When he was safe in the quieter space of his office, Caleb put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Caleb?”
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“It’s Kaylynn. Kaylynn McKenzie.”
Slate’s mom. Caleb’s throat was tight with guilt. “Hey.”
“Listen, I’m sorry to bother you. I know you and Slate had some sort of falling out, but I’m hoping you’ll help me anyway. You’re the only friend of Slate’s I can talk to.”
“We didn’t . . .” Caleb closed his eyes and tried again. “Anyway, what’s going on? Is Slate okay?” Kaylynn didn’t sound panicked, so he figured Slate was alive at least.
“Physically, he’s fine. Mentally, well, that’s another story. Look, I love my son. You know I love him. But sometimes the things he does make me crazy.”
“Uh-oh. What did he do now?”
“He was pulled over tonight.”
“For what?”
“Expired tags.”
Caleb’s stomach dropped to his toes. Right around the time everything between him, Slate, and Taryn went to hell, he’d dismissed an alarm on his phone to remind Slate to pay the damn thing. He knew it wasn’t his responsibility, but it was something he’d started to do the millionth time his friend sat up with a shouted curse when he remembered a bill he’d forgotten to pay. Slate’s problem wasn’t that he couldn’t pay his bills; he just needed a little help organizing. Maybe it could be looked at as enabling irresponsibility, but the way Caleb figured it, everyone had something they could be doing better. That was the point of amassing a network of good people—to fill in the spaces you missed.
Kaylynn continued, oblivious to Caleb’s guilty inner monologue. “That was a fool enough thing, but wouldn’t you know it, he had an old ticket on the books. A ticket with a bench warrant.”
“Oh, hell.” Caleb stood, already reaching for his keys. “Where are they holding him? What’s bail set at?”
“That’s not what I’m calling about. He called me to get him out.”
Caleb flinched. Kaylynn’s financial situation was something Slate worried about constantly. There was no way he would call her to bail him out unless there was no other option. Caleb guessed he’d taken away Slate’s other options. “What else can I do? What do you need?”
“He was on his way to Taryn’s place. He only gets the one phone call. Guess there’s some truth to fiction, huh? I told him I had her number. I thought I did, but I don’t. She’ll be worried when he doesn’t show up tonight. Can you give her a call or give me her number?”
“I’ll call her.”
Kaylynn sighed. She sounded relieved. “I was hoping you’d say that. I have a few things to figure out.”
“You’re sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”
“Just take care of Taryn. I’ll take care of my boy.”
When Caleb disconnected the call, he sat still for a minute, staring at the phone in his hand. He knew he was going to make the call. That went without question. Still, the idea of talking to Taryn again had him pinned in that space between pleasure and pain.
It had been three weeks since the baby shower when she’d stood in front of him, glowing but furious, with more strength than he’d ever been capable of. He’d finally admitted his weakness to her, why he couldn’t reach out and take what was right in front of him. Rather than reacting with disgust, she’d cried. She’d cried for his loss.
She was amazing and so much more intoxicating than the drinks he’d had that day. Looking at her had the same effect as alcohol on his inhibitions. He was braver when he was right in front of her, when she was touchable. He wanted to be brave, but he knew what it could cost him.
Blowing out a breath, Caleb dialed her number by heart. When she answered, he found her voice still made his lips quirk up. “Caleb?” Her tone was wary, and Caleb lamented again that he’d hurt her.
“Hey, Taryn.”
When he caught her up on the situation, her concern was immediate. “I’m coming up there,” she said.
“Whoa, what? That’s really not necessary.”
She sighed. “You don’t get to tell me what’s not necessary. Slate would be there for me. I’m going to be there for him.”
“I understand you want to be there for him, but you should take it easy. This isn’t a life-or-death situation.”
“It doesn’t matter. He needs someone, if only for moral support.”
“I’ll be there for him.”
“Like I can trust you to do that.”
Caleb bit the inside of his cheek, stung.
“Give me Kaylynn’s number. I’m going to tell her I’m coming.”
“Stay there. At least let me come get you.”
“You’re not going to do that.”
“I’m going to be there for him anyway, regardless of what you think. I’d feel more comfortable if you let me drive you.” He paused before he added, “Part of being there for Slate is being there for you, because he’d want that.”
“You’re not making any sense. You’re already in LA. It’s not like I’m around the corner.”
“I know how this works. The cops aren’t going to be able to process him until morning one way or another, so it’s not like we don’t have time. Let me come get you.” He hesitated only a moment, knowing full well he wasn’t going to come out of this unscathed. “Let me come get you, and then you can stay here. Sleep for a few hours, and I’ll sleep on the couch. Like the old days.”
She huffed. “The old days.” Her tone was wry but not as hard as it had been just a minute before.
“You hate driving. This is a free pickup service.”
“Fine. Fine. You win. You want to deal with a tired, cranky preggo, then it’s no skin off my back.”
“Good. There shouldn’t be any traffic right now. I’ll be there in a half hour with any luck.”
“Okay.” Her tone was gentle, reminding him of her whispers in his ear when they lay in bed together at night. “Drive safe, Caleb.”
It didn’t take long for Caleb to take care of business. He made his apologies to the decorator he’d kept waiting and notified his manager to give the man whatever he wanted on the house. He was out the door and on the road within the space of ten minutes.
Flying down the freeway, he couldn’t help but hear Taryn’s voice from the passenger seat beside him. He remembered her laughter and conversation during their many trips up and down this freeway.
Despite his fear that he was heading for his own ruin, his own heartbreak, heading toward her never felt as wrong as running away.
Taryn questioned her decision to let Caleb come get her the entire forty minutes it took him to arrive. She wasn’t an idiot. Though the impetus of their reunion revolved around Slate and their mutual desire to help him, she knew she was asking to reopen the wounds she was trying to let heal. Over and over again she’d told herself Caleb’s distance was for the best. She wanted to be brave for Slate’s sake and say she could stand Caleb’s being there. It was a lie. Her tears and her broken heart could attest to that.
He’d never made her any promises, and that was part of the reason she was so angry. He could have kept it civil, but he hadn’t. He’d made it weird and awkward. She loved him, she knew she loved him, but she resented him for that.
The drive to LA was silent. They hadn’t said more than twenty words since he appeared on her doorstep.
Taryn supposed it was unfair to blame him for everything. She’d been complicit, too. She hadn’t defined them or what they were doing any more than he had. There was always danger in making lovers of friends. She missed their easy camaraderie and the happiness these drives used to bring her.
Fair or not, she was pissed. “What, have you lost the ability to speak?” It was childish, but she’d meant what she said on the phone. She was uncomfortably pregnant and cranky on the best of days. Seeing him, this kind, caring, confusing, stupid, stupid, stupid man, was not the best of days by a long shot. It was mak
ing her stomach twist in knots. “I could have driven myself.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me.”
“Right, because driving in silence is so much fun.”
“I’m sorry.”
She crossed her arms over her big-as-a-planet belly and hunkered down in her seat. It was all she could do to keep her mouth shut. Nothing good was going to come out of it anyway.
It was only another few minutes before they were pulling up to his place. Taryn got out almost before the car stopped. At least, she tried to get out of the car. Her center of gravity was annoyingly uncooperative, and she found herself falling back onto her more generously padded rear. She growled in exasperation, and by the time she was ready to try her balance again, Caleb was there. He took her hand. She tensed and considered telling him to get away from her. In the end, though, she braced her hand against his arm and let him pull her to her feet.
They were close. Too close. Close enough his breath was warm on her face. His nearness made her dizzy, and when she swayed on her feet, he automatically looped his arm around her waist.
How easily it all came back to her: the thrill of his arms around her, his face so close it would take nothing to tilt her head forward for a kiss. Tempting. So tempting.
Narrowing her eyes, she gave him a little shove. “Let’s go inside.”
He blinked as though he was as confused as she felt. Taryn wrapped her arms around her shoulders and followed him up the walk. Once inside, they both paused in the living room. Caleb rubbed his palms on his pants. “We should . . . you should lie down. Sleep. We’ll figure out what to do for Slate in the morning. Well, later today, I guess.”
“Yeah. Sleep. I should sleep.” She took two steps toward his room, stopped, and whirled on him. “You know what, no. I don’t want to sleep. I want to fight.”
“Fight about what?” The words came out exactly the way he looked—tired and sad.
“That is a remarkably stupid question.”
“There’s nothing to fight about. I told you why this can’t happen,” he said, gesturing between the two of them.
“You told me a really sad story about a woman who took your daughter away from you. It sucks. What she did to you sucks. What I don’t get is what that woman has to do with me.”
Caleb raised his head, his eyes flashing with irritation. “I know how this story ends.”
“That’s a bunch of bullshit.” Her breath caught in her throat, and she had to swallow down her fear of her next question. She needed to know. She would go crazy if she didn’t know. “Tell me you don’t love me.”
Instantly, he looked down. His shoulders rose and fell sharply.
“Tell me,” Taryn said again, “so I can finally get it out of my head. Tell me I was stupid for thinking it was more than just sex. Tell me you just needed a distraction.”
He looked up with fire in his eyes. “You were way more than a distraction, Taryn. I told you the first time it meant something. It means something.”
Despite the fact they’d never been together, after Caleb started ignoring her, Taryn had gone through the inevitable tenets of any break up. She’d replayed most every day, every conversation they’d had over and over in her head. The night Ann died had featured prominently. She’d turned those simple words inside out and upside down trying to read between the lines. “What? What does it mean?”
He growled and paced away from her, rubbing the back of his neck like Slate always did when he was agitated. “What do you want me to say? You want me to tell you I love you? I do, but it’s worse than all that. When I’m with you, I want it all. I want to be there to hold your hand when you give birth. I want to be the one who gets up with you at all hours of the night.”
Taryn’s head spun as she tried to process his rambling rant. It was hard to get past the first bit, the “I love you” bit. That one seemed important. She swallowed hard. “If you love me, if you want all those things, then why all the drama?”
He paused mid step to stare at her. “Because it’s insanity. We met eight months ago because you and my best friend slept together.”
“Slate has no problem with our being together.”
“He doesn’t now. That might not always be the case.”
“It doesn’t matter if he ever does. I’m not in love with Slate. I’m in love with you.”
He took a step toward her, and Taryn’s heart soared with hope. There was a tension in the room that had nothing to do with fear or anger. It was a pull, and it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore. This man was the most frustrating human being on the planet, she was sure, but it didn’t make her want to kiss him less.
Caleb dropped his hands to his side and looked away from her. “This is history repeating itself. Take it from me, trying to fix my broken family by picking up another one doesn’t work so well.”
“My family isn’t broken.” She crossed the room to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him so he was facing her. “I don’t know what the deal was with you or that other woman, but I’m not her. I have a family.” She touched a hand to her belly. “Rory has a family. Maybe it’s not the nice, neat nuclear unit but whatever. That’s overrated. Who has a nuclear family these days?
“I have Slate. He’s never going to be my husband, but he’s my friend, and he’s my partner in this. I have Rob and Mel to fall back on. I have my parents and my overbearing big brother. And yeah, they all have their issues, but they aren’t broken. We aren’t broken.
“I don’t love you out of some nesting instinct. Like since I couldn’t make myself love Slate, you were the next available option. That’s not what this is about. Unless you want to tell me you love me because, what? You fall for any single pregnant girl who comes along?”
“No. No, that’s not why at all.”
“Damn straight, because I think I’m a pretty awesome person, and I deserve better than someone who’s only looking to fix me.”
“No, I don’t want to fix you. You’re perfect the way you are.”
“Then what?” she cried, exasperated. “What is it that’s holding you back?”
“I’m glad you don’t get it. I hope you never have to. I hope you never have to lose a child, because it’s not something I can go through twice. I know she isn’t mine, but I love her anyway. I love her because I love you and I love Slate.”
“And that should be all you need to figure out you can’t lose her. If we tried something and it didn’t work out, you’re Slate’s brother. If you can get your head out of your ass, you’d see it doesn’t matter what I have to say about it. Even if I was as cruel as this Lisa woman was to you, you still have Slate. You’re his family, so you’re Rory’s family.”
He hesitated, his brow furrowed in thought, but Taryn was done. She was frustrated and tired and cranky, and she wasn’t going to ignore the incessant pull anymore. She grabbed him by his shirt collar and yanked him down the few inches she needed to kiss him.
Caleb gasped and then groaned into her mouth, but it was only a second before he gave in. His hand splayed against the small of her back, and he pushed her flush against him as returned her kiss with fervency.
For too many long weeks, Taryn had craved this. She craved it with a hunger, like most pregnant women craved certain foods, like it was a necessity, like she couldn’t imagine living without it. This was passion, she was sure of it. Passion and not some attempt to fill a hole. The way he kissed her, with the same urgency, the same heat, made her believe the same was true of his motives whether or not he believed it himself.
Taryn was trying to decide if it was deviant to coax him out of his clothes—she was so big—when a pain hit her hard enough to make her gasp and stumble backward a few steps.
Caleb panted, his expression perplexed. “Are you okay?”
Taryn’s heart had begun to pound out of control, a different rhythm than the erratic tattoo from just a moment before. Her stomach had been twisting, cramping, all night. Progressively. Systematically.
The pain she’d just felt was distinct and hard enough to take her breath away. She put her hand to her stomach. “Oh. Oh no.”
Realization dawned in Caleb’s eyes, and he moved back to her side, his arm around her. “Contractions?”
“Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know.” She shook her head. “No. Never mind. No. It’s not. I’m fine.”
“Taryn—”
“I’m fine!” She dug her fists into the small of her back, rubbing as though she could rub the residual ache away. “This is not happening. Not while Slate is in jail and I’m thirty miles away from my birth plan.”
“Hey, hey. Look at me. Look at me, Taryn.” He took her face in his hands and tilted her head up. When she looked, his eyes were calm. It was the kind of calm she could grab on to, and she let it soothe her quickly spiraling nerves. “It’s going to be okay. Labor takes a while, remember? We can make it back to Orange, no problem. Slate will probably make it in time, too.”
Taryn winced. She’d been trying to put off thinking about long labors. Really, she’d been trying to put off thinking about labor at all. “You’re not going to make this drive three times in one night.”
“For you I will. Of course I will.”
She whimpered. She hated feeling like such a coward.
“Come here.” Caleb pulled her into a tight hug, and Taryn readily wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head against his neck. The smell of his warm skin soothed her. A little.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” he murmured. His breath was shaky, and his words tremored a bit, but his arms were steady as he held her. “I’ll be right here. I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”
Taryn twisted her fingers in the back of his shirt. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
By the time Caleb and Taryn arrived back at her place, she was calmer. They had entered some kind of silent agreement where they could be friends again without thinking about what they might be now that they’d admitted their love for one another. They had a lot to sort out, but he had promised to be here for her labor at least.
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