by CP Smith
“I’ll be right behind you,” I joined in. “Besides, what harm could come from a little lemonade with your mother?”
He mumbled something that sounded like, “Famous last words,” then nodded.
“Great! I’ll walk you to your bike.”
I winked at his mother then grabbed Nate’s hand, pulling him down the wheelchair ramp to the driveway.
“I don’t like this,” Nate sighed, pulling me into his arms, resigned to the fact his mother would probably pull out the photo albums.
“I’ll make you a promise,” I stated. “If she pulls out the photo albums and there are any nude pics of you as a baby, I’ll only steal one or two.”
His lips twitched. “Is that right?”
“Yep. But all bets are off if there are any of you and some high school girlfriend. I’ll burn them straightaway, then hunt them down, and let them know they can give up their fantasy of gettin’ you back. Like I told The Nat last night, finders keepers losers weepers.”
He smiled full-on, morphing his beautiful face into devastating. He truly was a fallen angel sent from heaven. “You’re a fuckin’ nut.”
“I told you my head was a messed-up place, but you wouldn’t listen.”
His eyes softened at the corners, then he slowly lowered his head until his lips hovered just out of my reach. “News flash, Kitten, messed up apparently turns me on.”
His nearness caused my pulse to spike. I could stare into his brown orbs forever and realized with clarity that I wanted to. “Then you’ll die a happy man,” I responded, “’cause no one is screwier than I am.”
His eyes flared at the admission I wanted to be there for the rest of his life. I inhaled sharply when his mouth covered mine, the urgency and heat of the kiss suggesting he felt something similar, so I tightened my hold on his shirt and kissed back with equal fervor. When he released me, I held on tight for balance. My knees were weaker than a virgin romance heroine receiving her first kiss. I felt my cheeks begin to heat when it occurred to me we had an audience, and I snuck a glance at his mother. She was grinning from ear to ear.
That wasn’t awkward at all. Not one bit.
Nate started to straddle his bike, but I stopped him with my hand. “About that meeting with Devin and Bo,” I said, building up my courage. It was time to open up to Nate and give him dragon’s name. “I know it has to do with findin’ the man who abused me. You should know that Knox knows you’ve been lookin’ for convicted child molesters and he put two and two together.” His hand rose to brush back hair that had blown into my face. His expression was worried, his brows pulled tightly across his brow. I pressed a finger to his lips to keep him from asking any questions. It was over and done with. I’d survived admitting the truth. “You asked me once if I knew the name of my abuser. I don’t. Not really. All I remember is the name Dragon. I could have made it up in my head because he scared me so much, or I could have heard someone call him that. But I wanted you to know. I should have said somethin’ when I was younger, I know that now.” A harsh pang of regret washed over me. I should have said something sooner. I should have been braver. “I promise, if I think of anything else that will help with your search, I’ll call you.”
Nate seemed surprised by my admission. “You’re tellin’ me the man’s name was Dragon?”
I nodded. “At least I think it was. It’s how I always thought of him.”
Nate yanked me forward and wrapped his solid body around me. I hugged him back, burying my face in his chest. “The dragon who chased you in the dark,” he growled, repeating what I said to my father the day we met. “That’s why you said that.” I nodded against his chest. “I swear to Christ, he’ll never touch you again. Not ever again.”
“I believe you.” And I did. Over the course of two days, I’d grown stronger, thanks to Nate. I could handle my past now. Bernice was right: love slays dragons the size of Atlanta. And not just romantic love. Sienna’s presence in my life the past two years, and both the Wallflowers unconditional love the past few weeks became my touchstones. The foundation that made everything to this point possible. Their unwavering support and belief in me, allowed me to take a chance on Nate because I knew they’d be there for me no matter what.
Nate’s steadfast pursuit since my father came back proved to me there were still men I could trust. And my father’s deep, abiding love for my mother seemed to have melted my frozen heart, allowing it to beat with something other than hatred.
Love truly did conquer all.
Who knew?
Well, Bernice did. But it was a rhetorical question.
Nate tipped my head back and placed a kiss on my lips—whisper-soft. Just a touch so brief I wasn’t sure if he had. Then he mumbled, “Proud of you,” before pressing his lips to my forehead and climbing on his bike to leave.
I said nothing as he pulled out, unable to speak. He was proud of me. If he’d told me he loved me, it wouldn’t have meant more.
I waved as he let off the clutch and raced down the street.
Nate was proud of me. Who would have thought one simple word could mean so much?
“I can see by the look on your face, you’re in love with my boy,” Evie called out.
I went from awestruck to dumbstruck as I made my way back to the porch swing and sat down.
“I . . . We. . . Come again?”
She beamed at me. “I couldn’t have picked better for him.”
“Um, we just met a few—”
“Yes, yes, I know all about it. Martine has been pumpin’ Bernice for information since he got back from that dude ranch. We knew the minute he hightailed it out of town it was because of a woman.”
“Nate came to help out with Boris and Natasha.”
“He did, I agree. When Devin called, he had a meeting scheduled for the next morning. Said he’d be up after it was over. But the minute Devin mentioned the danger involved women called the Wallflowers, Nate cleared his schedule and left as soon as possible.”
If I’d had a cold dead heart, that would have warmed the cockles of it, knowing Nate came rushing to the ranch because he thought we were in danger.
“And here I thought Nate was springin’ a surprise on you by bringin’ me here. I worried you wouldn’t like me or that you thought we were movin’ too fast,” I chuckled. “Is there anything you don’t know about us?”
She bobbed her head back and forth. “Not much, I suspect.”
“Okay. What don’t I know about your son?”
Her brilliant smile turned sad. “You don’t know that Nate thinks he’s just like his father.”
I blinked, confused. “Why on earth would he think he’s just like a man who beat his wife and son?”
“DNA,” she answered, shaking her head in the same disbelief I felt. “His father used to say, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’, and Nate took it to heart.”
“Nate abusive?” I almost laughed at the notion. “That’s impossible. He’s the most carin’ man I’ve met.”
She raised her hands and shrugged her shoulders. “Like I said earlier, when Nate gets somethin’ in his head he . . . he can be stubborn as the day is long when he wants somethin’, and unbendable if he thinks he’s right.”
She wasn’t kidding about that. I’d seen it firsthand. “I’ve experienced some of that myself,” I agreed, my mouth curving into a smirk.
“My son is the best of men, but his need to protect those he cares about brings out an irrational singlemindedness. It’ll take a strong woman to ride those waves when he’s blinded by rage,” she advised, watching me like a hawk. “Can you handle that?”
Could I handle taming the beast?
“Nate led me from down a dark path back into the light,” I began. Just the thought of where I’d been and how far I’d come in such a short time left a knot in my throat. But I spoke through it as tears formed in my eyes. “I’ve been hidin’ since I was a child. I was frightened for a good reason, but unwillin’ to face my demons. Nate
. . . he pushed me to confront them. No one has been able to do that. Not even my best friends.” I wiped a tear from my cheek. “So, yeah, I’m willin’ to do whatever it takes to ride any waves that come our way.”
Evie’s eyes also sparkled with moisture. She reached out her hand and squeezed mine, her mouth pulling into a soft smile of encouragement. “Pain teaches us to become somethin’ better; somethin’ stronger than we were before, as long as we don’t feed our past demons. Don’t allow Nate to feed his past.”
I paused at her words. “Feed it?”
“Yes. Feed the pain. The sorrow. The wolf.”
“The wolf?”
“Yes. The wolf. My people have always told the story about two wolves, passed down generation after generation. It’s about an old Cherokee man teachin’ his grandson about life and how to make the right decisions.” She closed her eyes as if remembering, then she began reciting the tale. “‘A fight is going on inside me,’ he said to his grandson.” She whispered this as the story came to her, reciting words I had no doubt were rote to her. “‘It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil,’ he explained to the grandson, ‘He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good,’ he then pointed out. ‘He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.’ Of course, the boy was curious why his grandfather was tellin’ him this, so the old man explained, ‘That same fight is going on inside of you, my grandson, and it will for the rest of your life–and inside every other person you meet.’ His grandson thought about it for a minute,” Evie explained, smiling serenely, “and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf will win?’ The grandfather, who was a very wise man, simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’”
I was speechless. That was one of the best explanations about how to deal with life I’d ever heard.
“So don’t let Nate feed the wrong wolf,” she said with authority.
My tears fell freely then. “If I feed Nate love and all the rest that is good, will that stop him from feedin’ the wrong wolf?”
Her smile broke brilliantly across her face. “He won’t even know the other wolf exists.”
I nodded and wiped my face free of tears. “Good. I’ll do that then. He won’t even know that evil wolf exists.”
Gertie raised her head and yawned at that proclamation, reminding me I promised Nate I’d follow shortly.
“You want some help gettin’ Gertie back to Nate?”
I looked at the muscular dog then at Nate’s mother. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I wasn’t sure how she could help me. “Um, sure. If you know a trick to get her on her feet and into my car, that’d be great.”
Evie pointed to an old chest sitting on the porch. “Open that and pull out the harness and lead.”
I did as she asked and moved to Gertrude. She was a lug who barely moved while I tried to manipulate her body into the harness. When I was done, I stood and patted my leg. She looked up at me with big brown eyes but didn’t budge.
“Is there a trick to get her to move?”
Evie wiggled her eyebrows. I watched as she released the brakes on her wheelchair then held out her hand. I looked at the leash then her hand.
“Please tell me you’ve done this before.” I had terrible visions of her laid out on the lawn and me having to call Nate to tell him I killed his mother with his dog. I was certain doggicide would probably destroy our budding relationship, no matter how much my dysfunctional brain turned him on.
The moment Evie took hold of the leash, Gertrude stood. “Gertie and I do this all the time,” she said, smirking.
I caught the gleam in her eye. “I’m bettin’ Nate doesn’t know, does he?”
“A woman has to have her secrets.” She laughed.
If you’d have told me that the woman in front of me had been beaten by her husband for years, resulting in her being paralyzed, I would have called you a big fibber. But here I stood, watching as Gertrude walked slowly toward the ramp, pulling Evie behind her like a snow dog with a sled. She clearly hadn’t fed the first wolf. After all she’d been through, she chose the path of love and peace, and I had no doubt that was why Nate was the kind of man he was.
I followed behind them, ready to grab the handles on her chair in case of an emergency, but I needn’t have worried. The moment the chair started picking up speed on the decline, Gertrude picked up her pace and ran while Evie threw her hands in the air like she was riding a roller coaster. Once they made it to the bottom, Evie coasted a few feet then pulled on Gertrude’s leash, slowing their pace. Gertrude responded without hesitation then wiggled her large girth in excitement. It was a sight to behold.
I thought about what Evie had said earlier, about not seeing Nate and Martine enough. “Do you want to come with me?”
She smiled brightly. “Another time. My friends and I go out every Wednesday and Saturday. We always hit the mall then go out to dinner.”
“Ahhh. So all that about bein’ stuck here day in and day out was for Nate’s benefit.”
“What good momma doesn’t employ manipulation, every now and again, to get what she wants?”
I opened the back door of my car and grabbed Gertrude’s leash, urging her inside. “And you wanted to talk to me about not feedin’ the wolf?”
“That and to let you know that any woman who can clear the dead weight from my son’s eyes has my approval. He’s been broken most of his life, Poppy. But two weeks ago, I saw a spark that had never been there before. It may have been dull in the beginnin’, but it grew each day. Then two days ago Martine said it ignited into a flame. He has a purpose again, besides that bar, and it’s thanks to you.”
She was saying that out of all the women in Savannah, I was the one who’d given him purpose. Me. Messed up, scatterbrained me.
Pride I’d never felt before filled my chest. “Thank you for tellin’ me. I haven’t had much to be proud of in my life, but I’ll do my best not to let you down.”
“That’s all anyone can do. Hold your ground, Poppy. Don’t let him feed that wolf or make all the decisions, and you’ll be just fine.”
I wanted to snort at that. I didn’t like being told what to do, and Nate didn’t like taking no for an answer. “This should be fun.”
She laughed. “Indeed. I’ll enjoy watchin’ you try to tame each other.”
_______________
Gertrude and I decided to take a walk on the river side of River Street before heading back to the bar. I figured she and I needed to become friends, so she’d understand she wasn’t the only woman in Nate’s life now. Some things were going to drastically change. For one, she and I had to be on the same page about not feeding Nate’s wolf. So that meant we both had to do everything we could to make him smile. To fill his life with peace and love, rather than allowing him to focus on the past.
The first order of business to make Nate happy, rather than happy-ish, was Gertrude’s wardrobe. Nate had pictures of Gertrude hung over the back of the bar. In them, she was wearing a Georgia Bulldogs tee. I was all for the Bulldogs during football season, but my alma mater needed equal representation I decided, because we girls had to stick together. That’s why I’d put a SCAD T-shirt on her.
We’d stopped by the SCAD bookstore on our way back to Nate, and I’d hauled her in with me to get the right size. I’d hemmed and hawed over the perfect T-shirt, considering Nate had been adamant about her not wearing anything bedazzled, but a girl just had to have some sparkle in her life. And that sparkle was bound to fill Nate with such joy when he saw how adorable she looked. That or he’d find joy in wringing my neck. Either way, it was worth it to see his face when she walked in covered in bling.
I smiled at the tourists as they laughed and pointed at Gertrude. She was strutting her stuff proudly down the sidewalk, wearing her new rhinestone-encrusted Bee T-shirt. The weather
wasn’t smothering yet, so I’d bought an ice cream cone at River Street Treats to enjoy on our walk.
“We need to talk about your taste in music,” I advised her. “Opera is good for concentratin’. But Skynyrd is for life. We’ll work up slowly from opera to Southern rock. But don’t worry, you’ll love it.”
I reached down and scratched her underneath her chin. For a bruising dog, she was quick. She managed to slobber on my face before I could jerk out of the way and then she engulfed my ice cream cone.
“Hey,” I scolded. “I wasn’t done with that.” She licked my face again and I turned my head to avoid her breath. “We need to talk about mouthwash,” I told her, wiping her slimy slobber from my cheek. I started to rise from my squat, but I was chucked to the side by a jogger. My backside slammed in the concrete with a thud and my purse fell open, the contents spilling over the walkway.
“Sorry about that. Let me help you,” a deep voice said. I barely looked at the man while snatching up my strewn items, throwing them into my purse while trying to keep hold of Gertrude. “Here’s the last of it.” I reached out my hand for my wallet and looked up. The man was of average height and weight, with brown hair, dressed in running shorts and tee. I couldn’t tell the color of his eyes behind his sunglasses, but the faint smile pulling at his mouth showed off a chipped front tooth.
“Thank you for your help.”
He smiled in return then waved me off, hitting the pavement to finish his run, calling out, “Great dog, by the way.”
“What a nice man, Gertrude. Yes, he was,” I said happily, then headed for the curb.
Jacobs’ Ladder was a block down, so I crossed over River Street. When I got to the door, I stopped. Nate had ejected me from behind the bar for a health code violation. Walking through the front door with Gertie didn’t seem very healthy, so I poked my head through the door and hollered at the first server I saw. I pointed down to Gertrude, and her eyes grew wide.
“Is that Gertie?” she laughed.
I nodded. “I’m bringing her to Nate. Do I go around to the side?”