Dead are Forgotten

by Morgan Kelley

  “He’ll see you now,” Ginny stated, tucking a pen behind her ear as she worked on the paperwork for her boss.

  Then it hit her.

  He didn’t look good.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. “You look kind of pale, Doctor Leonard, can I get you something?”

  Oh, wasn’t that the truth.

  Being sick was likely why he’d felt like shit lately. Already, he was feeling the effects of HIV.

  As for how he looked…

  He was far from okay, and pale…yeah, likely because he felt like he was going to pass out in about three seconds if he didn’t get this done and over with soon.

  “I’m okay. I just need to see Ethan.”

  “Go on in, Doc.”

  Chris took a deep breath, steadied himself, and prepared to bid his life goodbye. He had to resign his position, and he couldn’t say the words to Elizabeth.

  He couldn’t face her.

  He’d die of a broken heart.

  For years, he promised her he’d never bail on her, and that they’d always be a team. Well, now he had to do it. Chris couldn’t keep it up. While he’d survived losing her and his wife, there was no way he’d survive losing his job.

  He was the job.

  It was all he had left to hold him to this world.

  They were one.

  So, he went in to face the music for his careless mistake.

  Opening the door, he stood there with papers in his one hand, and his medical bag in the other. It was the one thing, other than his memories, that he’d have of his past.

  Since his time was over, he had to escape—and that was exactly what he was doing.

  He was running.

  “Hey, Chris! Are you here for coffee?” Ethan asked, signing papers from a huge stack on his desk. “I can take a few minutes to have some with you.”

  When he didn’t get a reply, Ethan looked up, and he just knew something was wrong.

  The man looked…beaten down.

  “Jesus! Are you okay?” he asked, standing up to comfort his friend, brother, and family.

  Chris had to force the words out through a chest that was locked tight with pain.

  He could barely breathe.

  He could barely speak.

  “No. I’m not.”

  Immediately, Ethan thought worst-case scenario. His wife. Was Elizabeth hurt?

  “Elizabeth?”

  “No.”

  “The kids?”

  “No.”

  “Chris…”

  He held out the first paper. It was the one that delivered the first hit in the one, two, punch.

  Ethan took it and read it.

  Chris watched as he scanned the letter, and he’d read it so much that he knew when he got to the worst part.

  Ethan’s eyes went big, and then he looked up at the man with that look of sympathy.

  Chris knew it was the look he’d get for whatever was left of his life. It was that look that said, ‘you’ve just about expired’.

  It broke his heart.

  “Chris…”

  He had to keep going.

  He had to get this done.

  If Chris stopped now, he’d weep and crumble.

  “Here’s my resignation, Ethan. Here’s my letter,” he said, beads of perspiration coating his brow and lip.

  Jesus!

  He was seriously going to pass out.

  Ethan was appalled that his friend was sick, a man he saw as his brother was dying, and now his employee was handing back twenty years of a career that he’d done with ethics, dignity, and pride.

  “I’m not taking that,” Ethan stated. “I can tell you right now that I’m not accepting your resignation.”

  Chris loved him, in that moment, for that compassion. He needed it, but it didn’t change anything.

  It was done.

  “You have no choice but to accept it, Ethan,” Chris stated. “Lab safety protocol for the FBI states that anyone with a biohazard situation cannot work with tools that can spread it. I have HIV, and I’m a time bomb. I use knives, saws, and blades to do my job. I’m a contamination risk to anyone around me if I get hurt. Plus, if I’m out in the field retrieving a body, and I get shot…”

  That painted an ugly picture, and he knew it.

  Ethan dropped the letter onto his desk, refusing to leave it at that. Chris was more than just a person.

  He was one of them.

  He was theirs.

  So, he tried to cut the crazy off at the pass and headed his way. The man needed a hug.

  He needed love.

  Chris took a step back as soon as he approached him, wanting that contact, but knowing the truth. No one would ever want to touch him again.

  He was ruined.

  Chris was tainted.

  He thought about his daughter, and her little kisses, and how he couldn’t risk Bethe by accepting them. That hurt so damn much, but he WOULDN’T risk her.

  Odds were low, but she needed to be protected, and he wasn’t the man for the job.

  Then he thought about Elizabeth, and how many times she’d offered up a kiss over the last six months, and with each one, he risked her too.

  That was the killing blow.

  His heart…it was bleeding.

  “Chris,” Ethan said, going to wrap his arms around the man to offer him comfort.

  “God! Please don’t touch me,” he whispered.

  This was how Ethan knew Chris was not thinking straight. There was no way he could get HIV from touching him. There was no way he could contract anything from a hug or a kiss.

  Chris was in shock.

  His eyes were dilated.

  His breath was erratic.

  The man was close to passing out.

  “Chris, sit down.”

  He shook his head, knowing that he needed to keep going. If he quit now, he’d cave and weep like a baby. What he needed was to finish this.

  He needed to say goodbye, and he couldn’t do it with Elizabeth. He needed Ethan to do the deed for him.

  Chris only hoped he would.

  “I came to tell you that I’m resigning from the FBI. I’d like for the reason to stay quiet.” He pointed at the letter from the lab. “Please, as my family, and someone I love, please keep that part quiet. Make up anything for me. Let me keep what’s left of my dignity intact. The rumors…”

  “Chris.”

  Ethan understood. The media was spreading that they had some gay love triangle with Elizabeth in the middle. If this got out, his reputation would be tanked. All of theirs would be.

  “I won’t say a word.”

  He needed that.

  “I need you to tell Elizabeth. I can’t…”

  His heart actually hitched as the tears came. Chris had to take a deep breath.

  “I need you to help me tell her. I can’t face her. I can’t let her touch me and mother me. I want to protect her from me,” he whispered.

  Jesus!

  Ethan wanted to puke. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

  His wife…oh, this was going to be bad.

  His intercom buzzed at the worst possible moment. That was the story of their lives. Work always interfered with personal.

  Always.

  “Ginny, this is a bad time.”

  “Sir, Detectives Kane Redwolf and Quinn Gaines are here, and they said the same thing.”

  Well, nothing they had could possible trump what he was handling at this very moment. Sometimes, you had to put family first, and this was that moment.

  “Have them wait. I need a few minutes with Doctor Leonard.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He went back to the nightmare at hand, trying to figure out how he could fix this. He couldn’t save Chris’s health, but he could save the man’s career. He had the power to bend the rules, and for this man…yeah, he would.

  Chris continued, “I need a favor.”

  “Chris…”

  Again, he stopped him.

  “H
ere.”

  He handed Ethan the final paper and waited for him to open it and read it. When he did, his eyes went huge.

  Again.

  “What the hell is this?” he asked.

  Chris didn’t sugarcoat it.

  “That’s my will. I need you to care for Bethe. I need to know she’s safe. I need to know that she’ll have a family when I’m gone.”

  Ethan had that feeling that this was going south. The man was talking like he was dying the next day.

  Well, that wasn’t happening.

  Not on his freaking watch.

  Ethan had to rein this one in, and he needed to get the man to stop, breathe, and think.

  “Chris, you’re not dying tomorrow. This is a little soon, don’t you think?”

  Oh, yes, he was.

  Chris was done.

  He’d hit rock bottom.

  He’d lost everything in his life but Bethe, and he couldn’t force the people he loved to watch him turn into a walking skeleton.

  He was taking control of what time he had left.

  AFTER, and only when, he knew Bethe was safe.

  He’d thought long and hard about his remaining time. His daughter was young, and she didn’t even recall Cyra. If he were to die, his daughter wouldn’t remember him, and that would be for the best.

  Ethan would fill the role of father, and he would make sure she was safe, loved, and do all the things that Chris wouldn’t have time to do.

  He needed to ensure she would be protected and adored as one of Ethan’s own.

  Elizabeth would be her mother.

  Ethan and Callen would love her like a father.

  So, he pressed on, keeping on track.

  “I need to know that all of my ducks are in a row, Ethan. I need to know that my child will have her family. You asked me once what I would do if you, Elizabeth, and Callen died. You asked me if I would man up and take your kids as my own. I said I would because you’re my brother. All I’m asking is for you to do the same.”

  Ethan’s heart skipped.

  This was bad.

  He tried to rationalize with the man.

  “Only, in our scenario, we were dead. You’re not dead, Chris, and you have time.”

  Chris laughed.

  Time.

  It was relative.

  “We both know the minute I found out, the clock began moving twice as fast. I don’t want Bethe to remember me sick and dying. I don’t want her to remember her daddy couldn’t go to the play or see her at the playground. I need you to do this for me, Ethan. I need you to keep your promise. I would have done the same for you.”

  Oh, shit!

  Ethan had that bad feeling.

  He hoped Chris wasn’t going to do anything stupid.

  “Let me call Elizabeth. I’ll tell her, but let me get her here so you can be…”

  Chris cut him off.

  “No. Please. I need some time. I need to figure out some things. Please. I’m asking as your brother. Tell her tonight. Give me today.”

  Ethan was torn.

  “Chris.”

  His intercom buzzed again.

  “GINNY!”

  “It’s me, Ethan. Kane and I need your attention ASAP. It’s about a man named O’Banion. We have a situation.”

  There couldn’t be worse timing.

  Chris.

  O’Banion.

  Shit!

  “It’s okay,” Chris stated. “Kiss her for me, okay? Kiss her and tell her I love her.”

  “Bethe needs you.”

  No.

  She needed a man who would be healthy, who could walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, and be there for her children one day.

  Bethe deserved that. Her poor little life had been a storm already, and this was for the best.

  So, he deflected.

  “I meant Elizabeth. I need some time to digest this. I need a few hours…”

  “Okay. I’ll give you some time.”

  Chris looked relieved.

  With that, he took off the feather necklace that Ethan had given him, and he placed it on the man’s mahogany desk.

  “Thank you for everything. I wasn’t blessed with a brother born to me, but I was blessed with two men who were so much more than just blood. Thank you for the last few months. Thank you for making me feel like I was safe and belonged. I know I was the fourth wheel, but it made all the difference in my life.”

  “Chris…”

  He wanted to hug Ethan, but he knew he shouldn’t. He’d already risked them all. He thought back to all the things he’d done that could have gotten them sick.

  There was the football game they’d played where he got a bloody nose and Ethan held the shirt to his face.

  He’d risked him.

  There was the time they were away, and Chris borrowed Elizabeth’s razor when he left his at home. He’d nicked his face, and she used it afterward.

  Then, they seemed like nothing.

  Now…

  He’d risked his family.

  “Thank you, Ethan,” he said, heading toward the door to make his escape.

  Then he was gone.

  Ethan wanted to chase him as he left, and he wanted to call Elizabeth, but he’d promised to give him some time. Besides, as soon as his door was opened, and Chris was gone, the two cops outside his door rushed in, cut him off, and closed the door.

  “This is really a bad time,” Ethan stated. “I have to handle something personal…”

  They cut him off by handing Ethan Blackhawk the note in the evidence bag.

  Jesus!

  What was this?

  The day of notes?

  Reading it, Blackhawk saw why they needed to talk to him. It looked like his day just got a million times worse, and here was the shitty proof.

  “Is O’Banion dead?” Quinton Gaines asked him, hoping the man wouldn’t lie to them.

  He sighed.

  It looked like the cat was out of the bag.

  “Have a seat, gentlemen. I have a story to tell you. It goes back over a decade, and begins with my wife.”

  And then he told them one hell of a tale.

  Ironically, one that began with not only Elizabeth but the man who’d just left.

  Fate.

  Oh, the freaking irony.

  She was a crazy bitch.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Violent Crimes Unit

  Hoover Building

  Okay, it was safe to say she was three days past obsessed with the whole O’Banion thing. With each day, it only got worse.

  She was focused on him.

  She dreamed of catching him.

  Every waking moment was about him.

  It had become her mission in life to find him and take care of the few loose ends that were ten-plus years in the making. The man may have made a deal with the government to avoid justice, but she was going to make sure he paid.

  He was involved with that grave.

  While he’d said he wasn’t, she was going to find that link and lock him down. He may have made a deal with the federal devils, but he didn’t make a deal with her.

  Old grudges were there, and she was going to find a way to make him pay.

  Yes, it was about justice, peppered with some payback for those years ago. He killed so many people, by using Joey ‘The Thug’ and Carl ‘The Knife’.

  Now it was about him.

  Elizabeth was desperate to get her hands on him, but as of that moment, nothing was working. She’d been obsessed for weeks. It had become her mission.

  Callen’s too.

  They were hell-bent on finding him, so they could wrap this up, get married, and have their honeymoon.

  Only, it wasn’t looking good from their perspectives.

  At this rate, there might not be a honeymoon.

  Or wedding.

  “Anything?” she asked her husband at the desk beside her. He was intently working on something on his laptop.

  It w
as nice to have him that close.

  She owed that to her other husband. Ethan had finally gotten tired of them sitting at a conference room table and had their desks brought in for them out of their old offices.

  Callen laughed.

  It wasn’t a good one either—she could tell.

  “It’s going that well, huh?”

  “Oh, you can say that,” he offered. “Here’s the issue. We are totally being cockblocked by the US Marshals. It’s like that one date we want, and they won’t even let us buy her a drink. They are all over this.”

  She lifted her brow.

  That was the analogy he was going to go with for the case? Was he insane? In the workplace?

  “Really, Callen James?”

  He grinned wickedly.

  “I couldn’t help myself. There are days I get it from being near you. This is one of those days.”

  She snorted.

  “Yeah, this was my fault,” she said, amused by that. She had news for Callen. He could be all wrong all by himself. He’d proved it time and time again.

  “I did achieve something, and you might find that interesting,” Callen offered.

  That had her attention.

  “What?”

  “I finished the deal for my next book. I know it’s not O’Banion, but it’ll keep us in cowboy boots and bullets,” he teased, pointing at the new ones he’d bought her. After the last case, and a plunge into a fountain at Harvard, they were beyond saving.

  These had more ravens on them and were accented with the same blue of her eyes.

  “Well, for that, I’m grateful,” she said, running her fingers over his tan cheek. “You know how I love bullets and boots.”

  Yes, he was aware.

  Still, Elizabeth knew she was a shitty wife. For the last few weeks, she’d been so focused on finding O’Banion that everything else had fallen away.

  His other career.

  Most of their kid issues.

  Even Ethan.

  Yeah, she sucked.

  “Callen James, I’m sorry I’m a bad wife.”

  He leaned over and gave her a kiss. It was sweet, gentle, and loving—much like the man himself.

  She was a lucky woman.

  “Oh, you were a very bad wife this morning. I like when you’re naughty.”

  She smiled at him, and his heart actually skipped in his chest. Callen loved when his wife was herself. There was something so amazing about her beautiful soul.