by Celia Kyle
“What do you mean?” He had that confused look down.
“I’m getting the cold shoulder from Uncle Luc and even Jezze of all people. No one is being straight with me. They’re hiding something, Sam, and I know it.”
And I did know it. I just hadn’t said it aloud until now.
“They’re simply struggling with this situation,” he murmured and I could practically feel his thick arms wrapping around my waist, his heat enveloping me as he sought to calm my anger.
“And I’m not?” I threw up my hands, disgust coating my grimace. “I think they’ve been talking to Sorsha behind my back. There’s something they’re not saying. When have I ever tiptoed around shit?”
“They probably don’t want to upset you.”
“If they think hiding shit won’t upset me, they don’t know me very well,” I snarked and turned my head. Of course Astral Projection Sam stayed in my vision. I tried closing my eyes, but I could still sense his presence.
“If I’m upsetting you…”
I sighed. “No, don’t go. We haven’t gotten to talk in a while. I need this.”
I need you.
But that went unsaid.
We talked for as long as I could remain awake and he could maintain the connection.
And I was a total whiny girl the whole time. I admit it. But if anyone ever asked, I totally didn’t pout when Sam had nothing to offer but his love.
Which I would totally take, of course.
“Amica, you need to have faith in yourself. You’re not helpless, but you’re also not invincible. You need to learn to accept help.”
Sam still didn’t accept that “faith” wasn’t a thing in the underworld.
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled, but didn’t whine. “Come back soon, okay?”
“As soon as my mission is complete.”
I closed my eyes and allowed exhaustion to wash over me. As sleep consumed me, dragging me into unconsciousness, I thought I saw another person float into my vision.
A face that haunted my dreams the rest of the night.
Chapter Twelve
When Esmeralda returned with Bryony the next day, I knew I had this whole being sick thing beat. The blue goop was totally on its way out (even if I was afraid to look) and I definitely felt better. I was sitting up in bed and feeling energized, I had this.
Yes, I was lying to myself. No, I didn’t care.
I’d spent half the morning arguing with Sorsha, trying to convince her that I was fine and ready to bust out of quarantine.
She’d eventually convinced me that trying to leave the clinic would lead to a relapse and I’d reluctantly agreed to stay put.
Sure, she’d threatened to call in my babysitters and tattle on me, but whatever. I agreed, didn’t I? But that didn’t mean I had to lie in bed and do nothing.
Bry scrambled into bed with me, his large backpack bouncing around while he crawled to my side. He bumped and jostled me before finally finding a comfy position.
I split my attention between my kid and the dhampir in the doorway. “Did you bring it?”
She gave me a curt nod and hefted a large paper bag. She sat it on the bed next to me. “This was everything that matched your descriptions.”
“Good.” I dug into the bag and pulled out old books covered in familiar arcane symbols. The kind of symbols I’d spied on Keller’s books. Jezze hadn’t made much progress, at least none she’d told me about, so I’d decided that it was time for me to take a crack at it myself.
“What are those?” Bry grabbed one of the books, pudgy fingers clinging to the dusty leather.
“Books to help Momma get better.”
“Oh.” He opened one and examined the pictures on one page and the next, tilting his head this way and that. “Will they stop the shadow man from taking you away?”
I froze in place and carefully closed the tome in my hand before slowly turning to Bryony. “The shadow man?”
He looked away and fidgeted, fingers toying with one of the aged pages. “I saw him last night. And the night before. He was trying to take you. I don’t like him.”
I ran a hand through his hair, soft silken strands tickling my fingers. I frowned at my son while concern crept into my blood. Bry’s “shadow man” sounded a lot like the figure I’d seen in my dreams. It made me wonder if he was having nightmares or if he’d somehow sensed what I’d seen. Brownies—my son especially—were insightful and sometimes borderline psychic, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d picked up on my dreams.
“We won’t let him take me anywhere.” I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
“Promise?”
A knot formed in my throat and my voice got caught for a moment. I didn’t want to make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep. At the same time, I didn’t want Bryony worrying about me either. “Don’t worry, kiddo. I’ve got Reggie here keeping an eye on me. Uncle Luc said he was the best pup for the job.”
“Uncle Luc lies, Mom.” The kid released a long-suffering sigh.
“Only on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.”
“Now you’re lying.” Bry narrowed his eyes.
“It’s my turn.” I sniffed. It was a normal joke we shared. There was no hiding or ignoring the family that had adopted Bry. We were liars, all of us.
The hellhound opened his red eyes and looked at us from where he laid in the corner. His ears perked up at hearing his name. Then he huffed and flopped to the side, getting more comfortable. He hadn’t moved from that spot for hours. He didn’t seem to eat or—thankfully—poop. Which was awesome. As much as I resented my uncle for giving me a watchdog, I figured it was a good thing that the pooch didn’t require walks or get distracted by physical needs. It made him the perfect guardian.
But Reggie wasn’t completely without a dog’s urges. Before Esmeralda left the room she reached into the bag of books and dug out a rather large bone, tossing it to Reggie. Demon or werewolf? I had no idea, but it was something Reggie craved because the pup hopped to his feet, tail wagging, and caught the long bone with ease.
I arched a brow at Esmeralda. The ice queen surprised me at every turn. I made a mental note to tell Jezze that Esmeralda had a soft spot for dogs. Or maybe it was just evil beasts from the bowels of Hell that tickled her fancy.
I sat with Bry for a while, both of us doing our homework. I have to admit, I was jealous of the stuff Bry got to read. While he had early elementary school books, I was buried under the weight of complex symbology and arcane lore. Now I remembered why I usually left the heavy reading to Jezze. But considering I hadn’t heard from her in a couple of days, I wasn’t counting on her to find the solution.
Doubts crept deeper into my mind as I recounted my visitors over the last few days. Visitors that didn’t include Jezze very often. She had been my best friend for hundreds of years and… she hardly came by or called. Which was fine. She was probably working on finding the answer.
But if she did learn anything, could I trust her to be truthful? Yeah, Bry and I joked about me and Uncle Luc lying, but it seemed like everyone had taken on the Prince of Lies’ habits.
It wasn’t until after dinner that night that I finally saw Jezze. Esmeralda had taken Bryony home to sleep hours ago and I still sat in bed, surrounded by books while I fought off a headache. I glanced at the clock and realized exactly how late it was—Jezze must have just closed the bar. Her voice reached me through the open door, her tone heated as she spoke to Sorsha. I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but there was no missing the furious edge to Jezze’s voice. She was arguing with the healer.
I was all for a good argument, but it didn’t take long for me to realize… Jezze wasn’t here to see me, but to talk to Sorsha. Seriously?
I huffed in frustration and pushed my books aside. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and Reggie immediately rose and padded to me. For a moment I worried the giant hound would try to pin me to the bed, but instead, he simply stood there. He patiently waited to see w
hat I’d do, at attention and loyally waiting for my next step.
He was big enough that I could lean against him; hand on his back for support when the room decided to spin. I swallowed, pushing back the bile that threatened to rise in my throat. Yeah, I wasn’t puking on the floor. Not. Happening.
Reggie let me use him as a brace while we traveled across the room and then into the hall. I’d never admit it to Uncle Luc, but I was thankful for the pup. I couldn’t have managed the walk on my own. I felt better than I had a few days ago, but it wasn’t until I’d gotten out of bed that I realized how much of the weakness still lingered.
The hellpup and I headed down the hall, slowly shuffling along, and found Jezze and Sorsha talking in the healer’s workroom. The space smelled of herbs and dirt, clean air and the crispness of magic. They both looked up when I entered and immediately fell silent. Jezze looked away, but in that brief moment, I was sure I saw tears in her eyes.
“You should be in bed.” Sorsha gave me a stern look.
“Yeah, I’ve had enough bed rest for now.”
“Caith…”
“Can it, Sorsha.” I fisted my hand in Reggie’s fur. “Jezze, what’s up? Did you find anything?”
And Jezze… didn’t say a word. She didn’t look at me, didn’t even acknowledge my presence. She merely stood there, trembling while I stared at her and that was all the answer I needed.
“Look,” I moved deeper into the room and slid onto an empty stool. “I’m tired of everyone dancing around this. I’m sick, we all know that, but you need to be straight with me.” When Jezze still didn’t acknowledge me, I added, “You know I’m dying, don’t you?”
Jezze and Sorsha exchanged a look. Did they think I was an oblivious idiot?
Jezze swallowed hard and looked my way, but didn’t meet my eyes. “We’re still looking for a cure. I’m making progress with Keller’s journal, but…”
“But you still don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Actually,” Sorsha folded her hands, “we do.”
“Ahh.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Reggie flopped to the floor next to me and propped his head on his paws. “Let’s have it then. What is it?”
Sorsha glanced at Jezze first, silently giving my friend a chance to speak.
Jezze took a deep breath and began her explanation. “Ancient magic. Something we think predates recorded history. We’re talking plagues of biblical proportions.” She finally met my eyes. “We don’t think there’s a cure because this magic is so archaic that no one has needed to search for a cure for millennia.”
“But isn’t old magic, like, old and crappier than what we know now?” I frowned. “Modern magic should have no problem kicking old magic’s ass.”
Jezze shook her head. “It’s hard to explain. The differences in magic, it’s…”
“Dumb it down for me.” I gave her a steady stare.
She huffed. “Okay. Think of it like computers. First generation computers filled whole rooms and were made with vacuum tubes.”
“Yeah, sure.” Ugh. I remembered those. I much preferred the sleekness of today’s tech.
“Okay. Say there’s a virus created on one of those old machines, and you’ve got an antivirus program that runs on a modern computer. It uses electronic signals instead of vacuum tubes.”
“Huh.” I scrunched my nose and tried to wrap my head around the metaphor. Had I mentioned how much I hated being sick? “So, you’re saying modern magic is incompatible?”
“And then some.” Jezze held up Keller’s book. “There’s some stuff in here that looks like an attempt to translate ancient magic into something we can use today. Except, it’s like trying to translate ancient hieroglyphics into modern English without a Rosetta Stone.”
“All right.” I chewed on my lip. “So, our mystery Big Bad figured out how to conjure some ancient juju and that’s what’s in my blood. And there’s no cure.”
“We won’t stop looking.” Sorsha’s voice was filled with determination, but pure determination wouldn’t keep me alive.
I nodded and focused on the far wall. I wasn’t going to let them see the tears in my eyes. “Thanks for letting me know.”
I slid from the stool and Reggie stood, offering me his support. I dug my fingers into his fur, desperately needing something to cling to, something to ground me in the now. I moved toward the door, ready to return to my room, but paused in the doorway.
Without turning around, I said, “Jezze, I need to talk to you and your mom as soon as possible. I need to make arrangements for Bryony.”
“Caith…”
“No,” I whispered, “don’t tell me it’s too soon. I’m not going to lie down and die right this second, but if I don’t survive, I want to make sure Bry is looked after.”
“Of course. You know I’ll do everything I can for him.”
I just nodded, unable to find my voice again.
I leaned on Reggie even more as we shuffled back down the hall and he remained in place while I climbed into bed. I pulled one of the books into my lap once again.
Speaking with Jezze and Sorsha had driven the truth home, and my inevitable future stabbed me in the heart. I’d already known I was knocking on Uncle Luc’s door, but I’d hoped… I hadn’t wanted to believe it was the end. I figured there’d be a cure if we worked hard enough. But no matter how hard we worked, there wouldn’t be a cure coming.
No wonder Jezze hadn’t been able to visit me—or talk to me.
I shoved my fears aside and opened the book. Maybe there wasn’t a cure for me, but I wasn’t going to stop looking for a way to survive. I was too stubborn to give up; even when everyone else told me it was hopeless.
Chapter Thirteen
The next day had me doped up and feeling pretty happy as Sorsha’s newest treatment attempt coursed through my veins. Oh, I wasn’t better, but Sorsha had upped the dosage so I at least felt functional. I was a little numb, and more than a bit dazed, but at least I managed to get out of bed under my own power. I called that a win.
I spent a chunk of the morning pacing my room with a book in my hands, using the exercise to clear my head. It was like working the kinks out of a sore muscle. Sometimes a body had to push through the pain to heal.
Unfortunately, my babysitters disagreed. A girl tries to take one step out of the building and then all of a sudden a gel and two werewolves surround her. They crowded around and herded me back to my room and Reggie didn’t even try to help me.
Traitor.
“I know you’re feeling better.” Rush gave me that same concerned look I always got from Sam. “But you can’t push yourself too hard.”
I swallowed my first instinctual, yet childish, response. You’re not the boss of me!
Instead, I crossed my arms and stared him down—even if he was taller than me. I wondered how hard I could push him if I put my mind to it, but I decided to choose my battles more carefully while I was sick. This wasn’t one worth fighting.
“Fine,” I pointed at him. “But I’m not getting back in bed.”
Then I’d returned to pacing while I eyed the window. It wouldn’t take much to climb through the opening and then I’d have all the fresh air I wanted. Except, I’d maybe get a five-minute head start before Reggie betrayed me. Hellborn bastard dog.
I sighed and pulled my attention from the yard only to have my attention snatched by the TV. The local news filled the screen and I grabbed the remote and stabbed my finger into the volume button before crawling onto the bed, resting while I watched.
The television showed an aerial view of a large mob crowding the streets of downtown Orlando. The picture wasn’t clear, the people moving frantically and camera trembling, but I recognized the signature shambling of the undead.
The ghouls.
“So far,” the reporter said while the camera panned over the mob, “rioters have refused to listen to police even after multiple orders to disperse. Police have deployed tear gas and attempted other cr
owd control measures, but the riot continues to grow. We’ve received reports of multiple citizens injured and Mayor Boyd has issued an order for all residents to remain inside their homes.”
“Shit,” I muttered.
What was Boyd thinking? Why the hell would he send police to handle ghouls? He should have known humans couldn’t do shit against those things. It was only a matter of time before the situation worsened and careened completely out of control. Then the press would realize this wasn’t a riot, and that would mean serious trouble.
The camera zoomed in; the picture still trembling but at least I was able to get a clearer look. There only seemed to be a few dozen ghouls, but if they continued rampaging unchecked, they’d infect more and more humans. Their ranks would swell, and within a few hours a horde of hundreds would be swarming the streets.
The motherfucking magic-wielder behind it all was growing bolder by the second. I shook my head. There was no one to blame but myself. If I’d been out there, hunting the ghouls and stopping them in their tracks, this wouldn’t have happened.
Instead, I’d allowed myself to be caught and caged like an animal.
“Fuck it.” I strode to the door.
Reggie bolted forward, blocking my path as he planted his hulking body in front of the exit. He stared at me, red eyes settled into a dark glare, and a low growl emanated from his throat.
“Move it, mutt.” I pointed to the corner, but Reggie didn’t budge.
And I didn’t have the strength to move him.
I stared at the hellhound, willing him to back down. My wolf came forward, the beast flowing through me with its overwhelming dominance and strength. I was a badass motherfucker and Reggie…
Reggie couldn’t have cared less. Hell, I think the pup even raised a canine eyebrow.
If I tried to push past him, the hound would tackle me and hold me immobile until Uncle Luc came to chastise me for my foolishness. That didn’t mean I was giving up.
All hail pixie power!
“All right,” I kept a close eye on Reggie. “Good boy. You’re such a good boy for doing what Uncle Luc told you,” I cooed. “Yes you are. Good doggie.”