Kat knew fear—that she would really have to go. She shook her head.” I don’t know,” she said, and even to her, her voice sounded tortured. She couldn’t bear to lose Kid. It would destroy her. But if she tried to go through with this marriage—right now—she knew that would be a problem too.
Because, whoever had hired the bounty hunter wasn’t going to stop for a wedding.
Mandy’s arm tightened around her shoulder. “You have to go.”
She glanced up at Mandy in shock, at the same moment that Meg unleashed a barrage of shocked words at her.
“What?” Meg stammered.” Mandy! Are you crazy?”
Kat couldn’t say a word. The thought both stunned her—like a fist to her belly—and elated her.
Meg’s cracked blue eyes turned, and she studied Kat. “You’re tortured, aren’t you—but,” she leaned in from the other side, “you’re relieved, too, aren’t you?” she whispered.
Kat really did start to cry now. She couldn’t have been more amazed. Mandy and Meg knew this, and that only stirred up more of the emotions that were already running too deep.
When Cord stepped back into the store, he found all three women dissolved in tears. He stared at one woman, then other, in stunned silence. He clearly had never witnessed either Mandy, or Megan, in tears—and he obviously didn’t have the slightest clue what to do about it. He turned, as if to escape.
They saw him stop—heard him mutter—his back still to them.
“Awww, damn,” Cord said.
Kat couldn’t help it. She dissolved into a fit of giggles. It didn’t take but a moment for Mandy and Meg to join her. Emotions were running high.
Cord obviously didn’t know what to make of it. He’d seen Kat try to skin McCandle with her skinnin’ knife. Now, here she sat, bawling like those weak-minded females, she’d always despised so much.
He’d apparently witnessed many things from Mandy and Meg—and this hadn’t been on the list. His face turned pale, as he took in first one of his friends—then the other.
Kat let him off the hook. “I’m leaving for a while,” she nearly whispered. The words sobered her instantly. She felt the shock of disbelief run through her—that she’d actually uttered them. She couldn’t really be thinking of doing this?
Cord’s face was the only one who didn’t register surprise.
“I’ve been wondering how long it would take you,” he said, his tone gentle.
The three of them turned and stared at him. Meg’s mouth dropped open.
He shrugged. “Take it from a wanderer. Cutting those wings can be brutal,” he said, by way of explanation.
Kat felt the catch in her throat keenly, felt her heart twist. “So what did you do to get past it?”
Cord’s gaze narrowed on her, but his eyes seemed distant, like his thoughts lay far in the past. “I had to go out there—search for answers.” He sighed as if bracing for the torrent of words her friends were going to shoot at him, and he shot Mandy, then Meg, a warning look before going on. “And when I was ready—I came back home.” He came forward and sat in the chair across from Kat, taking her hand gently into his. “But don’t take too long,” he said in low tones. “You can’t get back lost time.”
Kat knew he referred to his dead family—murdered. They were the reason he turned gunman. When it was over, he’d put up his pistols for good—and hid from those who would seek out his gun-hand behind the boring facade of running a mercantile, vowing never to turn killer again.
Very few people knew this secret about him. The three women had only learned about it because of what had happened between Hawk—and McCandle—when Mandy’s father had stipulated in his will that Mandy marry Cord if her mysterious fiancé didn’t come forward. But Mandy had only made up the story about her mysterious fiancé—to keep McCandle at bay until the man she’d been dreaming about—for years—had actually shown up.
Mandy frequently had them—these dreams about her future—and about danger too. Her mystical teachers, the wise women in the nearby Cheyenne village, taught her how to understand them. Mandy also received guidance from the grandmothers—her ancient ancestors from beyond the spirit realm.
But it turned out that Hawk had been the man from her dreams, and it hadn’t taken them long to marry, once they’d found each other—here—in this lifetime, too.
Mysticism, Kat understood. Marriage—on the other hand—she did not. She squeezed Cord’s hand, her thoughts snaring on one thing. “Do you really think I’ll find the answer to what ails me—out there?”
Cord nodded. “As long as the seeker seeks her answers from a pure heart—she is bound to find her answers,” he replied.
Mandy cocked her head to one side. Glancing at her, Kat couldn’t help but grin. “He did sound like a medicine man, just then, didn’t he.” she said.
“You’re getting good at that,” Mandy said now, turning her attention on Kat, appearing a little irritated.
“What? Reading your mind?” Megan teased. “That must bug the heck out of you,” she grinned. “The very idea that someone might know what’s going on in that mind of yours.”
Kat turned her gaze on Meg. What an odd way of speaking, she had. Kat realized that she’d noticed it before. She just hadn’t had time to think about it.
Cord grinned at Mandy, for once agreeing with Meg. Then, he turned back to Kat. “Just make sure you come home when you’re ready.”
Mandy nodded her head in agreement with Cord, staring at Kat, sniffing. Kat tried to smile at her, through her trembling lips.
Finally, she muttered almost under her breath, “Now, how will I ever tell Kid?”
Chapter Six
A Wild Rose
Though Kat hadn’t been completely honest with Mandy, Meg and Cord, she hadn’t lied about the restlessness she felt. She did feel restless—especially when everyone expected her to let the men of the family handle her business. She’d always handled what she needed on her own. Now, she felt expected to turn that over.
But Kat loved Kid, so restlessness hadn’t really been the driving force behind her drastic and increasingly appalling change in plans.
The dreams drove her.
She still hadn’t figured out the answer to broach the subject of her leaving by that evening, when she went to look for Kid. Failing that, she took her time grooming her horse and putting him into his stall, but she still found herself no closer to how to tell Kid of her decision than she had been when she woke up that morning. In the end, she stalled so long, Kid wound up finding her.
When he did, he pulled her around for a deep kiss.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, unable to believe she would actually leave his side—even for a moment. She had no idea how long this would take—had no way of predicting that. But her dreams had revealed a story of a past she hadn’t known existed—and started a slow burning, deep within her soul.
Frustrated, Kat had come to realize that she would never get any peace with this—until she learned if there were facts behind her theory.
Not that the bounty hunter had left her much choice.
Though, she couldn’t put her finger on what had really taken place, she’d been too young when it happened to figure that out, one thing she knew for certain—if she told her friends the facts behind her decision—they’d never let her ride out town alone.
A gut feeling had begun to press her into finding out the truth behind her childhood—the moment she’d recognized that her dreams were actually memories. Someone had lied to her. And the more she recovered of her the memories of her childhood, the more she felt like her entire life had been based on that lie.
The little she remembered told her something had gone wrong when she’d been a very young girl, and Kat couldn’t ignore these memories. She couldn’t go back to pretending her life hadn’t changed. Her life, as she’d known it, had been forever altered, when Katl learned that nothing about her life had been the truth.
She pulled back, gazing into Kid’s
beautiful dark eyes. He frowned. She knew he’d picked up on her misery.
“Okay,” he said. “Out with it.”
To her surprise, her eyes filled with tears, yet again, instead of the well-thought-out words she’d intended. She blurted out, instead, everything about her dreams—and her returning memories.
“My whole past has been based on a lie,” she said, staring up at him. “Now, someone is after me—and I don’t even know why. All I know is that every instinct in me is telling me that all of this has something to do with all of the lies I’ve been raised with—from my childhood on….” Pain racked her heart as she looked into Kid’s eyes. “I’m going to have to leave.” She shook her head, laying a single, pale finger against his brown lips. “No,” she whispered. “I’m not asking your permission.” A tear broke free and rolled down her ashen face. “I’m going. And you mustn’t try and stop me, because if you do—people I love could die.”
Kid’s gaze narrowed on her face. “Then, I’ll go with you,” he said simply. This time, he shook his head at her when she would have argued.
“I will only follow you,” he said, “if you refuse.” He kissed her gently then. “That’s what husbands do when their wife’s in some kind of trouble.”
She sniffed—then smiled—then grinned as relief flooded through her. She nodded. “We’ll set a trap for the gunman,” she said, with a nervousness that caused her to giggle.
Because, Kat still knew she’d have to leave him behind.
She couldn’t let him follow her—not where she had to go. Kid wouldn’t survive. He’d been raised wild. He’d been raised by the people. He would hate it back East.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her completely off the ground as he hugged her, which he didn’t find too difficult, given how tiny Kat was to begin with.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him to her as if she’d never let him go. She couldn’t imagine her life without him in it—not even for a few months.
What if this went on for years? she thought. What then?
Kid pulled her into his arms, kissing away the dampness on her face until she forgot all about her plans as desire took their place, destroying any thoughts she would have formed.
His lips brushed hers again, then again. He caught her head in his hands and bared her neck to his enjoyment, running his mouth over her pulse until she thought she would faint from the pleasure.
Picking her up, he lowered her into a large pile of fresh hay, kissing her until her body arched to meet him.
“We can’t,” Kat breathed. “Someone will see us here.”
Kid grinned, then picking her up, he walked directly for the house, and he didn’t stop until he had placed her on the bed. Laughing, Kat kissed him. You’ve just given all the hands something to talk about around the campfire for the next month.
Kid grinned. “Only for a month—I’ll have to do something about that….”
Kat grinned, then kissed him, tearing at his shirt. He shoved at her britches, until he’d cleared enough material to bury himself in her. Pulling her breast free for his mouth. And he didn’t stop until he had Kat screaming his name.
Later, they lay on the bed, gazing at one another, but neither of them saying too much. Kat had her mind on finding out who had put that bounty on her head. And she knew that Kid worked his own angle on that subject.
She didn’t like the idea that Hawk might follow them, almost as soon as they left town. He seemed as upset with the man that hunted her, as she and Kid.
They got up, getting ready for dinner, and still they didn’t have much to say. Kat didn’t know how much longer she could last like this. She felt as if she were about to attend her own funeral—instead of just going down to dinner. Every second—every breath—felt like agony, ripping its way through her chest.
She had to leave—and, somehow, she had to keep three of the best trackers she ever known from following her.
By the next morning, Kat had worked herself up into a quandary.
How would she lose Hawk’s trail, or Kid’s—or Jake’s or Cord’s—for that matter? Worse—how could she do this to Kid?
As she had the night before, she took her time grooming her horse and putting him out to pasture so he could get some exercise, but she still felt no closer to answers she sought.
Kid caught up with her late into the morning, pulling her around for a kiss. As always, she wrapped her arms around his neck as though her life depended on his touch, unable to bear the idea that she would actually leave his side—even for a moment—more-or-less a few months. And she still couldn’t shake the realization that this could take her much, much longer.
Kat kissed Kid back with more passion than she ever had before.
She kissed him with all the fire within her because the thing that bothered her most—and still wouldn’t give her any peace—were the fragmented memories
Not that she had any idea what they meant. And other than the obvious fact that someone had hired a bounty hunter, she’d have thought they were nothing more than bad memories from someone’s lies about her childhood. She’d been lied to. Lots of kids were. But—her mind—her dreams—seemed determined to warn her.
And that told her, she still didn’t know some vital clues to the puzzle behind her memories—that she still hadn’t figured out some very important parts. Perhaps, they even warned her not to go after this man….
That gave her pause.
Kat pulled back, staring into Kid’s eyes. Since she knew this thing, this burning deep down in her soul, wouldn’t give her peace and just seemed to get worse with each passing day, then perhaps it did still do so because of her decision to take this to the source.
Kat leaned in on her tip-toes, and kissed Kid back with everything in her soul—because as she kissed him, she knew that she might not get to kiss him again.
Because—she might not.
She couldn’t get a read on the nightmare she’d become entangled in, and that in itself seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, that bothered her more than anything else. Kat always followed her gut. It never let her down. But she couldn’t seem to pinpoint the driving force behind her every action right now. And that pushed her to want to take some kind of action—any kind of action—as long as it was forward.
Her gut had been screaming at her—trying to tell her something. And she knew she couldn’t rest until she figured out what that thing was.
She pulled back, as always gazing deep into Kid’s beautiful, dark eyes. He frowned, and she knew he sensed something more going on with her.
Kat knew she couldn’t be an easy woman to love. And Kid had still been able to keep in tune with her emotions, almost from the first day they’d met. He clearly picked up on her pain now.
“Okay,” he said, just as he had earlier. “Out with it.”
And to her surprise, just as before, she found her eyes filling with tears once again. But instead of assuring him, which would have been the wise thing to do, she found herself speaking honestly—again—because she just didn’t know how to lie to Kid.
“I wish you wouldn’t try to leave here with me.” She shook her head. “You will not like where I have to go. This man doesn’t come from here. You belong here, not in some fancy city back East. Remember when Doc sent you to those fancy schools there?” she said, her face wet with her tears, and she knew that her tears told Kid more than she wanted him to know.
Kid’s gaze narrowed on her face. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his tone final. “I will only follow you if you refuse to walk beside me.”
She sniffed—then smiled. She nodded—yet she still knew she had to go without him. She loved him too much to let him go to a place she knew would cause him pain.
Kid pulled her into his arms, as he always did, kissing away the dampness on her face. She wasn’t prone to tears, and she knew her tears must tell him too much of the war she fought inside.
But that couldn’t help it—anymore than she co
uld help what was about to happen.
Kat had ridden halfway to town before the sun reached high in the sky. But even the sight of the sun, stretching over the ground like a blanket, stretching golden fingers across Mother Earth and sending the birds singing in greeting, still did nothing to lighten her mood.
She groaned out-loud.
Whatever bothered her seemed to have a strangle-hold on her future—and her happiness. And she needed to find a way to stop it—before it ruined her future with Kid.
She couldn’t let that happen.
Then, why did she have the feeling she wouldn’t be able to stop it?
When she reached town, she rode straight down main-street. She knew she asked for it, riding right out in the open, but she’d reached her limit with hiding.
And of course—just because she’d ridden straight out in the open—that would be the very moment the gunman would decide to show up in town.
Damn, she thought.
He’d actually come back—even after Hawk had him run out of town. Most knew better than to do that.
She spotted him, leaning against the post before she’d even reached the center of Main Street. When Kid got wind of this, he would tan her backside.
Even so, Kat smiled.
She had been feeling restless, lately. Now, she looked forward to a good fight.
Holsten didn’t move. Yep, she knew him by reputation. Kid had been right, again. She turned her pony toward the building, so she could dismount on the other side. She hated to use him for a shield. He didn’t deserve that. He’d become her best friend—but he might be the only shield she had.
She scowled. She couldn’t do it. Some would think this made her weak. But her pony had stayed in the thick of it for her—and she wouldn’t repay him by getting him shot—to protect her own hide.
She’d worn her leathers and stepped up to the boarded walk on soundless, moccassin’d feet, keeping the water trough between her and the gunman.
Silently, Kat stepped cautiously toward the side of a building. And that’s when she saw Kid in the shadows.
Dark Warrior: Kid (Dark Cloth Series Book 2) Page 5