Delivering His Heir

by Jesse Jordan

  “But… but I love him,” I repeat, feeling like the rest of the world can burn for all I care. “Why can’t he see that?”

  “He does, I know he does,” Freida says. “If I could see it, you know Rick can.”

  “But he doesn’t love me,” I half sob. “Aren’t you supposed to say it when the other person says it to you?”

  Freida sighs, side hugging me again. “I don’t think Rick ever will say it. In his mind Su Lin, he’s saving you from pain and having to carry around a ghost in the long run. When he met you I could see it in the way he talked about you, he thinks you’re an amazing woman. And he wants you, after he’s gone, to be able to find someone who will love you as much as you deserve. So he won’t say it… even if he does love you.”

  “You think he does?” I ask, and Freida nods.

  “I think he loves you more than life itself. I think if he’s going to have a miracle and be able to see your child born, it’s because of that love, and something else.”

  “What?” I ask. Freida turns on the bed to me, taking my hands as she looks me in the eyes gravely. “But-”

  “But nothing. The only way he’ll be able to get that far is if he has your strength by his side. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  I nod, wiping at my eyes. “He’ll never see me cry.”

  “And you have the notary’s form?” the clerk asks in a bored voice. She probably handles a hundred cases a day, and on the surface what I’m doing doesn’t look all that different than any of the other things she does.

  The Mankato city office isn’t very remarkable, considering what I’ve seen over the months that I’ve been in Minnesota. If there is anything to make it noteworthy, it’s the bone chilling cold that seems to seep even through the triple paned windows and thick insulation, a product of the foot deep snow outside. The sky is leaden, I’m sure there’s going to be another snowfall this afternoon, which is why I asked Freida to bring me into town to take care of this.

  “Yes,” I reply, handing over the form. Among other things, Freida’s a certified notary public. Sometimes I wonder if the woman isn’t a secret agent at times as well. “Here you are.”

  The clerk looks it over, nodding. “The fee is twenty five dollars.”

  I hand over the cash, and she stamps a receipt, handing it back to me. “There you are. Have a nice day.”

  I can hear her call for the next customer as I walk away, looking at the simple receipt. It doesn’t say much, but I know it’s powerful. It’s proof that, when Rick is too sick to make decisions or is otherwise incapacitated, I have full power of attorney. It was Rick’s idea, as he reviewed his life in his preparations to die. The corporate bylaws that establish that Harvey can’t take over once our child is born also have a loophole that could allow Harvey to act in any gap where Rick can’t, but the baby isn’t born yet. Just in case, Rick wanted to make sure I’m triple covered, as he put it.

  I pull the hood up on my sweatshirt as I walk out into the frigid Minnesota air, gasping as I always do and making me suck in more of the lung-searing Arctic atmosphere. Freida’s waiting for me behind the wheel of the big Toyota truck that Rick has for this sort of weather, tires swaddled in chains and four wheel drive making sure it’ll take a lot more than some snow to stop this beast.

  “You know, you’ve really gotta learn how to hold your breath and breathe shallowly through your mouth until you’re used to it,” Freida says in an attempt at humor when I close the door, coughing and rubbing at my throat. “Didn’t it ever get cold in Beijing?”

  “Sure,” I hack out, peeling off my scarf and feeling the heater on my face, “but that was at night, and it’d get a little below freezing or so. Not this. How do people live in this sort of weather?”

  “With a good fireplace and warm food,” Freida says. Since my crying in her arms, she’s been a constant source of strength for me, her ever present good humor allowing me to go this past month without breaking down. She’s taken me to doctor’s appointments, helped Rick as his body’s weakened, and more. I don’t know what I’d do without her. “Come on, let’s get you home, you’ve got a prenatal checkup tomorrow.”

  “Wait,” I say as I look at the paper in my hand, “Freida… this power of attorney, it starts working once Rick is unable to make his wishes known, yes?”

  “Yes,” Freida says, shifting the truck back into park. “Why?”

  “I want to talk to Dr. Gordon,” I tell her. “Tomorrow, when we go to the hospital, make sure he’s available too.”

  Freida narrows her eyes, giving me a questioning look. “Are you thinking what I think you are? You know I won’t let you hurt the baby.”

  “No, nothing will happen to my child,” I reply, taking her hand. “But… well, I’ve been doing a little bit of reading on the Internet, and I had an idea that I want to talk over with Dr. Gordon. I just hope there’s enough time.”

  Freida nods, and we pull out of the parking lot. As we drive slowly through the streets, not rushing and getting into an accident, Freida turns the heat down. She doesn’t need it as much as I do, she’s used to this madness. As we turn away from downtown and start the drive back towards the estate, she speaks up again. “By the way, I know Rick won’t say anything… but happy Valentine’s Day.”

  I smile, looking over. “I know he won’t, but I’m sort of at peace with that. You’re right, Rick can’t say it, he’s too stubborn. And I won’t annoy him about it. But if he can’t say it, then I’ll just love him a lifetime’s worth in the next few months.”

  Freida nods, swallowing back a lump in her throat and keeps driving. Just as we get close to the estate, she speaks up again. “Don’t ever change, Su Lin.”

  I smile, rubbing my stomach. It’s starting to bulge now, which makes me happy. “I plan on doing a lot of changing. But I’ll need the help of a very strong woman next to me to make those changes. Know anyone interested in the job?”

  “I might.”

  Rick

  “One fifty seven,” Su Lin says as she helps me off the scale. “You’re officially a lightweight now.”

  I run my hands over my wasted stomach, feeling the outline of my ribs against my paper thin skin. It’s not that I haven’t tried to eat, it’s that my body just doesn’t want it any longer. When I tried to supplement by drinking weight gainer shakes, I ended up puking and passing out in the toilet.

  “Yeah, a little more and I could walk for New York Fashion Week,” I joke, pulling on the thick robe I wear most of the time anymore. “We’ll book tickets.”

  “I’d rather you make it to my appointment later today,” Su Lin says, putting her arm around my waist as she helps me out of the gym. I haven’t touched a thing in here in weeks, there’s no real point. Su Lin comes in every day still though, and the maintenance staff makes sure every surface is dusted and everything’s in perfect order.

  “I’ll make it,” I promise. “They said they might be able to find out the gender today, right?”

  “Right,” Su Lin says with a brave smile. “Come on, I’ll help you upstairs to get dressed. It’s still cold as hell out there, and let’s face it stud, you’re not fat enough to keep the cold out anymore.”

  I smile softly as she helps me down into the wheelchair that I have to use most of the time now, walking more than fifty or sixty steps is agony as well as exhausting. If there’s any part of my rapid deterioration that hurts the most, it’s that I can’t sleep with Su Lin anymore. I need oxygen when I’m asleep, so we’ve converted my downstairs library into a bedroom, complete with hospital bed for me.

  None of it effects my brain though, which is almost as frustrating. But Su Lin and I have spent the extra time doing so much together, talking and watching television. She’s been the best work assistant I could ask for, fetching information, running errands, even typing on a keyboard when I have to do something that I can’t arrange with the tablet and stylus I use now. Su Lin understands, I can’t just spend all my time vegging out watching Game
of Thrones.

  “So what color are you thinking today?” Su Lin asks as we get to my closet. “I’d say blue, just because I know you want a boy. And I’ll wear pink.”

  “I thought you wanted a boy too?” I ask, and Su Lin nods. “Then why pink?”

  “Because we should coordinate, not match,” she says with a laugh. “Let’s get your t-shirt first, then the thermal under.”

  I do as much as I can to get dressed, even as my hands tremble slightly. It’s not the nerves, it’s that my muscles just can’t seem to maintain strength even long enough to pull on a shirt. Su Lin says nothing though as she helps me sit on the edge of the bed and change into thickly lined jeans and boots. “Okay,” she says after I’ve got my sweatshirt on, “let me run upstairs and I’ll get changed. Freida will pull the truck around.”

  Freida’s actually faster than that, coming by and pushing me to the garage as Su Lin gets changed. I look over, seeing my Agera RS sitting unused in its parking spot. “Hey Freida, you want a slightly used car?”

  Freida looks over, shaking her head. “No way am I handling that death machine.”

  “You’re a licensed helicopter pilot, and you call my car a death machine?” I ask with a smirk. “You’ve got a strange sense of humor, you know that?”

  “Nah,” Freida replies. “I just know that Su Lin will want to keep it, too. Maybe she’ll get into hurtling herself down the road at ridiculous speeds for fun.”

  “I hope not,” I muse. “Speaking of which-”

  “Su Lin filed the papers, until she gets remarried I’m to take over as the baby’s guardian if she dies.”

  I shudder, and Freida pats my shoulder. “She won’t, Rick. She’s too strong.”

  Su Lin joins us, and we get loaded up in the truck. I insist on standing up to get inside, even if it does leave me feeling like I used to after a set of heavy squats. My muscles quivering like jelly as Freida closes the back seat door, I lean back, catching my breath until Su Lin comes around and sits down. “Don’t worry, pretty soon I’ll have more problems getting in the truck than you,” she jokes, rubbing her belly. I reach over, resting my hand on her stomach and calming myself. “I know you probably can’t tell, but I can sometimes feel the baby squirm a little.”

  “Maybe I’ll be able to feel a kick or two,” I comfort myself as Freida gets in and starts driving. It snowed like hell last night, March in Mankato is not spring yet, but the roads aren’t too bad so we don’t have to creep along. I’m torn between looking out the window at sights I might not get too many more chances to see again and Su Lin. Every day I’ve grown weaker, I’ve found myself caring more and more for her. Now, so close to what I know is going to be my death, I only wish I could tell her how I feel.

  We get to the hospital, going up to see the head of the Obstetrics department, who’s agreed to take care of Su Lin personally. Going into the exam room, the doctor looks over at me. “How’re you doing today, Rick?”

  “Planning on trying out for the Vikings come this summer,” I joke, not smiling because I know with my gauntness my smiles are looking more and more ghastly. “What’s Gordon telling you?”

  “Nothing beyond he hopes I take good care of Mrs. Kelley here,” the doctor says. She helps Su Lin onto the exam table, turning her attention to her patient. “And how are you doing, Su Lin? Still having problems with toe pain?”

  “No, I just have to remember not to do spinning jump kicks in wushu for a while,” Su Lin says. She pulls up her t-shirt, laying back as the OB spreads gel over her stomach. “This part I don’t like.”

  “We’ll jump in the hot tub when we get home,” I joke, earning a smile from Su Lin.

  “Actually, you’ll need to watch that,” the doctor says as she runs a functions check on the ultrasound machine. “Just make sure the water temperature isn’t above ninety five. I know that sounds warm, but for a hot tub that’s pretty cool. If it gets too warm for the baby, it’s not good.”

  “Or too cold,” Freida says. “Don’t worry doctor, I have that mansion perfectly climate controlled. These two spend most of their days at seventy four degrees and forty percent humidity. Two degrees variation, and I’m calling the HVAC guys.”

  We all get a chuckle as the doctor fires up the ultrasound. The scan takes a few seconds to find the baby, apparently my child is a squirmer. “Well now… here we are. Say hello, Mr. Kelley… wait a moment.”

  “What?” I ask, fear sending enough adrenaline through my chest that I surge out of my wheelchair. “What is it?”

  The doc studies the monitor for a moment, adjusting her wand before smiling. “I do believe… Mr. Kelley, Su Lin… say hello to your daughter… and your son.”

  I gawk at the image on the screen as the computer enhances the image, and I see them. They’re hugging each other, so tightly embraced that tears come to my eyes. “How did we miss it?”

  “Their heartbeats are identical,” the doctor says with a smile. “That’s very rare in fraternal twins, but in this case, it was so close that our sensors couldn’t tell. I’ve seen times when an ultrasound even won’t be able to tell until nearly the seven month point.”

  Freida’s phone rings and she steps out after giving me a pat on the shoulder and Su Lin a kiss on the cheek. The door closes and I look at my wife, who’s crying tears of happiness as she looks at me. “Twins.”

  “You’re going to be busy,” I say, smiling. “You sure you can handle twins?”

  “Our daughter? Yes. Our son on the other hand… if he’s anything like his father, I’m going to have to hire two nannies, preferably one of them having a black belt in jiu-jitsu.”

  I laugh, taking her hand. “I hope so. Listen, I had an idea, I’d like to record-”

  The door opens, and Freida comes in, looking pissed off. “Rick… it’s Harvey.”

  “What’s he want?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.

  “He’s called another board meeting on the Pentagon contracts. For tomorrow morning.”

  Su Lin

  “Rick… what you’re doing is foolish,” I say for what feels like the hundredth time since Freida came into the exam room with her news. “Even Dr. Gordon says so.”

  “I can’t miss this meeting,” Rick says, adjusting the knot on his tie. His hand is strong and steady, and if it wasn’t for the rolled up left sleeve on his arm connected to the IV bag hanging from the hook next to him, a quiet hum running from a pump that’s forcing his body to get pumped up, you wouldn’t know he’s dying. I don’t even want to know the contents of the bag, his second since we took off. “Your power of attorney doesn’t kick in until I’m comatose or dead. And without me there, Harvey can bully the rest of the board into supporting him. Once that’s done, it’d be too much damn work to turn the whole machine back around.”

  “I understand,” I plead as a beep comes from the machine and Rick looks down. He removes his own IV needle, ignoring the trickle of blood until he can wipe himself up and put a bandage on it. “But why the drugs?”

  “Because the board needs to see that I’m strong one last time to pass the torch to you,” Rick says, his eyes softening for a moment. “Su Lin, they need to see that you’re not just my wife, but that you have my strength. A shattered, dying man being rolled in a wheelchair into that board room would doom you to years of corporate bullshit infighting. I can’t saddle you with that.”

  “We’re approaching Newark Airport,” Freida calls back over the intercom. “I’ve already got word the rental helicopter is warmed up and ready to go. It’ll land us right on the roof of the building.”

  “Thank you Freida,” Rick says, pushing the call button on his arm rest. He switches off and looks at me, his eyes still soft. “I have to do this, Su Lin. Please, give me a few minutes to get my mind ready. The drugs are only half the story.”

  I nod sadly and go to the back of the Panther, changing for my own role in the boardroom. The suit, with its masculine shirt, pants, and tie seems on one hand to slightly defeminize me
, but the jacket pinches my rapidly expanding stomach, the wide cut making my breasts look bigger and somehow making me even more feminine. I strap on my five inch high heels to bring me taller than some of the men we’ll be meeting. My hair and makeup also walk that line between powerfully masculine and seductively feminine, and looking at myself in the mirror, I understand what Rick wants me to do. I just wish we didn’t have to do it.

  Freida comes on again, we’re on final approach and I go back up front, sitting down and buckling myself in just as Rick comes out of the bathroom. His face is set, his eyes blazing with the power and fury that I’ve only seen glimpses over in our marriage, usually when he was challenging himself in the gym or dealing with Harvey. Only once have I seen that type of fire directed at me, the night Drew Washington tried to seduce me. It’s breathtaking, and at the same time sad as Rick sits down, buckling in. No amount of drugs or mental fortitude can hide the fact that he’s lost close to fifty pounds in the past three months, the sharpness of his jawline and the hollowness of his eyes baring testament that he’s fading.

  We land, Rick walking on his own down the stairway and to the waiting car that’s going to take us to the heliport. Only someone who doesn’t know Rick would notice that he used the handrail for balance, but other than that he walks like a man on a mission. Freida, done up perfectly in her skirt and suit top to look like our assistant, sits beside us as the helicopter fires up. “The agenda for the meeting-”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Rick says, cutting off Freida. “If the whole thing lasts longer than thirty minutes, I’m going to lose. I can’t keep this up longer than that.”

  “What did you pump into you?” Freida asks. “I saw one of the bags, glucose. What else?”

  “Stimulants, anti-inflammatory steroids, and a laundry list of shit that would get any doctor who prescribed it to me to lose their license,” Rick says. “I think there’s an adrenaline shot in there too. I sent Gordon a list of what I’m taking, asked him if it would kill me. He said the odds were… acceptable.”