The Advantages of Demolishing
If your baby is examining the different components of things, he often ends up by taking something apart bit by bit. If your baby starts to demolish, give him playthings he can explore in this way. Stack some blocks for him so that he can remove them one by one. Show him how to do it. You can do the same with doughnut rings of different sizes that stack on a rod. Also try giving him a pile of magazines, which he can move one by one. See what other games your baby invents by himself and support him if it is not dangerous or too costly. You may also show how you take things apart yourself. This experience is very important, because after the next leap he can use this knowledge to his advantage when he starts to assemble instead of demolish.
“My son likes to fiddle with locks on cabinets and doors. Even if the key’s been turned a quarter of the way, he still manages to get it out.”
John’s mom, 37th week
“My son’s playing is much more concentrated now. Sometimes, he’ll even examine two things at the same time. For instance, he will take his time to mash a piece of banana with one hand, and crush a piece of apple with the other. Meanwhile, he’ll look from one hand to the other.”
Frankie’s mom, 42nd week
“My baby examines sand, water, pebbles, and sugar by putting some in his fist and feeling it for a very long time. Then he’ll put it in his mouth.”
Bob’s mom, 40th week
Sometimes, a baby loves rubbing other parts of her body against objects, or she will pick something up and run it past her body. This way, the baby will become even more familiar with whatever she is examining, so give her this opportunity.
“I put a swing up for my son in a doorway. There’s a knot under the seat, and that’s his favorite part. He’ll sit under the swing and hold on to the doorpost, so that he can raise himself a little when the knot swings past his head and touches his hair. He’ll just sit there, experiencing the feeling of it.”
Bob’s mom, 39th week
In the world of categories some babies like to experiment with handling people, animals, and objects roughly and carefully. If you see yours doing this, let her know that certain things hurt and objects can break. If she experiments like this, she knows perfectly well what she is doing.
“My son often bites me and sometimes handles his toys and other things very roughly. And yet, at times he can also be careful in an exaggerated way. He’ll stroke flowers and ants with one little finger, only to squash them seconds later. Then, when I say ’shh, careful’ he’ll start touching with one little finger again.”
Bob’s mom, 40th week
“When we were in the bath, my son started to examine my nipple very carefully, with one little finger, only to continue pushing, pulling, and poking it around. His own penis was next. He was a bit more careful with that!”
Matt’s mom, 41st week
“First, my baby examines my eyes, ears, and nose with her little index finger. Then she tickles them. Then, as she gets more and more excited, she gets rougher, pushing and poking at my eyes, pulling at my ears and nose, and sticking a finger up my nostril.”
Nina’s mom, 39th week
Some babies compare the weights of playthings and other objects. If yours is discovering the categories heavy and light, give her the opportunity to experiment.
“My baby lifts everything she walks past up for a moment.”
Jenny’s mom, 41st week
Usually, your baby studies the concepts high and low, little and large through crawling, climbing, standing, or walking. She will climb onto, over, and under everything. She will do this sedately, in a controlled manner, almost as if she is planning out how to do things.
“My son tries to crawl under and through everything. He looks for a while, then off he goes. Yesterday, he got stuck under the bottom step of the stairs. We all panicked!”
John’s mom, 40th week
Give an Active Baby Room to Investigate
From this age on, it usually becomes more and more important to give a mobile baby enough room in order to give him ample opportunity to investigate all sorts of categories. An already physically active baby may now become more dexterous and stable while sitting, standing, crawling, and walking. As a result, he will be able to do much more with his body. He can choose to squat, crawl, or climb up onto furniture or stand on his toes when he wants to reach something. Allow him to crawl through your home, climb onto things, and hoist himself up on the most impossible ledges. Secure the safety gates by the stairs on the second or third step, and allow him to practice going up and down stairs. Place a mattress at the bottom of the stairs, so that he can not hurt himself.
“My son clambers up everything. He even tried to scale the smooth surface of a wall.”
John’s mom, 42nd week
“My little girl was sitting in her high chair at the table, and before I knew it, she had climbed onto the table. I guess I need eyes in the back of my head now.
Emily’s mom, 42nd week
Your little crawler can learn a lot outside as well. Give him room there, too. For instance, walk with him in the woods, at the beach, at a lake, in the sandbox, and in the park. Just as long as you do not lose sight of him.
Baby Care
Make His Surroundings Baby-Proof
Make sure that the space your baby is exploring is safe. But nevertheless, do not take your eyes off him for a single second. He will always manage to find something that can be dangerous that you might not have thought of.
Top Games for This Wonder Week
Here are games and activities that most babies like best now and that will help them practice their newly developing skills.
EXPLORING
Some things will seem absolutely fascinating to your baby, but venturing out on his own voyage of discovery may be dangerous or impossible. So help him. You can help him handle breakable picture frames or heavy figurines, for instance, so that he won’t break them or hurt himself but will satisfy his curiosity.
Bells and Switches
Allow your baby to ring a doorbell. He will be able to hear right away what he is doing. You could let him press a button in the elevator as well. This way, he will feel he’s doing something grown-up Allow him to turn on the light when it is very dark, so that he can see what the effect is. Let him push the button in the bus sometimes, or at a pedestrian crossing, and explain to him what is happening that he should look for. This will teach him something about the relationship between what he is doing and what happens next.
Outdoor Exploration
At this age, most babies can not get enough of being outdoors. Taking your baby outdoors will teach him a lot as well. He will see new things. Whether you’re bike riding, walking, stroller jogging, or backpacking, be sure to stop now and then to allow your baby to look closer at, listen to, and touch things.
Dressing
Many babies seem to have no time for dressing and grooming. They are far too busy with other things. But they love to look at themselves and are even more interested when something is being done to them. Use this to its advantage. Towel your baby off, dress, and undress him in front of a mirror so that he can play a sort of peek-a-boo game with himself at the same time.
WORDS
Your baby often understands a lot more than you think, and he loves being able to demonstrate this. He will now start to expand the range of words and phrases he understands with pleasure.
Naming
Name the things your baby looks at or listens to. When your baby expresses with gestures what he wants, translate his question for him by putting it into words. This will teach him that he can use words to express himself.
Let your baby choose a book and hand it to him. Take him on your lap or seat him close beside you. This way he can turn the pages by himself. Point to the picture he is looking at and name the object. You can also make the appropriate sounds for the particular animal or object you are pointing to. Encourage your baby to make that word or sound as well
. Don’t try to continue if your baby loses interest. Some babies need a momentary cuddle or tickle after each page to keep their attention focused.
Tasks
Ask your baby if he will give you whatever he is holding by saying, for instance, “Give it to Mommy. “ Ask him to give it to Daddy as well sometime. You can also ask him to get something for you—for instance, “Pass me the toothbrush,” and “Get me the ball. “ Also try calling him sometime when you are out of sight: “Where are you?” and have him answer. Or ask him to come to you, “Come over here. “ Praise him if he participates, and continue only as long as your baby still enjoys it.
COPYCAT
Many babies study other people with great interest and love imitating what they see other people do If your baby does this as well, mimic him and encourage him to mimic you
Do This
First, challenge your baby to imitate whatever you are doing, then imitate him again. Often he will be able to go on forever, taking turns doing the same thing over and over. Try alternating your gestures as well. Make the gestures a little faster or slower. Try making them with the other hand, or with two hands. Try making them with sound or without, and so on. Try doing this game in front of a mirror as well. Some babies love repeating gestures in front of a mirror while watching themselves to see how everything is done.
Talking to the Mirror
If your baby is interested in the positions of the mouth, try practicing them sometime in front of a mirror. Turn it into a game. Sit down in front of the mirror together and toy with vowels, consonants or words, whatever your baby likes best. Give him time to watch and copy. Many babies love watching themselves imitating gestures as well, such as movements of hand and head. Try this sometime, too. If your baby can see himself while he is imitating you, he will immediately be able to see whether he is doing it just like you.
Pat a Cake
Sing Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man, and let your baby feel every move that goes with the song. In order to do this, take his hands in yours and make the movements together. Sometimes babies will imitate the clapping of their own accord. Or they will raise their hands. They are still unable to imitate all the movements in sequence at this age, but they are able to enjoy them.
ROLE SWITCHING
Encourage your baby to take up a role he has seen you or an older child perform. Then try to switch roles.
Chase
You can consider this the first game of tag. It can be played crawling or walking. Try turning the game around sometime as well—crawl or walk away, and clearly indicate that you expect he will come after you. Try to escape if your baby makes attempts at catching you. If your baby does catch you, or you have caught him, then cuddle him or raise him up high in the air.
Hide-and-Seek
Hide yourself in such a way that your baby sees you disappear, then let him look for you. Also try pretending sometime that you have lost him and are looking for him. Sometimes babies are quick to hide and will stay behind their beds or hide in corners very quietly. Usually, they will pick the spot you were just hiding in or one that was a smash hit the day before. React with enthusiasm when you have found each other.
Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Play-acting
If your baby is very bright socially, she will be able to pretend that she is sad, sweet, or distressed from this point on. Such emotional states are categories, too. This means that she can start manipulating or taking advantage of you. Usually, mothers fall for this at first. Some simply refuse to believe that their children, still only babies, could be capable of doing anything like this deliberately. Others are secretly a little proud. If you see your little one is putting on an act, allow her to have a taste at success, if possible. But at the same time, let her know that you know what she is doing. This will teach her that the use of emotions is important, but that she can not use them to manipulate you.
“During the day, my girl is very troublesome, really pesky, but when it’s time for her to go to bed in the evening, she plays like a little angel. It’s as if she thinks, ‘As long as I behave myself, I don’t have to go to bed.’ It’s useless, anyway, trying to put her to bed when she isn’t tired yet, because she’ll refuse to stay lying down. Last Friday, she went to bed at 11:30 P.M.”
Jenny’s mom, 37th week
“If I’m talking with someone, my son will suddenly need instant help, or he’ll pretend that he injured himself on something.”
Matt’s mom, 39th week
Sometimes a baby will take up a role she has seen her mother or an older child perform. This is possible now because she knows that she is a person, the same way other people are. In other words, both she and other people belong to the same category. As a result she is able to do the same things that other people can do. She can hide, just as her mother used to, and make her the seeker. She can go get her own toys when she feels like playing with them. Always respond to this, even if only for a short while.
This will teach her that she is making herself understood and that she is important.
Top Toys for This Wonder Week
Here are toys and things that most babies like best as they explore the world of categories.
Anything that opens and closes like doors and drawers
Pans with lids
Doorbells, bus bells, elevator buttons, traffic light buttons
Alarm clocks
Magazines and newspapers to tear
Plastic plates and cups with plastic silverware
Things that are larger than he is, such as boxes or buckets
Cushions and duvets to crawl over and under
Containers, especially round ones, pots, and bottles
Anything that he is able to move, such as handles or knobs
Anything that moves by itself, such as shadows or branches
Balls of all sizes, from ping-pong balls to large beach balls
Dolls with realistic faces
Blocks in all shapes and sizes, the larger the better
Baby pools
Sand, water, pebbles, and plastic tools
Swings
Picture books with one or two large, distinct pictures per page
Posters with several distinct pictures
Toy cars
But beware of other things they are attracted to like: electrical plugs and switches, washing machines, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, other appliances and stairs.
“This week, another child a little older than my son visited our home. My son and the other little girl each had a bottle. At a certain point, the little girl stuck her bottle in my baby’s mouth and started feeding him. She kept holding the bottle herself. The next day, I had him on my lap and was giving him a bottle. Suddenly, he took the bottle and stuck it in my mouth, then started laughing, drank some himself, then stuck it back in my mouth. I was amazed. He’d never done anything like that before.”
Paul’s mom, 41st week
The Importance of Consistency
Mothers are always proud of their babies’ progress and accomplishments, and they automatically react with excitement and surprise. But some of those accomplishments can be mischievous. At first, a mischievous accomplishment may be amusing and your baby may take your delight or surprise as approval. She thinks she is being funny and will repeat the behavior time after time, even when mother tells her “no. ”
You will now need to be more consistent with your baby. When you disallow something once, it is better not to condone it the next time. Your baby loves putting you to the test.
“My baby’s getting funnier and funnier because she’s starting to become mischievous. She says brrr when she’s got a mouth full of porridge, covering me with the stuff. She opens cupboards she’s not allowed to touch and throws the cat’s water all over the kitchen.”
Laura’s mom, 38th week
“My daughter won’t listen to me. When I tell her ‘no,’ she laughs, even if I’m really angry with her. But when her babysitter says �
�no,’ she cries. I wonder if this is because I work. Perhaps I give in too much when I’m home, out of guilt.”
Laura’s mom, 39th week
“My daughter stood by a stroller with the neighbors’ little boy in it and started playing peek-a-boo with him. Together, they thought it was the funniest thing.”
Emily’s mom, 40th week
Some little ones love to play the role of giver. It doesn’t matter what things they give, just as long as they can keep giving and receiving—preferably the latter. If your baby gives anything at all, it goes without saying that she expects to get it back immediately. She will often understand the words “Can I have. . . ,” as well as “please.” So you can combine the giving-and-receiving game with speech, helping her to understand things even better.
“My daughter likes to show everyone her biscuit with a big smile on her face. Of course, one is not expected to take the biscuit. She quickly retreats her hand when she thinks this would happen. The other day, she proudly reached out to show granddad’s dog her cookie, but he wolfed it away in a flash. Flabbergasted, she looked at her empty hand and then she cried of anger.”
Hannah’s mom, 41st week
Show Understanding for Irrational Fears
When your baby is learning a new skill, she may also discover a new danger and develop fear. One of these is the fear of the category heights. Another one is the fear of being confined. When your baby suddenly acts scared, sympathize with her, try to find out what is bothering her, and help her. Babies tend to be wary of new things until they are sure they are harmless.
The Wonder Weeks Page 20