Love of Her Lives

by Clare, Sharon

  Game? “What game?” Calum said the trickster liked to play games.

  “Now, you choose.” Finn placed the key in her hand and floated backwards. “You either put your trust in the man who spanned worlds to get to you, or put your trust in the rest of the world.”

  Finn vanished in a gust of wind.

  Chapter 20

  There’s Nothing Sexier than a Man Cooking Dinner

  Beth sat in the car outside their rustic retreat running her fingers through the silver tassel tied to the end of the key clutched in her hand. When given the choice to leave Calum and go back to the real world, she’d not had to think hard. She would stay. It wasn’t because Finn emphasized Calum’s great sacrifice. It wasn’t because she feared the immortal and didn’t want to be in his disfavour. It wasn’t even because Calum needed her to solve his “problem.” It was simpler than that. Neither her mind, nor her body, nor perhaps her soul wanted to leave him. Whether they’d been together for a thousand years or five days, it wasn’t nearly enough. And that had not come clear until she’d had to choose.

  With that decision made, she moved on to the conundrum that followed in its wake. Calum unable to perform? She would never have believed it if not for his behaviour yesterday. When she’d become aggressive, he’d fled the cabin with important things to do. Right. His behaviour didn’t add up. The man was atomic energy when he had the upper hand, when he thought she would stay above board, keep to her beliefs. What would Calum do if she didn’t back off?

  All her life she’d been fueled by feelings of inadequacy and abandonment. She’d used self–control to feel empowered. But she didn’t feel inadequate or abandoned any longer. If Calum and Finn spoke the truth, she’d sustained the love of the most upright man she’d ever known for lifetimes. She was certainly adequate in Calum’s eyes.

  If you were to become the seducer, if you allowed your passion to grow with his, if you freed your soul to feel for Calum, then I can assure you, he will regain his ability, and you will not be left wanting in any way.

  So what if it was true? No room there for abandonment. Calum said he was hers — 100 percent committed. It sounded like her quota was filled. Beth stuffed the elf’s crimson key into the back of the glove box and headed for the cabin.

  As she stood in the doorway watching him, Calum turned from the stove. There was nothing sexier than a man cooking dinner.

  “Hi,” she said. “That smells good.”

  “Ah, you’re much better, I see.” He flicked his head, tossing a long strand of crème–caramel hair from his face and sent her a breathtaking smile as he regarded her change in mood. Okay, that was sexy too. Not to mention that he’d read her from a mere glance.

  She tossed her purse on the table and came to peer in the pot. He had one hand on the handle, stirring with the other.

  “Stew.”

  His hands were occupied, so Beth wrapped hers around him, resting her cheek on his back. She felt him rumble with pleasure.

  “You’ve forgiven me for stranding you just a wee bit off Earth?”

  “You were right, Calum. We should make the best of it. This is paradise, and who am I to scoff at pleasure and decadence.”

  “You’re no imbecile that I’ve noticed.”

  “Gee thanks.” She swatted the back of his head. “I’m going to make us a toasty fire to snuggle by.” And then, she was going to light a different kind of fire, in the pit of Calum.

  Ten minutes later the flames were a warm glow. She plopped down on the sheep’s wool rug, her back against the couch, her legs stretched out.

  “So you are fine with this now?” Calum asked, hanging the ax in place.

  “Being here with you? Or did you mean my fire?”

  “The with me part.”

  Slow and purposely, she swept him from top to toes with her gaze. The man was beautiful. Cutting wood, he’d handled that ax like he was slicing bread. She had nearly drooled watching the muscles flex in his graceful arms.

  “Come here, and I’ll whisper it in your ear.”

  He hesitated. There he goes again. Or, maybe not. Calum sauntered over and straddled her, a knee on each side, his forearms resting on the couch aside her head.

  “Tell me, m’eudail. Why?”

  Beth smiled into those eyes of blue. “Well, it’s not because you’re a lightweight.” She bumped his butt with her knee. He didn’t budge. “Though you are a good cook, and I can’t tell you what a turn–on that is.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. Tell me everything that turns you on.”

  She glanced to the hearth. “You know how to start my fire.”

  He smiled. “I plan to keep it burning.”

  “Good, we’ll get on that as soon as I’m finished.”

  His biceps were solid under her hand. “You’re strong — certainly comes in handy.” She ran her hands over those muscles a few more times. “Actually you’ve got nice arms, and your shoulders aren’t bad either. And that back of yours, well, let’s just say you’re a fine specimen of perfect physical attributes.”

  “You love me for my body?” With her head cradled in his big hands, he began to move his thumbs up and down the sides of her head across the sensitive skin behind her ear.

  “Every time you touch me I feel like melting. For such a powerful man, you are very gentle.”

  His gaze softened as his thumbs started to twirl circles on her neck.

  “No, Calum, it’s not just your physical appeal. You’re considerate and chivalrous, yet sensitive too. You’re kind and fun–loving, and oh wait, persistent, let’s not forget that one. But the thing I like most about you is you make me feel treasured, as if there’s nothing you want more than me.”

  He laughed softly.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “It’s not that, m’eudail. Do you know what it means? M’eudail?”

  “I hope it’s something nice since you keep calling me that.”

  “It means my treasure.”

  “Oh,” she said faintly. “You’re making me melt again.”

  “Before you turn to mush … thank you for what you said. I wasn’t expecting that. You make my insides weak too, Bethia.”

  “You’re doing it again, dipping my name in chocolate, and if you’re about to dissolve, maybe you should lift off me.”

  “Hell no. I love having you in this position.” He eased off a touch by leaning forward to bite her jaw.

  “You have a real need to dominate, Mister I’m-About-To-Dissolve.”

  “Yes, and still you let me get you into this position.” He held her hands tight to the floor. “You are the first course, m’eudail, and you’re not getting the second course till I’m done with you.”

  The man had a way about him, and Beth didn’t know whether to be infuriated or infatuated. She was supposed to play dominant tonight — rather difficult considering she couldn’t move.

  “Close your eyes,” came his seductive demand.

  “Oh,” she moaned weakly as her eyes fluttered shut. Calum’s hot mouth closed over hers in a savage claim. Dominant, he would be, over and over until she had given him everything. He rasped her cheek with his jaw, bit her neck with his teeth, and ravaged her mouth with his tongue. With her eyes closed she could do nothing but feel, immobilized by his body. It was incredibly sensual. She arched and leaned her head back on the couch, not knowing where his mouth would tantalize her next. Her eyelids, her earlobe, her mouth, her neck. With each placement of his lips, he savoured her as though she was his last supper.

  “Take whatever you want,” she offered. “Just don’t stop.”

  He made a low sound in his throat as he travelled down her neck with his lips, leaving her trembling in anticipation. He released her hands, only to grab her by the hips and pull her flat. When she reached
up to touch his face, he smiled mischievously, took both her hands in his and raised them over her head.

  “Keep them there. Don’t touch me, m’eudail, or I will stop.”

  Long strands of hair brushed his cheekbones as he unbuttoned her blouse, grazing her skin with the backs of his fingers, holding her still as his gaze slid over her like a torch — daring her to move. She didn’t.

  Her breasts rose and fell, slowly, heated with desire and aching for his touch. She had never felt such exquisite anticipation. Starting at the top of her shirt, his fingers slid into her buttonholes to leave each button undone until her blouse lay open. Her belly tightened with an exquisite sexual response when he opened her blouse.

  His lips parted as he gazed down at her breasts rising and falling inside her bra. She watched while he ran his fingers under the edge of the cup, touching her skin. His expression never wavered from confident as she imagined him determining the fastest way to get her out of that bra. Would the warrior search for the clasp? Would he find it between her breasts? Would he notice she’d stopped breathing?

  A quick flick of his fingers and her breasts sprung free.

  “Every time, Beth, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Your body is always perfection.” He traced patterns on her breasts with his thumbs, down her belly, up to her throat, her lips. She pulled his fingers into her mouth, wanting some taste of him. The firelight cast him in a soft glow as he savoured and soothed, both rough and gentle.

  “Mmmm, let me help you out of your shirt, Calum.”

  He shook his head and the wicked smile came down on her nipple. She gasped as the sensation shook her. She had never felt an erotic pulse go so deep and spread through her with such intensity. The man was magic, as if he knew exactly what she craved, how much pressure, where, when.

  “Oh Calum,” she moaned, weakly. He was sending her over the edge with the flick of his tongue, his fingers a gentle compress. Artfully adapting to exasperate every peak he brought her to, he then brought her to the next one. Her whole being rose to meet a surge she had never fathomed finding there. An intense rapture rippled from her breasts to the swelling nub between her thighs, to her womb, and she drew her breath in a long gasp as her climax left her panting against the pillows.

  “Oh, I never … Calum, w-wait.”

  “You don’t like it, or you need to catch your breath?” His smile was pure seduction, glinting with self–satisfaction. Although he’d pleased her, the look in his eye suggested she should think twice before asking him to stop.

  “That’s never happened to me before.” Her heart was still racing. “I didn’t even know it was possible. You … . How did you do that? How did you know how to touch me so precisely?”

  His expression turned soft. “Because I know you, m’eudail. For a thousand years, you’ve been my study. I’ve learned to tune into your peaks, your valleys and to bring you through them, and back and through them again. Having those memories is gratification in the most sensual sense.”

  It would take a few minutes or months for her to wrap her head around that. “I’d like to see if I have any memories.” She slipped her hand under his shirt.

  He got up on his elbow. “No. This isn’t about me tonight.”

  “It is now.” She dove back under his shirt.

  He laughed and grabbed her wrists startlingly fast.

  “Do not think you are going to manhandle me into compliance.” She struggled uselessly against his iron hold. “Let go. I’m taking your clothes off whether you like it or not, and it’s happening right now, Bucko.”

  He looked at her through narrowed eyes. “You need some lessons in romance, lass. That’s no way to get a man out of his pants.”

  She dissolved in a pool of laughter. He couldn’t have hit that nail any squarer on the head.

  “I’m sorry.” She started to laugh again. “You’re right. I was frenzied for a moment. So … let me start over.”

  “Beth, wait. You don’t know how badly I want you to … but no, the time isn’t right. That is …”

  “What is it, Calum?”

  “Damn. I know I brought this on. I can’t keep my hands off you, lass.”

  He picked up Beth’s shirt and wrapped it around her shoulders.

  “I wasn’t complaining.”

  “I know, and if it wasn’t your first time, it wouldn’t matter so much.”

  “What wouldn’t matter so much?” She hated seeing him struggle with this. If only she could tell him he had nothing to worry about, that his restoration lay in her hands.

  A look of resignation crossed his face. He stood and took her hand to pull her up to sit on the couch. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  • • •

  “Would you like a whiskey?” Calum asked, retreating to the counter for a glass. In all their years together, he couldn’t remember once stopping in the middle of lovemaking for a glass of whiskey. What a fine predicament. Indebted to an immortal trickster so he could make love to his woman. No turning back now — in for a penny, in for a pound.

  “No thanks,” she said. “I thought you wanted to talk?”

  He poured the drink and turned to face her. “No, well, yes, uh no.” He didn’t. He couldn’t think of any topic he would rather discuss less. What rationale would explain why he was all over her like bees to a flower head but fended her off if she touched him?

  “Whatever it is, I’ll help you with it. Trust me, Calum.”

  “Trust you?” He smiled wryly. He’d asked no less of her, given her no option but to trust him.

  “Come on, out with it.” She buttoned her blouse and crossed the room to the kitchen table. Pulling out a chair, she sat down. He had her full attention.

  He studied her expression. She wasn’t going to give it up. Admitting to his impotency was one thing, but he’d best not admit he’d bent her will.

  He began by sitting down across from her. “All right then, this is the way of it. I was granted a human body by Finn, the trickster, but the Old Ones of the Upper World weren’t pleased I’d gone behind their backs. For some inhuman reason they thought I’d be of better service to you, if I was not so distracted by my, er, intent to get you into bed.”

  “No kidding? And you hide it so well.”

  He ignored that sarcastic truism. “I suppose I need not tell you that it didn’t work. One look at you, lass, and I’m like a rutting buck.”

  That confession brought a smile to her face. “You poor man — slave to the nature of a beast.”

  “Well, in my defense I do carry salacious memories.”

  “What did these old people do to you to focus your attention away from your penis?”

  “I’m getting to that. Beth, first let me remind you that I do want you.”

  “I know that, Calum.”

  “I could happily spend my life pleasing you in ways we’ve only begun to explore.”

  “I don’t doubt that. Calum, just spit it out.”

  “I’m impotent. Do you know what that means, lass? I can’t,” and he couldn’t help but grimace, “that is, we can’t join as man and woman are meant to.”

  “Oh.”

  His woman didn’t look nearly as distraught by the news as he’d imagined. She must not understand.

  “Like you said before,” she said. “You and I have a unique bond. Let’s just try and see what happens.”

  “Ah no. Believe me it doesn’t work, and I’ve no desire to suffer any further on that account. But there’s no need for you to do without. Pleasing you gives me pleasure enough.”

  “I don’t want a gigolo. I’m not keeping my hands to myself. I want to please you as well.”

  “And you will, just not yet. I need a couple more days.” He would not tell Beth about Finn’s three tasks. She’d t
hink he’d abducted her from her home to seduce her, not protect her. Until she felt what it was like to join in love, she’d not understand why he’d relentlessly pursued it.

  Beth stood and came around behind him. She rested her elbows on his shoulders, her chin on his head. “You’re not having a couple more days, minutes maybe, but not much more. I’m turning the table. You are to put yourself in the same position you put me. Hands up, Mister, let me play with your nipples.”

  He laughed. “You think I’m going to say no.”

  “Yes, I do.” She kissed behind his ear and tickled his neck with her tongue like he’d done to her.

  He had no choice. The lass was inexperienced, and she didn’t have the memories. First times were always delicate and Beth deserved better. If he couldn’t live this life with her, at the very least he would leave her with the memory that no man would ever please her as he did.

  “Watch yourself.” Calum pushed back his chair and pulled her down on his knee.

  “Feel this.” Her voice was soft and seductive as she leaned forward to kiss him. Her lips were an invitation, warm and moist, they met his in a slow kiss, then she pulled back. “I don’t have your vast experience, but on the other hand, who does? Frankly, I’ve never been in a more bizarre situation, but being with you feels exactly right. I’m here, Calum, offering you what I’ve never offered any man. Whatever happens between us will be beautiful enough for me.”

  It hadn’t occurred to him she wouldn’t offer herself. That wasn’t the issue. It would be beautiful to say the least, but not like this. Finn had asked for patience. Calum had no choice but to give it. If Beth wouldn’t take for herself, they would have to find something else to do.

  She kissed his nose and then stood up. “Why don’t you put another log on the fire?”

  Chapter 21