“Ready?” Carson asked.
Brandon didn’t have a single case of nerves. Instead, he had a big smile and his seat belt was already off. “Yeah. I’m going to learn about Noah’s ark. And then there’s a carnival.”
“Yeah, that sounds like good stuff, doesn’t it?”
Brandon nodded as he climbed over the seat. “Let’s go.”
Carson opened the door and Brandon followed him out. The little boy tucked his hand in Carson’s larger one. The two of them walked toward the church together. The bells were ringing. People were streaming in. It wasn’t the only church in town, but he guessed it was the biggest. Towns such as Little Horn were all about church and faith.
“Do you think they have cookies?” Brandon asked as they climbed the few steps to the door.
“I’m not sure. They might.”
Carson entered the building and it took him back. Man, it took him back. Pain crashed over him. Wave after wave of pain. He couldn’t enter this building without remembering being a fifteen-year-old kid, praying for his mother. And the prayers had gone unanswered.
That had been his take on it. Later, after his mother’s funeral, when neighbors had stopped to visit and brought food, Iva Donovan had spoken to him with quiet reassurance. She’d told him that sometimes it seemed a prayer was unanswered, but that was never the case. God hears, she’d told him. God hears and He understands our pain, but He sees the bigger picture. She’d told him that for reasons they couldn’t understand, God had taken Lila Thorn home. And God would get him through the pain.
Carson had been angry, and he’d bottled that pain up and gotten himself through. He’d used all of that pent-up anger on the football field. He’d used it in basketball and he’d used it on the back of horses.
He felt Brandon pulling on his hand and he looked down at the little boy.
“I have to go to class,” Brandon whispered, looking around. “Derek said there’s a class.”
“Of course.” Carson headed for the door that led to the classrooms. “This way.”
He didn’t make it. Ruby appeared, looking nervous and worried as she reached for Brandon’s hand. “I’ll take him.”
She shot him another look. He let go of Brandon’s hand and watched as she hurried away with his nephew.
Emotion can’t be trusted. His father’s lesson, ingrained from years of hearing the lecture. Carson sank into a pew and pretended he wasn’t there for the first time in years. He sang the songs. He listened to the sermon.
He saw himself as a boy praying at the altar, his mother next to him. She’d encouraged his faith. His dad had said it was a crutch.
A thought whispered through his mind, asking him how he’d been doing without faith. He didn’t answer because he didn’t want to delve that deeply into his life. He existed. The ranch was profiting. He had friends.
Ruby reappeared and sat next to him.
He had friends.
* * *
The fall carnival was set up on the big lawn that surrounded the church. Derek had been telling the truth. There were two bounce castles, pie-eating contests, games with prizes, a clown, music and a speaker. Hamburgers were being cooked on big grills. All the sides were set out on tables.
Carson led Brandon in the direction of the food. “Eat first and then play.”
“But I had cookies.”
Carson had to grin at that argument. “Yeah, well, I think you should have something more than sugar.”
“They had nuts,” Brandon argued.
“Good argument, but no.” Carson knew how to dig in his heels, too. And with a five-year-old around, he was getting better all the time.
“My mom said you’d be strict and I wouldn’t be able to get away with arguing.”
“Is that so?” he responded, not sure what else to say. How did he reassure a little boy that his mom had promised she’d be back soon? In their last conversation, right before she’d hung up, Jenna had said something about mistakes, but she would be home and things would be better. She promised. They reached the food and he handed Brandon a plate with a burger. “Get chips, some kind of salad and milk to drink.”
“But they have cookies.” Brandon reached for chocolate chip.
“No.” Carson placed watermelon on his nephew’s plate.
“Man, that isn’t fair.” Brandon looked at the fruit. “I think I’m allergic.”
“No, you aren’t. You had watermelon a few days ago.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Carson laughed, because having Brandon around made laughing easy. “Go find us a seat.”
He watched the little boy hurry away and then he started on his own plate. Byron McKay walked up behind him, his own plate already filled with food.
“Byron,” Carson greeted and hoped it would be enough.
“Carson, good to see you here.”
“It’s good to be here,” he said, and it was the truth. But he wouldn’t go into that with Byron.
“Is that your nephew over there with Derek Donovan?” Byron nodded in the direction of Brandon and Derek. The two were at a picnic table together. Ruby was nowhere to be seen. Not that he was specifically looking for her.
“You know it is, Byron.”
“Do you think that’s wise, to let a little boy buddy up to an ex-con who is probably responsible for stealing from your neighbors?”
Carson had to look away from the other man and take a pretty deep breath to keep from saying something that the good Lord wouldn’t like to hear on a Sunday. At church.
He turned back to the other rancher and pinned him with a glare. “Byron, in all of the years I’ve known you, I’ve tiptoed around your...” He paused and took another deep breath. “This is church. And you’re an elder in this church. And as far as I know, this is the place where we all come for mercy and redemption. It isn’t a place where people come for your judgment. Derek Donovan made a mistake, but he’s doing his best to stay on the right track. As far as I can tell, you haven’t changed a bit over the years.”
He turned to walk away and walked right into Ruby Donovan with her big hazel eyes and a tear streaming down her cheek. He shook his head and kept walking. He wasn’t a hero. He was just being honest.
Of course she followed him to the picnic table where Brandon and Derek were finishing their lunch. She didn’t say anything as he took a seat and she sat opposite him. Derek picked up his empty plate and reached for Brandon’s.
“Care if I take him to the bounce house?” Derek asked, smiling at the little boy who was already bouncing.
“No, have at it. And Brandon, in a little while, you and I will shoot some basketballs and see if we can win a prize,” Carson offered. Brandon’s face split in a big grin.
Carson got a hug that he hadn’t been prepared for. Brandon’s skinny arms wrapped around him and squeezed tight. And then he was gone, holding Derek’s hand as they crossed the lawn.
“Thank you for taking up for my brother,” Ruby said a few minutes later.
“I wasn’t taking up for him. I was telling the truth.”
She placed a hand on his arm. “Yes, the truth. But it matters that you would do that for him.”
“I...” He looked down at her hand on his arm and she moved it. “I did what was right, Ruby. He hasn’t been caught with any of the stolen property. He’s a good hand at my place. Everyone deserves a second chance.”
At his words, she looked away but not before he saw the flash of guilt in her hazel eyes. The check, he knew that was what she was thinking about. Someday they would have to discuss it, deal with it.
Not today. He’d already done enough dealing with the past for one day.
* * *
Ruby let it go. She didn’t want to talk about second chances or the past. Why go there when it was obvious it wouldn’t get them anywhere? Instead, she removed herself from Carson’s presence, telling him she had to check on Iva.
As she wandered off she did glance back. She pretended she didn’t care that
he was sitting alone. She pretended it didn’t matter that he’d taken up for Derek.
What mattered was that she was a Donovan. And they’d never been good enough. They’d worked hard and scraped to get by, doing their best. But they hadn’t been good enough for a Thorn, or for people such as Byron McKay.
She’d heard the whispers in high school, people wondering what Carson saw in Ruby.
She could have told them. She’d made him laugh and forget for a little while that he was hurting. They’d been two broken kids and somehow they’d made a whole.
And she hadn’t felt whole since he’d left. Since she left.
They’d completed each other. She’d known it then. She still knew it.
She found her grandmother under the shade of a tree. Iva, surrounded by friends, looked lost. She had a plate of food in front of her and a glass of sweet tea. But something was wrong.
Ruby sat next to her. “How’s your lunch, Gran?”
Iva turned to look at her, the movement costing her as her head jerked to the side and her left arm reacted with a sudden twitch. Ruby placed a hand on her grandmother’s arm. The two looked into each other’s eyes. No words needed.
Ruby picked up a fork and speared a bit of salad. She raised it to Iva’s lips. In the past week they’d had a few moments like this. She knew it bothered her grandmother to be dependent this way. If they didn’t talk, didn’t ask or mention it, they could shuffle through and make do.
Iva ate a few bites of food and then reached for her glass, her hand shaking. Ruby reached into her purse and pulled out a straw. She unwrapped it and placed it in the cup for her grandmother, and Iva leaned to take a sip.
When Iva finished taking a drink she shook her head and leaned toward Ruby. “Getting old stinks.”
Ruby smiled. “Yes, Gran, I know it does.”
Iva winked. “I’m getting worse, Ruby. We have to face that.”
“We’ll face it. Together. The way we face everything.” Ruby put an arm around Iva and gave her a loose hug.
“Yes, together. Would it be too much for you to take me home?”
“Of course I can take you home. Are you okay?” Ruby studied her grandmother’s face. “Should I get Doc Grainger?”
Iva chuckled, the sound raspy and shaky. “No, honey, I’m just tired. I’m fighting this body every day, trying to win, and it wears me out.”
“I’ll take you home. Let me see if Derek is ready to go.”
She started to get up and when she turned, Carson stood behind her. “I’ll get Iva to the truck, and you let Derek know you’re leaving. I can give him a ride home if he isn’t ready to go.”
“You don’t have to.” Ruby tried to argue but he gave her that serious look of his, forcing her to stop.
“Ruby, I don’t mind.”
She pulled him away from her grandmother and the other women at the table who would love nothing more than to overhear a conversation they could repeat later.
“Carson, it’s too easy.”
“Too easy?” He shook his head as he repeated her words.
“Yes, to rely on you. To have you back in my life. It’s too easy. You make it too easy. My...” She stopped. She had almost said heart. She couldn’t say that word.
“I’m a neighbor, Ruby. And I’m offering to help get your grandmother to your car.”
“I know.” She had to look away from probing dark eyes or she’d get lost in them.
“I’m going to take your grandmother to your car. If you want to find an argument to stop me, go ahead, but remember that this isn’t about us. It’s about Iva. We can agree on that, can’t we?”
“Yes, we can.”
And she watched him walk back to her grandmother. He whispered something, and Iva smiled and nodded. As she stood there, helpless against her heart, Carson Thorn scooped her grandmother into his arms and headed across the lawn with her.
All of her arguments with herself about him, about being a Donovan and not good enough, were lost when Carson acted like a man willing to come to the rescue.
Chapter Eight
Ruby stood in the tack room looking at the saddles. One saddle was adult sized, the leather soft and beautiful, the stitching like nothing she’d ever experienced. The other three saddles were for ponies. They were sitting on stands with bridles hung over the saddle horns. She touched the seat of the larger saddle and then pulled her hand away, because these saddles weren’t hers.
She hadn’t noticed them earlier in the day when she’d been out here feeding, before she’d gone to fix the fence at the back of the property. She guessed she hadn’t been in the tack room for a couple of days. There hadn’t been a reason to come in here, so she didn’t really know when the saddles had shown up.
Sunday. She’d been out here Sunday. It was Tuesday.
Not Derek. She wouldn’t let herself believe he’d done this, that he’d either stolen the saddles or bought them with money from stolen merchandise.
The previous night he’d come home with new boots. She’d asked him where he’d got boots like that, obviously expensive, more than they could ever afford. He’d smiled and said the boots were a gift.
An expensive gift. Maybe the saddles were a gift, too.
She didn’t know what she’d do if Derek was involved. And she didn’t want to lose faith in him, in the changes she’d seen in him.
The door to the tack room opened. She jumped back from the saddles and spun to face Carson. He looked from her to the saddles. And he didn’t say anything.
For a brief second she let herself believe the saddles were from him. After all, he knew she needed tack for the riding school.
“New saddles?” he asked, blowing her theory.
“Yes, they are. They...” They’d just appeared overnight.
He stepped into the room, followed by Brandon. She glanced at her watch, surprised that it was after four in the afternoon. She’d forgotten they had another lesson scheduled.
“Brandon, look at your new boots.” She exclaimed over the new boots he was making every effort to show off.
“Thanks. And I sure like that saddle.”
“I bet you do. You pick one and we’ll saddle up the horse for you to ride.”
Carson stood off to one side, watching her, then looking at the saddles.
“Stop, Carson. Don’t look at me like that.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “I’m not looking at you. But those aren’t cheap saddles, Ruby.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Sis, you in here?” Derek appeared at the door. He saw the saddles and whistled. “Wow, Carson, is that a makeup gift?”
“‘Makeup gift’?” Carson didn’t look amused.
Ruby cringed, knowing that Derek would say too much, and knowing that stopping her brother would be like trying to jump in front of a train and stop it with her bare hands. Derek stepped into the crowded tack room, his attention focused on the saddles.
“Derek...” she started.
He whistled as he ran his hand over the leather. “Yeah, you know, for all of the rotten things your sister said about her.”
“My sister?” Carson’s words came out low, controlled.
She knew that controlled tone. She looked up, met his gaze with a strong look of her own. “Time for riding lessons. Come on, Brandon, pick a saddle.”
Oblivious, the little boy reached for the darkest saddle, claiming it as his own. She lifted it from the stand and carried it out of the room, away from the men, away from the tension.
“I think you’re ready for an easy lope,” she informed the little boy as she settled the saddle on a rail and grabbed a lead rope off the hook on the wall.
“Seriously?” Brandon started to jump and she stopped him.
“Only if you’re calm.”
He took a deep breath and nodded. “Calm,” he repeated.
She smiled at the instant and exaggerated calm and led him outside to catch his pony. When they returned with the little b
ay, Derek was waiting to help saddle. He took the lead rope from her.
“Sorry, sis, I’m afraid Carson didn’t like what I said. I think he’s waiting to talk to you.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk.” She glanced around and saw that they were alone. “Where did the saddles come from, Derek?”
“Like I know? I thought Carson gave them to you to help you out. Guess not.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Sis, I hope you don’t think I—” He paused in the process of slipping the bridle on the pony. “You thought I did it?”
“No, I didn’t. I don’t know.”
“I need you to believe in me,” he said, finishing with the bridle. “Go talk to Carson.”
She nodded and started to walk away. Brandon was standing there, watching with big eyes and a knowing look. Ruby turned back to her brother. “Derek, I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.”
She walked out of the barn. Carson stood near the corral, his arms crossed over the top rail. She stopped next to him.
“What was that about?” he asked.
Would it work to pretend she didn’t know what he meant by that question? A quick glance at his stern features, the straight line of his mouth and the dark eyes focused on the horizon, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to pretend this away.
“History. Ancient history.”
“So, you won’t tell me what Jenna did, or what she said?”
She could, but what would it matter? “Carson, I don’t want to go back to those days, to the girl I was. I don’t want to relive those times.”
“No, I guess you don’t. Neither do I,” he admitted. “But those saddles are a problem.”
“I know they are. And I know how it looks.”
He did glance down then, his gaze connecting with hers, making her feel all kinds of confused. She wanted to defend her brother. She wanted to tell him how much Carson had hurt her. She wanted... She shook her head. Not him. She did not want him.
“Do you know how it looks?” he asked. “Do you realize what people will think?”
“Yes, I do. They’ll think my brother either took those saddles or that he stole cattle and bought the saddles with ill-gotten gains. But he didn’t. And I have so many other things to worry about that I don’t want to spend time worrying about what you or the people in this town think about us. I’m way past being the teenage girl who isn’t good enough.”
A Reunion for the Rancher (Lone Star Cowboy League 1) Page 8