My Body-Mine

by Blakely Bennett

  I did worry about Janice, and how Marcello planned to rectify the situation. Would he send her to Matt again? They had an event coming up on Saturday, and I prayed that being the only one to go with Marcello would make her feel more secure.

  I had to admit that signing the contract had been the right next step in our relationship. I liked knowing I would not be compelled to attend the party.

  Thoroughly exhausted, I looked forward to a deep, restful sleep. Chase and I wouldn’t be running together until the afternoon, and I hoped to have something from the publisher to review before then.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The next day, after retrieving a yogurt and a banana from the kitchen, I loaded up my laptop and checked my email.

  To: Jane.Stiles@gmail.com

  From: Claudia@seductionpress.com

  Subject: Falling Through The Rabbit Hole, a Memoir

  Jane,

  I’ve attached the mockup cover for the book and we are open to feedback. I’ve also attached the manuscript with my edits. Please review and track any changes in Word. Have it back to me within a week.

  A few of the authors from Seduction Press will be attending an erotic writers’ event in a month and there is a party on the final night that you could attend. It is not a requirement. We may have review copies available by then which you could hand out, but we will have to see how the timing works out.

  Please let me know if you have any questions.

  Regards,

  Claudia

  I clicked to download the cover first. We’d had some previous dialogue regarding what I had in mind and I smiled, pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

  A woman in profile with her ankles tied together and wrists bound behind her stood at the edge of a hole in the ground, surrounded by a flowering meadow. She stared at the opening below her as the front half of her feet hung over the edge. She had long flowing tresses and wore a dress that waved in the wind behind her. Falling Through The Rabbit Hole lined the top of the book with A Memoir, in a smaller font size, below. My pen name ran across the bottom. The cover fit the title and the feel of the book, leaving me giddy and scared at the same time. Somehow, seeing the front cover with my pen name on it made getting published seem more real.

  Next I downloaded the document and began surveying the edits. Hours passed as I slowly reviewed all the changes. Most had to do with sentence structure, which enhanced the flow of the read. All in all, I thought the editor did a great job. It would take me days to go through the manuscript, and I planned to read the story twice before sending it back.

  Around 3:30 p.m. that same day, I heard loud voices in the entryway of the house. My stress level instantly rose. Please, please, please, I thought to myself. Please don’t let this be what I think it is.

  I wanted to be out in the living room so I could understand what Marcello and Janice argued about, but somehow I figured it would reach me soon enough. No longer able to focus on the edits, I saved the document and backed it up on the flash drive.

  I snuck down the hall to the kitchen in the opposite direction and made myself half of a turkey sandwich. Motivated by the escalating controversy outside my room, I changed into my running garb. As I tied my sneakers, I willed Marcello and Janice to travel deeper into the house so I could tiptoe past them out the door. No such luck.

  The not so unexpected pounding on my door still startled me.

  “Yes?” I said.

  Marcello opened my door and fumed, “I need to talk to you.”

  I crossed my arms in front of me in self-defense. “Ummm … okay, but maybe we should wait until you’ve settled down?”

  “Did you know that Janice is involved with Aidan at the restaurant?”

  “Involved? No.” Had Janice thrown me under the bus? That bitch!

  “Janice said you knew all about it. Is that why you had a fight that day?”

  “No, and yes.”

  “Jane, my patience is beyond thin at this point, so out with it.”

  “I walked into the restaurant office and Janice was sitting on the desk with her feet on Aidan’s lap. That’s all I know. When I confronted her, she said nothing happened. I felt certain she had staged the little show for my benefit so I’d tell you, and I told her flat out to stop and not to put me in the middle of it like you’re doing right now. Taking your own sage advice, I butted out.”

  “And loyalty?”

  “I’m loyal to you, Marcello, and I’m offended that you’d doubt that at this point.” Glancing away from him in search of a hair tie, I found one on the end table. I perched on the edge of the bed and secured my wavy brown hair into a ponytail. I gazed up at him and said, “Look Marcello, diving into Janice’s drama—and that’s all this is, a ploy to get your attention—seemed unwise and I stand by my decision.”

  “I have fired her, and she will pay the consequences on Saturday at the event. I’m not sure how much longer she’ll be living here.”

  I’m not sure why I cared but I asked, “And Aidan?”

  “He said she kept throwing herself at him and in a moment of weakness, he gave in.”

  “He had sex with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “So she was right. I figured he’d be fired as well and really don’t understand why he wasn’t. Because he is a man and can’t help himself?”

  “No, because he is an incredible manager and they are very hard to find.”

  “His poor judgment in fucking a staff member would indicate otherwise.” I saw Marcello cringe over my language but it didn’t stop me. “At any rate, please leave me out of it, Marcello. Work this out with her, not me. I’m off to run with Chase and very relieved to be getting out of the house.” I grabbed my cellphone and a bottle of water and circled around him towards the door.

  “Wait,” he said, gripping my upper arm as I passed. “I’m sorry,” he said, staring down at me. He sighed heavily and said, “I’ll handle it.”

  I sure hoped he would.

  My life of late had become this odd mixture of extremes. Getting published—a major highlight—versus watching Janice self-destruct. I couldn’t blame her entirely, although I did hold her responsible for her choices. Marcello hadn’t handled the situation well at all.

  I wanted to live in the excitement that came with seeing the cover of my book for the first time and the edited manuscript. Instead, I worried over what would happen to Janice on Saturday night and if she was prepared to reap what she’d sowed.

  * * * *

  Chase and I met up across from restaurant row on Hollywood Beach, a bit south of where I usually started my runs. A cool breeze accompanied the sunny evening, filling the air with aromas of ethnic meals being prepared.

  “Hey, you,” he said, approaching me from behind as I stretched out my calves.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “You okay?” he said, looping to the side of me so he could see my face. His running shorts, a crazy pattern of navy and yellow, along with a blue tank, suited his personality.

  “Is it that obvious?” I asked, taking in his steel cut thighs. “I’m sure the run will help.” I stood, suppressing a grin.

  “That, and talking to me about it.”

  “Just more household drama,” I said. I took off, laughing as I ran down the boardwalk. “Make sure you can keep up.”

  “You are so competitive,” he shouted as he smoked by me, a secret still hidden in his smile. The wind flattened his curly brown hair against his head.

  I had to really haul ass to catch up with him. “Who is the … competitive one?” I forced out. “How are you … on the sand?”

  “Much slower.” He winked at me.

  “Good,” I called out as I veered off the boardwalk and headed to the shore. Now he had to work harder to keep up. I slowed down a bit and, on the hard-packed sand near the water’s edge, we found a stride that suited us both.

  “That’s better,” he said. “So did Janice put her plan into action? Is that the family drama?”

&
nbsp; I jumped over a pile of seaweed and said, “Yes, but there were extenuating circumstances.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I’m pretty sure she’d have left it alone, but Marcello took me to see Matt last night.”

  “I don’t follow,” he said. A wave came up along the sand and we both ran up to higher ground.

  “Remember when I mentioned Janice going away for the weekend?”

  “Oh, now I see. So you went to see this Matt too?” Chase asked. His brow furrowed, and he looked away.

  “Well … yes,” I said, “but with Marcello.”

  He glanced at me and I could swear his hazel eyes appeared more dilated. Was he turned on or angry? “Continue,” he said, his voice gruff.

  “When she found out we were going over to Matt’s place, she got very angry, and today she somehow arranged it so Marcello found her fucking the restaurant manager. Fun stuff at the O K Corral.”

  “Well, I guess that explains the hickeys down the side of your neck. And last night?”

  “Oh shit,” I said. I stopped running and jerked out the hair tie, letting my curls fall to cover my neck.

  “Have I mentioned how much I love your long, thick hair?” he said, reaching out to tug on a lock of chestnut.

  Our eyes locked and the heady attraction between us coupled with the friction over my play with other men riveted me to the spot. My nipples flared and I prayed they were not visible through my sports bra and tank.

  Breaking the spell, Chase said, “So … details, sexy lady.”

  “I don’t think you really want to hear about that,” I said, taking off down the beach again.

  “You’re right that I don’t like the idea of you with yet another man, but I’m pretty certain I’ll enjoy hearing about it anyway.”

  “You’re twisted like that, huh?” I said over my shoulder.

  “Maybe someday you’ll find out.”

  That time I didn’t find his secret smile amusing. I wanted to wipe it off his face … or kiss it. The push and pull felt maddening. “I think it wise to keep the details to myself. I will share one part because it sort of pertains to you …”

  “To moi?” His smile took over his whole face. His pointed brows lifted as his eyes crinkled at the corners and his bright white teeth shined in the sun. “You thought of me during sex?” He stopped running forward and danced around in the sand. “Ha! I knew you liked me.”

  “When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut?” I asked myself, while Chase played the fool on the beach. “Are you quite done?”

  “Oh, you know you won’t live this down anytime soon. I’ll behave, but I’ll still be dancing inside.” He pretended to be hiding a smile.

  As juvenile as it sounds, I actually stuck my tongue out at him.

  “Come closer with that tongue of yours,” he said. He approached me as I stood, dumbfounded.

  “Oh, no … I—” I took off running down the beach and he scrambled to catch up with me.

  “Not so fast, Jane. You have to tell me, now that you’ve mentioned it.”

  Stopping near the walkway that led to the boardwalk, I leaned on the railing to catch my breath. I decided to just blurt it out, “I thought of you while sucking Matt’s cock.”

  I swear he blushed, or maybe his pulse accelerated even more than when he had chased me on the sand. Red crept up his neck and migrated to his cheeks. I willed myself not to glance down at his running shorts to see if he was aroused by my confession.

  “Why?” he asked, holding his palms facing out. He seemed happy over the turn of events but also curious.

  I turned toward the water and said, “I didn’t love his smell, so I pretended he smelled and tasted like you might smell and taste.”

  “You pretended you were sucking my cock?”

  I caught him licking his lips.

  “Yes,” I said, confronting him straight on as if I had no shame. In truth, my nipples hardened and my face flushed with warmth. I felt embarrassed by my brazen confession but wanted him to know I’d have chosen him as my lover over Matt.

  He chuckled and said, “You’re further gone than I’d hoped. Good to know I’m not alone.” He took my hand and led me along the bridge to the boardwalk. “I’ll slow down so you can keep up,” he said.

  I could not look away. I felt his penetrating gaze all the way down to my toes. Breaking the connection, I ran in the opposite direction and he quickly fell in with my stride. We ran in sync and I wished I had brought my iPod to distract me from all the thoughts bouncing around inside my head. He followed me as I took the long way, following the side streets to my beach house. I didn’t have my keys so we just hung out on the steps admiring the ocean. We sat in silence, resting up for the run back to our cars.

  Standing up and stretching out my lower back, I decided to peek inside before heading out. Pressing my face up to a pane on the French doors, I felt my breath catch in my throat. The couch that usually angled into the room had been spun around to face the beach side of the house. Who had been inside? I tried to see if anything else had been changed, but I couldn’t tell. Was Luke back? Fuck! I thought. I liked having the house to myself, even though I didn’t live there anymore. Having no desire to cross paths with Luke, I prepared myself to mourn my home all over again.

  I hurried to Chase and said, “Let’s go.”

  In companionable silence we ran back the way we had come. I appreciated the break from the usual banter.

  Once back by our cars, we began to stretch. Chase asked, “So what do you plan to do about Janice?”

  “Oh,” I said. Janice had moved from the forefront of my mind. “Nothing, I guess. Hopefully the event they’re going to tomorrow will set things on the right track.”

  “I hope so too. I’d like to do this again if you’re game.” His genuine, warm smile erased some of my worry.

  “Sure, but probably not for a week. I’m reviewing the edits and suggestions from the publisher and I need to have the manuscript back to her by next week.” I bent over to release the tightness in my back.

  “Do you have your cell with you?”

  “Sure, it’s in my car, why?”

  He rolled his eyes and gave me a cheeky smile, “So I can give you my number, of course.”

  I laughed at his expression and jogged to my car to get it.

  He quickly added his number to my address book and then, unexpectedly, gave me a warm hug. “Thanks,” he said softly in my ear, causing a chill to dance over my skin.

  I drove home from my run thinking of Luke and Chase and Janice and Marcello, wondering how it would all play out.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I spent Saturday reading through Falling Through The Rabbit Hole and revising where necessary. The house remained a tomb, or maybe the music blaring in my headphones just blocked out the household sounds. By five p.m. I needed a break, and chose to run close by the house because I didn’t want to take the time to drive to the beach.

  After my run, while stretching naked on a towel in front of my bed, I heard a knock at my door. “One sec,” I said and hurriedly threw on a robe and tied the sash. “Come in.”

  Sarah, gray hair tucked neatly in a bun, poked her head around the door, a bundle of clothes in her arms. “I’ll just leave these on your bed.”

  The top item looked like a short black trench coat, which she spread out over my coverlet. The lingerie and collar she laid next to the jacket set my heart pounding and I could feel the heat of anger searing my ears. “What are those for?”

  After arranging the items, Sarah glanced up with an expression of compassion. “Jane, dear, I haven’t the foggiest. Marcello is currently in his office.”

  “Thank you,” I said, struggling to keep the misguided missile of my fury from striking her. I swallowed hard and waited for her to leave.

  When she left, I searched the end table for the contract between Marcello and me. I stormed down the hall with the papers tightly in my fist and went straight through Marcello’s bedroom t
o his office door. I pounded on it.

  Marcello opened the door in a defensive posture. “Merde, Jane, you scared me.”

  “Why is Sarah delivering an outfit to my room?” I said through gritted teeth.

  His eyebrows scrunched together and he glowered. “We have an event to go to tonight. You know that.”

  “I know no such thing. You and Janice have some S&M or Dom event to go to but that has nothing to do with me. The contract stipulates that I don’t have to go.”

  “Incorrect. What it says is that you do not have to participate. You will get dressed and be ready to leave at 9:00 p.m. I suggest you eat something light for dinner.”

  “What the fuck, Marcello?” I quickly scanned down the page until I got to the list of hard limits. It read:

  Respect all hard limits of sub as follows: no minors, no animals, no scat, no gags, no deep throat penetration, no electrosex, no moderation of food, no participation in parties without sub’s consent.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck! You know that’s not what I meant!” I yelled.

  “Jane, I’d be very careful if I were you. My patience has already been exhausted with regard to Janice, who plans to try to make it up to me tonight. You owe me for this insolent behavior.”

  “Insolent? You manipulated me.” I shook the contract at him.

  “I warned you.” He grabbed the papers and tore them out of my hand. “You did say you wanted to christen the office, and now’s your chance.” He clutched my wrist and dragged me into the study, behind the desk. Sitting in his office chair, he easily stretched me across his lap, the arms of the chair cutting into my chest and upper thighs. I fought and struggled against him.

  He laughed over my predicament, and I wanted to punch him in the face.

  “I’m not sure what all the fuss is about,” he said. “You will mostly be observing Janice’s plight, except when you’re busy with me.” He shifted in his seat, folded back my short silk robe and said, “Twenty, and make sure you count.”