by Jesse Jordan
My cock is nearly rock hard and I figure what the hell, why not? She is a woman, and it's not like I'm actually hitting on her. I just need a little relief, that's all. I go to unsnap my pants, and I have my zipper halfway down when my phone rings, and I groan, sitting forward and grabbing it. Martha. “Yeah Martha, what do you want?”
“Hey, Stud, how was the recording today?” she asks, and I can tell she's in 'wheeler and dealer' mode, she never calls me Stud or any pet names unless she's trying to talk me into something.
“Great session, Martha. What do you need?” I ask, my cock wilting in my pants. She may be hot, but she just doesn't do it for me.
“I got you an interview tomorrow with a guy from Kerrang!. They wanted to talk about the new album and some other stuff,” Martha says excitedly. “Kerrang!, Rocky. That's the big time now, baby.”
She's right, Kerrang! is on the cutting edge of rock music. They're the magazine that picks out the new superstars months, if not years, before Rolling Stone or anyone else has the balls to say it.
“You say the new album and 'other stuff.' What other stuff do they want to talk about? The tabloid bullshit?” I ask my cock now totally limp and retreating at full speed up into my body. I really don't need this.
Martha though doesn't seem to get it. “Come on Rock, you know these guys are gonna be pros about it. I even scheduled it for early, eight a.m. You get in, do the interview, and you'll miss at most a half hour of session time. That'll give Joey and Ian a chance to lay their tracks down anyway.”
“I don't know, Martha. I mean, the Fragments is a band. I don't like being singled out like this. Can't we do it as a group?”
Martha sighs, and I can imagine her rubbing her temples on the other side of the line. “Rocky, they don't want to talk to Ian or Joey. You're the front man, you're the guy who gets the glory, you know?”
“Bullshit, Martha. Listen, I'll talk with the guy tomorrow, on one condition. He sits down and does an equal amount of time with Joey and Ian. I can't control what he and his editor publish, but let them know that if they try and twist the story into making me look like some sort of breakout star or other bullshit, I'm blasting them all over Instagram and Twitter and whoever the fuck will listen to me. Make that clear.”
“You're giving me gray hair, Rocky. And I'm only twenty-five. You realize that?” Martha asks, and I know I've won. She always bitches about her looks right before she's going to give in. I think I'm the only person she gives in to at all, so maybe she just bitches that way to me. “Fine, fine. I'll give the guy a call, he might want to make the sit-down time shorter with you because of it though. But he'll give Ian and Joey the same respect. Happy now?”
“Happier. You're the best, Martha,” I tell her, still not happy but I can live with it at least.
“See you in the morning.”
“See you, Rock. Get some rest, they'll probably have a photographer there tomorrow too. Goodnight.”
Martha hangs up, and I shake my head, looking at my phone. This is total bullshit. My mood's ruined, there's no way my cock is feeling frisky now. Well, it's only eight thirty, and Equinox doesn't close for another hour and a half. Joey's probably not up for it, but I could get a quick workout in, make sure I'm looking good for the interview tomorrow. Hell, I might even get to bed by ten o'clock, a record early bedtime for a rock star.
It's better than sitting around this place.
Cora
After only two days of working with Rocky, Ian, and Joey, I'm finding myself amazed at how awesome all three of the guys are. Two days, and we've got one and a half tracks finished. Not worked on, not practiced through... finished.
“Guys, you sure you aren't just yanking my leg over this, and have been playing these for a couple of years?” I ask as we wrap up the work for the afternoon. “Because you're jamming this like it's a normal set for you three.”
“Tag team us with a super producer, and it goes like that,” Rocky says, his smile making my stomach flutter in a once again familiar way. I've spent nearly every minute of the past two days aware of my femininity, or more accurately Rocky's masculinity, and not in a bad way either. He's not demeaning; he's not trying to dominate me or run me down like a lot of guys in the music industry do. It's just when I'm around him, I notice the little things, like the way he closes his eyes when he's really focusing on putting his heart into a verse, or the casual way his arms flex when he's moving.
And I'm noticing myself more too. This morning, Bella even noticed something, asking why I was putting on makeup for a studio session. “You look pretty today Mommy,” she said when I dropped her off at daycare, smiling. “I like your ponytail.”
“That's why you can have the same ponytail, baby,” I replied, giving her a kiss on the forehead and adjusting the band high on her head. “I'll see you after work. I love you.”
Now, coming towards the end of the afternoon session, I'm having the time of my work life. I mean, I'm confident in my skills. My first job as a producer is not to tweak sounds with my board or computer, but instead, to try and get the musicians to give me their best rendition. With the tools available to me, I can make a three-toed sloth on a keyboard sound like the New York Philharmonic's spotlight piano player. I can make a thirty-year-old recording of Barry White sound like Ellie Goulding.
But it takes away the soul, the real music.
And in this, the Fragments has been the greatest assembly of talent I've ever had the pleasure to work with. With Joey's guitar work, I don't have to go in and start trying to splice any notes or adjust the timing. Ian's the same, his drums are solid, in perfect beat, and real. When he unleashes a drum solo, he takes over the track, but then as soon as I need him to fall back to being the backbone again, he's there. When listening to the mixed tracks I've put together, you barely notice him... until you take his drums away, and you realize that the skeleton that Rocky and Joey's muscle hangs on is missing.
Of course, there's Rocky with a voice that stirs my soul, my heart, and yes, my libido. On Gimme Danger, he left me breathless. Today's track, Starlight, has me nearly crying in sadness and anger at the social message of the song. If there are another ten tracks like this, I'm going to be going through an emotional roller coaster by the time this is over.
That's the hard part though, I don't want it to be over. Last night, and again through today, I've felt that sweet ache between my legs that only Rocky could cause, an ache that isn't just horniness but more.
Yeah, I've got it bad for Rocky again... and again, he's not noticing. Or at least, he's just the same friendly, authentic guy that he's always been. He’s affectionate, but in that brotherly-friend way that says he likes me, but he doesn't lay awake thinking about me the way that I laid awake thinking about him. Nor in the way that I was thinking about him during my morning exercise routine, where I noticed every little flaw of my post-birth body; the few stretch marks, a few wrinkles. I'm not as thin as I used to be.
Still, it's been an amazing two days. “Okay, guys, how are you feeling?”
Rocky gives me a thumbs up, while Joey gives me that bashful grin that is so different from his onstage presence. He's a guy who black eyeliner does a lot for. “I think we can keep getting some stuff laid out.”
There's a knock on my door, and Martha comes in, today in her typical fitted pantsuit. I can't help it, looking at her model-like body and two-hundred-dollar bob haircut, I feel a surge of jealousy. Other than the fact I like being blond instead of her black, she looks like what I want to look like. I hold up my hand to the guys in the studio, and everyone sits back while I turn to Martha. I can still be professional. “Hey, what's up?”
“Larry wants to talk with Rocky. Apparently, there are some people from one of the big festivals in Japan that might be interested in the Fragments doing some stuff over there next summer. Larry's worked with these folks before, they're all about that face-to-face contact. Think you can spare him a little?” Martha says, in that way that says it's not a reque
st.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head in frustration. She pulled the same crap this morning. Doesn't she realize that it's peeling the guys apart like this that leads to bands breaking up? But what do I know, I'm just a producer. “Yeah, we just wrapped his parts on Starlight. You want all the guys?”
“No, Larry said just Rocky. Larry's got a small office, between him, me, the three Japanese guys, and Rocky, we're already going to be rubbing elbows. Also, knowing the Japanese, they'll want to take Larry and Rocky out on a drinking party after this, it's the way they do business. So, you might as well just plan on getting Rocky back tomorrow.”
I nod, biting back a comment, and hit my intercom to the studio. “Hey guys, did you hear that? Rock, seems like you've got a couple of Japanese guys to wine and dine.”
For the first time, I see Rocky look frustrated, and he slams his lyrics sheets down on the table, shaking his head. “Really? Kerrang! wasn't enough?”
“Sorry, Rock, but put it this way, this deal goes through with the Japanese, it's big money. Last year, the band members walked away with a hundred thousand dollars in their pockets each. That was after Gashouse and the promoters took their cut. It's big bucks, Rock.”
Rocky nods in frustration and looks over at Joey and Ian, who wave it off. “Chill, man. We can lay some backing tracks or something. You go try some sushi, suck down sake, and try not to make an idiot of yourself with the chopsticks.”
Rocky grabs his bag and leaves the booth, waiting for Martha. As he does, he gives me another heart-stopping grin. “Sorry, Muse. You're not mad?”
“I'm never mad at you, Rocky. You know that. Go handle your business, I'll be here,” I reply, trying not to pour my heart out again. I'm more mature now, I know that if I get a chance I'll want to tell him how I feel, or at least how I felt in high school, but this is certainly not the time. Instead, I give him a smile and watch as he leaves with Martha, and I turn my attention back to Joey and Ian, who are still in the booth, Joey catching a sip of water. “Okay guys, if you want, Joey, we can get your backing vocal track, but that shouldn't take too long. Anything you guys want to also do?”
Ian jokes, “Hey, let the Butter Pican here lay his track, I'm gonna grab a drink then chill. I'm still getting used to this normal day work hours, I could use a nap.”
“You always need a nap,” Joey shoots back, but I can tell by the way he's saying it, he's just goofing off with his friend. They've been together since Joey was in high school, even before Rocky joined them. “You go do your thing, Yoda. I'll keep Cora busy.”
“Yeah right, Joey,” I tease. “You'll need more than your guitar skills to keep me busy.”
Sure, there's a lot of double entendre in what we're joking back and forth, but that's pretty normal in music. Music's emotional and sensual a lot of the time, people are going to be more in tune with that, and to hell with the politeness. Joey though blushes, and I know he's just a sweet and innocent guy in a lot of ways. I don't know if he has a girlfriend, but I bet he's a great boyfriend for the right girl. As long as she doesn't take advantage of him.
I guess that's what Ian is for, he's the sarcastic, protective mother hen of the group. He laughs softly as he leaves the studio, and Joey takes another sip of water. “Cora, you know that I....”
“Chill, Joey,” I cut him off with a smile. “You're turning red, honey. I know you were just joking, and I'm not upset. Now, let's see if we can get some dulcet tones out of that mouth of yours, and we'll call it a day again unless Ian's got something up his non-sleeves.”
Joey's hardly got dulcet tones, he's a serviceable backup voice that I can tweak for the album, and leave some notes for any live performance soundboard guys on what to do. But he's got his stuff down cold, he's been singing the backing to himself all day, so that when it's his time to lay down vocals, he gets it in three takes, giving me a huge grin when I give him a thumb’s up. “Really?”
“Really, Joey. You guys are making magic the past few days. You wanna give it a listen? I don't have the mix yet, but I can let you listen to your part with the basic instrumental,” I tell him, cueing up the right tracks. “Come on in, you can listen on my set.”
The speakers in my booth are more like what it would sound like in an arena, and Joey sits down in one of the other booth chairs, nodding along as he listens. Ian comes back in just as it wraps up, and I replay it for him, Ian's normal sleepy glower smooths out into something more approaching a calm smile. It's pretty rare on Ian, he either scowls or looks sarcastic, not much else. “Not bad, Joey. Not bad at all.”
“You nailed your drums too, Ian,” I comment. The guys relax, and I lean back, stretching. Okay, so Joey looks me over, but he's a guy. It's a rule, if a guy doesn't look over a woman who's stretching overhead with her boobs sticking out, he's gotta be gay. But Joey doesn't ogle, so it's all good. “Hey, can I ask you guys a few questions?”
“Sure,” Joey says, glancing back at Ian who just nods. “As long as you don't mind spilling the beans on what Rocky was like back in high school. Let me guess, total ladies’ man?”
“No, actually the opposite,” I tell them, smiling. “He was so focused on being a rock star, he never had a girlfriend in high school at all. Actually, I was his senior prom date, but it was... well, it was as friends. We joked that it made sure the groupies stayed away from him. Not that he ever worried about them.”
“That hasn't changed too much,” Ian rumbles, leaning back and closing his eyes. “I've never heard of any front man outside of some of the Christian rock bands who does less playing around with the groupies than Rocky does. And some of those church boys sure don't act that way backstage.”
“He's not innocent,” Joey contradicts, “I mean he's dated, he's tried to have girlfriends, but for most of the time, he was like you said, focused on the music and being a rock star.”
“Yeah, but he's reaching his limits,” Ian half growls again, and I hear the concern in his voice.
“What do you mean? He's still smiling and joking with me, a lot of ways it feels like five years ago,” I tell them. “I mean, I've read the scandals too, but in the studio, he seems like the same Rocky Blake that I jammed with in the garage back in Simi Valley.”
Joey shakes his head side to side, his hands in his lap. “Nah, chica. Those scandal sheets are nothing but lies. Little things blown up about ten thousand percent. Like that last one. I was there, he didn't even touch the girl at all. If that girl got laid that night, it wasn't by any of us. But it's not that.”
“What is it, then?” I ask, concerned. “I mean, it's been a while since I was over at his house, but Rocky's still my friend.”
“We noticed,” Ian says, his voice still gravelly. “The thing for Rock is that he's getting his dream, but he's realizing that the dream isn't what he really wanted. I mean, he still loves the music, he loves the rock... but he thought that rock was going to bring him things that he hasn't found yet. I've tried to tell him that the industry isn't going to bring it to him, but it's just starting to soak in for him.”
“What's he want?” I ask. “Money? Fame? He always knew there was a downside to it, at least he said he did.”
“Actually, I think what Rocky wants more than anything is acceptance,” Ian says, raising his head up and rolling his right shoulder in a sort of half-shrug. “He needs to be grounded, to have that person who he can be with. He's getting close to the edge, and it worries me. Too many guys get pulled like he's getting pulled. To hide the pain and emptiness, they start turning to groupies, drugs, and bullshit. An easy recipe for dulling the emptiness, but also…”
“Also, an easy recipe to killing your talent,” I finish, and Ian nods. “What about you guys? You three seem to be good friends.”
“You gotta have more than just friends, I think. His Mom and Dad are nice, but I think he needs that right person,” Ian says. “Hell, what Rocky needs is a serious girlfriend and one that doesn't want him just for his fame. Of course, as he gets more and more f
amous, the harder that gets.”
We talk for another half hour until I need to get going to pick up Bella, the guys and I swapping fist bumps as I take my data and head out. In my car, as I deal with the early rush hour traffic, I think about what Ian said. Someone who doesn't want him because of his fame. Someone who gets Rocky, who cares for him.
Maybe, well... what about me?
Rocky
The sun is pale and the air is still cool as I jog along the dirt trail of the canyon. It’s probably not the smartest idea for a six a.m. workout, with the risk of tripping and busting my ass, but with Martha insisting on another working breakfast, I can't deal with the morning rush crowd at a gym. Here, I've got privacy, a chance to clear my head.
The dirt is soft under my shoes. I’m going downward at a lazy, easy pace that lets my body warm up and stay safe before looping and running back up the same slope hard, getting my sweat going.
The session's going great, I love being in the studio with Joey, Ian... and most of all with Cora. We're laying tracks left and right, and I'm getting the feeling like things are going to be absolutely fantastic. Something that I've dreamed of my entire life.
Every once in a while, an album comes along. An album that just becomes iconic. Like Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Michael Jackson, and even Metallica. They made albums that you listened to, not for one song, not for two songs, but for the whole damn list of tracks.
Since the download era began though, artists are more worried about making their name with the next viral video song to fuel their ability to tour than making good albums.
But I think we've got a chance for that next big thing. Starlight was supposed to be some filler light prog-rock, something that Gashouse could show and say that the Fragments have a social conscience. But with Cora's help, a little tweaking from Joey on guitar and me going with the soul that she encouraged me to search for, it became a hell of a lot more. It had me believing in the whole song before we wrapped it.