“Monday,” she said as she put space between herself and Carson. Space she realized she didn’t really want.
Yes, life had a way of changing people.
Chapter Thirteen
Two days after they talked on the phone Carson led his sister through the old foreman’s trailer. They no longer used it. Larry and Gayla held the jobs as head trainers at the ranch. Larry also had the foreman position. The couple were Little Horn natives, though, and had their own small acreage and a house on the edge of town.
“It isn’t much,” Carson said to his sister. Not as an apology. Jenna had blown through every unprotected cent of her inheritance. She’d had a house that she’d sold. She’d sold her car. She had spent her college money rather than finishing school. She still had a trust fund and a monthly check from the ranch.
“It’s a place to live and I can fix it up.” She walked from the living room, down the narrow hall to the smaller bedroom and then to the master bedroom at the far end. “Brandon will like this, living close to you.”
“Brandon lives with me. Don’t forget that,” he reminded. And when tears welled in her eyes he softened. “For now. Just for now, Jenna.”
“I know and I’m glad you’re doing this. I’m glad you were here for us. And I’ll do better. I want to help at the ranch. I want to be the mom he deserves. All of this time I’ve known better. I know I wasn’t brought up to live the way I’ve been living. I can’t explain it.” She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, then nodded as she opened her eyes and looked him in the eye. “I can do this. If you don’t need me at the ranch, I’ll find a job.”
“I’m not sure of anyone who is hiring.”
“I’m not picky,” she said with a smile that didn’t flash, wasn’t prideful.
Even with everything she’d done, she was his little sister and he was glad to see this side of her again. He remembered the kid she’d once been, full of laughter, smart and willing to try anything. She’d been eleven when they lost their mom and he hadn’t realized what it had done to her, to be left without Lila Thorn’s soft touch.
She wasn’t picky about jobs or where she lived.
“The only person I know who is looking for help is Ruby Donovan. But I take it there’s a problem between the two of you and she doesn’t want to hire you.”
“No, I don’t imagine she does.” Jenna looked away from him.
Carson shook his head and stepped away from her. He walked to the wide picture window in the living room. The curtains were dusty rose, the color that had been popular when the trailer had been bought. Now they were mostly just dusty. He shook them out a little and dust particles filled the air.
“What did you do to her?” he asked with his back to his sister.
She joined him at the window, letting her finger trail through dust on the plastic mini-blinds. He glanced at his sister, with her long, dark hair and dark eyes. She was taller than average and usually confident. But the confident girl he remembered seemed to have disappeared, swallowed up by someone who’d made too many destructive choices.
“I think she should tell you. But I wasn’t good to her, Carson. I was jealous of your relationship. I needed you—”
“You had me.” He said it plainly. “You had me and you had everything. She had—”
“She had you.” Her tone was insistent.
He pushed his hat back and scratched his forehead. “Jenna, that’s insane. I don’t even know what to say to you. But whatever you did or said, I want you to apologize.”
“I don’t think she’ll want to hear it. And why now? Why didn’t you have me apologize years ago?”
“Because I didn’t know. I had no idea what went on when I was gone. I just know she wasn’t here when I got back and that our father paid her to leave.”
“That about sums it up. We tore her down. We destroyed her.”
“How?” Because up to now he’d thought it was about the money and whatever Jenna had said or done.
“Dad told her if she didn’t get her claws out of you, he’d ruin Iva.”
That floored him. He’d known his dad could be ruthless, but to threaten Iva Donovan? “You have to be wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. I don’t know what he planned. Maybe he didn’t have a plan. He just knew Ruby was loyal, and if she thought he’d hurt Iva, she’d walk away. It was you or her grandmother. She picked her grandmother.”
Anger shook him as he thought about his dad approaching an eighteen-year-old with that type of scheme. Of course she’d left. He would have left. Jenna touched his arm.
“I’m sorry.”
He shook himself free from her hand. “That isn’t going to change a thing.”
“I can’t undo what happened, Carson, but I’ll talk to her if that’s what you want.”
“I’m not sure if I want your help.”
She walked out the front door and down steps that needed to be repaired. Carson closed the door behind him and followed. The steps were shaky and a few boards had come loose. He’d send a couple of his men over to do the repairs.
“I’m not going to hurt her,” Jenna said as she headed for his truck. “I’m going to apologize and make things right. For you.”
“Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself. I think you probably have other apologies to make.”
“Maybe.” She turned back to him. “When we get to the house, can I use your truck?”
“Yeah, I guess you can.”
“But first I’d like to see Brandon when he gets home from school. I can tell him how sorry I am and that I’m going to do better. I’m going to be the mom he deserves.”
“The mom he deserves is a mom who puts him first. She takes him to church on Sunday. She fixes him dinner every night, tucks him in bed, wakes him up and makes sure he has breakfast before he gets on the bus.”
“When you let me, I’ll do those things for him.”
He opened his truck door. “Let’s get back to the house.”
Jenna climbed in on the passenger side and she smiled at him, about the most genuine smile he’d seen on her face in a long, long time. He guessed maybe they were getting somewhere. Maybe she would change.
When she proved herself, he’d settle the monthly stipend on her that their dad had left. Money she didn’t know about. Didn’t need to know about.
Their dad had been a lot of things it seemed, but he’d also been a smart businessman. He’d known his kids and what they could and couldn’t handle. When Jenna had left college with her college money, his dad had changed his will.
Carson probably hadn’t known himself as well as he’d thought. He hadn’t realized how much he would want his nephew to stay in his life. He hadn’t realized how much he missed Ruby.
Those were things he was coming to realize. At least where Brandon was concerned, he wasn’t too late.
* * *
Someone knocked on the front door. Ruby slid the brush through her hair and gave herself a last critical look in the mirror before going to answer it. She smiled at Iva, who was sitting in her recliner watching an early evening news show.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone. Were you?” Ruby asked as she headed for the door.
“No. I guess it isn’t Derek’s girl. They went to the movies.”
Ruby didn’t respond because she couldn’t. She wanted to believe her brother was at the movies. She needed to believe in him. When she opened the front door, it wasn’t Derek’s friend Alyssa. It wasn’t a friend at all. The woman standing on the other side of the door had changed a lot since high school. She no longer looked like the girl who had everything. She looked a little bit lost and a lot less confident as she stood waiting for a greeting. Ruby didn’t quite know what greeting to give.
Jenna Thorn smiled. It was a hesitant gesture, the kind that said she wasn’t sure if she’d be welcome. It made sense that she would feel that way. Ruby had a lot of reasons not to welcome Jenna.
There were the old reasons, but those had faded. Teenag
ed girls could be mean. Life went on. The new and most important reason to dislike Jenna was a five-year-old who had missed his mommy. Brandon. He surprised her by appearing, hurrying up the steps to stand next to his mom.
She opened the door and stepped outside. “Jenna. I didn’t expect to see you. Hi, Brandon.”
Jenna was thinner than she’d been years ago. Her hair was long. Her eyes were tired. She was two years younger than Ruby but a hard life had aged her. A seed of compassion sprouted. It wasn’t forgiveness but maybe it would grow in that direction.
“I came to apologize,” Jenna said. She rubbed her hands together in front of her and managed to make eye contact with Ruby. “I’m sorry for what I said.”
“Brandon, why don’t you run in and watch television with Iva,” Ruby offered, and the little boy seemed happy to oblige.
“Good idea,” Jenna said, watching her son hightail it inside.
“Wow, this is unexpected.” Ruby walked to the end of the porch and took a seat in a rocking chair. Jenna followed her. She didn’t sit.
“I know it is. And it’s long overdue,” Jenna said, leaning against a post. “I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you out of my brother’s life.”
“I guess you got your way. On both counts.”
Jenna finally took a seat. “I’m not proud of who I was or who I’ve become. I’m going to try and do better. While I’ve been away I’ve been going to church and I know this isn’t going to be easy. I know what I’m supposed to do and what I need to do. Getting it done, that’s the hard part.”
“I think you can do it.”
“That’s nice of you to say,” Jenna said. “I know I don’t have a lot of fans around here. I know you probably don’t think much of me.”
“I don’t have to. What matters is what you think of yourself.”
Truer words she’d never spoken. Ruby had said the same thing to herself as a pep talk all those years ago. She’d said it again just recently.
There was one thing she could do for Jenna. “I forgive you.”
Jenna closed her eyes and nodded. A tear trickled down her cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And now I’m afraid I have to go.”
Jenna’s eyes were open, her features lit up. “Yes, dinner with Carson. Brandon is spending time with me tonight, but we could stay with Iva if you’d like.”
That was taking forgiveness maybe a step farther than she was comfortable with. She could see that Jenna had made mistakes and needed mercy and a touch of grace. But watching Iva, that was a whole other ballgame.
“I take it that’s a no?” Jenna said as she stood to go.
“I don’t know if I can go that far, Jenna.” She glanced through the open window. She could see Iva clapping as she watched something on TV. Brandon sat next to her, laughing. “She’s my grandmother. She means everything to me. Your dad threatened to destroy her. Now, as an adult, I can see that he was bluffing, but that doesn’t change anything. I won’t let you hurt her.”
“I’m not going to defend him, but he thought he was doing the right thing for Carson.”
Ruby bristled at the comment that pointed out the differences in their lives. “Yes, I know what he thought he was doing. He was protecting his family by threatening to destroy mine.”
Jenna looked away, shaking her head just the tiniest bit. “I don’t know what happened to our family. But I’m sorry for what we did to you, to your family. I would like to stay here with Iva. I’m sure she and I would get along, and if she doesn’t want me here, I won’t stay.”
Ruby stood, trying to regain her composure. She hadn’t expected this tonight. She hadn’t expected to feel anything but anger toward a woman who had taken part in destroying what Ruby held dear. But life changed people. Time had taken the sting out of the words spoken years ago and it had softened the anger she had as a teenager. She guessed she could dredge it all up for old time’s sake, but why?
“Come inside.”
“She’s always been good to me, Ruby. I’m sure she knew what I did to you, but she never held it against me. She used to try to talk to me, to get me to church. I would always brush her off.”
“I know. She told me.” Ruby moved toward the front door. “She doesn’t know what your dad threatened.”
“I’m glad you didn’t tell her.”
“I did it for her, to protect her. I didn’t do it for the Thorns.”
As they walked through the door, Iva looked up, her eyes twinkling when she saw Jenna. “Well, Jenna Thorn, it has been a long time.”
Jenna moved to Ruby’s grandmother’s side, squatting next to her chair and taking hold of her hand. “It’s been too long. But I’m back for good.”
“I’m glad you are. And from the look in your eyes, I’m hoping you’re back in more way than one. You’ve come back to yourself, it seems.”
“I think so.” Jenna lifted the frail, shaking hand she held and placed a kiss on it. “I’d like to stay with you tonight while Ruby goes over for dinner with Carson.”
“Suddenly everyone thinks I need a babysitter,” Iva grumbled. “I don’t know what they all think is wrong with me.”
“Gran, please...” Ruby stepped forward.
“Oh, don’t ‘Gran, please’ me.” Iva’s head shook and she wrinkled her nose. “Just go to dinner with that boy. Jenna and Brandon will stay here with me. I don’t like to watch Wheel of Fortune alone.”
“I love to watch Wheel,” Jenna said as she released Iva’s hand and moved to a nearby chair. “You go, Ruby. We’ll be just fine.”
Ruby looked from her grandmother to Jenna. “I’m not sure.”
Iva grunted at that. “I don’t know what you have to be sure about. I’ve made a decision and as far as I know, I’m still of sound mind. You’ve been worried about me being alone and falling. Now I won’t be alone. And I don’t think Jenna will push me down.”
Jenna and Iva both laughed a little but stopped when Ruby gave them a narrow-eyed look. She shook her head and walked to the door, grabbing her purse on the way. “I’m going.”
“Have fun,” Iva called out. And then in a quieter voice to Jenna, “I started to think she was no longer able to have fun.”
She could have told them that she’d wanted to have fun. She hadn’t wanted to lose so much. Or to learn so much about people, about human nature, at such a young age. She knew there were people protected from life. There were children who grew up believing their parents always made the best choices for them. There were children who grew up thinking adults would never harm them.
There were those children.
And then there were the others. Children who were left alone, neglected, abused or just extra baggage that parents didn’t want to be bothered with. There were children like Jenna Thorn had been. Children who appeared to have it all but were really very broken on the inside.
Of course she thought of Betsy McKay, Mac McKay’s teenage daughter who had disappeared after her father died. As Ruby got in her truck and headed for Carson’s, she wondered where the girl had gone to and why no one in the community had taken her in. Maybe Ruby could find her and help her. Maybe she could give the girl a place on the ranch.
She thought of two people who might know the teen’s whereabouts. Winston and Gareth McKay. Byron’s twin sons. She’d seen them at the gas station a few days earlier and they were growing up. And hopefully not growing into their dad. They’d been respectful. They’d actually been kind. Gareth had even pumped her gas for her. The gesture had taken her by surprise.
Yes, she would talk to them about Betsy.
As she pulled up the drive to the Thorn ranch her thoughts tumbled back to the moment at hand. She’d been able to distract herself for a few minutes, but now reality rushed back. Tonight she and Carson would face their past. She wasn’t sure if she was ready.
Trust didn’t come easily. He’d hurt her. She’d probably hurt him. How did two people let a dozen years go by and just shrug it off as if it hadn
’t happened?
She wasn’t sure if they did. No matter how good it felt to be together, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to just be Carson’s girl. She’d become so much more since she’d left. She’d become more than Earl Donovan’s daughter. She’d become more than Iva’s granddaughter. She’d become Ruby Donovan, a woman people respected.
She didn’t know if Carson wanted the woman she’d become in his life or if he wanted the girl he’d once known.
Chapter Fourteen
Carson stirred the spaghetti sauce and then leaned to inhale. Yeah, it was good. It was the one thing he knew he could cook and not mess up. Other than something on the grill. As windy as it was, he had vetoed that idea. He glanced at the clock on the stove. Jenna had called with the news that she would be staying with Iva, and Ruby was on her way and he shouldn’t mess it up.
He didn’t know how his sister had managed to convince Ruby to let her stay, but he had a moment when he was proud of her for doing this. The past few years had been rough ones and he’d wondered if his sister would make it.
The doorbell chimed. He turned the sauce to simmer and headed for the front door. When he opened it, Ruby snickered a little. That hadn’t been the reaction he’d expected.
“I’m not sure my self-esteem can take that,” he responded. “People don’t usually laugh when I open the door.”
“Do you usually wear an apron that says Kiss The Cook?”
He looked down, a little bit embarrassed. Lately, with Brandon in the house, he’d done more cooking. He hadn’t given the apron too much thought. It had been a gift from Ben, who had thought it was funny. Carson didn’t agree with his friend’s humor, but he used the apron anyway.
“I guess I hadn’t paid much attention.” He yanked the thing over his head.
She laughed, this time a real laugh, the kind that had her wiping tears from under her eyes. He felt his mouth tilt at the corners, but he pushed the gesture away.
“Something smells good,” she said as he led her through the house to the kitchen.
A Reunion for the Rancher (Lone Star Cowboy League 1) Page 14