by Jesse Jordan
Rocky looks up into my eyes and chuckles darkly. “I'm not feeling it, Cora. I don't know if it's the song or if it's the subject or even if it's trying to get it to change over from pop to rock, but I'm not feeling it. And every day this is getting worse and worse for me.”
“Have you been trying to think of something to replace it?” I ask, taking a guess. “I know you, you're pretty creative when it comes to alternatives.”
Rocky nods, and passes over a tablet of paper. I open it up and see page after page of scribbled out junk, and behind Rocky, I can see a trash basket full of wadded up pages. “As you can see... I'm dry.”
“What's the issue?” I ask, leaning back. “The ballad part?”
Rocky shakes his head, letting it sag until his chin's nearly in his chest, and I can barely hear his next words. “I guess I just don't know how to sing about love. Or maybe I just don't know how to write about it. I don't really know it, maybe.”
My heart breaks, and I know that I have to take a chance. Maybe Rocky rejects me, maybe he understands. Maybe this is the last day that I'll ever get a chance to produce for him, maybe he'll realize what I'm trying to tell him. “Wait here. There's something that I wrote, something that you need to see.”
I go back into the booth and grab my backpack. It's still there, inside the inner pocket where I always keep it, ever since the night five years ago when I wrote it. I carefully open the book to the right place and read it over, swallowing my fear. Rocky has to understand. If he doesn't… well, maybe it's never been meant to be.
He's looking up when I come back into the studio, holding the book to my chest. “What's that?” Rocky asks as I hold the book out to him. “A comp book?”
“It's the book that I used to write our ideas down in,” I explain softly. “I wrote something in it that I've never had the guts to show you before. But.... please.”
Rocky takes the book from me, and I'm too nervous to say anything, so I turn around and look into the window that separates the studio from the production booth, and wait with my heart in my throat.
“The light is so bright, but still you can't see, the glare has blinded you, it's kept you from the truth...” Rocky says softly as he reads, and I close my eyes, unable to bear it anymore. Without even realizing it I begin to sing, the tune the one that I worked out in my head over the years as I thought about the song again and again.
“How can Four Letters hurt so much?
How can they break my heart?
It's only four little letters
How can Four Letters hurt me so?
When they're put together this way
When I want you to say love,
And what you say is friend.”
“Cora...” Rocky whispers and I hear him drop the book. I turn around, the tears already threatening to stream down my face. “Cora… this is about me?”
“I've loved you for so long, Rocky. I can't... I love you,” I whisper as Rocky comes closer. “Every time you called me your buddy or your friend, it tore my heart out. It still does. And I've never meant to hurt you, ever.”
Rocky's eyes burn with a fire that I've never thought I would see as he steps closer, pushing me against the soundproof padding on the wall of the booth, and his lips find mine. We kiss passionately, my heart racing with the joy of his accepting me. I pour my love into the kiss, our bodies pressing close together as we tug and pull at each other's clothes. I'm just wearing simple shorts and a t-shirt today, and when Rocky gets my shirt untucked, he lifts it, his lips hungrily devouring my neck and leaving stars shooting across my vision from how good it feels. “Rocky... oh my God…”
“You're beautiful,” Rocky says, lifting me up and pulling me away from the wall enough to pull my shirt over my head. Lifting me higher, he keeps standing but brings my breasts to his head level, kissing and sucking outside the cups of my bra until he realizes that I'm wearing a front closure today, and with a chuckle he pins me against the wall, freeing his hands. “And don't you dare say that you need to leave.”
“I'm all yours,” I laugh, putting my hands on his powerful shoulders while he undoes my bra. The cups fall to the side and suddenly I'm engulfed in a wave of electric white pleasure as he nibbles and sucks on my right nipple, his tongue causing me to moan deliriously. Rocky's mouth brings me higher and higher, my pussy throbbing with my pulse as I'm thrilled more than I ever have in my life.
I feel tightness roiling in my stomach, I'm close to coming and Rocky hasn't even gotten my shorts off yet, my mind is overloading with emotion and electricity. “Rocky... please Rocky, I need you...”
“You have me,” Rocky growls, his hand reaching between my legs and rubbing me through my shorts. Rocky switches breasts, and I'm lost, the shocks from my pussy joining the heat that's coming from my nipples and crashing, exploding through me. My legs straighten and stiffen as I come, my head is thrown back as my arms clutch at Rocky's head, not wanting him to ever leave me.
This is happiness. This is what I've always wanted. The love of this man, the pleasure that only Rocky can bring me, my mind whispers as I come down, Rocky lowering me carefully to the ground. I keep my hands around his neck and kiss him tenderly, grateful. “My love...”
I feel his cock pressing against my thigh, and I smile, reaching down with my right hand to cup him. Rocky gasps and I tug at his shirt, unbuttoning it as I go. I peel his shirt away from his ripped torso, kissing the swells of his chest muscles before biting his left nipple tenderly until he groans and pulls my head tighter against his skin, and I can feel his heartbeat trough my lips. I pull back and take him by the hand. I see exactly what I want, the high seated chair that Rocky's used for sitting down in between takes when recording. I reach it and unbutton my shorts, pushing them down my legs with my panties and stepping out, glad I wore easy to take off casual shorts today. “Rocky... I'm on the pill. Please?”
Rocky growls and nods and I smile, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling him out. He's even better than my fantasies, long and thick and oh so hard, the velvety soft skin warm and throbbing in my hand as I sit down and spread my legs, letting him look at my pussy. I've always kept myself shaved, more for the fact that I like to wear sports style bikinis when I take Bella to the pool than for the look, but the fire that flares in Rocky's eyes makes me feel sexier than ever. Rocky clears his throat and takes his cock in his hand, his free hand cupping the back of my neck. “Cora....”
“It's okay, Rocky. I love you,” I whisper, and he nods, understanding. He slides the head of his cock inside me, and I'm shocked again. He feels even thicker than I thought, and it's barely an inch before I feel like I'm being torn open. Rocky stops though and pulls back before thrusting in again, his eyes fixed intently on my face. I grab his muscular forearm, the cords of guitar-playing muscle giving me plenty to grip as he stretches me open slowly, taking his time, his stomach muscles rippling with every thrust. I can feel him trembling like a race horse, the tight, steely bands of strength and sinew nearly vibrating with the restraint he's forcing on himself. With a final long, slow thrust I feel him slide deep, deep, deeper than anyone's ever been. Then he's all the way inside me, both of our mouths falling open it's so overwhelming. “Holy fuck... yes...”
“Yes...” Rocky groans, his hips pulling back before he thrusts again, hard. His hips smack sharply into my ass, jolting me as his eyes go dark with intensity. He's searching my face for any sign of discomfort, of pain, but all I want is him, and I want him as deep and as hard as he wants. Instead of wincing, I smile and pull him in for another kiss, our lips meeting as Rocky begins to thrust in and out, hard and deep, his cock opening me up more and more. Thunder crashes through my body with each hard, deep stroke of his cock, the head rubbing against my g-spot every time he pulls back and thrusts again.
I hold on to Rocky, my will to resist obliterated. My body, my soul is taken by him thoroughly, unrelentingly, as his cock strokes in and out relentlessly, his powerful hips driving him deep into me over and over. I've n
ever felt this before and I'm caught up, helpless against his power and his passion.
I thought that this would be like with my other lovers, but Rocky's different. He's passionate, each stroke lighting the nerves in my pussy up with lights, sounds, and an energy that doesn't stop. He keeps going, his cock never giving me a chance to breathe as I realize that I'm getting ready to come again, trembling on the edge.
“Rocky... oh fuck Rocky... yes, yes, yes...” I repeat over and over, my pussy squeezing around his thick, veiny cock, wanting to please him and to feel him give himself fully to me. “Please Rocky... love me...”
“Cora!” Rocky suddenly grunts, and I can feel his cock swell, my body clamping down as my second orgasm crashes through me, wave after wave of release. Rocky cries out wordlessly, his groan coming from deep inside him, from his heart as he explodes inside me, filling my pussy with his precious come. I'm crying out as well, clutching him to me as he spurts, again and again, the warmth mixing with the heat of my body. My body is racked with spasms, and I'm sobbing, not in sadness but in joy and happiness, the warmth completing me and making me realize that maybe I had to wait, but Rocky's been worth it.
Rocky holds me tightly as we come down from our climaxes, and I feel wetness on the skin of my shoulder. Lifting his head, I see that Rocky's crying too, and I wipe his tears away, kissing him tenderly. “Rocky, never, ever think that you aren't loved,” I whisper, brushing his hair out of his face. “I will always love you.”
Rocky can't speak, but he nods and holds me closer, his body saying what his voice can't. In his arms, I can feel him start to cry again, but it's okay. I understand, and I hold him close, the two of us sinking to the floor and comforting each other until we're able to stand up and get dressed a long time later, so late I'm shocked we haven't had someone discover us.
Not that it matters to me.
Rocky
“Hey Rocky, you okay today?” Joey asks as he gets out from under the squat bar. We decided to do legs today for our Sunday workout. Joey just finished his set with two fifty, about the most he goes to and helps me put another ten-pound plate on each side, we’re going for endurance. “You're looking out of it today, man.”
“Sorry,” I reply, getting under the bar. I go to lift it, but for some reason, I'm off balance, and I quickly set it back down in the hooks, I don't want to throw out my back. “Fuck.”
“All right man, I'm calling a Code Red. Strip the bar,” Joey says, injecting the hard and fast rule that the two of us have had ever since we started working out together. A Code Red means that regardless of feelings, regardless of whatever the other person says, we're shutting down the workout, no questions asked. “Come on, strip the bar.”
It's been a year since one of us had to call a Code Red on the other, the last time being when Joey tried to show off a little too much to a cutie in pink shorts and tweaked a shoulder, but his ego didn't want to let him admit it. This time it's my turn to look foolish as I help him strip the bar down and we head towards the locker room less than twenty minutes after we walk in the door. “Fuck. Sorry, Joey. I just can't seem to focus today.”
“Well then, let's talk it out,” Joey says, pointing towards the hot tub. “Come on, you know it'll help you relax. And I promise to keep my hands and feet to myself.”
I chuckle and nod, following Joey out to the hot tub, which is by some miracle empty. I guess coming to work out at eight thirty on a Sunday night as winter approaches is a good time to get the tub to yourself. We settle in after stripping off our shirts, the water quickly soaking through my shorts, but I don't really care, I've got a spare set in the locker room. “Ah, this does feel good.”
“So, what's up, Rocky?” Joey asks as he leans back against the tiles, his arms resting on the edge of the tub. “You still bummed about Eternal Flame?”
“No... actually, we might have something better on our hands,” I admit. “You see after you guys left, Cora and I started talking.”
“That's dangerous,” Joey jokes, then sobers. “You two patch things up between you?”
“Maybe…” I reply, then sigh.
My voice trails off, and Joey looks at me for a moment before realization dawns on his face, and he blinks. “You two... did the nasty?”
“It sure as hell wasn't nasty,” I reply with a wistful grin before sighing again. “Fact is Jose, it was the most meaningful experience of my life. Makes all those girls that we used to screw around with, the girlfriends that I tried after that... makes them look like just empty fumbling around. I can't believe it, but for the first time in my life I want to say that I actually made love.”
“Holy shit,” Joey says softly, sitting back and looking up at the sky. “You realize that you and I have been friends for five years now and I think this is one of the few times you've called me Jose instead of Joey?”
“What's your point?” I ask.
Joey shrugs. “Just that it must really mean something to you. So, you two didn't just do the nasty, you did something more. What's the problem with that? You still have problems trusting her?”
“No... actually, she dropped the L-bomb on me,” I continue. “You see, she and I were talking about the song. I told her that part of the reason I wasn't feeling it was because I honestly didn't feel like I've ever really been in love. Fuck man, I'm twenty-three, and I've spent the past ten years of my life with my head so far up my ass trying to be a rock star that I never made time for real relationships. Oh sure, I was out there dating, I mean, I barely remember their names. Probably because I never, ever had that emotional connection that I had the very first time I kissed Cora.”
“We're young, man, what do we know what real love feels like?” Joey asks. “That's what the songwriters are for. I know, I know, you're a songwriter too. I just handle the licks on my guitar, sometimes helping out by putting together a melody. But go ahead. So, you told her you didn't think you've ever been in love. And?”
“And she went to her backpack and showed me lyrics she had written when we were in high school about me. I started reading it, and Joey... holy hell, man, it was like reading the purest, most painful outpouring of love on a page that I've ever read. I had to go up to the top and started re-reading it, and I started reading it aloud. Cora picked it up and started singing, man. Singing. Have you ever heard Cora sing?” I ask, and Joey shakes his head. “She's got pipes, man. Is she the best singer in the world, no, but you know how it is when emotion and voice and lyrics all come together, it was magical. And from there, I had to stand up and go to her... and well I'll leave the details out. But afterward, as we were leaving the studio, she tells me that she wants us to have the song. Not sell us the song, she just fucking gave it to me. Seriously, in the parking lot next to my car she just hands me the book, telling me that it's mine.”
“So, what's the problem? I take it it's a good song,” Joey says, then stops. “I get it. You feel guilty.”
“I do,” I admit. “I spent all day thinking about it, not sure what to do. I mean Joey, that song. It's Cora's heart on paper. We'd have to re-work the lyrics a little in order to make it fit our relative positions, but we record that, the whole world knows how Cora feels. And there's a part of me that wonders if I did seduce her just to get the song.”
“Did you?” Joey asks. “I'm not trying to be a dick, Rocky. I'm just asking when you made your move to her, what were you thinking? Were you thinking about Cora or about scoring the song?”
“I was thinking that at that moment, I had to show her that I understood, that... that I feel for her too,” I admit. Joey watches me for a moment, and I sigh. “Fact is Joey... she's special to me. Very special.”
“You love her, don't you?” Joey asks, and I shrug. “What's wrong?”
“I guess I just need time to come to grips with that word, that's all. We throw it around all the time, love. I love burgers, I'd love to go to the Super Bowl, I love watching TV on a Sunday night, whatever. But in this case... this isn't exactly the type o
f love you just throw around like it doesn't mean anything, you know? I just need time to come to grips with how I feel,” I say quietly. Joey nods, and we sit in the hot tub for a while, saying nothing until I laugh softly. “God, I sound like a sappy song myself.”
“There's always a time for sappy songs, man. You know that. Can I offer a piece of advice though?”
I nod, and Joey looks over. “Use the time that we're reworking and recording this to figure your heart out. Lay it out in the way you sing, in the words you use. You do that and at the end of the recording, you'll know what you feel.”
“Wise words, man. All right, let's try it that way. I'll tell you one thing I know for sure.”
“What's that?” Joey asks, looking up when I boost myself out of the hot tub.
“I'm going to feel like a fucking idiot trying to explain all this to Ian before we start work on this tomorrow morning. I've boiled myself enough, I'm going inside.”
I don't tell Joey or Ian about the other thing that's still running around my head as the four of us sit down to work out the changes that we're going to need for Four Letters, as I've decided to call it. The other thing is that there's something that Cora still hasn't told me, something that I don't think is vital, but still something that she's holding back like she's afraid that it will affect how I think about her. Sitting in the studio, I look across the little quad of folding chairs, where Cora's smiling shyly. “Okay guys, so I guess Rocky's told you I had a song.”
“Yeah, I looked it over,” Ian says, and Cora looks into his face nervously, awaiting his judgment. She didn't need to worry. “It's fucking awesome. Rocky said that you had a tune to it. Can you sing it for us? The original lyrics, I mean? Or at least hum them?”
Cora's smile of relief warms my heart, and she bites her lip, nodding. “Uh... I can hum them. Maybe you guys can make a tune from that?”