by Taylor Love
“Hmm, that’s what Eric was talking about at the office.”
“Eric?” Cam screwed up his face in concentration. “The guy who handles my accounts?”
“Yeah. A couple of months ago, he was asking me if you were planning a big purchase. I told him to mind his business. That it wasn’t our job to share our clients’ money activities.”
“Nosy bastard.” Cam rubbed a hand distractedly over his face. “Remind me if I forget to transfer my account to you.”
“I thought we agreed not to mix personal business that way?”
“Fuck it. If I got to have a noisy bastard looking into my business, it might as well be you.”
Robert let out a small smile. “I got you.” Robert let silence descend upon the room for a while. Finally, he asked, “What happened? It couldn’t have been the ring.”
“I have no damn clue. I brought her home from dinner, gave a speech like you suppose to, and asked her to marry me. She said she couldn’t.”
“Did she say why?”
“Naw, not really. Some bullshit about us not knowing each other enough.”
Robert wanted to say he thought her assessment made sense to him. The two hadn’t known each other even a year. While he had realized that the relationship was serious way before he thought Cam understood the fact, he still didn’t understand what the rush was. Could you really know someone that fast? Enough to connect your life to them for what was supposed to be forever? Whatever his thoughts were on the matter, he was smart enough to keep them to himself.
“Well…at least she didn’t say she didn’t love you. Sounds like she just wants more time.”
“More time for what?” Cam exploded off the couch and started pacing. “We’re not kids. We’re at an age where we should know who we are. What we want. She either wants me or she doesn’t.”
“This is a big deal Cam…marriage. Maybe she just wants to slow things down a bit.”
“If I hear slow it down one more damn time! Our whole relationship has been ‘slow’, as far as I’m concerned. I knew I wanted to marry her, share our lives together, back in December. I’m tired of waiting!” His admission seemed to drain his anger, and he dropped back down to his seat.
“Damn bro, that’s deep. I could see she wasn’t like the rest right away, but I had no clue you were falling that fast.”
Cam looked at his friend, his face drawn in serious lines. “Man, some of the clichés are true. When it’s the right one, you just know.”
“If you say so. I think I’d still be running background checks after ten months with my lady.”
They shared a grin before Cam shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. When you meet her it will all click into place. You’ll see. The shit just comes out of the blue and knocks the crap out of you.”
“Who would have thought you’d be the first of us to fall? I’m happy for you though.”
Cam lost his smile fast. “For what? This love shit is sucking at the moment. I fell for a woman who doesn’t feel for me what I feel for her. I’ve given her everything she’s asked for. I did everything her way, took the relationship at her pace, yet all she could say was we couldn’t get married.”
“I believe you. I know you give your all when you want something. Have you ever considered though, that just because you go for what you want full-throttle, that other people don’t work that way? Maybe she wanted to move in together and see if you guys could work on that level first. Is that so unreasonable?”
“Hell, Robert. You know we were practically living together. How many times did you text or call me in the last few months and she was at my house, or I was at hers?”
“Practically isn’t the same as actually living together. Maybe she couldn’t see it as clearly.”
“I’m not sure she saw it at all. I don’t even think she thought about us and marriage. In fact, she told me she never had.”
“Did she end it? Did she say it was over between you two?”
“No, I did,” Cam said, his voice taking on a hard edge.
That statement made Robert sit up straight. “You? So, because she doesn’t want to get married right now, you gone throw your whole relationship away? How does that make sense? Didn’t you just say you knew she was the one for you, six months ago?”
“I’m done being the only one trying to move forward in this relationship. Until she can figure out what she wants…which should be me. So yeah, as of right now, I’m out.”
Hearing the finality in Cam’s voice, Robert nodded his head. He knew Cam well enough not to try and talk sense into him at this point. “Okay, let me say this last thing. Don’t let pride make you walk out on the woman, who made you have dreams of turning this house into a home.”
“I’m not going to her…not his time.” Cam shook his head decisively.
“Whatever you think will work. Just know you can be a stubborn bastard.”
“So are you. That’s why we get along so well.”
“This is true.” Robert stood up. “Come on, get your grungy ass up and get me a drink. I’ll help you clean up this mess. Seeing all this clutter has my OCD acting up.”
* * *
Mika was wrong. He didn’t come back, he didn’t call, he didn’t text, and he didn’t email. All attempts she’d made to contact him in the two weeks since her birthday had gone unanswered. She’d left brief messages, but what she really wanted to say, she didn’t want to leave on a voicemail. She didn’t know what else to do! She knew he wanted her to accept the proposal, to say that she would marry him. But at this point, it would be misleading.
In the weeks since the split, she’d done what apparently Camden had been doing for months. She thought about their future and the idea of marriage to him. Just the idea put a flutter in her stomach, and she admitted she felt excited at the thought. She would like to marry Cam…someday. The thought of accepting his proposal now though, made her stomach flutter with fear and anxiety. If only she could make him see she wasn’t rejecting him…or them. She just wanted to be sure they were doing the right thing, at the right time.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Andrea sat in her office looking absently at the wall. She really should be working. She wouldn’t have as much time tomorrow on Saturday to work, as she had an outing with the girls. Today was Camden’s birthday, July 22nd, not that it mattered. It didn’t take a special day to have him on her mind constantly. She had mailed him a voucher for an hour at the gun range…for two. She knew he’d received them yesterday, as she had tracking on the envelope. Nothing. This morning she had sent him a text wishing him a happy birthday and that she missed him. Now it was three in the afternoon, and still no word from him.
It was going on the third week after their breakup, and he hadn’t said one word to her. She had ducked and dodged her weekly calls to her parents. Sending them texts and emails instead, claiming that she was extremely busy. She didn’t have much confidence in holding off her mother much longer. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the light knock before her door opened.
“Andrea, can I have a moment? Andrea?”
“Oh, I didn’t hear you. Come on in, Michael.” Michael Simmons had been her boss since she had joined the company. Rarely did he come into her office for an unscheduled meeting. They were both usually too busy for idle chitchat. She watched him warily as he shut the door and took a seat. She wasn’t in the mood to hear about any problems or issues today. Frankly, she just didn’t care.
“I wanted to check in with you. Are you okay?”
Andrea frowned and started tapping her pen against her desk. “Of course I am. What made you ask that?”
“You’ve been distracted lately. Edgy.” To make his point, he indicated her tapping.
“Well, I have a lot going on with work, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Exactly. You always have a lot going on. We have high-stress jobs and I’ve rarely seen you let it get you down, especially not for long periods of time. You’ve
been different lately. I’ve noticed, and so have others.”
Andrea sat up straighter and looked him directly in the eye, while trying to keep her tone from being sharp. “Michael, are you insinuating that my work is not up to par?”
“Not at all. As usual, your work is excellent. What I’m saying is you seem off, not like yourself, and it’s noticeable. Look, are you having personal issues?”
“If I were, they would be personal now wouldn’t they?”
“Andrea, you are a valued member of this firm. I hope in the three years you’ve worked for us, we’ve shown you that. You have a lot of folks here that care about you. I’m one of them. Life happens, I get it. But I wanted you to know, whatever is going on it’s showing. It will eventually affect your work and your interaction with clients. Don’t let it get to that point. If you need time off we can make it happen. You have plenty of time to take off.”
“I don’t need time off,” she said tightly.
Now Michael stood up. “Okay. Tell you what, take the rest of the day off. It’s Friday after all.”
“I have a lot of work to get done.”
“It wasn’t a request. Go home Andrea. If you really need to work, take it with you. Don’t forget we have that strategy meeting Monday afternoon.”
Andrea fought the urge to hurl her pen at the door as he closed it. The hell with it. He was right, so she couldn’t even be that pissed at him. She needed to get her shit together one way or the other. This is why she avoided relationships. Eventually, there was emotional drama and it wormed its way into all parts of your life.
On Saturday, she and Mika spent the afternoon with the girls at the DIA. The Detroit Institute of Arts was hosting a free Chinese art exhibit and cultural program. Sadly, even though these girls lived in the city, not a single one had been to the building before. They wanted to expose the girls to as many different things as possible. Letting them know the world was a bigger place than just their hometown. Afterwards, she and Mika sat having dinner, enjoying the warm summer day.
“I had a good time with the girls today.”
“I could tell. It was nice to see a real smile on your face. It’s been a while,” Mika commented.
“Yeah, the girls help. Besides, I was told by my boss yesterday that I needed an attitude adjustment.” She spent the next few minutes telling Mika about Michael’s visit to her office as they waited to order dessert.
“Well…you are pretty miserable. You’ve even lost some weight, which I hate you for. I stress eat and blow up.”
“Gee, thanks for pointing out all those positive things. I don’t want to be miserable, but I don’t know how to fix it.”
“He still giving you the silent treatment?”
“Yes! I wished him happy birthday yesterday and sent him a gift. Nothing.”
“Girl, you need to talk to him in person. It’s the only way you’ll get him to listen.”
“I know, though I still haven’t figured out exactly what to say.”
“It’s been three weeks Andrea…you better figure something out.”
They were interrupted as a waitress arrived at their table.
“I’m sorry for the wait. Your other waitress had to leave due to an emergency. I’ll be helping you. Did you want to order dessert?”
Andrea looked up and did a double take. It was the blonde waitress from all those months ago who had flirted with Cam. That was the first time she’d felt possessive of him. Thought of him as hers…and now he was gone. Tears stung her eyes and she turned away.
Mika noticed Andrea’s reaction, even though she had zero clue to the cause. “Umm no, we’re good.” She quickly rummaged through her purse for a debit card. “Here, put the bill on this. We may just sit for a while talking though, so no rush.” The waitress took it and hurried off. No doubt she was in a hurry to cover her own tables as well as her co-worker’s. “What just happened Andrea?”
“I’m sorry. I hate feeling this way! I didn’t really pay attention earlier, but this is where we had our first date. Got me thinking about that night…I miss him so much!”
“Of course you miss him. You love him. Tell that man you’ll marry him and tell him why you didn’t say yes at first.”
“I told him why.”
“No you didn’t.” Mika cut her off. “You made up excuses. You didn’t tell him you were afraid.”
“I’m…why would I be afraid?”
Mika gave her a grim look and said, “Damon.”
“What does he have to do with this?”
“Exactly. Nothing. Cam isn’t Damon, but you’re treating him like he is. Cam isn’t going to leave you when things get serious. Cam wants to marry you, Damon didn’t. Cam loves you, Damon never did.” Mika held up her hand as Andrea went to speak. “More importantly, you never loved him either. He hurt your pride, but your heart was never his to break.”
“How can you say I wasn’t in love with him? I spent a whole year of my life with that man!”
“Oh please! Look at how you were with Cam, then compare it to Damon. Even a blind person can see that with one man you were just spending time, but you were building memories with the other. Ugh…I sound so mushy, but it’s true. You keep waiting on Cam to disappoint you like Damon did.”
“I just think Camden is moving too fast, that he doesn’t really understand what he’s rushing into. I think he’ll regret things down the road.”
“The man doesn’t seem like the foolish, impulsive type to me. I don’t think he’d be where he is in life, if that was the case. You have to figure out if he’s worth taking a risk for. You do risk analysis for a living. Do one for your relationship this time. Put your head and your heart in the equation. Then let the cards fall where they may. If you don’t patch this up…I think you’ll be the only one with regrets.”
* * *
Saturday night found Robert, a couple of his cousins and Camden hanging out at Centaur Bar and Lounge. They were trying to show Cam a good time for his birthday, which had just passed. So far, the only people having fun were Dev and Darrell. Robert was stuck watching the once typically smiling and easygoing Cam actually scowl at women who were trying to give him some play.
When he wasn’t doing that, he was looking at his phone and looking even more pissed. Robert didn’t know what to do for his friend, as he hadn’t dealt with this much angst since Brihanna was a teenager. Shit, this was exactly why he never got with women that rocked his boat anywhere but the bedroom. He only wanted a body to warm his bed when he had an itch and someone on his arm when he needed a date. He had never pictured himself as a “forever” type of guy. There were just too many unknowns in a deep relationship.
Watching Cam was putting him in a bad mood, that even alcohol couldn’t fix. When he saw Cam pull out his phone again to glare at the screen, Robert plucked it out his hand.
“Man what the hell!”
Robert ignored his protest and saw that it was a text from Andrea dated yesterday, wishing Cam a happy birthday and saying she missed him. There were no return messages. That was all he had time to see before Cam was snatching the phone back and standing up. “I need some air.”
Robert gave him a few minutes, then made sure one of his cousins knew they were stepping out and followed. He found him standing against the side of the building, looking like he wanted to knock someone out. Robert stood in front of him and asked, “Do we need to take this to the ring?”
“Man, fuck off.”
“Why didn’t you text her back?”
Cam gave a jerky shrug and stared off into the distance.
“She’s reaching out and you’re still being an asshole? Thought you said you were in love with her?”
“I don’t want her well wishes or her gifts.”
“Oh, you got a gift too? So, you slapping all kinds of olive branches aside. Sounds smart. Have you communicated with her at all since you walked out?”
“No, but you don’t get it. I don’t want platitudes. I want her to sa
y we can move forward and get married.”
“Ahh, I get it now. You don’t want her back unless she gives you exactly what you want, in exactly the way you want. This is the first time since I’ve known you that a woman hasn’t fallen in line with the plans you hatched. It’s clear she doesn’t want this to be over. I’m sure you’re not the only one with pride. You let this go on much longer, ignoring her and she might just take you at your word and actions and be done with you.”
“She needs to figure out what she wants.”
“I think it’s clear she wants you. Just a word of advice. If you still love her and want her back in your life, end this standoff. If not, it’s a fair bet you will lose her for good.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
As August rolled in, Andrea gave up on trying to get Camden to respond. She put her energy into figuring out how she felt and what she wanted in life. Her life seemed very empty without him. She had lost not just a lover but a friend as well. He was her go to person, the one she texted in the middle of the day if something irritated her. He had been the one to bring her soup and medicine when she’d gotten sick in late January. His special talent had been putting a smile on her face when she didn’t even know she needed one.
He had always innately gotten her, similar to her mother, who knew something was wrong and would no longer be put off. Last week she had gotten a text with two words in caps that simply said CALL ME. Andrea had admitted to her mother that she was in the midst of a serious argument with Cam, but that was it. While her mother could make her call, she couldn’t make her talk. Besides, she didn’t want any more well-meaning advice. She wanted, no needed to figure this out on her own.
One lonely night, as she’d cried herself to sleep, the words of wisdom that her father had given her came to mind. She did believe that Camden was her real love. Her daddy was right, whoever didn’t fight for real love when they found it were idiots. She was a lot of things, a little anal, a little reserved, but no one had ever called Andrea Cole an idiot. She knew what she wanted…she wanted Cam. Now she had to figure out how to get him back.