“Hello, Ms. Quinn. It’s good to see you again. I hear you’ve been feeling a little under the weather,” she says, moving closer to me.
“Hi. Yes, I’ve been feeling weird and tired for a little while now. I think I just got a bug and wanted to make sure I was okay.”
“I see. Well, reviewing your chart I think I know exactly what’s wrong. Your bug will be over in a few months,” she says, looking down and back up at me.
“Excuse me, months? What kind of bug lasts months? I don’t have time for that, can I get a shot?”
“Annabelle, you’re expecting. This bug won’t go away for a few months when you enter your second trimester.”
“What?” I ask, staring at her like she’s the one who is sick and has lost her mind.
“You’re pregnant. I’d guess about four to six weeks along, but you’ll need to see your OB/GYN to verify and get a checkup.”
“This can’t be right; I mean how… Oh…” I let the last part fall from my lips as I remember the night Paxton and I were together. The two of us had been drinking and were lost in the moment with each other. So lost that we forgot about protection. Well, we actually didn’t. Neither of us had anything since we aren’t very active in the sex department. Plus, I’ve been taking the pill since I was in high school. You would’ve thought that was enough to fight off his little swimmers. Apparently, one was an Olympic swimmer. Might as well call that one Michael Phelps because he just broke the record inside my vagina.
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“No, I’m pretty sure I know how this happened.” I slouch forward as I hang my head down. She excuses herself as I just sit here trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do. Really not what I’m going to do, but what’s my next step.
After checking out, I stand in the hallway outside the office and dial up my OB. Lucky for me they can get me in later today as they had a cancellation. Quickly, I dial Brooke and beg for her to meet me there at four thirty. I don’t explain why. I just tell her that I need her. I do the same with Miranda. There’s no way I can get this confirmation without one of them being there. Lucky for me, I get both of them. Maybe the results were wrong. Perhaps it was a false positive as I’ve heard of this happening. If it’s a real positive, I’ve got to figure out how to tell Paxton. This isn’t something either one of us has planned. Will he freak out like I want to right now? He’s just admitted to wanting a real relationship, and now I’m going to throw fatherhood at him. Not giving a shit about the way I look, I make my way to my office. I need to focus on anything and everything else in my life other than the reality that’s fixing to be my life. I’ll work for a few hours and then go for a second opinion.
* * *
Sitting in the middle of my OB’s office, my leg bounces in anticipation of what’s to come. Neither Brooke nor Miranda have arrived yet. This might be the first time in history that I pray my doctor is running late. Right as my name’s called, the door flies open with a breathless Brooke and Miranda rushing through. I offer a slight smile as the three of us head toward the nurse.
“Ms. Quinn, it’s good to see you again,” the nurse says as she escorts me to the open room where she questions me on the reason for my appointment today. I’ve not told Brooke nor Miranda the reason yet either. Bracing myself for the next words that come from my mouth, I let out a long sigh and quickly state:
“My family doctor says I’m pregnant, and I need to verify.” The deep inhale of breaths next to me cause fear for me to turn and look at them in the face. It’s not a fear of them being disappointed, but more of how they are taking this news. My nurse writes a few things down in my file as I avoid eye contact with my friends.
“Okay, I’m going to need a sample,” she instructs, and on cue, I stand and head to the bathroom. When I come back, I answer her questions and watch as she writes them down all before we follow her to an exam room. After instructing me to strip from the waist down, she exits the room. I step behind the curtain and wait for the curious minds to interrogate me. Lucky for me, they wait until I hop up on the exam table.
“Do you care to explain, or are you just going to make us wait?” Brooke questions as Miranda stands next to her with her arms crossed over her chest.
“What’s there to explain? We’re here for a second opinion and all the answers to your questions. And before you ask, yes, it’s Paxton’s.”
“Hold up… When did you have sex with Paxton?” Miranda asks as Brooke looks away. Brooke knows that she can’t act like she already knew this. If she does Miranda will feel left out. Silently, I plead with Brooke to play along. With a quick wink from Brooke, I relax as I know she gets it. She understands the need for peace in our triangle.
“That night after we left the bar,” is all I can say before Dr. Stapleton enters the room.
“Ms. Quinn, I see here we might be expecting,” she states as she pulls her rolling stool before me and takes a seat.
“That’s what the rumor is.”
“I’d have to agree; your test came back positive. Let’s do a quick checkup, and then we can do an ultrasound. Let me grab the machine, and I’ll be right back.”
“Does he know yet?” Brooke asks.
“No.”
“I want to know why we didn’t know you two slept together,” Miranda states as she sulks next to Brooke.
“We can talk about this later, you two. Right now I need answers.”
“That makes the three of us,” Brooke states right before Dr. Stapleton comes back with her ultrasound machine.
“Lie back and slide down to the edge of the table. Since you’re close to your yearly, we’ll go ahead and do a pap smear to get that out of the way.” I do as instructed, placing my hands above my head as I stare up at the ceiling tiles. Before I know it, two sets of hands grab hold of mine and squeeze tight. After the doctor’s finished, she explains the vaginal ultrasound and how next time I should be able to get the adnominal one. Seems that the baby is the size of a poppy seed and we’re only looking at the sac on the monitor. She steadies her hand, taking snapshots every so often. Finished, she allows me to sit up before continuing with due dates, appointments, vitamins, and what to avoid. I don’t hear any of it. All I can do is stare at her lips moving and nod every so often. Mentally praying that either Brooke or Miranda got all that information because I sure the hell didn’t.
“Any questions for me?” she asks as she stands and pats me on the leg.
“No, I think I’m good for now.”
“Alright, well if you have any problems just call the office, and we’ll see what we can do. If not, I’ll see you in four weeks.”
“Okay,” I say, shifting from side to side as the room is now starting to get uncomfortable, or is it the fact that I feel it closing in on me?
“Annabelle, we’ll meet you out front, okay?” Brooke states as she follows the doctor out of the room. I’m thankful for this quiet moment to myself. I need it to gather my thoughts, my feelings, and most crucial—preparation. Preparing for the million questions that are about to come. The only thing that scares me right now is the fact that I could lose Paxton over this. I know from the past that if he’s not ready for something, he pulls away.
After checking out and making my next appointment, the three of us walk out to the hallway and wait for our elevator.
“Can we come over and talk about all this with you?” Brooke asks with an expression I’ve never seen on her face before. It’s one mixed with excitement, fear, and the unknown.
“Sure,” I say, shrugging as we exit.
The girls flag down the cab, escorting me in and directing the driver to my apartment. When we enter my place, it’s like we were transported there through time. I don’t remember the drive, paying the driver, or anything other than the fact that I’m pregnant.
I’m not sure how long they allow me to wallow in self-pity. It’s not until three people are standing before me with stern faces that I finally sit up. I take in
the way Brooke, Miranda, and Jace are staring. All three of them have their arms across their chests, faces stern.
“What,” is all I say as I pull the blanket back over my lap.
“First, we need the story, and Jace brought you more of that chicken broth you seem to be able to keep down.”
“Thanks,” I say, glancing up at Jace.
“Welcome, and if you need anything just call me. I’m pretty sure I don’t need the story of how this happened.”
“Pretty sure you don’t unless you need to know where babies come from,” Miranda says.
“I’m out, see ya later, Annabelle.” Just like that, Jace is gone, leaving me with the other two who are dying to know how this happened. Each of them takes their seats around me, and if glares could make you combust, I’d be a ball of fire.
I go back, explaining about college and that night after we left the bar. How Paxton and I had so much built-up energy for each other that we lost our minds. Which by doing so, created a life that neither of us are ready for. Seems tequila and myself are no longer friends.
Chapter Seventeen
Paxton
After finding my gate, I situate myself in the corner where I can call Belle. We’ve not spoken since I was halfway up the mountain. All I’ve done is think about her and how she’s feeling. I hate that this next flight isn’t taking me home to her, but yet to the Yucatan Peninsula. Howard, my boss, and I have been in a battle the last few days on where I go after that. Being scheduled for two weeks or more in the Yucatan. It’s a coin toss for the next trip which is said to be my last. I’ve been praying that this would be it, but no such luck. Something deep inside is pulling at me to be back in New York. The dead silence from everyone isn’t the norm. Even with Brooke and Miranda, I’m used to getting a random email from time to time. Especially with Belle being sick. I glance down at my watch trying to gauge what time it is back in New York. It’s a little after eight in the evening. If I know Belle, she’s perched on a barstool in the kitchen working.
I hit the call button on my Skype app and wait as it rings…
Nothing…
Dead silence…
I double-check, and the icon shows she’s online, but that’s also because she’s always online even if she’s not sitting in front of the device.
Drumming my fingers on the keyboard, I give it a few more minutes before trying it again.
Just as I’m about to disconnect, the screen opens. I quickly notice that the background is dark, and I can hear Belle shifting in her bed to flip the lamp on next to her. With the amber glow behind Belle, she looks as if I woke her.
“Hi,” her sleepy voice says, confirming that she was asleep. I double-check the time, thinking I calculated the time difference wrong.
“Hi, did I wake you?”
“It’s okay, I fell asleep working. Where are you?”
“What time is it there? I thought it was around eight. I’m at the airport waiting for my flight.”
“Oh,” she says as she turns her head to look at her clock before coming back. “It’s eight here. Where you going?”
“Yucatan for a few weeks. Want me to let you go so you can sleep?”
“No, I’m okay. I was just taking a catnap.”
I watch as she shifts in the bed, bringing the computer with her. Her hair’s piled high up on her head, her complexion is still pale, but that’s not where my eyes land. Belle’s wearing her pink tank top with no bra. The way her breasts are plunging from her top, I can’t help but wonder if she’s wearing a smaller shirt than usual. Or, is this me noticing things now.
“You feeling better?”
“Some, yes… I guess.” Belle’s voice is so soft I can barely register what she said.
“Did you go to the doctor?”
“Yes, I’m fine; nothing to worry about I guess.”
“You’re acting weird, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, sorry. Just tired and don’t worry. Enough about me, are you excited for the next trip?”
“I’ll always worry about you, Belle, you know this. It doesn’t matter where I am in the world, I’ll always want to know that you’re okay. For the record I am, but I wish I were coming home.”
“I wish you were too. I know you worry, but promise me you won’t. I’ll be okay.”
“Okay, but let’s just settle with I won’t worry as much; how about that?”
“That works,” she says, but I quickly notice that her smile doesn’t meet her eyes. I watch as she yawns, and the sound of her phone breaks me from my thoughts.
“Hold on, Pax,” she says before answering her phone. I can hear the conversation, and I don’t have to ask who it is she’s talking to. It’s Jace, and from what I gather he’s bringing her dinner. A part of me wants to ask, but the other side of that wants to pretend he doesn’t exist. That there’s not another man in her life trying to take my place.
“Sorry, I’m back.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say as the silence between us falls deeper. How is it that two people who have known each other for most of their lives have nothing to say at this moment.
“We’re about to board. Go get some rest, and I’ll call soon.”
“Okay… Hey, Pax?”
“Yes, Belle.”
“You okay?”
“I am, I just miss you and I’m tired.”
“Same here. See you soon,” Belle says, offering a smile that confirms something is wrong.
“See ya soon,” I say instead of telling her that I love her. It seems wrong to say it this time. Like it would add an extra strain to our lives if we exchanged those words. Is everything that I thought we were going to have ruined? Did I mess this up by giving in to the desire that I had for her body? Should I have told Howard no and stayed put for at least a few more days? The problem with doing that, I’d only push out my assignments longer. By leaving when I did, I’m able to wrap this up and be back hopefully within the next month. It’s not the first time I’ve been gone this long, or even longer. We’ve made it this far, and with some luck, we can repair what I might have messed up.
Chapter Eighteen
Annabelle
It’s been a week since I last spoke with Paxton. I can’t say that I’m happy nor am I depressed. I’m confused. I don’t know if I should tell him now or when he comes back home. But then I’m not a hundred percent sure when that’ll be. What if it’s longer than four months? I know that’s crazy, especially since that’s the longest he’s ever been away. I blame my emotions. They have me high and low all at the same time. Take yesterday for example. I was doing my follow-up calls with a few clients who just recently had dates. One was explaining how the two of them just clicked. How they spent the whole night talking, holding hands, and planning the next date. Before I could hang up with her, I was a blubbering mess of waterworks.
Let’s not even focus on how I can go from laughing to crying with Jace in a two-second time frame. For someone who hasn’t known me for long, he’s been one person that I’ve come to count on these days. Jace has figured out that I hate to cook. That my mind is far too foggy to remember to stop and pick something up for dinner on the way home. He might have also figured out that I’ve been living off chicken broth and peanut butter toast. This bit of information has him bringing me dinner when he comes home. Or, shall I say, a snack when I wake up when he knocks? My new routine is sleep, work, sleeping while on lunch, home, nap, eat, sleep. I’ve been sleeping so much that I had to go commando to work the other day. Seems that I’ve forgotten to do laundry over the last few weeks. And the unwelcomed draft that I now have has caused me to stop by to purchase new undies, bras, and a few new tops that I found on clearance.
My newfound breasts have decided to no longer want to live inside my shirts. With my job, it’s not appropriate to flop one out while getting contracts and first dates finalized. Yes, we were on the verge of having a wardrobe malfunction like Janet Jackson in the middle of the Super Bowl halftime show. I’m
not buying a lot now as I know things are still growing and stretching. But there comes a time when you just have to get a few things to be comfortable.
I joined an online group for expectant mothers and have been stalking each topic. The other night I ventured over to the third-trimester discussion. After reading a few of the posts, I went back to the first-trimester side. Brooke bought me the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book, and I’ve made it all the way through the first section.
Baby and I are close to nine weeks. According to the sites, I should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat at my appointment this week. I was supposed to go back last week but had to reschedule due to a meeting, and then Dr. Stapleton had to move it for emergency surgery. I was kind of hoping that Paxton would be back by now and able to attend this visit. Instead, I plan to record it on my phone for him. Once I get the courage up to tell him, I’ll share this moment.
* * *
I’m waiting for Dr. Stapleton to come join my party of two. I’ve written down a list of things to ask and just in case I forgot the actual piece of paper, I have it on my phone for backup. At my first appointment, we didn’t set an exact due date as she’d explained that I was still early on. This time I’ve been promised to leave with a solid due date.
“Afternoon, Annabelle, how are we feeling these days?”
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