“I don’t know. Every day is a gift. He’s still strong. He’s got a lot of life in him. I can’t give you a time frame.”
“You went with him to the oncologist.”
Shit. She hadn’t acted like she knew about Kaden’s appointment. “The doctors don’t know.”
She turned her head and looked him in the eye. “I know he made you promise not to tell me. That’s something he’d do. But I need to know, Seth. I need an idea.”
He shrugged. “They don’t know. At least several months if there’s no drastic decline.”
“After Christmas?”
He nodded. “Hopefully. At this rate, most likely well after Christmas.”
She nodded and wiped her face with her good hand. “Okay. That’s good enough for me for now.” She fell silent again for a few minutes. “Thank you for taking pictures. I appreciate that.”
“I didn’t know you were paying attention.”
She smiled. “I see more than you think I do.” Her smile faded. “I keep trying not to think about it. That it’s probably his last Christmas. But it’s hard not to.”
“I know.”
“He wants you to go to the club alone with me before we get crazy with the holiday stuff.”
That was news to Seth. He fought a brief moment of panic. “What?”
“You’re ready.”
“Like hell I am.”
“He didn’t tell me exactly why, but I know.” She took a deep breath, more tears flowing. “He wants it to happen so he can help us work on it more if we need him. Before he starts to get really sick. He said it was because of the parties and lights and stuff, but he’s not fooling me. I know he’s trying to take it easy on me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No. It doesn’t hurt so much to think about it tonight because I’m in a lot of pain already.”
Ahh. That explained it. “The drugs help, too, I’m sure.”
She weakly smiled. “A little.”
“Listen, I catch you trying to doctor shop to get scripts, I’ll freaking tie you up and not let you come for a month.”
Her eyes widened, then she laughed, long and hard.
Well, he’d finally managed to make her laugh for the day.
She was still crying, but at least she smiled. “Thank you, Seth.”
She finally fell asleep. Once she was softly snoring in his lap, he carried her to his bedroom and gently tucked her into his bed. He cleaned up their dinner dishes and turned out all the lights. Turning on his TV, he set the sleep timer, then curled around her and gently kissed her forehead.
“I promise, I’ll take care of you. We’ll get through it, babe.”
It took him a long time to finally get to sleep, the memory of her tears fresh in his mind.
* * * *
She was still sound asleep at seven the next morning. He carefully extricated himself from her arms. In sleep she had rolled over and cuddled tightly against him, practically clinging to his side. He started coffee and checked his cell phone, no calls from Kade. He knew Kade’s flight was at eleven and his friend would already be awake.
“She still asleep?” Kaden asked.
“Yep. Dead to the world.”
“Good. The irony is, perhaps it’s for the best she did this.”
“I told you, it was a freaking accident.”
“I know. I believe it was, too. I’m not saying I’m happy she got hurt. In the grand scheme of things, it’ll probably help her.”
Seth didn’t know if he wanted to fess up about their conversation. That could wait until Kade returned. “How do I convince her to just sit and chill out today and let me take care of her?”
“Sit and talk. Play your guitar for her. Tell her what would make you happy for today is to spoil her rotten.”
Well, that was the truth. She already took damn good care of him. It didn’t matter that both Kade and Leah thought they owed Seth for doing this. Seth felt he owed them.
He scrambled himself some eggs and frequently walked down the hall to look in on Leah. Still zonked. He suspected it probably wasn’t just the meds but the accumulated stress and grief taking its toll. It was good she could rest.
Now with Kaden’s trip out of the way, he would spend most of his time at the house. Still some work to clear up, he’d explained, but what he had left, he could mostly do from home.
A little before eleven Seth grabbed his laptop and started back to the bedroom to sit with Leah when the house phone rang.
“Shit.” He raced for it, hoping it wouldn’t wake Leah.
“Kaden?” the woman asked.
Aw, fuck. He knew that voice. Kaden’s younger sister.
“No, Denise, it’s Seth.” He wished he’d let it go to voicemail.
The frost in her voice would have comfortably air-conditioned the entire house, even with every last freaking window open. “What are you doing answering their phone?”
Denise had never liked Seth, even as kids. The feeling was mutual. Kaden hadn’t broken the news to his family yet about him dying, hadn’t told them about Seth living there either. He wanted to wait until after the holidays, if possible.
“Kaden’s out of town. He’s coming back tonight.” The less said, the better.
“I tried his cell and he didn’t answer. Leah’s not answering hers, either.”
“She’s asleep.” He realized as soon as the words left his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say.
“What do you mean she’s asleep? How would you know?”
He might as well have waved a red flag in front of a bull. “She had a small accident yesterday, cut her arm, just a few stitches, no big deal. The pain meds knocked her out.”
“Well, I’ll come over and stay with her until he gets home. You said he’s coming home tonight. You can go do whatever you do.” First the suspicion, now the condescension.
Fan-fucking-tastic. “No, Denise, that’s not necessary. It’s under control.”
“You can’t stay with her.”
“I’m studying to be a nurse, and I’ve had medic training. I’d say I’m a better person to stay with her than you are.”
“If she’s hurt she should have family with her.”
I am family.
Instead, he said, “Kaden asked me to stay with her. You have a problem with that, you can take it up with your brother tomorrow. You will not come in here and start your shit.”
“How dare you!”
If he didn’t get off the fucking phone with her and fast, he would blow his top. Leah didn’t like Denise either. It confused the hell out of him why Denise was suddenly so insistent on taking care of her sister-in-law when they rarely spoke anyway. He glanced at the time and knew it was too late to call Kaden. He’d be on the plane already.
“Good-bye, Denise. When Kaden gets home, I’ll tell him you called.” He hung up before she could argue, then he turned the ringer off.
He was sitting in bed with his laptop propped in his lap and MSNBC turned on low when Leah finally awoke around noon.
“Hey, babe. How you feel?”
She winced, trying not to move her arm. “It hurts.”
He helped her sit up and got her another pain pill. “Master’s orders, you let me take care of you today. Got it, love?”
She weakly smiled. “Believe it or not, I won’t argue with you. It really hurts.”
“Not the good pain, huh?”
She laughed, wincing. “No, not even close to the good pain.” At least he’d gotten his laugh for the day out of her. He made sure she could stand without falling and helped her to her room. She promised to yell if she had problems. He left her bedroom door open so he could hear her.
In a little while she emerged, and he brought her breakfast out to the couch. They watched TV, talked, and she dozed while he caught up on his e-mail. When the doorbell rang a little after one, Seth carefully extricated himself from where Leah was using him as a pillow.
Denise glared at him and pushed her way inside. “Where
is she? I want to talk to her.”
Leah sat up. “Denise?”
“Oh, you poor thing! What happened to you?” The fake syrupy concern dripping from Denise’s voice could have put an elephant into a sugar coma.
Leah nervously glanced at Seth. “It’s nothing. What are you doing here?”
Denise glared at Seth. “Well, this so-called friend of yours tried to keep me away. He was very rude. I told him I’d come over to take care of you until Kaden comes home.”
Seth walked to the back of the couch and stood behind Leah. “I told you, Denise, no. Your presence isn’t required or desired.”
“How dare you!” Denise looked at Leah and grabbed her right hand. “Listen, my friend, Brianna, she overheard Kaden and Ed talking the other day at a Rotary meeting. What’s going on? Why haven’t you two told us he’s sick?”
Aw, fuck. “Okay, Denise, that’s enough.” Seth walked around the couch. “Out you go.”
“You have no right to run me out of here!”
“Yes, I do, because it’s my house. I live here now.”
He could have dropped his pants and taken a shit on the coffee table, and it wouldn’t have shocked her as much as that revelation. “What?”
“He doesn’t want anyone to know about his personal life, so keep your fucking mouth shut.” Now it made sense. The greedy bitch wanted to worm her way into Kaden’s good graces and hopefully get her hands on some of his money. She was always in debt, and her lazy-assed husband spent more time getting fired than he did working.
Denise looked at Leah. “Tell him he can’t order me out. I’m your sister-in-law.”
Leah’s blank stare scared the crap out of Seth. “He told you to get out. I’m telling you to get out. I’m also telling you to keep your fucking mouth shut. Kaden doesn’t want anyone to know his private business. If he wants you to know what goes on in our lives, he’ll tell you.”
Had she yelled it, it would have relieved Seth. But Leah’s soft, nearly passive whisper made his balls draw up tight against his belly in fear.
Fuck.
Denise sat back, briefly stunned into momentary silence. “You don’t mean that.”
“She meant it. Now do you leave, or do I call the cops and have your ass hauled out of here in handcuffs?”
Denise glared at them both before finally storming out of the house. She made sure to slam the door behind her. He’d have to see about getting their front gate code changed. He’d forgotten she knew it.
Whew. Now for Leah. He turned and dropped to his knees in front of her, grabbed her hands. “Babe, talk to me.”
She closed her eyes and cried. It started quietly, building into anguished screams similar to what happened after a particularly intense session.
He sat next to Leah on the couch and carefully folded her into his arms as she sobbed herself to sleep. She was still asleep when Kaden rushed in a little after four. “Is she okay?”
Seth carefully extricated himself from Leah, grabbed Kaden’s arm and dragged him back to the playroom, shutting the door behind them.
“Call your fucking sister right now and ban her from the goddamned house.”
“What?”
Seth related the events. Kaden looked like he would explode. “Okay. I wondered why she was calling me all of a sudden.” He pulled out his cell phone, and Seth returned to the living room after closing the playroom door behind him. A few times he thought he heard Kaden’s enraged voice screaming from the back of the house. Fifteen minutes later, his face red, Kaden made a beeline through the living room and straight to the kitchen.
Seth followed him and found Kaden pouring himself a drink. “Want one?” Kaden asked.
Seth shook his head. He was trying not to drink. He was never an alcoholic, but he certainly didn’t need to be overimbibing at a time like this. He’d been limiting himself to just a few beers or glasses of wine a week, usually one after dinner, if even that.
“Well?”
Kaden took a drink. “God only knows how many people the bitch has told by now, even though she doesn’t know anything. Looking for sympathy. Fuck.” He set his jaw. “This is what I did not want to happen. I had no idea anyone could hear us talking. Fucking nosy eavesdropping bitch.” He took another drink.
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her our personal life was none of her fucking business, and if I caught wind of her spreading stories about me, that I would tell everyone how I had to bail her husband out of jail on solicitation charges a couple of years ago.”
Seth froze, then laughed. “You never told me that! Fuck.”
“If you were married to Denise, wouldn’t you want to see a hooker?”
Seth laughed, long and hard, enjoying the slight smile that finally crept across Kaden’s face. “Well, I guess you’re right there.” Seth rubbed his face. “Go sit with her. She’ll be happy you’re home when she wakes up. I’ll fix dinner.”
Kaden drained his drink and turned to Seth. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded thick with emotion. “Thank you. I mean it. For everything. Especially for taking care of Leah. I meant it when I said I love you.”
“Yeah, well, I love you too, dude. But like I said—”
“I’m still not doing you,” Kaden finished.
They grinned and laughed. This time Kaden’s broad smile made him look a couple of years younger.
Chapter Ten
Leah’s arm healed nicely and probably wouldn’t leave too much of a scar. Three weeks after the incident, life settled back into normalcy.
Normal for them, anyways.
Kaden was having a blast with his plans for the light display. Seth even had to admit he was getting into the holiday spirit. Leah split her time between preparing for the huge charity Christmas banquet and helping plan the dinners and parties they’d hold at the house throughout the season.
Seth had worked up to nearly an hour at a time with the singletail. His aim was slowly improving, but he had a ways to go. An hour working with the whip left him…well, whipped. Between his nearly-numb arm and blistered palm, even when using gloves, he was beat. He changed into his swimsuit and climbed into the hot tub. He was too fucking tired to go for a swim.
He didn’t know how long he lay there when Leah’s voice startled him. “Want me to rub your arm?”
He nodded. He wasn’t going to fight her anymore on this. She wanted to do it, it felt good when she did it, Kaden wanted her to do it, so why the fuck not? “Please.”
“You know,” she said, her voice soft, “it’d be easier if you’d let me get in the hot tub with you.”
He didn’t open his eyes, too tired to argue. “Okay.”
The soft whisp of fabric against flesh, then he felt her sit next to him in the water. Her hands felt good, he wouldn’t deny it. One day…
Hopefully far in the future. He still prayed for a miracle and knew part of his reluctance stemmed from that. If he held off, didn’t push forward as hard as Kaden wanted him to, maybe there wouldn’t be an after to mourn through. Maybe he could stave off the inevitable.
Then he wouldn’t feel guilty about sleeping with his best friend’s wife when it wasn’t necessary after all. Kaden still looked good, didn’t look sick.
Maybe it wouldn’t happen.
Seth didn’t mind taking a dip in the River Denial.
His body succumbed to her touch, relaxing as she slowly worked his muscles. It felt better than good. Who the fuck was he kidding? It felt great.
He’d nearly gone to sleep when he was aware of her changing position, straddling his legs, her hands going to his—
Seth’s eyes popped open and he grabbed her hands as they tried to tug at his waistband. Leah had sunk into the water, visible only from the shoulders up.
“What are you doing?” he hoarsely asked. “That’s not what’s sore.”
She smiled. “I bet it’s stiff.”
Yeah, she wasn’t kidding there. Despite his shock, he was stiff, all right. Like
fucking concrete. Just as Kade said.
Stalemate. She didn’t try to pull away, simply let him hold her there.
“Babe, I’m not ready to make love to yet. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just too soon for me.”
“You don’t have to do anything but lie back and enjoy it.”
What the fuck!
“What?”
“Just enjoy it. Let me take care of you. Please?”
“What about Kaden?” he hoarsely whispered.
“He’s okay with this. You know that. He’s okay with whatever you want to do with me.”
Fuck, he knew that. He was stalling for time and running out of excuses.
“I don’t have any protection.” Even he thought that sounded lame.
“The doctor said you don’t have cooties. It’s not an issue for me anyway. Even if it was, I don’t think any woman has ever gotten pregnant giving a hand job.”
Stalemate. Again.
Her eyes focused on his, steady, calm. He wouldn’t deny he wanted it. The proof was standing straight up in his swimsuit, screaming at him that he was a stupid motherfucker for refusing in the first place.
She pulled out the secret weapon. Her eyes brimmed with uncried tears, melting his heart. “Please, Seth? Let me do this for you. I want to. You’re not forcing me. I know Kaden told you about me. This isn’t the same.”
“I feel like it is.”
“He asked me when he told me about… He asked me that night he first talked to you. He did ask me if I wanted him to go through with it or if I wanted him to find someone else.” Her voice choked, breaking his heart. “You were the first one I thought of, Seth. If he’s not here, I can’t imagine being with anyone but you. Not just to be my master. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. Please?”
Seth pulled her into his arms, holding her for a long moment. His desire to adhere to Kaden’s wishes and to keep Leah safe and sane battled with his heart and body and conscience.
It would have to happen sometime.
“I’m not ready to… I’m not ready to take that next step yet. And it doesn’t seem fair to you to be one-sided about this. I mean, this isn’t the same as doing something to you during a session.”
The Reluctant Dom (Siren Publishing Ménage and More) Page 15