Now, we were alone with Grace and I tried not to be too amused with Sal’s look of distress. I lost the battle and looked up at him with a laugh. “She’s not going to do much, babe. She’s only a few months old. She’ll lay here until she starts crying and then she’ll probably want to eat or need a diaper change.”
He looked at me quizzically for a minute. “How do you know so much about babies?”
My face grew hot and I looked away. “Where we lived when I was growing up, there were a lot of less than stellar parents. I guess I just naturally became the resident babysitter whether I wanted to or not. I’m not as maternal as Scarlet, but I picked up a few tricks,” I shrugged, hoping he’d leave it at that.
His face grew soft and he reached out to grab my hand briefly. “I bet you were great, baby.”
Just then, Gracie started to squawk and I went to get her bottle ready.
Sal surprised me by helping quite a bit with babysitting. He didn’t change her diaper, but he held her a little bit and gave her a bottle. There was nothing that could have melted my heart more than seeing my badass man holding a little tiny baby. I was in a constant state of swoon.
But, by the time Scarlet and Cole came to pick her up, we were ready to hand her back. It was a lot of work taking care of a baby!
“Have fun?” I asked Scarlet, noting the twinkle in her eye.
“Yeah,” she said with a grin. “Everything okay here?”
“Totally, piece of cake,” I assured her.
“Thanks, you’re the best.” She hugged me as Cole took their sleeping baby in her Moses basket.
“Anytime, you know that. Wedding planning this week?” I verified. We had a date for a dress fitting and some other “girly shit” as Cole called it.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” she grinned, following her man out to the truck.
“Phew, that was a lot of work,” I sighed, closing the door and leaning against it. “I need a drink.”
“Me, too,” Sal agreed, pulling out two beers as we plopped on the couch.
We sat in weighted silence while sipping our beers. There was something about spending time with a baby with the man you loved to make an elusive future suddenly feel very present and very…real.
“You want kids?” he asked in the blunt manner that was so Sal. I wanted to sigh in relief that he was saying what we were both thinking.
“Yeah,” I nodded, realizing for the first time with clarity that I absolutely did. Sure, when Scar had asked I wasn’t entirely sure. But it wasn’t until Sal asked, when it really mattered, that I knew my answer with certainty.
“You?” I asked shocked at how hard my heart was hammering waiting for his response.
He sighed as he twirled his beer bottle in hand, pulling at the label with his fingers. “A year ago I would have said fuck no. Now, maybe?” he shot a look over in my direction before returning to his label demolition. “I guess meetin’ my pop and his side of my family made me feel more hopeful about being a parent.”
I tried not to take an obvious intake of breath. I’d been waiting and waiting, hoping Sal would talk more about what happened when he was gone.
“My mom and I haven’t ever talked about it much; you know we’re not close. But I’d always assumed she’d had the fling with my dad and felt ashamed. But he told a different story. He said they loved each other. That shocked the shit out of me,” he admitted. “But he lived in near poverty, and her parents didn’t approve of the relationship. She was forced to come back to the states and break all ties in order to have me.”
“God, that’s awful,” I replied softly.
“Yeah,” he agreed. After a moment, he sighed and his tone turned ponderous. “I was surprised how relieved I was to find out I was born out of something more than a one-night stand,” he said, and I was touched by his admission. “And it was eye opening being with that side of my family. They’re so loving and open. It gave me hope that I have that somewhere inside me, too,” he said quietly, his eyes on me. “My mother was always so cold and removed from me. Maybe I reminded her too much of my dad, of what she couldn’t have or something,” he said as he shrugged. “And then she married that asshole husband of hers. They were the only parents I knew. I grew up feeling like an afterthought, a mistake. Clearly, it fucked me up,” he admitted.
My heart lurched for him, but I didn’t speak. He needed to talk it out, and I was more than happy to let him.
His expression grew warm. “My grandma is amazing,” he said as he grinned in a way he rarely did. “She was determined to teach me Spanish before I left.”
“Did it work?”
“No,” he said as he laughed. He had such a wonderful laugh, so deep and rich sounding. “I don’t have a great ear for language apparently.”
I laughed with him.
“They welcomed me with open arms just as I am, accepted me as family immediately,” he added quietly. “I never had that growing up. “
“I’m sure that meant a lot,” I said, marveling at the vulnerability he was showing me now.
“But being with them, I mean, they don’t have much, next to nothing actually. But, you’d never know. And Pop is so different than I expected. I think I would have been a different person if I’d grown up with him,” he said, sounding slightly pained. “I could have been better for you, not put you through so much shit.”
I took his hand in mine and squeezed. “It’s over and done, babe. And plus, if you were any different then you wouldn’t be you. You know? And I love you just as you are.”
He shook his head as though he was pleased and embarrassed at the same time.
“So anyway, yeah, I think now, maybe I could have a kid and not be totally shit at it,” he turned to regard me with a fathomless expression I’d never seen before. “Especially if I had you to help me.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “I feel the same way, honey. Not like I came from stellar parenting. But, I think between the two of us we’d do all right.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, giving my leg a reassuring squeeze.
And there we were, two people who came from different but equally broken backgrounds agreeing with fragile confidence to bring a life into the world someday. It was one of the most profound moments of my life, and I’d never loved him more.
Chapter 17
“Babe, we gotta roll!” I heard Sal holler as I dressed the next morning.
I rolled my eyes in response. I’d agreed to go to get the rest of my stuff from my apartment, and he was enthusiastic to get it done.
“Sal, babe, what’s the rush?” I laughed as he stood in the doorway watching me throw on my shirt.
“Just wanna get it done, that’s all,” he said as he shrugged.
“Can we stop for coffee on the way?” I asked, knowing he’d agree. No one wanted to hang with me if I hadn’t had my caffeine fix.
“Yeah,” he agreed as I grabbed my purse and moved to follow him outside.
He opened the door and we nearly ran over Sophie, standing there poised to knock.
“Soph?” Sal asked incredulously as his sister stood there looking at us both with an uncertain expression.
“Um, hi,” she stammered, looking clearly uncomfortable and unsure of herself.
“Sophie, hi! Come in,” I greeted with a smile, moving out from behind Sal and gesturing her inside.
“I’m sorry; you were obviously on your way out somewhere. I can come back,” she said looking between the two of us.
“No, no,” I said as I shook my head. “This is a great surprise. I’ll make some coffee,” I assured her, giving her hand a quick squeeze. Judging from Sal’s expression, I needed to give them a minute.
I busied myself making coffee, watching them out of the corner of my eye.
“How’d you get here?” Sal asked while shrugging off his jacket and throwing a leg over the back of a chair to face his sister. He gestured for her to sit on the sofa across from him.
“I hopped a red-eye
and then took a cab here,” she answered quietly, her fingers twisting in her lap so tightly I worried she’d hurt herself.
“Why didn’t you call first? I would have come to get you. What if we weren’t home?” he demanded, sounding frustrated.
I silently pleaded for him to take it a bit easier on her. The poor girl looked ready to fall over with the next breeze.
She shrugged, biting her lip and I knew she was barely holding it together.
“What’s goin’ on?” Sal demanded.
Then I looked at Sophie, really looked at her. I didn’t know her well as I’d only met her the one time, but she looked pale even to me. Her eyes looked too large in her beautiful face, and I knew whatever was going on was more than simply being tired from a flight.
Her face crumpled and I glanced worriedly at Sal whose expression had hardened. I knew it wasn’t because of Sophie, but rather whatever was causing this reaction in her.
I moved to sit next to her, hoping my comfort was welcome, and put an arm around her thin shoulder.
“I’m just tired,” she choked out, her head in her hands and a wall of chestnut hair hiding her face.
“Are you hurt?” I asked quietly.
She shook her head. “No, I just…I had to get away from home. I didn’t know where else to go,” she explained quietly.
“Of course, it’s good you came here,” I assured her, looking up at Sal to support my words.
“Do they know you’re here?” he asked instead, unsuccessfully keeping the disdain from his tone at the mention of his mother and her husband.
“Just Mom. I hope this doesn’t cause trouble for you,” she fretted.
“That’s not it,” he shook his head, kneeling to his haunches to look up at his sister. His expression softened as he looked up into her tearful eyes. “Soph, things aren’t exactly safe here right now, not as safe as I’d like them anyway.” His eyes shot to me briefly, and I knew it pained him to admit that. “It’s not that you’re not welcome; it’s the opposite, I swear. But maybe we should work out another time for you to visit when things aren’t so unstable,” he told her quietly.
She met his expression with quiet determination. “I’m not going back.”
Sal looked at me then, and I saw a look of near helplessness before he quickly shut it down. I knew what this meant, his sister was yet another source of vulnerability for him, another person to protect and look out for. But, I also knew he wouldn’t turn her away.
“Okay, then it’s settled,” he replied calmly. “You can stay here until we figure something out. But Soph, you gotta talk to me. Not today, maybe not even tomorrow, but I need to know what happened.”
She merely nodded. “Thank you,” her voice rasped.
Sal stood up, wandering back to our second bedroom that was filled with his security hardware. It was a total mess.
He surveyed the destruction and sighed wearily. “Gonna take some work gettin’ this set up.” I put an arm around his waist and leaned into his body. This whole thing had him tense and I wanted to support him, however I could.
My eyes lit up then. “What if she stayed at my apartment? My lease isn’t up for another month.”
He thought about my suggestion for a moment. “That could work,” he agreed. “Though I’d need one of the guys to post up, keep an eye on her.”
I stood on my tiptoes, kissing him softly, and left him to go check on Sophie.
By late morning, we had her settled at my old place. It was either that or have her sleep on the couch at our place while we figured out the guest room. This would be much more comfortable for her. Despite her presence not being ideal with everything happening, it had worked out well that we hadn’t emptied my place yet.
Sal had explained vaguely to her about what was going on with Parker and the fact she needed a “man on her,” as he called it. I watched her expression the whole time as she tried to comprehend Sal’s world. Most of it went over her head. I remembered my own induction into the Knights’ world. It had been hard enough for me, and I was a hell of a lot less sheltered than Sophie.
Then Axel had swung by. I swore her brown eyes would have burst out of her head if they got any bigger when she took in his huge frame and gleaming gray eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was attracted to him or terrified of him. It was probably a bit of both.
I caught Axel’s eyes sweep her frame and face before he turned back to Sal, crossing his arms over his massive chest.
“How about we all go out tonight? Grab some food, maybe a drink?” I suggested, breaking the sudden tension zapping through the room. “We can give you a chance to nap, then swing by and pick you up.”
She looked ready to pass out from exhaustion, but I didn’t want to leave her alone her first night in town.
“Okay,” she agreed as she nodded simply, sitting heavily on the bed as though she was ready to pass out right that second.
“Axel’s gonna post up downstairs,” Sal cut in. “Get some rest. Call me if you need anything,” he instructed.
“Yeah, okay,” she sighed.
“See you soon, Sophie,” I called over my shoulder as I followed the guys out.
“A word,” I heard Sal growl to Axel as we headed out.
Uh oh.
“She’s my sister,” he threatened as soon as we got out onto the street. “Don’t fuckin’ forget that. She’s not for you,” he ordered, shoving a finger into Axel’s chest.
“Dude, she’s a fuckin’ kid,” Axel scoffed, looking down at his boots briefly.
I eyed him skeptically. Sophie was far from a kid at twenty-four. And, I hadn’t missed the way he’d looked at her.
“I’m here to fuckin’ help you. Don’t be such a dick.”
Score one for Axel, he had a point there.
Sal took a deep breath and took a step back. “You’re right, man. Sorry,” he apologized, taking a deep breath. Sal didn’t apologize often and I was surprised he so willingly backed down. “I’m just worried. I don’t get what fuckin’ happened. She shows up on our door out of nowhere, looking haunted or something.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his boots. “Whatever it is, it’s not good. And, she won’t talk about it,” he added with frustration.
I took his hand and squeezed, offering what little comfort I could.
“You’ll figure it out,” Axel’s deep voice rumbled in reply. “And, we got your back, man.”
I smiled at him with gratitude. Sal had a lot on his plate. I knew he felt tremendous pressure to protect me and now he had his sister to worry about, too.
“Same goes for me. You know that,” Sal returned.
They did the whole man hug with pats on the back so hard it looked painful. Then Sal took my hand and led me to the Charger, pointing us home.
“An all-girls’ high school and college, are you kidding me!” Connie shrieked at Sophie as Ettie and I looked on later that night.
I’d proposed a “girls only” evening, but of course the guys weren’t far away, playing pool and shooting the shit against the back wall of Pete’s.
“I never thought it was weird because I didn’t know any different,” Sophie admitted.
I looked over at her and smiled reassuringly; glad to see her looking better than she had this morning. There was a little more color in her cheeks, and her eyes had more life to them as we sat and got to know each other over drinks.
“After that, our guys must come as a shock,” Ettie said. “You’d either feel like you’re in heaven or maybe hell,” she said as she laughed.
“It’s a bit of both,” Sophie allowed, showing her first real smile since she’d arrived.
She was a beautiful girl, even more so when she smiled.
“And, you’ve got Axel as your watch dog of all people,” Connie commented.
“Yeah, he’s…” Sophie searched for the right word, “intense.”
“Uh, yeah,” I agreed dryly with her understatement. Sal and Axel were neck and neck as far as intensity was c
oncerned. But, Sal didn’t beat people down as part of his job description.
“Where’s Scar tonight?” Ettie wanted to know, sipping her beer.
“With her babe. Both of them, actually,” I said and laughed at my own joke. “We’ve got a dress fitting tomorrow so I’ll see her then.”
“Another round for you ladies?” a deep voice inquired as I looked up to find a man outfitted in a ball cap and polo shirt.
God help him. I was sure there were a few less than happy men watching his back from the pool table.
“No thanks, we’re set,” Connie replied for us.
“You look like you could use another,” he turned to Sophie who had an empty glass.
“Um, sure?” she replied, looking at me for verification. I shook my head frantically letting her know it wasn’t a good idea.
“Oh, actually, I’m okay,” she recanted while looking at me again in bewilderment.
Poor girl, she was in over her head.
I looked over to find Axel watching the exchange, his entire body taut and eyes fierce.
Interesting.
“Hey, if she wants a drink then she wants a drink,” the guy argued with me.
“It’s your face,” I said and shrugged as though indifferent.
“Bitch,” the guy huffed to himself.
“What did I just hear you say?” Sal stormed, hauling the guy around to face him.
“Nothing, I didn’t say anything,” the guy said as he shook his head profusely. I almost felt bad for him as he visibly gulped looking up at Sal.
“Really? Because I thought you just called my woman a bitch,” Sal growled. Axel, Wes, and Mack had all gathered behind him, and I was fairly certain the guy was close to pissing himself.
“It’s fine, babe,” I told Sal calmly. “Let it go.”
Sal glared at me, clearly not happy about me telling him how to handle the situation. He hauled the guy toward the exit and shoved him out the door.
“Oh my god,” I heard Sophie mumble under her breath.
“Get used to it, honey,” Connie said and laughed as she raised her glass in salute.
“Sal and the guys, well, they’re a bit overprotective,” I began tentatively. Ettie snorted loudly at my understatement. I shot her a glare to shut her pie hole before continuing, “It comes from a good place, but your brother is already under a lot of stress with all this shit going on. He probably won’t react well to strange men approaching you. Well, any man actually,” I amended.
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