"Now look here, that trickle of a stream's too filthy and tiny for us to get properly washed up," Meik replied.
"Very true, this is why I'm taking you to a nearby lake. It's about a ten-minute hike from here."
"Will it be safe to leave our horses and wagons unattended, or should we go in shifts?" Ponar asked.
"I've scanned the area and there's nothing close enough to worry about," the Guardian replied. "But we need to leave now, so we can be back before it gets dark."
It didn't take any further encouragement to rally the group into action. In less than two minutes, they'd grabbed their towels and soap and were walking up a dry riverbed toward the lake.
"Well, what do you think?" Ponar asked Rai. They were the last in line, and far enough back that Meik and Laan couldn't overhear them.
"Uh, I think it's great we won't be stinking of horse dung soon?" Rai replied.
Ponar rolled his eyes. "No, I mean about this forest. Is it the one from your dreams?"
Rai nodded. "I'm certain it is. The only problem is it's a huge forest, so I have no idea how to find the mound from my dreams, or even the lake it's next to."
"Perhaps you'll get lucky and find out. The Guardian's leading us to a lake after all ..."
"I somehow doubt there's just one lake in this entire forest."
"Yeah, but how many are close to the favored camping spot just inside the forest's boundary?"
That hadn't occurred to Rai, but he had a point. How many lakes were there be within the grove and within easy distance from the road? "Well, we'll find out soon enough."
They walked on, listening to the birdsong and insect chirrups accompany their footfalls. Every step on the thick, damp forest floor sounded like a sigh to Rai, intensifying her surety that this grove was a sleeping giant behemoth.
Rai spied brightness ahead, and it grew bit by bit until they emerged into a small glen ringed by the forest on all sides. Rai stopped, almost not believing her own eyes. A small, placid lake lay to their right in the glen, it's banks dotted with occasional large ferns and boulders. Rai looked to her left and spied a low hillock at the far side of the glen. A pair of trees partially obscured the mound, yet she recognized this as the same exact place from her dreams.
"This is it, isn't it?" Ponar asked. Her reaction hadn't been lost on him. Rai couldn't manage to speak. "We should keep walking, or the Guardian's going to wonder what's wrong," he advised.
Rai nodded, and they walked again. A mixture of excitement and anxiety ran through her veins. "Do you realize what this means?"
"The place you dreamed of was ... is real?" he replied.
"It's more than that. It's also my past."
"I'm afraid you just lost me."
"It's just that, if this is real I must have been here, at least once. Yet the Guardian admitted that it's very rare for anyone to take this road except other Guardians. There are no cities in either direction for days. How can I have been a simple Septless girl in Raven's Call and get all the way out here?" Rai asked, knowing he didn't have the answer.
It was Ponar's turn to stop. "Wait a second, are you saying you think that you were a Guardian?"
This time Laan, who admiring the view, noticed them lagging behind and frowned. He gestured for them to catch up. Rai grabbed Ponar's arm and gently pulled him into a brisk walk toward the others.
"I mean it, do you think you were a Guardian?" he asked again.
"I don't remember, Ponar. I suppose it'd make sense, wouldn't it? What if I was a Guardian and I worked this Northern Road at some point before my Temple service. Perhaps when I was found barren they kicked me out, rather than allow me back into the Sept in disgrace?"
"But aren't the Guardian's different with how they manage their Sept? I mean, it's not as if they're just in one family bloodline, there are too many for that. What would it matter?"
"Since when do Guardian's do anything the easy way?" Rai replied.
"Sure. But, why waste all of that training by sending you on to another Sept?"
"Perhaps no dishonor can stand. Perhaps because they have such large numbers it allows them to disassociate with disgraced members. Hey, they could even have arranged for the administration of some amnesia medicinals to ensure that I wouldn't reveal any of their special Guardian secrets ..."
"Now you're scaring me."
"What, you think I'm wrong?" Rai asked.
"No, I think what you're saying makes a great deal of sense. It's a lot of assumptions, but that scenario covers a good deal of the questions you've been grappling with."
"But there's still no way to know for sure, unless my memory returns."
"Not necessarily," Ponar replied. "Wasn't there something special about this glen from your dreams?"
"In the dream that hillock over there had a doorlock on the side."
"And it opened some hidden room beneath the ground?" he asked. Rai shrugged. "Then let's search for the doorlock after we bathe."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. When I tried to open it in the dream, it burned my hand."
"Ouch!" Ponar replied.
"Besides, the Guardian will be keeping an eye on us. You think he's going to let us open up some secret stash right under his nose?"
"Why would he think we'd be looking? If any of this is true, it's not likely that out of all the Guardians on the planet he'd remember you from your pre-Temple service days," Ponar said.
Rai agreed that yes, out of all the Guardians on the planet that it was highly unlikely she'd ever known this one personally, assuming she was once a Guardian. Still, she'd encountered this particular escort a number of times since she'd awoken with the amnesia, and it wasn't the first time she'd wondered if that was coincidence or if he was tracking her for some reason. If her theory was correct, it explained them keeping an eye on her to make sure the amnesia remained. However, this all seemed farfetched; why waste the energy and labor?
"I'm just not sure ..." Rai began. A chill ran down her spine as she wondered what the Guardian Sept would do if she did regain memories of being one of their members.
"Hey, I have an idea!" Ponar blurted out. "Tell the Guardian you're unwilling to bathe with the men. Say you're too shy or something. While you're alone, take advantage of the situation to look around."
"I'll do it!" This way she'd decide what to share with the others--assuming she found anything. Not that she was planning to hide her findings from Ponar, but she was less than enthusiastic on letting Meik and Laan in on her past.
"I can't wait to hear what you find," Ponar said. "Bring it back with you, if it's small enough. You'll want to have something to show Meik and Laan, and the Chieftess too."
Oh yeah, find hard evidence that proved she was once a Guardian, wouldn't that just make everyone all warm and fuzzy toward her? Rai nodded, as they'd finally neared the lake's edge.
Taking Ponar's advice, she walked over to the Guardian. Ponar mouthed a soundless "good luck" and walked off. The Guardian and the others were undressing down to their underclothes, wasting no time.
"Excuse me sir, but could I bathe separately from the men?" Rai asked. She still couldn't get a reading off the Guardian. Was it a part of the Guardian's training?
The Guardian eyed her. "Just head over there a little way."
Rai frowned and shook her head. "No, by separate, I meant I'd prefer a bit more privacy."
He raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't have taken you for the prudish type."
Rai knew he was trying to bait her, and wouldn't fall for it. "You don't know me very well, do you?"
The Guardian glowered at her. Rai wondered if she'd disappointed him by not playing into his little game.
"Once the men are done I'll escort them back to camp, and you can bathe here, alone. I'll come back and retrieve you afterwards. Will that give you enough private time?"
Again with the surly attitude? This guy needs some time off! "That'd be wonderful, thanks," Rai replied, forcing a cheerful smile.
"You
sure you won't be scared, here all by yourself?"
"You said the area was safe. I trust you."
"Oh, now you trust me," the Guardian replied. Rai did her best to keep smiling, and again, not take the bait.
Rai walked away and looked out onto the lake. Meik was slowly wading in, complaining the whole time of the water's frigid temperature. He took another cautious step, slipped, and was suddenly standing in water up to his ears, and bellowed. Laan ventured out to help him, but that only added to his ire.
Ponar dove into the lake, dressed only in his underwear. Rai watched his tanned, muscular body glide through the water while he swam, and sighed in appreciation.
"Yes well, I wouldn't want your tender sensibilities affronted," the Guardian said in his usual sarcastic tone as he passed by her on his way to the water.
For a brief moment, his bare arm brushed hers, and Rai got the distinct impression of ice-cold water pouring down over her body. The sensation was so crystalline clear it raised goose bumps along her entire body. Was he thinking of how cold the lake is? It was a rare moment for her to sense anything from this man, who was normally a blank slate to her.
Could he be sending me a message? An implied awareness on his part of her ability to read others? Rai remembered that day in the market, when a stranger had warned her not to read others, lest she alert another gifted like herself to her presence. Could that have been this Guardian?
Then there was the time she'd run into the Guardian at the park in Kiya's Grace at night, and had sensed a malevolent image of a blade cutting her throat. The combination made her consider him in a different light. Was the image of cold water meant as a threat, humor, or mere happenstance? Rai doubted the wisdom of her plan to bathe after the others. Now she'd be alone with the Guardian.
While Rai waited for the men to finish, she sat and sunned herself on a nearby boulder. After the stress, their encounter with the sclern troupe it was nice to see her adoptive relatives happy, carefree and laughing, if only for the moment.
A half hour later the Guardian emerged from the water, and yelled, "We should head back now," to the men. As they emerged from the lake, Rai saw the Guardian's skin was free from scars, and this surprised her. Wouldn't a protector of the people have some scars as evidence of his defensive efforts? Her gaze met the Guardian's eye, who marked her silent examination, and she quickly looked away.
The men dried off and walked back to camp ahead of the Guardian. "Do try and finish up quickly. It'll be dark soon, and we don't want to be out for long after dark."
"I thought you said this area was safe?" Rai asked.
"Safety is never guaranteed." He turned and left, following the Durmah men.
Within moments, Rai was alone. Truly and utterly alone for the first time she remembered. Instead of fear, Rai felt liberated. Although she'd had a room all to herself at the Waystation, it was common for Hilse or Jesse to come knocking at any hour when they needed help.
She removed all of her clothing, and jumped naked into the lake headfirst. The icy water hit her like a thousand tiny needles driving and biting into her skin, but within seconds, the sensation passed, leaving her refreshed and rejuvenated. Rai cleaned up, exiting the lake a few minutes later. She pulled on the clean blue pants and matching cotton tunic she'd brought along in her knapsack. She blotted her wet hair with her towel and stowed it, her soap, and the clothes she'd worn earlier in the bag. Rai didn't want to waste precious time drying her hair. She had a mystery to solve.
Rai threw her knapsack over her shoulder and walked over to the mound. No doorlock was visible, and so she thought back to the dreams and tried to remember its location. Rai got down on her knees and felt around the side of the hillock with her hands.
"Moons, if I can't find something I swear I'll accept I've gone insane. Well, at least no one is here watching me act like an idiot ... oh my ..." There, right under her left hand Rai found it. A hard, flat piece of cool metal. A shiver ran up her spine while she searched and subsequently found the edges of what was, indeed, a doorlock. Moss covered most of the metal, but it yielded and Rai lifted it up, revealing the doorlock in its dull, grimy entirety.
At least in this, the dreams had been real. It wasn't quite as nice as regaining her memories, and yet this was solid and undeniable proof of her past. Somehow, sometime, she'd been here. This wasn't very helpful, but it was one more piece of her past's puzzle.
Rai took out her still damp towel and wiped the dirt and dead plant matter from the doorlock. Rai reached out and placed her right hand flat against the metal plate. In her nightmare, the doorlock had burned her flesh, but this metal remained cool to the touch. Seconds passed, and Rai wondered if the mechanism had broken over time. Worse, was this a secured door, and she didn't have authority to pass? Rai cringed. Did unauthorized access attempts get logged and reported? The Guardians? Temple Matriarchs?
A high-pitched affirmative beep sounded, and Rai pulled back her hand and stood up. It was too late to debate the issue now. A rumbling sounded deep within the ground, and Rai took a couple of precautionary steps backwards. Clicks, whirrs, and a hiss sounded as a door-sized arced section of the mound to the right of the doorlock lifted outwards, encouraging dirt to fly about, and then slid upwards.
"What the ... ?" Rai said as she looked into the cavern. Recessed lighting provided a soft glow, illuminating a small rock-walled room providing access to a descending staircase. She hesitated only a moment before stepping into the room. The door did not close behind her. The air inside smelled stale yet sterile, as if some cleaning agent still lingered from a recent cleaning. There were no adornments on the walls, save the lights on the ceiling and a doorlock to the right of the opening. A simple wooden railing assisted her descent down a long staircase.
Rai took in the well-hewn steps and walls, running a hand along their smooth surface. They appeared reminiscent of the style she'd seen within the caverns of the Raven's Call Temple. Did this structure date back to Az'Unda's early colonization? She remembered Headmaster John describing the laser-rock cutters used to create the early safe houses and Temples. Who would build all the way out here?
Rai remembered Ponar speculating about the bridge on the Northern Road, and how it might have been built during the initial colonization of Az'Unda. Perhaps this structure was intended as the basement to some great house or Temple, for later expansion, once the population called for more cities. Then the plague had hit, and the Az'Un inability to increase their population because of it, had all become a harsh reality. Maybe, one day, people would use this building for its intended purpose. Now it just smelled barren and deserted.
After descending about three dozen steps, Rai reached the bottom and found herself in another small room, identical to the one at the top of the stairs. Except this door was closed. Rai held up her hand and placed it on the doorlock, this one responded within seconds with the usual affirmative beep. The door slid open, and Rai took her first step into the dark room.
Before she even got a good look, someone spun her body around and moved her backwards, out of the new space and back into the outer room. She heard and felt her head crack the wall behind her.
"Oof!" The sound issued from Rai's throat as someone knocked the wind out of her. Confused and irritated, she tried to see beyond the bright spots in her vision and failed. Rai reached up--the pressure on her neck and chest demanding relief, only then realizing another held her forcibly against the wall.
Her vision cleared enough to understand her situation. Their Guardian escort had caught up with her little adventure. He didn't appear very pleased about it.
He swore vehemently. "What do you think you're playing at here?"
He was livid. It wasn't simply the reddening of his face, the subtle shaking of his shoulders, or glowering of his eyes. She sensed his emotions as palpably as the wall cutting into her back.
It took Rai a few moments to catch her breath after hitting the wall, and a few more to clear her head from the overpow
ering musk of his fury.
"I needed to come here, to see this place again." Rai knew she had to be honest, and knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted details, and she didn't have any.
She sensed his anger build. Rai wondered what shape his wrath would take when he exploded in the inevitable frenzy.
He released her, and backed away a few steps. Rai knew better than assume this meant a change in his mood.
"And what, exactly, Kilawren, did you hope to accomplish with this little visit to your past? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
Rai stared at him in shock, having heard her birth name for the first time in her albeit short memory.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Journeyman Rilte stood at the door to the main Temple complex with the other seven Technician survivors, perplexed and uneasy. Elder Natre, no--she'd insisted he call her Matriarch--despite the dark brown robes she'd worn, had just left. Although Rilte had been thrilled to have a visitor from the outside arrive, the presumptive Matriarch wasn't at all what he'd expected. According to the new Matriarch, if Bauleel's Journeywoman Camille hadn't informed her of the Zebio boy's case and Bauleel's frequent trips to the Technician's wing, they'd still be awaiting discovery.
"Well, at least someone came. I was beginning to wonder if Terem had destroyed the entire Temple complex," Apprentice Nance said, running a hand wearily through her long, dark hair.
"I'm also relieved he didn't wreak havoc in the Temple. That would have been devastating. Where did he go?" Priest Youne asked.
"Well, if he hasn't been seen in the Temple or city, then He must have headed out into the forest. All that matters is he doesn't come back here," Apprentice Nance replied.
"What would be the point?" Journeywoman Appene asked. "He's already paid us back for his imagined slights."
"Indeed," replied Priest Youne. "Elder Natre's visit ensures we'll receive visitors and supplies, probably within the hour."
"She said to call her Matriarch," Journeyman Rilte said. Everyone shifted quietly.
"Temple politics are not your concern, Journeyman Rilte," replied Priest Youne. "If the Elder's Council appointed her Matriarch, so be it."
The Dream Sifter (The Depths of Memory Book 1) Page 35