When Anna saw Nikki reach for a new novel off of the nearby shelf, she felt a bit relieved of the anxiety she had been feeling. She nervously undressed, but knew that Nikki was watching her. She almost felt virginal as Nikki explored the curves of her body with her eyes.
“You're beautiful,” remarked Nikki. She had wanted to feign as though she was perusing her new book's inside cover and reading the book summary, but she instead found herself captivated by Anna.
“You are, too,” said Anna.
Nikki smirked. “How would you know? You can't see me underneath all of these soap suds.”
“I don't need to see you naked to know that you're beautiful. I already know.”
Anna stepped into the bathtub feeling the warmth of the water as she sat down at the opposite end of the tub. They sat facing one another with their legs intertwined. They took turns reading to one another, talking about the book “Storm Clouds” by their favorite author, and reliving past dates that they had shared together.
“I bought some groceries,” said Anna. “I want to make pork chops for lunch. I also bought some steaks for tonight and eggs for breakfast.”
Nikki grinned. Anna hadn't attempted to cook anything else since the time she burned the lasagna. “I'm glad to see you're able to get back on that horse.”
Anna laughed. “Speaking of horses. How about we try to see if we can pay for lessons from the man next door?”
“Horseback riding at sunset?”
“The thought did cross my mind,” responded Anna. “Here. Pass me the book, I can read the next few chapters.”
Anna took the book in hand and smiled. She loved all the times she spent with Nikki. It was the highlight of her life. She always found that some of the most beautiful moments that she and Nikki shared had absolutely nothing to do with sex at all. It was the simple fact that they were spending time together that made their dates special. She cherished every moment with Nikki, and tonight at dinner she would ask her something and hope that it didn't frighten her away.
Chapter Ten
Nikki sat watching television at supper time as Anna prepared steaks, mashed potatoes, and carrots. She had supervised what Anna was doing during lunch while she grilled pork chops, and it had only made Anna nervous. This time she figured she would stay out of her way but be close enough to the kitchen in case she needed assistance. So far so good. Anna was grilling steaks on an indoor grill pan in the same fashion that she had grilled the pork chops. They sizzled as they seared the parallel markings across each side of the steak. Anna was beaming with pride.
“I think I got this whole cooking thing down,” she boasted.
Nikki turned her attention from the television to smile at Anna. It really did make her feel special that Anna would do something so out of her realm for her. Out of all the women in all the world, and out of all the women that Anna had dated, Nikki was the only woman that Anna had gone out of her way to try to impress her by cooking homemade meals. It meant everything to Nikki.
Surprisingly, Anna was doing well. She had nervous anticipation about talking to Nikki at dinner and finally asking her what she wanted to ask her. She could tell they were compatible. They had a similar sense of humor, did things for one another, picked up after each other, shared most of the same interests and values, and of course, they shared a mutual attraction. She thought about their times together the past few weeks and how much she had fallen in love with Nikki. She casually glanced up from her cooking to watch Nikki as she sat on the sofa with her back to the kitchen. Every now and again when she thought Anna wasn't looking, she would catch glimpses of her turning around to see if she was okay. It made Anna smile. She knew deep down that Nikki loved her and cared enough to check up on her to make sure she didn't need any assistance in the kitchen.
As soon as dinner was served and the two young ladies began to dine, Anna tried to work up the courage to ask Nikki what had been weighing on her mind for the past few days.
“There's something I want to talk to you about,” said Anna abruptly.
Just as she was about to ask, Nikki took a bite of her steak, chewed it carefully, then washed it down before speaking, “There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, too.”
“Oh?” asked Anna curiously. For the time being she felt relief that she didn't have to speak. She would allow Nikki to talk instead. Perhaps they were on the same page about their relationship.
“I know I've always stopped at kissing in the past, and we've never actually been intimate. I guess I thought that tonight would be the night for us.”
Anna felt anxiety. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to talk about, but now that she knew that Nikki wanted to finally wanted to make love with her, she didn't want to bring up what she had to ask her. What if it ruins everything? She had thought to herself.
“Tonight?” asked Anna. She tried not to seem so nervous, but felt as if she wanted to tap her foot on the ground and nervously cause her jittery leg to bounce. It was one of her nervous habits and she had to consciously stop herself from doing it. She scooted to the edge of her seat in anticipation, and to keep herself from any nervous toe tapping.
“Yes, tonight. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” probed Nikki. For the first time in a long time, probably since they first started dating, Nikki seemed bashful. She smiled and blushed slightly as she did so.
Anna rubbed the back of her head with her right hand. It was another one of her nervous habits. “Not exactly.”
“Well, don't leave me in suspense.” Nikki giggled. “What is it?”
Anna shook her head. Why pass up the opportunity to make love to the woman she loved? “I guess it's nothing. It's something that can wait until morning.”
“Are you sure?”
Anna nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure. It's something that I think I already know the answer to anyway.” Anna hoped that she wasn't being too presumptuous, but they'd been dating for six months, and she was more than sure that Nikki would be delighted with what she had to proposition. The idea was already fading to the back of her mind anyway. She was filled with erotic and sensual thoughts of finally being able to take things further with Nikki.
Chapter Eleven
Later that night, Nikki ran a bath once again, relit the candles by the bed, near the tub, and on the fireplace mantel. It was to be their first time, and she had wanted everything to be so special.
Anna and Nikki again soaked in the bubble bath for a short while before Anna sat up and pulled her body up close to Nikki's. They began to kiss, softly and slowly. They had both been nervous. After feeling the tension and sexual frustration many nights, they had both began to wonder if this night would ever come. But yet here it was.
Anna caressed Nikki's face and neck and followed her fingertips with tender kisses. Nikki's breath changed as she let out a soft moan. “I love you,” she whispered into Anna's ear as she kissed her way down her neck.
Anna smiled. She was almost sure now that Nikki would say yes to the question that had been burning in her thoughts. But she still wanted to wait to ask. She would ask Nikki over breakfast.
“I love you, too,” whispered Anna. She allowed her hands to roam freely on Nikki's body caressing every curve and contour of her body. Nikki felt her nipples become erect to the gentle touch of Anna's fingertips.
Anna made love to Nikki in the warm bath until she leaned her head backward and arched her back, wrapping her arms around Anna as she reached climax. Even though it was Nikki who was on the receiving end of the pleasure, Anna felt that she had never experienced anything more sensual and fulfilling. Her eyes watered as she watched Nikki smile as she was completely engulfed with a warm tingling sensation of orgasm and afterglow. She was glad that Nikki didn't notice that her eyes had watered. She didn't want to have to explain why she was teary eyed.
Anna rose from the bathwater, stepped out of the tub, then reached down with her right hand to aid Nikki out of the soap suds. Anna led Nikki to the bedroom whe
re the flickering candles were joyously dancing about the room. The two women each took turns making love to one another until sunrise.
Chapter Twelve
As the sun began to rise and peek its way into the bedroom through the mini blinds, Nikki stirred awake noticing that Anna was no longer in bed beside her. She had reached for Anna, extending her arm to her side of the bed, then sat up wondering if Anna was in the bathroom. The light that should've been shining beneath the door was off, and she couldn't hear the water running or any signs of movement. Nikki listened more intently, then finally heard the sizzling of something frying in the kitchen, and the soft tone of Anna's voice as she was singing a country song. She could hear the last part of the chorus as Anna sang, “Boot scootin boooogie!”
Nikki smiled, then reached into her bag and pulled out a bathrobe. She placed it on, leaving it around her shoulders and untied in the front. She first made her way to the bathroom like she always did first thing in the morning, then after washing and drying her hands joined Anna in the kitchen.
“Well, good morning, beautiful.” Anna was beaming. It was as if she awoke determined to squeeze every drop out of life and live it to the fullest. There was no indication of being stressed from work or tired. She had shared the most intimate and most amazing night with the love of her life, and she couldn't wait to sit and talk to her over a warm pot of coffee and scrambled eggs.
“Good morning,” replied Nikki. She glanced at the clock on the wall realizing that they'd only had a couple of hours of sleep. “You're awfully bright and chipper this morning.” She yawned and stretched her arms in different directions.
Anna grinned as she served breakfast and poured two cups of steaming coffee. The aroma of coffee beans filled the air. “I guess you have that effect on me.” She placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of Nikki who took a seat on the long side of a rectangular table. Anna placed her plate directly across from Nikki and grabbed the two cups of coffee before sitting down and placing them on the table. “There was something that I wanted to talk to you about, remember?”
“Oh, right. I forgot. What was it?” Nikki pulled apart her buttery toast and took a bite.
Anna took a sip of her coffee, then took a deep breath. “I wasn't sure how to ask you, and after last night I thought maybe I already knew the answer.”
Nikki sat quietly. She felt confused as to what exactly Anna felt so compelled to ask.
Anna took another deep breath. “Okay, here it goes...” She paused for a moment before blurting, “I'd like you to sell your house and move in with me.”
Nikki took a sip of her hot coffee. “That was your burning question?”
“Well, yeah. Don't you think it's a great idea?” Anna smiled. “I mean, we're compatible, we're in love, we're great together. Don't you want to take the next step?”
Nikki set down her cup on the table, then looked down avoiding eye contact. “I don't know what to say.”
“You can say 'yes.'” Anna was puzzled as to why this was something that seemed to cause Nikki some concern.
Nikki stopped eating all together. It appeared as though she lost her appetite completely. She grabbed her coffee cup and went to sit on the sofa. From where she sat, she turned around to look at Anna. She was gently cradling her cup in both hands. The steam could be viewed from where Nikki was still seated. “I told you when we met that I wasn't the type of girl to want to rush into things, remember? I'm not exactly a U-haul type of lesbian.”
Anna was both saddened and disappointed. “Where are you going with this? Why'd you sit over there? I thought we were still discussing this, and I'm feeling like you're trying to run away from our conversation by going to sit over there.”
“I'm sorry, Anna. I'm in love with you. I really am. But I thought we'd continue dating and see where that leads us. The next step that you speak of should be marriage not shacking up. And we've only known one another for six months.”
Anna felt her eyes swell with tears. She followed Nikki to the sofa and sat down beside her. “Babe, I love you. I am so in love with you. I feel like I've been falling in love with you more and more since the day we first met. Moving in together isn't a bad thing. It's the next logical step.”
“I guess for me it isn't. I want a life partner. A wife. I've never lived with anyone before. I've always been the one to want to date for a year or more before there are any thoughts about marriage. Usually women don't want to get married, so they lose interest and stop talking to me, and we wind up breaking it off. I thought you were different.”
Tears began to fill Nikki's eyes. It was as if she had held Anna on a pedestal somehow always thinking that she was better than all the other women she had dated, but now she was starting to feel that she wasn't. She was the same. The same type of girl that wanted to rush her into moving in together when it wasn't at all what she was ready for.
“What are you trying to say to me?” asked Anna confused.
Nikki set down her coffee cup on the floor beside where she was seated, then took Anna's hands in hers. “I think we should take some time apart. I need some space to think about things.”
“After last night? Now you want time apart?” Anna's voice was breaking. She was beginning to choke up as she held back her emotions. She was about ready to break down sobbing. She gulped down hard, swallowing her pride. She felt as if she wanted to raise a ruckus. She wanted to scream and shout and somehow put things together when she felt as if they were falling apart. But she didn't want to scare Nikki away any further. She withdrew to her corner of the ring like a boxer defeated in the first round. “Okay,” she finally said with a sigh. “You win. We will take time apart.”
Just like that, the romance that had begun so quickly had ended as both women seemed to go off their separate ways emotionally. Anna felt her heart breaking every second of every minute, but chose not to bring up the conversation any longer.
The drive home was mostly silent. Anna felt the tears welling up inside her. She knew she wanted to cry. She wanted to beg Nikki not to do this. Her heart felt as though it was not only breaking but shattering into a billion tiny pieces; her soul was aching. But she knew it was useless. The more she begged Nikki, she thought, the more she would surely push her away. All she could was give her the space she needed to think about things and hope that Nikki would still love her, still date her, still want her, the same way she loved and wanted her. Hope was all she felt she had at that moment, and she wasn't ready to let it go.
Chapter Thirteen
When the two women finally arrived back to their respective living situations, Anna back at her enormous family home filled with lavish items, and Nikki back to her humble abode, neither felt like themselves any longer. Nikki couldn't stop thinking about the way the events had played out, and Anna, poor, sweet Anna couldn't stop wondering what had gone wrong as she sat all alone on her expensive leather furniture staring at her priceless art on the walls. She had a Monet and a Picasso both framed in an elegant golden frame. She had taken such great care to keep them out of direct sunlight and make sure the temperature in the house was always cool and crisp to accommodate for the paintings. All her efforts to preserve her fine china and crystal, everything in her home actually, including the art all felt so meaningless now. It's as if she had discovered what life truly was about. It wasn't about the material things she owned or how much money she earned. It was about the time she spent with the person she loved the most. She knew now that it was Nikki. She had never loved anybody more. And she didn't think she could ever love like that again.
Anna was heartbroken. She had felt as if she had been traveling along the road and had been sideswiped by an oncoming vehicle. It only made her think of the constant dreams she had been plagued with. Perhaps this was a premonition. Maybe it was the dream that had doomed her relationship with Nikki from the very start. That stupid dream she kept having about losing control and falling. Maybe it was a metaphor for her heart, and it was her love and emotions
that were now spiraling out of control, and it was she who had fallen so helplessly off a cliff of confusion and despair. She dropped her head in her hands and sobbed.
Throughout the entire week Anna constantly looked down at her phone searching to see if Nikki had messaged her, but there was nothing. She felt as though she was on auto-pilot and just going through the motions of life trying to get from one day to the next. She wondered what Nikki was doing, if she had met someone else, or if she had thought about her at all. Most of all she wondered why she hadn't messaged her.
When the weekend finally arrived, Anna had hope that Nikki would meet her at the park just like she always did. She showered and dressed and prepared a picnic basket fit for a King and Queen. It was bursting at the seams with fresh fruit, breads, cheeses, and an assortment of cold cuts, and condiments. She hurried out the door to get there at her usual time. Lunch time.
As Anna approached their favorite reading spot by the tree stump to park her car, her face brightened like the morning sun. From a distance, she could already see there was a blonde woman seated on the stump reading a book. She felt her heart leap in her chest. Nikki! She thought. My sweet, loving, gorgeous Nikki! She jumped out of her vehicle as soon as the put the car in park and ran toward the tree stump with her picnic basket in hand.
“Nikki!” she shouted. “I knew you'd be here! I knew you loved me!”
The blonde woman looked up from her book startled. “I'm sorry. Do I know you?”
The color drained from Anna's face and her bright smile dimmed. “Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
Anna felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Where was Nikki? Why was she avoiding her all week? She went home defeated and cried herself to sleep all afternoon and night. The pain was far too much to bear. A few times she picked up her cellphone and wanted so much to call Nikki or text her, but she knew that pressuring her might only push her further away. That's what she feared the most, pushing her away and losing her all together. She chose instead to wait it out.
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