by Vi Carter
He doesn’t seem put out at all by my response. “Okay, I will make it quick. I believe you were found with Alex today.”
I gape at him, wondering where this is going. I want to tell him I already received my punishment.
“You should keep away from all males.”
I force a smile. “Great, does that include Lucas?”
His nostrils flair. “It’s Master Lucas and of course not.”
My cheeks burn. I need to control my mouth. What is wrong with me? “I apologize. Of course, I didn’t really mean Master Lucas, but Alex was in the garden and we just said hello to each other.”
“Take the warning Ella.” He finishes before giving me a curt nod and closing the door. I’m left feeling confused and staring at the door again.
***
Sometimes the morning time brings more clarity and I often wake up with a new lease on life. Not this morning. Everything feels dimmer. I had woken up hoping I would be in my own bed, not in this nightmare. I want to return to the days that I spent blissfully daydreaming about Lucas.
I throw the covers off me and climb out of bed. The soft pink nightdress is cool against my hot skin. There is a lot of commotion outside my room. Opening the door, I see three girls chattering. They turn to me and all talk ceases.
Sandra smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Her blond hair is in a messy bun, but she still looks stunning, her blue eyes narrow at me.
“I hear you stole the first date with, Master Lucas.”
First date? Is that the lie he had spread? I had no idea what to say.
The tallest girl steps forward. Vicky, I remember now. The one who declared that she was going to sleep with him first.
“Did you do it with him? You know have sex?”
“Absolutely not.” I grind out.
She smirks. “I know we can’t go the whole way, but we can do other things.” She winks.
I shiver.
The thoughts of Lucas putting his hands on me sends a shiver racing through my body. I hate how my skin burns.
“Look, she’s going red,” Vicky points at me like I’m a zoo exhibit.
“Leave her alone.” Jessie looks like she stepped out of a magazine promoting morning wear.
“I better get dressed.” I leave them knowing I shouldn’t be speaking to any of them, anyway.
As I step into the shower I think that maybe having friends would be allowed now since I am no longer fighting for Master Lucas’s hand. Maybe once I explained to my mother what a brute he is, she would understand.
I finally get that feeling as I step out of the shower, a new lease of life. A new purpose.
Ninety percent of my clothes are dresses, which I had thought enchanting, now they all look stupid, like a girl playing dress up. My mother forbids trousers so I pick up a long black full-length skirt and a green shirt. “The same color as your eyes.” I mimic my mother’s voice as I put it on.
God, I couldn’t wait to get away from her. Guilt churns in my stomach. Now, all I want is to hear her voice. I swallow as I let my black hair fall down my back. Minimal makeup and I’m ready to go downstairs.
I check to make sure my room is tidy. I know we have maids to clean our rooms, but at home my mother always made me keep my space clean. She always told me no matter what, never leave the house without making your bed.
My mother swore it helped your brain function better for the day and also taught you self-discipline.
My brain obviously wasn’t running on full steam yet. I didn’t notice Lucas standing outside my room.
“How did you sleep?” My heart gallops and I turn gawking at him like he just stepped out of the wall.
He takes a step towards me and I’m searching the landing for the other girls but the area is empty.
I’m flustered as I stare at him, he is dangerously gorgeous. Once again he wears all black and with inky hair and dark eyes, I know I should run. I lock my knees and raise my chin. Hoping my fear isn’t showing.
“Fantastic,” I lie.
He smirks and steps closer. I want to run, but I force myself to hold still.
“You look nervous.” He comes closer now and I keep my hands clenched behind my back so he can’t see the tremble in them.
“No,” I say quickly.
His smirk widens. “Now, now, Ella, you can’t lie. I told you that already.” He’s reached me now and I flinch as he takes my chin in his hand. “Your eyes tell me what you feel.”
Oh God, I tighten my legs so I don’t fall down.
“Good.” I fake a smile and hope he can read my eyes now as I force as much hate into them as I can.
His laughter has me flinching again. My heart races faster.
“Can I go?” I bite out each word.
His smile dies on his face and my stomach hollows as he releases my chin.
I’ve angered him, his eyes grow darker. “You need to remember who you are speaking to.”
I grit my teeth. “Yes, Master Lucas.”
His smirk is back. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
My heart is in my throat as I stare at him. “No, Master Lucas.” I hope the sarcasm doesn’t fill my words.
“Now you are overdoing it, Ella.” His smirk is still present so I haven’t pissed him off completely.
Footsteps have me looking away from Lucas and towards someone who looks just like him. I quickly look back to Lucas to see his jaw clenched. Turning back to the one who looks just like Lucas, I can’t stop staring. The difference is this one has glasses and a smaller frame, but he is no doubt related to Lucas. He glares at Lucas as he quickly moves down the stairs, Lucas moves past me swiftly and follows, leaving me feeling weak.
It takes me another few moments before I’m able to go downstairs. All the girls are sitting at a large dining table. It runs the full length of the room. They are all seated at the end that’s positioned half in a conservatory that captures all the sun that shines today. The room smells of maple syrup and pancakes. I’m the last one to arrive and feel anxious as I approach the table. Hannah looks up and smiles at me. She’s wearing a red top that’s the same color as her hair. It makes her stand out.
“I saved you a seat.” She pats the seat beside her and I hesitate. I notice Sandra is watching me, her eyes calculating. I force a smile and sit down beside Hannah.
“Thank you, Hannah.”
Her smile widens, her white teeth a flash against her plump red lips.
“What are friends for? Ella, who isn’t Bella.” She chews on her lips like she can’t contain her excitement.
Once I’m seated, I don’t get a menu. One of the servers places a full plate of pancakes covered in icing sugar and strawberries in front of me.
“Tea or coffee?”
“Tea please.” I glance at the server over my shoulder and she nods.
“So Ella, you have been keeping very tight-lipped about your date with Master Lucas.”
I cut my pancake before looking up at Sandra. “It wasn’t a date.”
“Oh, I heard it was.” Vicky is seated beside Sandra. Two peas in a pod.
“You heard wrong, Vicky.”
I return to my food.
“I was there with Sandra and Mary when you arrived back from your date. I saw him kiss you on the cheek.” Bernie speaks from the end of the table. I have to lean in to see her. Mary is bobbing her head in agreement.
I tighten my legs as I think about what I had been doing. Something outside the conservatory catches my eye. It’s Alex, he is walking along the window. He is wearing another top hat, this one is purple, the same as his suit. He looks just like the character from the old Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he has a black stick that has a gold ball on the top. He twirls the stick in his hands.
Alex looks up, I don’t know why, he couldn’t possibly know I was looking at him. He smiles, his eyes meeting mine. I don’t return his smile, I still don’t understand why he didn’t do anything yesterday.
Hannah’s e
lbow digs into my side and when I look away from Alex and to her, she widens her eyes. “Are you okay?”
I glance at all the girls who are watching me. Like there is something wrong with me.
“Yes.” I cut the pancake with no intention of eating it, my appetite is gone.
“You look so pale.” Hannah moves her head closer to me. Her worry seems genuine. But it’s hard to know in this place. A lump forms in my throat. It’s all too much.
“Excuse me.” I stand up after excusing myself and make my way across the room feeling all eyes on me.
“She’s just an attention seeker.” Vicky’s voice follows me and I walk faster with my head down just wanting to be away from them. I want to be away from this place.
Someone clears their throat ahead of me and I stop, nearly walking into Mark.
“If you could please take your seat, Miss O’Leary.” Now it is Miss O’Leary. I’m staring at Mark, just asking him for a break without asking.
“Miss O’Leary. Take a seat.” He re-words his sentence, like I might understand it better. I turn on my heel and make my way back to the table. I try not to look at Vicky, I can feel her joy at me being told to go back. I sit down and once I do, Mark addresses us all.
“I have some fantastic news. The first ball will be held tonight.”
A squeal of excitement sounds around the table.
“Game on, girls.” Vicky grins at everyone, like she has it in the bag.
I give a very unladylike snort and get everyone’s attention again.
“You think he’s yours?” Vicky challenges me.
I’ve had enough. Everything in me tightens and grinds to a halt. I snap. I can feel the burn traveling along my chest and up my neck. “He’s all yours. Trust me, I don’t want him.” My words come out louder than I intended.
I glance at Hannah, who looks as white as a ghost. Now that I think about it, all the girls do. The silence in the room could only mean one thing. I turn slowly to where everyone’s eyes keep flickering and meet a very dark pair of breath-taking eyes.
Lucas is staring at me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LUCAS
I soak up Ella’s fear. I don’t blink as she swallows. Her mouth opens and closes. It’s a perfect mouth, pouty, kissable.
When her lids flutter closed, cutting me off from her wide eyes, I glance at the other girls. As my eyes touch each of them they seem to sink back further into their chairs. Turning on my heel, I walk out of the room at a leisurely pace as I grapple for control of my emotions.
No one had ever refused me. That’s what I did best. Shutting people down, Ella’s words were filled with a venom I wasn’t used to. People may think bad things but to announce them out so brazenly isn’t very nice at all.
“Close the door.” A cold chill runs down my spine at my father’s words. I meet his dark eyes briefly before closing the study door behind me.
I try to reel in my confusion and fear at his arrival. “I wasn’t aware you would be home so soon. If I had known…” I trail off and let him fill in the blanks. I would have welcomed you. I would have tried harder to clean up the mess with Declan. I would have run a fucking mile.
“You left me no choice.” My father leans against my desk, his eyes darting from the mail on my desk to me.
“Declan was killed by someone we know and his finger cut off. You didn’t think I needed to know that.”
I finally let the air trickle back into my body, it’s like defrosting. I take a step towards my desk. “Clearly I didn’t need to tell you since you already know.”
His finger jabs the envelopes. “I wanted to hear it from you.” My father doesn’t raise his voice, he doesn’t need to.
“Yes sir.” I grab for more control over my emotions and sit down in my desk chair.
He stares at me, I’m waiting for him to pounce. He pushes off my desk and moves around my study like he hasn’t stood in it a million times. It once was his as a young man.
“Tell me your thoughts.”
With him not looking at me, I can finally gather my thoughts. I wasn’t going to point out that I thought Henry did it. He would brush it off. I don’t think it is love he has for Henry. It’s hard to explain. He is like a pet you keep hidden but secretly like it.
“It must be a member.”
He takes a snap look at me before turning back to the bookcase. “Which one?”
“Aine.” I state.
His eyes look murky as he stares at me and I have no idea what he’s thinking.
He nods his head. “Female, small, friendly. No one would suspect her.”
“But why?” He stops now and faces me.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. It isn’t Aine. It didn’t make sense to me.
“Thirty years ago we had a member die.”
This knowledge is fed to me with his back turned once again.
“The same way?”
“Yes.” My father folds his arms across his chest. His black suit makes him look formidable. He isn’t someone you disobeyed. That’s why he leads all of us.
“Did you find out who was responsible?”
I can see the trouble rising to the surface in his murky eyes. “No.”
I raise both eyebrows and sit forward. “You think the person that did this also killed thirty years ago?”
If that is the case it ruled Henry out.
“We will have to look into it more.”
“Who was the member who died?”
My father stares at me longer than necessary. “Why?”
“There might be a connection.”
“There isn’t.” His answer is abrupt, but I know better than to ask any more questions.
“I hear you are changing the way our punishment system works.” I swear I see a smile in my father’s eyes. The only person who must be feeding him information is Brendan.
“I think it’s time for a change,” I say carefully.
My father stares at me again before unfolding his arms. “I don’t want anyone to know I’m back.”
I nod.
“Meet me in the sheds, I want to show you something.” My father turns and I’m waiting for him to leave through the door, only he pushes in a panel along the wall. I feel the breeze as a secret door that I am not aware of opens. He walks through it without looking back at me.
Leaving the study. Two of the girls are in the hall, they don’t giggle when they see me. They are wary and that’s good.
The gravel crunches under my shoes as I walk out back to the sheds. The shed is used mostly for storage of my father’s collection of vintage cars. It was always off limits and something was telling me I was about to find out the real reason I was never allowed in without my father's permission.
I open the small door that’s in the bigger one on the shed. I step in and search for my father. I’m waiting for someone to scream at me. I had never been in here unless he was with me. I spot him at the back of the shed. His eyes clash with mine.
Closing the door behind me, I don’t speak as I walk to him, but before I reach him, he walks off to the left and descends down a set of concrete steps. I follow him and when my father glances back at me, there is a dark glint in his eyes.
I have so many questions but I wisely keep them to myself as we stand in a corridor. A large wooden door to our left is our destination. My father opens the door and I pause while swallowing around a lump that forms in my throat.
“Come in.” The command has me passing the threshold as my father closes the door behind me.
Once again I don’t ask any questions. A man is strung up by his hands. His naked torso is painted in splashes of purple and black. My father puts a pair of leather gloves on. The man’s wild eyes flicker from me and my father. He starts to shout only to have his words jumbled from the cloth in his mouth.
“This may seem barbaric to you, but sometimes it takes this.” He points at the man who tries to push his swinging body closer to my father. His arms look extrem
ely long, like they might be dislocated. “To make a point.” He finishes.
My stomach tightens. My father turns away from me and hits the man repeatedly in the ribs. The man cries out in pain. When my father stops, he’s breathless.
“Do you remember when you were a child and your dog died?” A cruel smile crosses my father's face. How could I forget?
“Yes,” I speak my first word. The man whimpers in pain, but I focus on my father.
“You wouldn’t stop crying. It was … irritating.”
I tighten my fists, wanting to drive them into his face. How could I forget that day? I had let my guard down, allowed my emotions to spill over, only to have him laugh at me.
“What did I tell you that day?”
“To turn it off.”
He nods like a proud father. “Exactly. Now turn it off and hit him.” He points at the man who still whimpers in pain.
I’ve never disobeyed my father before. I glance at him. “I've got a punching bag in the house,” I answer.
The look in my father's eyes is murderous, he takes a step towards me.
“Turn it off.”
“I can’t.”
“You're weak.” The taunt comes with another cruel smile. “He’s a drug dealer, infecting people, tearing down our youth. Does he not deserve to die?”
I’m picturing my emotions like he taught me. A swirl of colors for each thing I feel. I grab them all but leave red and black swirling inside me. Taking the rest, I push them into a box and lock it.
Hate and Anger fill me up.
Anger trickles into my veins and I clench my fists. I take a step towards the man and he tries to swing away but like my punch bag, he will swing forward.
I don’t hold back.
***
Under the instructions of my father, I wear gloves to the ball. I tore my knuckles nearly down to the bone. They ache, but I use the pain as a crutch to carry me through tonight.
As I enter the room full of people, I know all the ladies will be to my right. My eyes immediately seek out Ella. She is wearing another emerald dress only this one is to the floor; it catches her in all the right places. Wild wide eyes stare back at me and I give her a cold smile. With her black hair swept back off her face, she can’t hide from me.