“Yes, I missed you,” I gasp when his teeth sink into my flesh. “Nolan.”
“Yeah baby,” he chuckles.
“Oh you two are impossible,” Mandy huffs. “Girls time has been officially ruined.”
“Love you too, sis,” he croons, “band meeting.” He bellows out as he lifts me in his arms and carries me to the front of the bus.
I laugh and squeal as he nips at my lips while carrying me. He flops on the couch next to Sleep, pulling me down with him onto his lap. The guys just smile at us shaking their heads. Linc is sitting at the table next to Crush with a sour look on his face trying his best to wipe it off.
“You could have offered to come back for me big brother so my toes don’t get ruined,” Mandy grumbles as she wobbles forward on her heels.
“And leave Kitty. Dream on,” Crush teases. “I swear I don’t know what they are going to do when we get back home.”
&nbs
p; “Let’s just make it through this meeting,” Nolan murmurs tossing a pillow at Chris. “We want to make sure the set for the A&R is great. So I am thinking we can do the stuff we’ve been working with but it might be good for me and Kitty to start writing something together.
I start to bounce on his lap. I am so excited to write something with Nolan. He had been sort of standoffish about it before. “I think that’s great. I would love to write something with you,” I gush.
“Yeah, I said that would be awesome,” Mitch nods. “I was thinking we could even add a song where you play the drums. You know for something more interesting. You know to let our fans know we have diversity in our playing.”
I stiffen at the mention of my playing the drums and both Linc and Chris tense up. Nolan tightens his hold on me but everything around me seems to go still. I open my mouth a few times to speak but nothing comes out. Linc curses under his breath and I see Mandy gnawing on her just dried finger nails.
“I told you it was a bad idea,” Linc hisses. “She’s not ready for that.”
I shake my head and straighten my shoulders. “I can do it. I’ve played a little with Crush when we were writing. I- I want to try. I have to.”
“That’s my girl,” Nolan murmurs in my ear.
Linc just snorts and murmurs, “Unbelievable,” before turning to look out at the road and ignoring us all as we wrap up our meeting with the small changes everyone wants to make.
~B~
Linc thinks he is the authority on what is best for my girl. He always has to add his two cents. I was so proud of her today when she agreed to play the drums live. I understand he is just looking out for her sometimes but dude back the fuck off.