by Max Lockwood
Half-empty takeout boxes suggested that he had been eating, but he couldn’t remember any specific flavors unless he peeked at the leftovers. His phone listed several incoming calls, but he couldn’t recall any conversations. Perhaps the most concerning thing were the pill bottles that sat on his bathroom sink. He couldn’t remember when he had taken his last dose, and how much he had taken. It was a miracle that he made it through the week.
It didn’t help that he was battling a mysterious illness at the same time as he was experiencing extreme grief. He wasn’t sure which symptoms to attribute to which ailment. He had been in such a haze as his brain protected him from the horror of the situation. He was more alone than he could even comprehend.
People his age told him that it would get easier, basing his situation off their own painful breakups. But what they didn’t understand was that a death was so much different than being dumped. At least during a breakup, the anger one felt for their partner could keep them afloat. Even if they were stricken with nothing but grief, at least they knew the love of their life was out there somewhere, just a phone call or letter away. With a death, there was nothing—just a void where a life had once been.
Little by little, Matthew’s brain let in flashes of the present, slowly bringing him back to reality. He studied the streaks of red on the windshield—the bits of fluid and tissue the wipers could not scrape clean. Though completely unintentional, he had removed a threat from the city. It was a miniscule dent, but it was a small step in the right direction.
Though, at the same time, he had been involved with the loss of a healthy human. Though he was weakened with a leg injury, he could have spent time inside their refuge healing. Genevieve had a nasty leg injury, but it was getting better by the day. They had people who knew how to take care of injuries and medical supplies to help them do the job. He could have been fixed up, ready to one day go back onto the streets and fight zombies.
Instead, he was gone. They hadn’t even the chance to learn anything about him. He would only be remembered as the man who was savagely killed while the rest of the car watched.
Matthew’s throat felt dry, he bent over and picked up the water bottle, taking a few more slow sips. Sergio leaned over and handed him a protein bar, but he waved it away. He had absolutely no appetite. Perhaps once the blood was washed off the front of the car, then he would eat. Until then, he would stick with water.
“Thank goodness.” Carl sighed. “There they are.”
A maroon minivan pulled out of a driveway and started following the Jeep. Matthew hadn’t even realized that they had not been heading back to the office, but instead had been circling the nearby neighborhoods for the women. Crystal waved emphatically, but Matthew couldn’t even work up the strength to acknowledge them.
“Do you see anyone in the van with them?” Carl asked, trying to peer into the rearview mirror.
“I think I see a couple of shadows,” Sergio answered. “There might be one or two people in there.”
“Good enough,” Carl said, sounding exhausted. “I just want to get home.”
For the first time since they had lost the third survivor, Matthew turned to look at the new passengers. The man and woman sat upright in their seats, their eyes sunken. If Matthew didn’t know any better, he might have suspected they were in the early stages of the virus, though he heard them swear to Sergio that they were clean.
The man and woman looked sickly and malnourished. By the way each of them ran toward the car, they appeared to be in terrible physical shape. It was like running around town with Ellie and Genevieve again, but perhaps even worse.
The pair sat with a water bottle in one hand and a protein bar in the other. The way they sat there reminded Matthew of toddlers sitting down for their afternoon snack. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was so repulsive about them that Matthew had to turn back around.
He had been so excited to pick up new people that he started dreaming up plans for his new soldiers. Crystal and Adele were so young and lively, game to do anything. They wanted to get out into the world and fight.
On the other hand, these new people didn’t look like they were physically capable of fighting. They looked like the type to cower in fear when things got scary and run away from zombies when they really needed to stand still and take them on.
In Matthew’s head, rescuing people would lead to a stronger force against the virus. He wanted partners, not babysitting charges. There was just not enough resources to set up a nursery—he needed an army.
A dark thought crossed his mind and permeated his hopes and dreams for his group. For a second, he imagined opening the car door and shoving the new people out onto the street where they could fight for themselves. If they lived, then maybe they could join the army. If they didn’t, then maybe they weren’t a good fit for the group.
Matthew clenched his fists once he realized what he was thinking. He was really no better than Mayor Schilling. He was so caught up in his plan of fighting back that he couldn’t even find a place in his refugee camp for weaklings. He had reduced a human’s worth down to whether or not they could be helpful in their cause. It was despicable.
Matthew hung his head in disgust. For so long, he had tried to convince others to give newcomers a chance. He criticized anyone who wanted to play it safe and be selective of whom they invited to join their group. He talked a big game of adding as many numbers as they possibly could. But for some reason, he couldn’t stop fantasizing about leaving the newest charges in the dust.
“Feeling okay?” Carl asked him.
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m a little tired.”
“You might as well get some sleep,” he said. “We’ll be there in about twenty minutes, provided we don’t get held up.”
“Sure,” he replied, closing his eyes for a moment.
Unfortunately, whenever Matthew closed his eyes, he saw the zombie splatter on the windshield or saw the face of the limping man, his wide eyes haunting him. Matthew opened his eyes and fixed them on the road in front of him.
“We did well,” Carl said, as if convincing himself of this fact. “We made two saves and the girls made at least one. For our first mission, that’s not so bad. There will be many more in the future.”
“Yeah, we did okay,” Sergio agreed. He dug around in Matthew’s bag and found the open bottle of whisky and stole a sip before discreetly stowing it back in the backpack.
“I’m excited to see what the crew has been up to,” Carl said, cracking a smile at this thought. “I was pretty nervous about leaving Pip alone for a few days. It’s not that I don’t trust her to take care of herself, but you never know what she’s up to. She has the potential to be a bad influence on people.”
Sergio laughed. “Just wait, we’ll walk in the place to find her taking vodka shots with Sally.”
“You joke, but you can never be too sure,” Carl said.
“She’s just fine,” Sergio said. “I bet you’re excited to see Jennifer, too.”
Carl shrugged. “Sure. I’m excited to see everyone. Especially Marigold,” he said sarcastically.
“Yeah, sure,” Sergio chuckled. “Are you sure there’s no one special waiting for you?”
“I don’t know, man. Only time will tell. How about you, Matthew? Anyone in particular you’re looking forward to spending some quality time with?”
Matthew looked at his boots. For the most part, he tried to keep a brave face for everyone around him. Now, he just wasn’t in the mood for lightheartedness. He knew the other guys were just trying to relieve some tension, but he wasn’t feeling up for it.
“I just want to spend some time on the couch,” he said.
“Me too,” Carl said. “That’s a good call. I want to sit down and never get back up.”
“I also wouldn’t mind some time on the couch,” Sergio said, with a glimmer in his eye. “Not for sleeping, though.” Luckily, he said this so quietly that Carl couldn’t hear what he was
suggesting.
He tried to be at least a little optimistic and thought about the good that would come from their excursion. Genevieve and Ellie would be excited to see him and even more excited to see the lab equipment. The others would at least be friendly to him, but for the most part, they were missing the other two soldiers the most. He didn’t really want to talk to Adele or Crystal. He had all the information he needed out of them for the moment. They would fit in well with the others. They were all lively, outgoing people. Matthew often felt like the odd man out. The more he thought about it, the less he wanted to see or speak to anyone. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, but more about how he was inevitably going to let them all down.
“We could all use a little peace and quiet,” Carl said, noticing the distress on Matthew’s face. “It’s been a rough day.”
“You can say that again,” Sergio said. “We could be doing this for a long time to come. There’s no need to get burnt out on the first day. We’re not a search and rescue team. We just need to get into our rhythm and figure out our skills.”
Matthew nodded. There was a lot of truth to what they were saying, but it was still hard to accept. But he felt a little bit of pressure leave his chest with this bit of optimism.
Matthew looked back at the newbies. They were fast asleep with their heads tilted back and their mouths open. He was astounded that they were capable of sleep after what they had been through.
“Like little fainting goats,” Sergio said, his mind on the same track. “I wonder how they’ll adapt.”
“They’ll be fine,” Carl said. “Maybe we should give them a floor to themselves. Our crew can be a bit overwhelming.”
Suddenly, Matthew recognized the street they were on. The buildings grew taller the farther they drove. Everything was familiar, except for the activity going on around them.
“Does it seem especially quiet to you?” Carl asked. “I know we have a little way to go, but weren’t there a lot more zombies around here when we left?”
“Maybe Mayor Schilling found somewhere else to send her zombies,” Sergio suggested. “Although I would assume that she would send twice as many as she already did.”
“Maybe our group fought them off,” Carl said. “That’s a lot of zombies, though. Unless they got better weapons, it seems unlikely.”
“Unless they got really bored while we were gone,” Sergio added.
“Maybe they were quiet and masked their smell,” Matthew chimed in, surprised by the lack of clear reason for the zombies to disappear. “Do they just get bored and find another place to ambush?”
“No clue, but we can ask the others,” Carl said, pulling to a stop in front of the building. “Home, sweet home.”
The newcomers awoke at their sudden stop. They looked alarmed.
“Just stay here for a little bit,” Sergio suggested. “You’ll be safe in the car. We’ll come back for you when we start unloading all of our crap. Think you have enough strength to carry a few items when the time comes?”
The man silently nodded his head.
“Cool. We’ll be back in a minute. Just sit tight.”
The soldiers got out of the vehicle, their weapons of choice in tow. Sergio led the three, clearly the most anxious to get back. He strolled right up to the back door of the building, ready to pound on it as hard as he needed to get someone’s attention. But much to their surprise, the door was already cracked open.
“Hello?” he called, pulling the door open. Inside, he found at least fifty zombies staring back at him. His eyes wide, Sergio slammed the door as they sprinted toward the soldiers in one solid mass.
“No,” he said, leaning against the closed door. “How did this happen?”
“Do you think they’re trapped up there?” Carl asked, panic rising in his voice. He ran back out to the street to get a better look at the building. Sergio ran to the car and honked twice, in order to get someone’s attention.
“I think I see someone on the third floor,” Matthew breathed, pointing to the long window.
They watched as a figure moved closer to the glass. Then, it slammed against the window so hard, they could hear the impact from outside. Matthew felt like his insides rattled along with the pane. He was just waiting for everything to shatter.
“No,” Sergio cried out again, falling to his knees in the middle of the street. More zombies appeared in the window of their former home floor. They hit the glass in response to the honking, just mimicking the moves of the others, in hopes that it would yield some sort of result.
“Maybe they moved to higher ground,” Carl squeaked out. He was wildly searching for answers, grasping on anything that didn’t mean certain death. But with as many zombies as there were in the building, he was losing hope fast.
Matthew knew it wasn’t likely. There were zombies filling the building as high up as he could see. He didn’t understand what happened. Just a few days ago, the building was perfectly secure. They had just wiped out a large swath of them and things were looking up. Suddenly, their friends were nowhere to be seen and their home was taken over by zombies.
Matthew leaned up against the Jeep, afraid that his legs were going to give out. All their hard work was for nothing. Their friends, the people they cared most about in the world, were gone.
22
Just when Matthew was starting to feel like himself again, the numbness returned. He was now watching the worst day of someone’s life, times two. He could hardly move as he witnessed Sergio on the ground and Carl pacing back and forth, trying to think of a logical reason as to why his sister and his friends were gone.
“What’s going on?” Crystal called from her van. They had just pulled to a stop and she had her window cracked halfway, wary of their new home.
“We can’t find them,” Matthew said, his voice breaking. “The building is filled with zombies. They’re gone.”
Crystal raised her hand to her mouth. All the fingernails on her right hand had been nervously chewed to the quick. “But they were just here a few days ago.”
“I know,” Matthew said mournfully. “I don’t know what to do.”
Crystal got out of the car and walked toward the men. “Is it possible that they moved? You saw how easy it was for us to pack up and go. If someone found a car, it would be all too easy to split if things got dodgy.”
“They wouldn’t do that,” Sergio said, the pain in his voice palpable. “They knew we would be back as soon as possible. We made it clear that it could be longer than a day but promised that we would be back. They wouldn’t leave us.”
Crystal shrugged. “But do you know that for sure?”
Carl bared his teeth. “They wouldn’t abandon us,” he snarled. “You don’t know anything about them.”
“Sorry,” she said softly, backing up a few steps. It was rare for Carl to get too worked up about anything. “Then we’ll find them. We’ll search the whole city if we have to.”
“This is New York City,” Sergio said exasperatedly. “We can’t just start driving around and expect to find them by sundown. It would take forever. You saw all the crap we went through in two days. How could they survive any longer than that without us? We don’t have that kind of time on our hands.”
“Well, what are our options?” she asked, getting frustrated. She was worried too, and she hadn’t even met the missing people.
“She’s my baby sister,” Carl said softly. “She’s the only family I have left. I promised to take care of her for the rest of my life. I failed her.”
Matthew bit his lip. There had to be something useful for him to do. The longer he stood idle, the more worthless he felt. He couldn’t properly grieve with them—that wouldn’t be appropriate. But it felt callous to stay stagnant.
“The fire escape,” Matthew breathed. “There’s a good view of the windows on that side of the building. I’ll take a look and see if there is any sign of them. Maybe they left a note or something.”
“Okay,” Sergio said, l
ooking like he was about to topple over.
“Watch them,” Matthew mouthed to Crystal. He had yet to see either of the men in a deep depression and didn’t know how they would react.
As he took to the metal stairs, Matthew said a little prayer, begging for them to be alive and intact. Along with that, he prayed that he wouldn’t have to see their lifeless bodies, or worse, remains.
With each floor that he climbed, he leaned up against the window as close as he could. As seen from the back door, the lobby of the building was packed. No one could survive that.
The second floor was empty, save for a few dead zombies and a couple of live ones roaming around. However, that was to be expected. But what he saw on floors three, four, and five gave him pause.
These floors were the ones most commonly used by the group. Matthew studied everything he could see from the window, trying to come to some sort of conclusion. Inside, looked fairly clean, as it had when they left. There were no sign of bodies, much to his relief.
But there were signs of life scattered through those three floors. Matthew counted several water bottles, cans of vegetables, and random items of clothing on the floor. When he spotted little Marigold’s pacifier sitting forgotten on the carpet, his stomach dropped.
Marigold was a particularly quiet baby to begin with, but Matthew had never met an infant that wasn’t attached to its pacifier. Even the most doting mothers needed a way to keep their crying child calm. After all, babies cry for every reason imaginable. Matthew thought that this had to be a significant clue.
Not ready to go back down, Matthew sat on a step and tried to piece the puzzle together with the limited information he had. He didn’t think it was even possible to make anything out of the scattered objects on the floor.
He couldn’t rule out that they were still in the building. He tapped on the window, but there was no response. It seemed like a good sign that he couldn’t see any bodies, but there was a lot of building left. He was only looking at a very small portion of it.