“I recall you leaving a note.”
“Did you ever read it?” Callen asked.
Ethan had it still. It was in his safe and it was unopened. Until now, he’d forgotten about it. Every time he saw it, he was ashamed of his behavior and couldn’t bring himself to read it.
“No.”
Callen’s eyes said it all.
That sadness was there.
“I guess it’s for the best that you didn’t. Don’t bother. Just toss it. There’s no point dredging up the past.”
Ethan hated that he’d hurt Callen. If he could go back in time and talk to himself, it would have been different. He would have hugged him, brought him into his home and made him dinner. Ethan would have apologized, and asked his brother to stay with him.
Ethan, now, was a totally different person than Ethan back then. He was trying to prove himself when he was younger. Now he was just trying to stay in the present and love his family.
“I’m sorry for that day. I’m sorry for the man I was then, and that I couldn’t bridge that gap between us, Cal. I was in a bad place in my life. I was a horrible person.”
It didn’t matter.
Callen had to let that go.
“It’s okay, Ethan,” he said. “I forgave you a long time ago. I’m just glad I got you back. I’m glad we’re solid. This was more than I ever thought I’d have, and I’m blessed.”
Ethan was too.
“Anyway,” Callen said, “I left your place with a hole in me. I showed up here, and Gabe asked me to do some file reviews for one of his agents. I was placed at this desk. Everywhere I looked, there were sarcastic notes. She placed them in her desk, on her lamp, and in the files.”
He laughed.
“That sounds like her.”
“She saved me that day. When I was going to leave, I left her that necklace. Timothy…he sent me with it and told me that it was a good idea to leave a gift for hospitality.”
Ethan wasn’t surprised.
Once more, the old man had been part of it.
“He knew. He was putting all of us on that path, Cal. The Shaman had his fingers in the pie, and he was working his Native mojo from afar.”
He was aware.
Only, there was more.
“Gabe asked me to stay. He told me that the woman who owned the desk was single and that we should meet.”
And there it was.
Ethan knew what that meant.
“She could have been yours. Again, fate gave us a chance to flip it, and Elizabeth was almost yours before mine.”
He was aware.
“She saved me that day, and I know even more now that this is the path we’re all supposed to be on. History repeats, but fate drives that bus.”
He was right.
“Are you happy?” Ethan asked. “I mean, not being Jackson James and loaded, but are you happy with us?”
Callen smiled.
Was he happy?
God!
He was ecstatic.
“I have never been happier than I am at this moment in my life. I have a husband I love, a wife I cherish, and a tribe of unruly kids who give me great joy. I would relive all of that all over again to just have this moment.”
He was glad.
Ethan was happy too.
Only, they had to focus on work.
Ethan pulled two files.
“Back to the crazy. I have two agents who were involved on that day long ago. Both are still with the FBI. One is in the cyber terrorism department, and one is in human resources as a recruiter for the FBI.”
“And you think they’ll help?”
“I’m not sure, but I think that logically, we need everyone who worked that case. Detective Max Bronson is dead, but his son has more to lose than any of us.”
Callen agreed.
“Maximus Chase has more skin in the game, and he will want this handled. Who better to offer the chance to get justice for his old man?”
He had a point.
“What can I do?” Callen stated.
“I need you to get the team organized. I have to deal with a shit ton of Gabe’s mess when it comes to organizing how to get O’Banion in here. We can’t just pull him in. He’s supposed to be off the grid.”
He got it.
This was going to be tricky.
“Plus, the team is going to be fractured on this one. Tony is going to have to move fast on those bodies. We’re going to have to ID—and that means we have to give them a face. O’Banion, according to the file Gabe has, denies ever knowing who they were, and Elizabeth needs their names to tie them to him.”
“Well, we know that’s a lie. There’s no way he knows nothing about it. O’Banion is a snake. They shed their skin, but they don’t change.”
Oh, he was aware.
“So, we’ll use Tony and Blue. I’d love to see if we can get Jaxon in here too. I know she’s pregnant, but she can sit and give them faces. She can give them markers and Blue can draw them. The quicker we get them tied to O’Banion...”
“The quicker he can go to trial?” Callen asked.
Ethan nodded.
That was their goal.
Only, he knew one thing.
Michael O’Banion was a bad guy, and he was going to make one hell of a mess. If they let him get on the stand, the man would then choose to sing like a canary.
Against the FBI.
Against Gabe Rothschild.
And against Elizabeth, even though she wasn’t involved.
That wouldn’t be good for any of them, and for him…
The odds of living…
They were not in his favor.
Blackhawk could already see it coming.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Blue rode beside him in the truck, and she didn’t say much. She was feeding off of Ivan’s energy, and it wasn’t good. He was tense.
When he was worked up, he’d grip the steering wheel of his ride and white-knuckle it.
He was doing that again. The man was ready to blow, only she had no idea why.
“Did I do something?” she finally asked, wishing he’d just tell her what was wrong. Blue was bad at things like this, and he knew it too.
“No.”
It was tersely said.
“I’m canceling tomorrow. I’m going to call my parents and tell them don’t show up.”
“Why?” he asked, glancing over.
“When we were away, you were a different person. You smiled, you didn’t feel angry, and now we’re back. The the only thing that’s changed is you having to meet them.”
Well, she’d nailed that.
Ivan wasn’t surprised. Blue was smart.
“You don’t want to meet them, and I can see that. It’s upsetting you.”
“Blue.”
“It’s okay, Ivan. You’re off the hook. I won’t ever pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do,” she offered. “This is clearly out of your wheelhouse. Meeting my parents isn’t something you’re comfortable with, and I can see that.”
He hated that it was hard for him. He dreaded what they’d say. If he could put it off, maybe he could get more time with Blue, and lock her down. If she loved him more…
Yeah, it was silly.
“You’re freaked out, and that’s a bad sign.”
This just wasn’t his thing. Ivan was invisible for a reason. His life wasn’t social gatherings, parties, or meeting wealthy people. Ivan was meant to follow, protect, and blend. Those were the kind of people she wasn’t accustomed to in her life.
They were from different worlds.
Besides, her parents held their future in their hands.
“I’m sorry,” he offered.
She pulled out her phone. “It’s fine, Ivan. I get it. Don’t worry about it.”
The tone said it all.
Oh, he knew he was screwed.
Fine was NEVER a good word when a woman used it. He’d seen Elizabeth use it a few times, and it made both Etha
n and Callen scramble for their lives—and with good reason. It was cataclysmic when it came to a woman using it.
Fine equaled anything but.
“I don’t want to fight,” he offered.
She glanced over, and there were tears in her eyes as she sent the text message to her parents that he wouldn’t be joining them.
It hurt, but she’d do it for him.
“I’m not fighting, Ivan. You don’t want to do it, and I’m never going to force you.”
“But you’re mad.”
“No, I’m not angry. I will say that it hurts me that I went with you for two weeks, stayed in your parents’ home, and had to overcome my fears. It was hard and scary, but ultimately, I found that I love your parents.”
“Well, they are easy going.”
She stared at him.
“Yes, but you won’t even try to see that while my parents are nuts, they are part of me, and they matter. My mother is very easy going. She’s a wonderful person. My father, while an ass at times, saves lives, and he’s a good person beneath it.”
He was feeling worse by the minute.
She was absolutely right.
“They made me, and you getting grumpy over it is like saying I don’t like that part of you. There’s a part of me you don’t like, and that hurts. I love all of you.”
He pulled into the parking lot and knew he was screwed if he didn’t get this under control.
He parked and then faced her.
“Blue.”
She unbuckled her seatbelt and wouldn’t look him in the eyes.
She couldn’t.
If she did, Blue knew she’d burst into tears and weep. That was the last thing she wanted.
“Thanks for the ride, Ivan. I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m going to likely be working late.”
That said it all.
This was bad.
Real.
Damn.
Bad.
Ivan couldn’t help but feel like he was losing the woman he loved because he was afraid of losing the woman he loved.
Oh, the irony.
This was one big circle jerk, and he was the center of it.
“Bluebell, wait!”
She didn’t.
With that, Blue got out and walked across the parking lot. Ivan could feel his whole life crumbling all over again. He wanted to face her parents.
Only, once more, his past…it was making him a mess.
Turning off the engine, he got out and grabbed his gear. Elizabeth had to be around. He’d go bother her and babysit the rest of the day.
Maybe that would help.
Ivan needed to get his mind off Blue.
And how he’d been an asshole.
Again.
It was the story of his life.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Across Town
When he got the call, it was his apprentice. He was pleased to hear from him.
“Did I do good?” he asked. “Did I do it just the way you wanted me to?”
He laughed.
Good?
The man had excelled.
“Oh, you did an amazing job. Are you up for another one tonight?” he asked. “I have the next one planned if you want to have some fun.”
There was a pause.
“Is it too soon? I don’t want to draw attention.”
The man found that amusing.
This pawn had no clue. It was all about revenge. He’d been screwed over, and attention was exactly what he wanted.
“Are you chickening out?”
“I don’t want to fuck this up.”
The man laughed.
Oh, he was driving this bus.
This would only go right. This was his thing.
“Don’t worry. I have it all planned. I want you to take tonight off. We’ll move tomorrow. We’ll take the next one then. I don’t want you to feel rushed. When you’re using that blade, you have to be precise. It’s not something to screw around with. Do you need me to come?” he asked.
The apprentice was relieved.
“I think I have this.”
He didn’t doubt that.
“Good. This is our practice list, and we’ll really handle it once we get this over with,” he stated.
“I like killing.”
Oh, he was aware.
That was exactly why he’d been picked. This man was damaged goods. Once he saw that, he knew that he would be able to do anything. The first victim was the proof.
He’d been a rock star.
And soon, he’d be his weapon of revenge—even if he never really knew why.
Revenge was sweet.
Being in a cage taught him that.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Chris Leonard’s
Brownstone
She wanted to be sick as she watched him laying at the bottom of the shower. Heading into the spray, she saw the bottle of vodka on its side and the gun beside him.
Elizabeth began crying as she stared down at him. Dropping to her knees, she touched him.
He was still warm.
And he stirred.
“Don’t touch me,” he slurred, trying to sit up and move away from her.
In that moment, Elizabeth realized how lucky they were. Chris was shit-faced drunk, but not dead. She’d gotten there in time.
They had time.
She grabbed the gun, unloaded it, and tucked the magazine into the back pocket of her jeans as they both got soaked in his large tiled shower.
Elizabeth was grateful that she hadn’t been too late. Ten more minutes…
Yeah, this would have been different.
“Go away,” he muttered, trying to move away from her. “Please go away. You can’t be here,” he slurred. “You can’t watch this.”
God!
She wanted to kick his ass and then mother the hell out of him for this.
Right now, she’d stay calm.
For him.
“Christopher,” she said, pulling him into her body by his wet, soaked clothes.
It took everything she had to drag him to her, but she pulled it off. The water was so damn chilly—likely from running for a long time, so she turned it off. Leaning against the back of the shower, she held him against her body as he began to shake.
“I’m dying,” he whispered. “Let me go.”
Elizabeth fought harder by hugging him.
“I’m never going to let you go! You’re mine, Christopher. I can’t let you leave me. I’ll hold you here,” she said, whispering in his ear.
He sobbed at her words.
“You can’t leave me, Christopher. GOD! You can’t leave me! You promised.”
Everything was fuzzy.
He was drunk, cold, and angry at himself. When he’d climbed into the shower, clothed, he’d kept drinking to numb his fear.
Only, it did the opposite.
He began thinking about her.
Chris was focused on the woman holding him in her arms. She’d been there with him in his mind, and he couldn’t pull the trigger.
“I have you now,” she said. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Everything else went out the window.
O’Banion.
The FBI clusterfuck.
EVERYTHING.
Now she had to be in the present for the man against her. Chris needed her, and she couldn’t fail. Everything was riding on this.
“You can’t leave me,” she said, locking her body around his as if that would keep him there. “You can’t do this to me!”
He was dizzy.
Sick.
A mess.
“I’ve lost everything. You, Cyra, my health, my job, and I want to die.”
Well, she had news for him.
She wouldn’t let him.
“I need you, Chris. I need you to fight and stay with me. Please don’t do this. I love you so much. I’ve always loved you, Newton.”
He wept as sh
e held him.
“Shhhhh, I have you. I have you, darling. This will be okay. I promise this will all work out.”
He couldn’t imagine how, but he had nothing else to lose. He was a dead man walking.
He tried to pull away, and she fought him.
“NO! Stay,” she whispered, leaving kisses on his forehead and face. “You have to stay with me. I can’t do this,” she whispered. “If you leave me, I can’t do this.”
Chris stayed against her. His whole body hurt from this bender.
“I have nothing left. It’s all gone. My life is a series of mistakes. I cheated on you and lost you. I went to work that day and Cyra died. I cut my finger and I infected myself with HIV. I’m a disaster.”
She comforted him as he leaned against her. She was sopping wet from her blazer to the cowboy boots. Her gun was even wet and badge too.
“You can’t end your life, Christopher. You’ll damage so many of us. I need you to fight this. I get why you want to go, but I can’t let you. I have to make you stay.”
He rested his head on her chest and focused on her hands moving up and down his back.
“I’m not strong like you, Elizabeth. I’ve never been strong,” he whispered. “You were the only thing keeping me going, and I lost you. I hurt you so much. Why don’t you hate me? You should hate me. You should want me to die. Why don’t you?”
His words hurt her.
She could never hate him.
“Christopher, I can’t hate you because you were my first real relationship and the one who taught me how to love. I learned everything from you. Please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without my brother and best friend. For all those years, in my heart, you were my husband. I needed you then and I need you now.”
He was sick.
God!
The world hated him.
The universe hated him.
“Please, darling, please fight for me. Please stay with me. I’ll hold you up. I’ll keep you afloat. You’re still strong.”
He began gagging, and she leaned him over her, so he could vomit, and he did.
Chris puked up all the booze he’d nearly killed himself with, and she didn’t move until he was finished.
“I’m sorry you’re burdened with me. You don’t deserve this.”
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