She put her pen down.
Caleb was still going, his pad angled away from her. What was he writing? Surely he didn’t have that much to say about her.
She scooted closer, trying to get a glimpse, but he flipped the notebook closed.
Ella popped up at exactly the wrong moment. “No peeking, Liv. Don’t you want it to be a surprise?”
“No!”
Ella’s eyes gleamed with triumph. “All right, everyone. Pens down. It’s time to share. And since Liv is so anxious to hear Caleb’s vows, we’ll start with him.”
Liv took a deep breath. There was no reason to worry. No way would Caleb screw her over. It would go against his Captain-Integrity code.
“Ready?” Ella chirped.
Liv pulled on a smile, trying to pretend she wasn’t sweating through her embroidered tunic. Everyone knew guys weren’t romantic. She’d pretend she found Caleb’s horribly mangled vows cute. Throw her arms around him and give him a kiss. A little tongue action would make everyone forget that he hadn’t vowed to love her for as long as they both lived.
“Uh,” Caleb said. “I guess.”
Ella’s smile widened, showing her perfectly straight, perfectly white incisors. “Go ahead.”
“Olivia Voretti, I choose you to be my wife for many reasons.” Caleb stared at his paper, avoiding eye contact.
Liv folded her hands together to keep from grabbing the notebook. It didn’t matter how bad Caleb’s vows were. If she interfered, it would only make things worse.
“I love the way you say what’s on your mind, even when it gets you into trouble.” There was a burst of knowing laughter from the crowd, forcing Caleb to pause.
Liv forced in a breath. Okay. Maybe this wasn’t going to be a complete disaster.
“I love that I can always find you in a crowded room, because whatever you’re wearing, it’s different than what everyone else has on.”
More laughter.
“I love that you know how to find joy in life. I’m not sure why you want me—”
This time, her relatives roared with mirth, everyone apparently of the opinion that Liv should be beyond grateful Caleb had consented to date her. She pulled on a smile, trying to look sweet for her parents, while at the same time shooting eye-daggers at her brothers, who were wiping away actual tears of laughter. She was going to strangle them as soon as her mom was looking the other way.
“You’re unique and you’re fearless, and when you commit to something, you do it with everything in you. So that’s the way I promise to commit to you.” Caleb finally looked at her, and she forgot to be angry. Forgot to do anything but stare as he spoke the words she knew he couldn’t possibly mean. “I love you, Olivia.”
This isn’t real. He’s playing a role. The role you asked him to play.
But Caleb was a better actor than she’d given him credit for, because he looked serious. He looked hungry.
“I love you with all of me. Forever.” His voice pulled her into a dream where the rest of the world fell away. He was hers and she was his and—
The applause snapped her out of her trance. The entire room was clapping. Her cousin Claire was on her feet, giving Caleb a standing ovation.
“People, please. Let’s hold the applause until the very end.” The giant frown on Ella’s face should have made Liv’s day, but she was dizzy and disoriented. She could still see the look in Caleb’s eyes as he’d proclaimed his love.
She snuck a glance at him. He met her gaze, calm and controlled and perfectly Caleb, but she hadn’t imagined that heat. It was the same heat she’d seen right before he’d kissed her. Maybe it had always been there, lurking right below the surface.
The idea electrified her. It made sense. It explained why Caleb had responded to her so strongly the night of the barbecue.
It was dangerous what he was doing—bottling up his emotions until they exploded. Their kiss had temporary relieved his emotional pressure, but it was only a matter of time before it built up again. And, next time, the resulting eruption might not be a harmless little kiss with an understanding friend. The next time it might throw his whole life off-track.
He was doing her a favor by pretending to be her boyfriend. Maybe she could do him a favor, too. She’d spend the rest of their time together helping him get in touch with his emotions. She’d get her loan, and Caleb would learn to live his life to the fullest.
*
“Here you go, Caleb. You and Liv are in cabin eighteen.” Ella forced the key into Caleb’s hand. Which was even sweatier than when he’d been reading his vows.
All day he’d been in a state of high alert, performing a delicate dance where he stayed close to Liv but not too close. When Ella had finally announced that scheduled activities were over for the day, he’d thought he’d be able to find some peace. And now this?
“So we’re, uh, sharing a room?” His brain pulled up an image of Liv lying on soft cotton sheets. Her eyes were hot and her smile was soft and her hands were stretched over her head, gripping the rungs of an old brass bed frame as he—
“Unless there’s some reason you don’t want to.” Ella’s voice was sweet, but her eyes held that same predatory gleam they’d had all day.
“Of course we want to.” Liv cuddled up to Caleb like he was a goddamn teddy bear. He tried to uncouple his brain from the physical sensations, but he felt her all over. Even in places she couldn’t possibly reach while he was fully clothed.
He squeezed the key until the ridged edge bit into his palm. “We’d love to. But you know how Francesca and Antonio are. And I don’t want to ruin your party.”
“Don’t you worry about them.” Ella smiled wide. “Actually, Aunt Franny already knows about the sleeping arrangements. She wanted to make sure you and Liv had plenty of privacy.”
“Oh. Well, that’s…”
“You didn’t think Liv’s parents thought she was a virgin, did you? I don’t think anyone thinks Liv is a virgin. Did you know she was only fifteen when—”
“Thank you, Ella,” Liv broke in. “We’re going to bed now. Where we’re going to have lots of sex. In lots of different positions. Because I’ve been doing it for so long that I’m an expert.” She pulled Caleb toward the door.
“No problem whatsoever,” Ella called after them. “Have a great night. Hope you’re nice and cozy.”
Liv shoved the door open.
The lodge hadn’t been particularly warm, but the outside temperature was downright frigid, and Liv started to shiver. He pulled her close. She was too small to maintain a healthy core temperature without some extra body heat.
Sure, buddy. Keep telling yourself that.
“Sorry,” Liv muttered. “I didn’t think about the sleeping arrangements.”
“No big deal.” He couldn’t even sell that lie to himself. Not when he and Liv were alone in the dark, the only light coming from the stars above. It was the kind of pure darkness that made it easy to imagine they were alone in the world, no reason he couldn’t act on the crazy attraction that had only gotten stronger since he’d kissed her.
His mind raced, trying to come up with some way out of this mess. “You take the cabin. I’ll bunk with Alex and Matt.”
“Yeah. Because that won’t be suspicious at all.” Liv sighed. “Ella might be a bitch, but she’s right. Even Nonna Hazel knows I’m not a virgin.”
He stubbed his toe on an exposed tree root.
“You okay?” Liv asked.
He muttered a soft curse—but not because his toe was stinging. “I’m fine.”
“Come on.” She fumbled with her cell phone, and then a light pierced the darkness.
They used the makeshift flashlight to find their way to his SUV. After grabbing their bags, they started down the narrow dirt path that led to the cabins.
“Don’t worry,” Liv said. “We don’t have to share the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor. I’ll take the floor.” They reached the en
d of the main circle of cabins but there was no number eighteen. “If we ever find this place.”
“That way.” Liv’s cell phone lit up a small wooden sign reading Cabin Eighteen with an arrow pointing to the right. They followed the narrow path through a grove of oaks dense enough to blot out the little starlight that penetrated the cloud cover, finally emerging at cabin eighteen.
And that put an end to Caleb’s final desperate plan, where he waited until everyone was asleep and then drove to the nearest hotel. He couldn’t leave Liv all alone in the middle of nowhere.
“It figures Ella would exile us to Siberia,” Liv muttered as Caleb fitted the key to the lock. “There better be a bathroom, or I’m leaving.”
There was a bathroom and a bed, but that was it. The place was so small there was barely room to walk in the space between where the king-sized bed ended and the wall began.
Liv rubbed her hands over her nearly bare arms—the fuzzy sweater she’d thrown on over her top was so thin it might as well not have been there are all. “I think it’s colder in here than it was outside.” She squeezed her way over to the thermostat. “It looks like it’s on. Do you see any heating vents?”
With nothing adorning the bare wood walls, it was easy to rule out the bedroom. He poked his head into the tiny bathroom. “There’s one in here.”
He held his hand under the vent. It was pumping out hot air. But such a pathetic amount that it couldn’t make up for the cold seeping in from outside. For once, nature was on his side. With his body busy maintaining a safe core temperature, he wouldn’t be able to fantasize about Liv.
He stepped back into the bedroom. “Get under the covers. You’ll warm up.”
“I don’t know about that,” Liv said, but she slipped off her boots and dove under the blankets.
“Better?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Caleb toed off his shoes. At least it wasn’t gonna look weird that he was keeping all his clothes on. He eyed the floor, finally settling on the thin strip at the base of the bed. He might almost fit there.
He grabbed a pillow and the thinnest of the blankets. At least, he tried. Liv’s hand shot out, snatching the end of it. “What are you doing?”
“You expect me to sleep on the floor without any blankets?”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor. This bed is huge. And I’m wearing every single article of clothing I own. It’s not like we’re going to have accidental sleep sex.” She shivered.
He was so cold his balls had disappeared inside his body. But his ears were working fine, and that last word echoed inside his head. Sex. Sex. Sex.
“You just don’t want to give up any blankets,” he said, trying to remember that he was too cold to be turned on. But Liv’s hair was spread out on the pillow, exactly the way he’d pictured it, and he was getting warmer by the second.
“Come on,” she said. “Get in bed.”
He didn’t let himself think. He switched off the lights, flipped back the covers, and slid onto the edge of the mattress, as far as possible from Liv.
He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly.
Liv was right. The bed was so big that he really couldn’t tell she was there, and the mattress was surprisingly comfortable. He focused on his breathing. In, then out. In, then out. After the stress of the day, his body welcomed the chance to stop thinking, taking him straight toward the convenient oblivion of sleep.
“You surprised me today.”
“Huh?” He jerked awake at the sound of Liv’s voice.
“The vows you wrote. You’re a better liar than I thought you’d be.”
He shifted, suddenly aware of a lump in the mattress. “You say that like it’s a good thing.”
“Sometimes it is a good thing. Without little white lies, Nonna Hazel would know no one likes her calzone.”
“Then we wouldn’t have to choke those doughy balls of indigestion down anymore.”
“Choking down Nonna Hazel’s calzone is a time-honored family tradition.” Liv’s teeth chattered.
You could warm her up.
Caleb tensed, not allowing his body to stray a centimeter closer to Liv. She’d warm up soon.
“But we’re not talking about Nonna Hazel, we’re talking about you. How did Captain Integrity get so good at stretching the truth?”
It’s in my DNA. “Everybody lies, Livvy. Like you said, without those little white lies Nonna Hazel would know her calzone taste like feet, and the entire family structure would crumble.”
“Yeah, but—”
“It’s late. Go to sleep.”
“I can’t. I’m freezing.”
“Give it a minute.”
“Talk to me.” She shivered. “Distract me from the fact that I’m about to die of frostbite.”
“It’s not that cold.”
“Tell me a secret. Something true. Something no one else knows.”
His jaw clenched, his body doing its best to make sure his mouth stayed safely shut. “I don’t have any secrets.”
“Everybody has secrets. Just like everybody lies.”
I’ve wanted you in my bed since I was sixteen years old. The thought popped into his head, sudden and unexpected, a secret even from himself.
“What?” Liv asked.
“Nothing.”
She nudged him with an ice-cold foot. “You thought of something. I could totally tell.”
“Yeah.” Panic made his voice thick, but there was nothing to do but keep going. “I was thinking that if you don’t shut up, I’m never going to get to sleep.”
“Nice try, Captain Integrity, but I don’t buy it.”
He held silent. There was no reason to panic. She couldn’t make him talk.
“Okay. If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll guess. Let’s see. What don’t you want me to know?” She was silent for a moment, except for her teeth, which were clacking together. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
It hadn’t gotten any warmer in the room, but he started to sweat.
“You’ve been—”
“Come here.” He pulled her against him, and the rest of that sentence he was afraid to let her finish transformed into a surprised squeak.
“Damn.” He sucked in a breath as her ice-cold palm met his shoulder. “You really are freezing. You need to get some body fat.”
“You say the sweetest things.” She plastered herself against his chest like he was her personal heat lamp. “Not that I’m complaining, but how can you possibly be this warm?”
How could he not when she was there, as close as a second skin? At least she’d stopped digging for his secret.
“I’ve always run hot,” he said.
She relaxed against him, all the tension draining from her body to make room for sleep. “I was wrong, you know.”
“About what?”
She yawned. Her voice grew softer. Slower. “What I said before. About you being a good liar.”
He tensed, but she was silent, her breathing deep and even against his chest. Just as he’d decided she was asleep, she spoke again. “You’re a terrible liar, Captain Integrity. But don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
She snuggled closer. A distant part of him wondered what she meant. But it was hard to worry with her breasts soft against his chest. Even as she slept, one hand gripped his shirt, like she was afraid someone might be coming to take him away.
He knew she only wanted him for his body heat. Knew he couldn’t let himself have her even if she did want more.
Still, he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. Traced the soft curve of her cheek with his gaze and committed it to memory. In one week, Ella would be married and their charade would be over.
But, for tonight, Liv was his. And he’d have the memory of the way she felt in his arms forever.
CHAPTER 14
THE ORGANIST LAUNCHED into the first chord of Wagner’s Bridal Chorus, and Liv straightened, trying to shake off her nerves. It was th
e moment of truth.
She shrugged off the shawl she’d been huddled under all morning as she and the other bridesmaids had their hair and makeup done, took the limo to church, and gathered in the vestibule they were using as a staging area.
Heather saw it first. Her eyes widened, and she looked from the tattoo to Ella, then back again.
Ella took a break from adjusting her tiara, following Heather’s gaze toward Liv. She sucked in a breath. “What on earth is that?” She wet a finger in her mouth and scrubbed at the tattoo.
“Ow!” Liv pulled away. “It’s real, okay? It’s not going to come off.”
“You got a tattoo?” Ella stared at the ink, eyes wide, like it was her first glimpse of the new David Lance collection at Fashion Week. “Wow. When you finally commit, you do it for real.”
“I—”
“Girls?” The high, nervous voice of the wedding coordinator saved Liv from replying. “It’s time to begin the processional. You first, Olivia.”
“Don’t walk too fast,” Ella hissed. “And for the love of Godiva chocolate, don’t slouch. Remember what we practiced.”
“Got it.” For once, Ella’s micromanagement didn’t give Liv the urge to throw down. Ella had already forgotten about the tattoo. With any luck, the rest of the family would find it similarly unimportant.
Liv held her head high as she entered the nave. Caleb was waiting for her at the end of the peach silk runner, and damn. He was wearing the hell out of that tuxedo.
He took her arm, and the remaining vestiges of her nerves vanished, even as the inevitable whispers started. Claire let out a surprised laugh that she quickly cut off. Nonna Hazel stood to get a better view.
Liv didn’t falter. She let Caleb lead her, strong and smooth and full of purpose, to their places on either side of the altar.
The whispers were almost as loud as the organ, but there were only two people whose reaction Liv cared about. She held her breath as she scanned the peach-silk-covered pews, finding her parents at the far end of the front row. Her dad shook his head as he surveyed the ink, but he looked affectionately exasperated rather than truly angry. Her mom caught her eye and winked.
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