by Unknown
“How could you marry her?” Alan exclaims, his timbre carrying to the four corners of the yard without effort. “How the fuck do you live with yourself?”
Numb with disbelief, I frantically try to make sense of what I’m seeing in Alan’s eyes and hearing in his words, but before I can do either he turns to leave.
Then everything happens all at once, so quickly my mind can’t keep up: Neil grabbing Alan by the shoulder; whirling him around; the sound of his fist landing in Alan’s jaw; the explosion of flashes as the press runs toward us, cameras snapping pictures with each step; the shouted questions from every direction.
“You fucking stay away from her,” Neil growls, standing above Alan. “You don’t talk to her. You don’t try to see her. You stay the fuck away from my wife and from me.”
Stunned, I can’t find my words.
For some reason my gaze desperately moves to Alan and not Neil. Our eyes lock. Alan says nothing. He stares at me and my heart jumps into my throat. Why are those great black eyes so full of pity and anguish as they look at me?
Before I can make reason of it, Neil is dragging me to the house, shouting no comment with every step. Inside he pulls me with him to a bedroom, slams the door and locks it. I stare at him, afraid and unsure how to manage this.
His fingers drop away from my wrist and he moves to the bathroom. Oh crap, he’s bleeding. What have I done?
“We should go to the hospital, Neil. You might have broken something.”
His jaw clenches and unclenches as he holds his hand under running water. After a few minutes he shuts the tap off and wraps his hand in a towel.
In the bathroom doorway, he stops, staring at me with eyes wild with pain and something else I’ve never before seen. The knot in my throat becomes strangling.
“I don’t ever want to talk about this,” he says with a quiet voice that makes me jump. “I don’t want to know what you did in there with him. Not ever.”
I nod, even though I’m not sure where he’s going with this.
Those green eyes lock on mine. “Do you want our marriage, Chrissie? Or do you want him?”
Neil waits for my answer, and the expression on his face turns my mind blank. I speak without even attempting thought. “I want you, Neil. I want you.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I sit on a chaise lounge in the hot July sun, watching Neil and Jack side by side deep in conversation as my dad flips burgers on the grill.
As awful as that scene was with Alan at the party three months ago, after the press furor died down—I push from my mind the avalanche of terrible tabloid press each and every one of us got after the punching incident—everything in our life has somehow jelled in a wonderful way. Whatever small doubts I still had the day I married Neil, they are gone today.
As impossible as it seems, the events have only brought Neil and Jack closer to each other. It’s almost as if my dad’s respect for Neil has deepened, their bond strengthened in mutual disregard for how they think Alan Manzone unfairly treated me. It would serve none of us if I explained that I was the one who behaved badly and had been unkind to Alan.
Some secrets are meant to be kept forever.
Another snippet of that day claims my thoughts. The look in my dad’s eyes, standing stunned and silent, staring at Alan sprawled out on the grass and Neil snarling in his face. I could see when the pieces connected in Jack’s head, the look of anger mingled with shock, when he figured out the abortion I had last year was mine and Alan’s. I was so ashamed, I never wanted Jack to know this, and it was definitely a betrayal to Alan, but it all smoothed out on its own.
Alan left the scene like a gentleman. I never expected that one. He apologized to Jack, didn’t press charges against Neil, and quietly went away. I haven’t heard a peep from him since that day, and something in how he looked at me that last time has stuck with me. I can’t define it, it was a strange kind of thing, and yet it made me sharply aware that Alan and I didn’t end that day. We are still connected by life in a way I can’t label yet. Connected and always will be. I don’t know how, but I am certain of it.
Strange, even knowing that isn’t an internally messy thing for me.
As for my dad, in what should have been the ultimate Chrissie low moment, somehow it wasn’t. Jack remained calm through it all and I often wonder if, in the silent chambers of Jack’s mind, he really enjoyed someone slamming a fist in the face of that fucker for a change.
I don’t know. It’s strange. But Neil and I have been in a really good place since the Alan incident. Jack and Neil have been really good. Life is simple if you let it be. You can be happy if you let yourself be.
My gaze floats around the patio, taking in the rowdy Stantons lounging everywhere. It’s nice that Jack included them for Neil’s send-off on the road, and to keep the party casual so they’d feel comfortable in the Hope Ranch house.
I laugh and lower my gaze to fix on my glass of ice tea. A family of law enforcement on the same lawn as Jack. Jeez, I would have never believed this one would work well, but even the Stantons have effortlessly folded into our tiny Parker clan. One giant family surrounding me in Santa Barbara when the house was always too quiet here.
Life is good. Very good. I’m happy.
I hear my name and, startled, I look up. “What, Neil?”
Neil gives me an affectionately chiding look. “The second we got married you stopped listening to me.”
I roll my eyes.
“Welcome to marriage, son,” I hear Michelle Stanton heckle from across the pool and her husband, Robert, explodes in laughter beside me.
Neil gives a pointed stare to his dad, and then looks at my dad. “Why don’t you help me out here? Why don’t you talk to your daughter? Tell her that it’s better for our marriage if she goes out on the road with me.”
Jack shakes his head. “Nope. Not doing it. I’m staying out of this one.”
“I’m not traveling with you anymore, Neil,” I announce firmly. “Not ever. Never. Done.”
He stares at me, exasperated. “We had an agreement when we got married. They were your rules, Chrissie. Not mine. And now you’re breaking them.”
“Yep, that’s marriage,” Robert Stanton says under his breath. All the Stantons laugh again and I laugh with them.
Jeez, how could I have forgotten how delightfully obnoxious the Stantons are? I love having them here. I love that they give Neil such shit. What an incredible family to be a part of.
I sink my teeth into my lower lip. Neil is so adorable when he’s frustrated and everyone is ganging up on him. He may be a bright rising star in the recording industry, but here, he’s just Neil.
I can feel my eyes are sparkly when I look back to him. “We need to buy a house. We need a home, Neil. We can’t live out of a suitcase forever.”
He shakes his head, raking his messy waves back from his face with a hand. “We don’t need a house. We’re going to be on the road the next fifteen months. When we’re not on tour we can stay here with Jack.”
Jack looks up from the grill. “Like hell you can.”
There is more laughter all around us.
“I’m not going, Neil, I can’t,” I repeat with more emphasis, more meaning.
Neil grows perfectly still. His eyes become enormous as he stares at me. “Can’t? What do you mean you can’t?”
I feel my cheeks color and my heart warm as I meet his gaze. “I mean I’m not breaking our agreement. I’m keeping our agreement. I can’t go on tour with you. And we really do need a house, Neil.”
He rushes across the patio, dropping to his knees in front of my chaise. Those lush green eyes are wide, hopeful, and excited.
“Are you sure?” he asks anxiously.
I nod. “Pretty damn sure.”
In a second I’m in his arms and he’s kissing me sloppily, and we’re both laughing and crying simultaneously.
“Fuck, I shouldn’t be squeezing you like that. I just can’t believe it happened so soon.”
He sits back on his heels and stares at me. I touch the moisture from his cheek.
“Well, you better believe it, because we can’t change it now.”
Neil’s arms encircle my waist again and he places a light kiss on my stomach there. I can tell by how everyone is smiling and staring that they’ve pretty much figured this one out.
My gaze shifts to my dad. My heart jumps in my chest. I’ve never seen Jack look so happy. He looks almost as happy as Neil.
“Don’t worry, Daddy,” I say. “I’m not moving in with you. I’m having a baby.”
Jack lets out a ragged breath. He’s crying and for once I’ve made my dad cry in a good way.
“You can stay as long as you want, baby girl,” Jack says lovingly. “That’s my grandchild you’re having.”
~~~
I stare at myself in the full-length mirror and make a face. Whoever said black was slimming is a liar. But then there is no way to hide this. I run my hands over my month seven baby bump. It’s been forever since Neil’s been home and I don’t know what he’s going to think about this.
I turn sideways. Crap, it would be nice if I wasn’t quite this big, and I could still manage to pull off a little bit of sexiness. Shit, we haven’t had sex for five months. I attempt a provocative stance and expression. I crinkle my nose. Nope, I’m all waddle and belly these days.
I make my way from my bedroom down the hallway, checking the rooms as I pass. Perfect, even though not completely done even after two months here. I need to paint Kaley’s nursery, but at least the recording studio downstairs is finished, thanks to Jack. Neil is going to love that. The kitchen is almost together, and the living room is done.
I stare out the wall of glass and smile. A pretty nice homecoming for Neil, even if I’m going to be a less-than-spectacular sight. He’s going to love it here.
I make my way carefully up the short rise of stairs to the foyer, noting that I really need to put a banister here. Who builds a house and doesn’t put a banister and a rail on an upper landing? It may look dramatic, but it’s a nightmare. Someone is always accidently dropping off into the living room.
I laugh. It is definitely a weird house. Neil will probably think it’s strange, but it is so us. It is exactly the kind of house I want to raise Kaley in.
I grab my purse from the console table, go into the garage, hit open the door, and then climb into my black Range Rover. Thank God it has four-wheel drive. The driveway definitely needs improvement.
At the end of the drive, I stop and check traffic. I pause for a moment to look left. Devil’s Playground is only a short hop up there. Smiling, I go right toward the highway. I slowly maneuver down the narrow one-lane tree-lined road, the forest so thick here that the sun is completely blocked, and keep a careful eye on the moss-covered boulders.
I merge onto the two-lane highway to the city. How funny it is that I used to be afraid of the mountain pass, so afraid I used to make Neil drive it for me, and now I drive it every day.
Twenty minutes later I pull into the Santa Barbara airport and park at the loading curb. I start to unbuckle my seatbelt, and then wonder if it would be better to wait here. I don’t look as fat when I’m sitting. Grabbing my purse, I pull the key from the ignition and climb out of the car anyway.
I walk through the nearly empty Spanish-style building that acts as the terminal. I exit onto the patio and sink onto a bench close to the entrance from the runways.
I check my watch and my legs starts to jiggle anxiously. Any time now, Neil. I’m more than ready to see you. My gaze floats around the patio. There are a couple of other women here. I wonder if they’re waiting for their husbands, too. It’s a nice feeling, waiting on Neil. I smile.
People start entering from the runway, and I struggle to stand up. I anxiously search the small line of arriving passengers. My heart jumps against my chest. Green eyes, smiling, and looking for me.
Neil drops his bag, scooping me up in his arms, and gives me a passionate embrace. “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers between kisses.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
He steps back as if seeing for the first time the dramatic change in me. The color in his eyes darkens.
“How’s my baby today?”
I sink my teeth into my lower lip to hold back my emotions. Then he leans forward, kissing my belly, and I give him a gentle push away from me.
He looks at me, a teasing glint in eyes. “What?”
“I thought you were asking how I was. I can see how it is. You’re completely obsessed with Kaley and have totally forgotten me.”
He slips his arm around my waist and whispers in my ear, “Nope, I just can’t greet you the way I want to here.”
I flush, and we start walking out of the airport. I can tell when someone in the terminal recognizes Neil by how they stare, and I ease close into him in that this guy is mine kind of way.
He tosses his bag in the back of the car as I climb into the driver’s seat. “You want to drive?” he asks, surprised.
I nod. “Yep. I am taking you to our house for the first time. I’m driving.”
He climbs into the passenger seat, buckles his safety belt, then I pull from the curb. We drive for a while in silence with him just staring at me.
“You look so beautiful, Chrissie. I’m so glad to be home.”
“Beautiful, huh? I’m enormous, or haven’t you noticed that?”
“You’re beautiful, Chrissie. Stop it. I wish I’d been here with you. Seeing the change all at once brings it home how much I’ve missed with you already.”
I focus on the road, fighting back my tears. “Well, you’re home now. You can make up for it.”
He leans in and kisses me lightly on the shoulder. “I plan to. I don’t care what you have on your calendar. We’re not leaving the bedroom for a week.”
I laugh and turn onto the mountain pass.
Neil frowns. “Where are we going?”
“Home, Neil.”
He stares at me, surprised. “You bought a house on the mountain? You picked a house on the mountain?”
I nod. “Don’t say it that way. I wanted the perfect home for us and I found it. Up here.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m slowly making my way down our driveway. Neil’s expression is priceless. He’s savoring being in the forest, but looking at me like I’m crazy.
I stop before the Spanish-style structure hugging the side of the mountain. There is not another house in sight, the acres around us are lush natural forestland, nothing but indigenous plant life here, but everywhere there’s blue sky and a magnificent view of the Pacific Ocean. It’s so quiet. The only sound is us and the comfortable quiet of the forest.
Neil stares. “You bought this?”
I keep my expression carefully neutral. I can’t tell if he’s happy, disappointed, or confused. I climb from the car and unlock the front door.
I kiss him. “Welcome home.”
I step into the entry foyer. I point.
“I don’t have a railing or banister yet,” I say, dumping my things on the table. “That first step is a big drop if you go the wrong way. I need to fix it soon. Jack fell down it yesterday.”
Neil laughs, then freezes and stares. He sinks on the red painted concrete floor of the landing, his legs dangling over the side. He’s just staring.
His eyes widen. “Jesus Christ, Chrissie. I can’t afford a house like this.”
“Too late. We already bought it. You told me you didn’t have to see it. That it was my choice. I bought this.”
“Chrissie,” he says in an exasperated growl. “Rich-girl you are. Rich-boy I am not. I can’t afford this house.”
“Oh, stop. We’re married. Whatever we have belongs to the both of us, and that includes this house. I love this house. We’re not moving from here.”
I grab his hands and pull him onto his feet and kiss him on the cheek. I point at the door on the far side of the living room.
“That
goes downstairs,” I explain. “There are guest bedrooms. And Jack helped me convert some of the space into a recording studio. You have everything you need to work from here.”
His brows lift. “You did that for me?”
“I did that for us. Our entire life, everything we love, all is here. We don’t ever have to leave the mountain unless we want to.”
I pull him with me to the wall of glass and his eyes widen even more as he looks out.
“This house is us, Neil,” I say. “It’s you. It’s me. It’s where I want to raise Kaley.”
“Chrissie, what did it cost?”
I ignore the question.
I point to the left. “Over there is a trail to Devil’s Playground. And look, there is Judgement Rock, the edge of the earth, and we can see it from our living room. We can hike there every day once I’m able to go uphill again. And there, you can see the beach. And I can see Hope Ranch and the islands and downtown. From every room we can see the Pacific. Everything we love is right there out our back window for both of us to see every day. It’s us, Neil. Perfect. I walked into this house and I never wanted to leave.”
He turns me, taking me in his arms and his lips start moving on my flesh. “It definitely has everything. Does it have a bedroom?”
I laugh. Between kisses and touches I start pulling him through the kitchen toward the master suite.
“Neil, we have everything. It couldn’t be more perfect if we had it custom-made.”
~~The End~~
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Continue the Half Shell Series with the final book, The Girl in the Comfortable Quiet (June 2015), and read more of the Parker Saga with the first book of the Sand and Fog Series, Broken Crown (June 2015).
Enjoy one of my current contemporary romance releases:
The Girl on the Half Shell