First Comes Love: A Chronicles of Moxie Novel

by Z. B Heller

“No, I’m going to wait until you’re ready to talk. There’s no rush. Well, besides the fact that you have fifty-two minutes left of your session.” She winked.

  It was the simple gesture of a wink that helped me relax. I’ve come to like Dr. Gerber. She wasn’t patronizing and didn’t blame everything on Freud’s theory that everyone just wanted to suck on their mother’s tits… or something.

  “My dad is dying,” I said softly.

  “I’m so sorry, Moxie,” she replied, warmth wrapping her words.

  “The weird thing is that I have all different feelings and emotions swirling in my head. I can’t just catch one and deal with it.”

  “We’ve talked a little about your family, mostly about Martha. But what is your relationship with your dad like?”

  I told Dr. Gerber about my dad and she listened without interruption. I loved my dad, and the thought of losing him left a part of me empty. I had a lot of memories of my dad playing with me as a kid and how he always spoiled me rotten. But when my mom died, things changed for him. Even after meeting Martha, his personality never matched what it had been before mom passed.

  “So do you think Martha changed him?”

  “No, I think he was broken after my mom. We never really spoke about his remarriage. Instead I just acted out toward Martha. She was easier to blame than my dad.”

  “Why did you want to blame him?” she asked.

  Tears formed in my eyes as years of pain surfaced. I blame my dad—blame him for essentially leaving me, mentally. Sure he was physically there, but part of him was buried with my mom. I wanted to blame him for this woman he brought into our lives. I wanted to blame him because I needed him to soothe away my grief, not give me a makeshift mommy. I blurted this all and other word vomit, everything from Martha telling me he didn’t want me to know to my dad wanting me to have a perfect wedding.

  “So where does Martha fit into all of this?”

  I took a deep breath and pondered that question before answering. “When I looked at Martha after she told me, I saw a flash of a different woman. It was a woman who was going to lose her husband. I can’t even think about what would happen if I lost Miles. She still bugs the ever living shit out of me. But I’m willing to deal with my feelings for her if that will make my dad happy.”

  “Why is it so important now for you to make your dad happy? You just gave me a list of reasons you blame him.”

  I looked at Dr. Gerber with narrowed eyes. Why was it so important now? Why was I willing to put up with Martha’s shit all of a sudden? I took a tissue from the side table and dried my eyes. Then it hit me. I sat up and looked at the woman who’d just helped me turn the lights on.

  “Because through everything—the good, bad, and ugly—he’s still my dad. He’s still the man who had tea parties with me and my bears when I was seven. He’s still the man who bought me a red velvet dress I refused to take off for two days when I was eight. And he’s still the man who will proudly walk me down the aisle to the other man who loves me just as fiercely.”

  Dr. Gerber’s lips curled into a smile. “Congratulations, Moxie.”

  “For what?” I asked, while patting the snot dripping from my nose.

  “Because now, we’re finally getting somewhere.”

  I stood in the shower, letting the water massage my back. The water was so hot it was burning my skin, but it felt good. But I seriously contemplated turning the knob to cold and dousing my raging hard-on. It had been almost four months since Moxie had told me she was pregnant and we had that amazing sex at Disney World. Since then the morning sickness, fatigue, and worries about her dad had replaced any desire she had to make love.

  I stared down at the erection I’d been sporting since I watched Moxie get ready for bed tonight. The way she peeled off her clothes piece by piece, I could have sworn she knew she was torturing me. I closed my eyes and replayed the scene in my head. She sauntered into the room and stretched her arms over her head, pushing her tits out as if it were an invitation. Her V-neck sweater stretched tight across her chest and I ached to touch what was underneath. When she did, she revealed her plump breasts in a purple lace bra. The pregnancy had made her already sizable breasts even bigger. My cock pounded with need with the thought of moving it in and out of those tits, fucking them until I came.

  My misery didn’t end there. Moxie lowered her jeans to reveal matching purple panties. Her red locks fell over her shoulders as she bent to take each pant leg off. I desperately wanted to grab her from behind and show her exactly how I felt about her unintentional strip tease. The visual of her bent over while I took her from behind was enough to make me lose my breath.

  I seriously needed to find release. I grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it in between my hands to create a foaming lather. I gripped my cock, which was achingly hard and slid over the shaft with my soapy hand. A hard breath escaped my lips as the suds lubed my skin. Slowly, I pumped my shaft, stopping for a second to grip the tip. The tip of my dick was always the most sensitive. Moxie’s little party trick was to take her finger and slowly play with the slit on the head. My breathing picked up as well as the movement of my hand.

  “You know, I should feel insulted.”

  I startled and released my cock. I wiped away the condensation building on the shower glass door. Moxie stood in nothing but one of my button down dress shirts.

  “Feeling a little physically frustrated?” she asked in a sultry voice, which was not helping my cause. My poor cock was going to explode.

  “If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about you.” I threw Moxie a wry smile.

  “Oh yeah? And what were you thinking exactly?” Moxie slid the shower door open, letting the cool air from the room into the shower. I thought the coolness would shrink my erection, but looking at my girl in my shirt just made my cock throb even more.

  “I was thinking about your sweet ass and taking you from behind.” I couldn’t help it; I took my dick back into my hand and started stroking it again.

  “Hmm, that sounds kind of dull.” She faked a yawn and patted her mouth with her hand.

  I raised an eyebrow, still trying to fight my desire for her. But a man can only take so much. I grabbed her arm, pulling her into the shower with me, my dress shirt getting drenched. The wet material of the shirt clung to her body. Her nipples clearly were hard, screaming to be released from the shirt. And who was I to deny them their request? I took the front of the shirt and ripped it open, sending the buttons across the shower floor.

  “Now look at what you did. I liked this shirt.” Moxie pouted.

  “I liked it too, but it was in the way of what I wanted.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “These,” I said, taking a breast in each hand.

  Moxie let out a small cry and I paused for a moment remembering back when we were at Disney when she said they were painful to touch. Dear God, I hoped that wasn’t the case anymore because I missed them.

  “They are so sensitive now,” she said. “I read that they can get super sensitive with the pregnancy. But not like before, now it feels amazing.”

  With that being said, I massaged her nipples with the palms of my hands. Moxie always loved when I played with her nipples.

  “Oh God, Miles.”

  “Feel good?” I asked, knowing the answer because her hips bucked toward me.

  “You have no idea,” she said and purred through her pleasure.

  I continued my onslaught of her breasts by rolling each nipple in between my fingers.

  Moxie braced herself on the wall and glass door to keep from falling over. She panted, “Miles, I can’t… the feeling… too intense.”

  I stopped kneading her nipples and clutched her hips. I scrutinized her face and looked for signs that I should stop, but all I saw was passion and lust. I took that as a green light to continue and pressed my lips to hers. I was greedy and hungry and wanted nothing more than to be with her. She broke the kiss and looked at me.

&nbs
p; “I think I owe you for being so patient with me while I moved past the first trimester crap.”

  “You don’t owe me anything, I have all I could want.” I cupped her cheek.

  “Everything?” She smiled.

  “Well, there is one thing.”

  “That would be?”

  “You… on your knees… sucking me off.”

  “Your wish is my command.”

  She slowly sunk to her knees, scratching her nails down my stomach as she went. My cock jutted out in front of me, pointing directly at her mouth and begging to be devoured. She licked across my shaft. My head fell back and my eyes rolled back in my head. Moxie opened her mouth and took me in all the way, her head bobbing back and forth, sucking me with intensity. I automatically reached for her hair and tangled my fingers in her red mane.

  “Take me in, sweetness. As far as you can go.”

  Moxie hummed while sucking me, sending even more waves of pleasure through me. I had to stop her or else I was going to come and I desperately wanted to come inside of her.

  “I need you to stop,” I said, stilling her head. Her pleading eyes looked up to me and she made a popping sound when she released my cock from her sweet lips.

  “Something wrong? Did you not like it?” She ran her tongue over her lips.

  She knew I loved it when she blew me, so I wasn’t going to respond to that. “I want you bent over the shower bench. I’ll show you exactly what I was thinking about while I was jerking off.”

  “Knowing your dirty mind, it could have been a million different scenarios.”

  I helped Moxie up, spun her around, and slowly pushed her back down so she was bent over, holding onto the edge of the bench. Her ass sticking up was an invitation. I brought my hand through her opened thighs and found her opening and shoved two fingers into her heat and stroked her clit with my thumb.

  “Is my sweetness ready for me?

  “Yes,” Moxie huffed out.

  “Mmm, I can tell by how fucking wet you are.”

  It took everything to restrain myself from plowing into her. But I had to admit that teasing Moxie was also a huge turn-on for me. Just watching her struggle with desire, spurred me on.

  “Miles, please. I need you now.”

  “What do you need, Moxie?

  I knew exactly what she needed. In the time I’d been with her I’d gotten to know Moxie’s body as well as my own. I knew what drove her mad and what made her sing with pleasure.

  “I need you to fuck me.”

  “Do you want me to fuck you soft and sweet or hard and fast?”

  “Hard. Now.”

  “Your wish is my command,” I said, repeating her earlier saying.

  With a swift thrust I entered her and held onto her hips. Moxie sucked in air like she was fighting to breathe. “It’s going to be fast, sweetness. I’ve needed this for too long.”

  “God, Miles. I love it when you take me.”

  I continued to pound into her, my intensity only growing more as I moved. My hand left her hip and reached around and rubbed her clit. I bent down to kiss her between her shoulder blades. “Come for me, Moxie. Come on my cock.”

  I knew that’s all it would take and felt her body shutter and her pussy clenched around my cock like a vise. I moved faster, sending both of us to the edge.

  “Now, Moxie, fucking come now.”

  Moxie screamed as her orgasm took over her body. I felt a roll start in my lower spine and rose until I poured myself into the woman I loved so much. After a few minutes, we both came down from the orgasmic high. She straightened herself and I wrapped my arms around her, pressing kisses on her neck.

  “I missed you,” I whispered into her ear. She turned around. Her eyes were closed and she had a small, closed smile on her lips. I wanted to hold her forever and feel her heartbeat next to mine.

  “I know. I missed you, too.” She shifted until she nested it into the crook of my neck.

  “I take it you’re feeling better?” I reached down and rubbed small circles around her stomach. She giggled, backing away slightly and gently swatted my hand away.

  “Yeah, I think your spawn is finally releasing me from vomiting purgatory.”

  “Good. My spawn knows that Daddy needs Mommy’s pussy.”

  “Never, and I mean ever, say Mommy’s pussy again,” she said, as she looked me straight into my eyes and pointed a stern finger at me.

  I laughed, turned off the shower, and opened the door to get a towel. I swung the soft towel around Moxie first, drying every inch from head to toe. I stopped briefly, at her abdomen and bent down to give it a kiss.

  “Hey, sprout. I love your mommy very much. And I especially like her when she’s bent over in the shower.”

  Moxie went to smack my arm, but I guarded myself before she could get to me. There wasn’t enough words to express how I felt about this woman and the life growing inside her. Working with Dr. Gerber was definitely helping Moxie overcome some of her fears about becoming a mother and I could see her confidence growing.

  “I swear our baby is going to come out spewing obscenities since its father is such a dirty talker,” she said as she ran her fingers over my lips.

  “Umm, last time I checked, its mother’s mouth lived permanently in the gutter.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you pussy-loving butt slave.”

  “Butt slave?”

  “Yeah. Because you’re a slave to my ass, so you’re my butt slave.”

  “Sweetness, when you’re no longer on this earth, I shall make a shrine of your voluptuous ass and I’ll kiss it every damn day.”

  Renee, Ryan, and I were sitting at The Cheesecake Factory on Michigan Avenue having lunch and looking at bridal magazines. It was still surreal for me as we turned the pages, looking at all the women draped in white taffeta. Well, mostly white. There was a bright red dress perfect for a hooker’s wedding. Hey, I don’t judge. Too much.

  “When I was younger, I would sit in the magazine aisle at the grocery store looking at wedding dresses while my mom went shopping.” Renee sighed as she flipped through the pages.

  “Wouldn’t she worry that you would get abducted if you weren’t near her at all times?”

  Ryan raised a brow.

  “I thought parents plaster their kids to their hips so that Steve the Stranger doesn’t lure them with a piece of candy into their conversion vans.”

  “Nah. My mom figured if a stranger came up to me, I would talk their ear off and they would beg my parents to take me back,” she said, not even looking away from the pages.

  I looked at Ryan and shrugged. Renee did have a tendency to yammer on. When it came down to safety, Renee had the upper hand. A little hidden tidbit about Renee was that she had a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Her dad was a police officer and made sure she knew how to protect herself. I found out this information one night when a guy at a bar got a little too handsy with Renee on the dance floor. He only needed fifteen stitches and still had vision in his left eye. Renee said she went easy on him.

  The waitress came over to take our order and brightened when she saw the mess of magazines in front of us.

  “Oh, who’s getting married?” she asked, beaming with excitement. The look around the table for a viable option. She looked at Renee with a big toothy grin as if she had found the answer.

  “I am,” I said as I lifted one hand and rested the other on my ever-growing abdomen.

  “Oh.” The waitress sounded disappointed as she looked me over and narrowed her eyes, her lips drawn in a thin line.

  “My partner here and I are finally taking the plunge.” I grabbed Renee’s hand. The waitress quickly looked at Renee and me and sputtered her apologies. I waved her off and continued because it was too fun.

  “And this is our baby daddy, Phil. He was generous enough to donate his sperm so we could have kids.” Then I lowered my voice so only the four of us could hear. “But I had to fuck him since the she was using the turkey baster fo
r our Thanksgiving dinner. Shh,” I said, placing my finger on my lips.

  “Umm, that’s very nice,” The waitress said, unable to meet my eyes.

  “Can you give us a few minutes?” Renee asked the waitress.

  As the waitress walked away Renee gave me her best stern teacher eyes. The kind you give a student when you know they did something they weren’t supposed to, but didn’t have the energy to reprimand them verbally.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m pissed.”

  “Why? The waitress was being bitchy and I’m hormonal.”

  “Why did you have to have sex with Ryan when I’m sure there are plenty of professional fertility treatment centers where we could have conceived our child? And the waitress wasn’t bitchy, you are just hormonal.”

  Ryan and I looked at each other in confusion and then back at Renee.

  “You do know it was all made up, right? You and I aren’t lesbians and we are not having Ryan’s baby.”

  “I just don’t understand why I wouldn’t be able to have a say in the creation of our child. And why am I cooking Thanksgiving dinner. You know I hate to cook.” Renee groaned and shook her head, returning her attention back to the magazine.

  “Umm, something on your mind Renee?” Ryan asked.

  She slapped the magazine shut and folded her arms.

  “I just don’t understand why someone else always gets to make decisions for me. I have a voice, a mind, and opinion. I deserve to be heard.”

  “If it matters to you that much, I’ll let you choose the type of cheesecake we’ll have for dessert,” Ryan offered.

  I slapped Ryan’s arm. “There’s more to it, you dick licker. And what the hell is the matter with you? I’m pregnant, therefore I get to choose the cheesecake and it’s going to be Snickers. Now Renee, can you please tell us what has your thong in a twist?”

  “Raj said he and I are moving in together. There was no discussion about it or where we’d live. It was just… ‘You move here, woman,’ ” she said in a caveman voice while pointing to the ground.’ ”

  “I thought that’s what you wanted?” I opened my menu.