So when Caleb agreed to a drink after they’d finished their dinner at Baker Street Bistro the next evening, she knew exactly where she was going to take him.
“I’ll drive.” She held out her hand for his keys as they walked to the parking lot.
“You want to drive my car?”
“I am capable of driving. I’ve had my license for six years now.”
“You also have two points on your driving record.”
“Checking up on me?” she asked, sweetly.
“You know how Rafe likes to gossip.” Caleb tried to slide into the shadows, but the parking lot was well lit, making the ruddy tint in his cheeks beyond obvious.
She grinned. “Captain Integrity blushing. Now I really have seen it all.”
“Fine.” He slapped the keys into her palm. “You can drive. But I reserve the right to take over if you do anything crazy.”
“You’re cute when you’re nervous.” She slid into the driver’s seat. The leather was soft and luxurious, and it held the rugged, masculine scent she associated with Caleb. She took a surreptitious breath as she adjusted the seat and mirrors, and clicked on her seat belt. Once Caleb was situated, she pulled out of the lot, making sure to keep under the speed limit. Five minutes later, she pulled into an empty space right in front of her destination—a warehouse with blackened windows.
Caleb looked around, taking in the empty lot to one side and the convenience store on the other. “Where are we?”
“This, my friend, is Revel.”
His gaze locked onto the bouncer, who was carding a woman in a sparkly mini-dress, and the shutters over his eyes slammed shut. “I thought we were going to get a drink.”
“We are.” They were going to do a lot more than that, though. Last night in bed was the first time she’d seen him fully let go, and it had been glorious. She wanted to show him it was safe to do that even when he wasn’t behind closed doors. That the world wasn’t going to end if he had a couple of drinks and forgot he was Captain Integrity.
Or maybe it was more selfish. Maybe she wanted another glimpse of the man who’d made her feel things she’d never thought possible. The man who wasn’t as different from her as Caleb had always pretended to be.
Either way, it didn’t matter, because Caleb was clearly not on board. He eyed the metal door leading inside Revel like it was the entrance to hell itself.
She’d pushed him too far. Too fast.
“It’s okay.” She fumbled with the key, trying to get it into the ignition, and it fell to the floor. “We’ll go somewhere else.”
Caleb grabbed it in one smooth movement. “No. You wanted to come here.” His voice was carefully devoid of emotion, but his focused stare told Liv he might not be as turned off by the idea of Revel as she’d thought.
“I do have plans for you on that dance floor.” She slanted him a grin. “And…after the dance floor.”
He twirled the key ring around his index finger.
“Your call.” She forced her muscles perfectly still, not even letting herself breathe, because she didn’t want to influence Caleb’s decision. This wasn’t only about a night out dancing. She didn’t know what kind of demons haunted him, but he was in a full-fledged internal brawl with them right now. And the outcome would affect much more than whether or not she got her groove on tonight.
“Okay,” he said, and she finally drew in a breath. “Let’s get a drink.”
*
The inside of Revel was a felony waiting to happen. The driving beat of the music pounded through Caleb’s blood and the darkness beckoned him. It’s all right. Let go. No one will ever know.
He couldn’t breathe.
He stopped, taking shelter from the crowd in a narrow alcove, but he couldn’t escape the pulsing flash of the lights. The music and laughter. The heat of too many bodies packed into a room. How many nights had his parents spent in places like this, drinking and getting high and feeding off the manic energy until they lost control completely?
“I shouldn’t have come here.” He was talking to himself, but Liv must’ve heard, because she came in front of him.
“Why not?” There was no hint of judgment in her voice, only concern.
He tried to form the words she’d expect. Not my scene. I don’t belong here. “It’s not good for me. Being around this energy. I feel…out of control.”
She laid one hand over his heart. The wild pounding in his chest slowed. He drew in a full breath.
Damn. He was a serious mess if Liv was calming him.
“Don’t worry.” She curled one arm around his neck, lifting onto her toes so that she could speak directly into his ear instead of yelling over the music. “I’m not drinking tonight. I’ll make sure things don’t get too crazy.”
“How are you gonna do that?”
“Worried I can’t handle you?” Her smile was full of wicked promises. “I managed last night.”
He swallowed. Tried to focus on the music, but even though it was blaring from the speakers, it still wasn’t loud enough to drown out Liv’s words, which were playing on repeat inside his head, reminding him exactly how well she’d handled him in the bedroom last night.
“Let’s get a drink.” Her palm traced down his chest.
He sucked in a breath. The heat of her. She set him on fire and made him crave the flames.
“One drink,” he grated out.
“One drink.” She said something else, but a heavy bass riff obscured the words. It didn’t matter, because all he had to do was let her lead the way.
They found a place at the bar and the bartender lip-read their order. True to her word, Liv was drinking water.
The music pounded around them, creating an invisible wall, the darkness obscuring everyone outside it. Caleb took a pull of his beer and let his tension drift away. This was why he’d come. Because he craved Liv. Because last night hadn’t been enough.
She leaned into him. He brushed his lips over hers, and that need that had been lying dormant roared to life.
“Hey, babe. Lookin’ good.”
Caleb froze. He hadn’t spoken to CJ since their encounter outside Permanent Ink, but he’d recognize that I’m-the-center-of-the-universe tone anywhere.
He turned slowly, keeping full-body contact with Liv. CJ was two feet away, which was several hundred miles closer than Caleb was okay with.
The opening band finished their set, and the lights went from midnight to dusk. The recorded music playing as the crew readied the stage for the main act was only half the volume the live music had been.
Good. The hipster prince would be sure to hear what Caleb had to say. “I thought I told you to disappear.”
CJ’s shit-eating grin faded. Then he looked around. When he saw how many witnesses were present, the grin came right back. “I didn’t think you’d be here. No offense, man, but it’s not your scene.”
“You have no idea what my scene is.”
CJ shrugged. Instead of getting out of the danger zone while he had the chance, he turned to Liv. His gaze slithered over her bare skin like it had a right to be there.
Fury screamed through Caleb’s veins. He took a deep breath, locking his muscles down tight so he wouldn’t do anything stupid. “You need to leave. Now.”
CJ’s gaze wandered up Liv’s chest, making a brief stop at her cleavage before finding her left arm, where the edge of the tattoo peeked out from under her sleeve. “My name looks good on your skin.”
Caleb growled. “You little—”
Liv pushed him back before he could… Shit. He wasn’t sure what he’d been about to do. Tackle CJ?
His heart thundered in his chest, pumping out massive quantities of adrenaline. All he could think about was the satisfying crunch his fist would make when it connected with CJ’s jaw.
“You know,” Liv spoke calmly, facing CJ head on, a model of maturity while Caleb was regressing back to a cave man. “When I first saw the tattoo I was upset. It definitely wasn’t the design I would
’ve chosen. But it turned out to be exactly the wake-up call I needed. Now I’m finally starting my design business, and I have a much healthier relationship with my parents. And, of course, I have Caleb.”
Caleb pulled her closer. Rested his hand on the curve of her hip and let his arm brush her breast, because he wasn’t calm and mature. Not with CJ this close.
CJ’s eyes narrowed. “Hey, if you’re happy with that poser, you got my blessing. I’ll even help you guys out.” Heedless of the danger, he stepped into Caleb’s space, alcohol fumes wafting from his skin. “Thing is, this little vixen likes it freaky. You wanna keep her satisfied, you gotta—”
“Enough.” It was hard to form the word. The only thing his brain was wired to do right now was fight.
“Hey, man. Jus’ trying to help.”
“And when I told you to stay away from Liv, I was trying to help you. But you didn’t listen.”
“I can’t help it if all the chicks want me.” CJ ran his hand up Liv’s arm.
Caleb surged forward, crashing through a lifetime of rules and politeness. “Get your hands off her.”
“Or what?” CJ tightened his grip, his skinny fingers digging into the delicate skin at Liv’s wrist.
Rage burst through Caleb’s chest. CJ flew backward. Glasses shattered. Someone screamed.
Pain stung Caleb’s knuckles, and the knowledge hit him all at once. He’d punched CJ.
Satisfaction roared through his veins.
He stalked forward. CJ wouldn’t touch Liv again. Caleb would make sure—
“Hey!” Someone yanked his arms behind his back. “Don’t make me call the cops.”
“I am the cops.”
“And I’m a brain surgeon.”
He jerked away from his captor, but then Liv was in front of him. “Caleb, please. You have to calm down.”
He focused on her eyes—brimming with concern, but right there in front of him. She was all right.
“Okay.” Deep breath in. Deep breath out. “Okay.” He forced his muscles to relax. To walk toward the unmarked door the bouncer was trying to herd him through.
“You’re out for the night,” the guy said. “I see you again, I call the cops.”
The cool air brought him the rest of the way back to himself. He’d gotten thrown out of a club for fighting. And it had been so easy. Felt so good.
Shit. Shit.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb managed. “You won’t see me again.”
The door slammed shut, leaving him alone with Liv in the alley behind Revel.
She hurried to his side. “Are you all right? I can’t believe you did that!”
Even the dim lighting wasn’t enough to camouflage the reddish ring circling her wrist. Caleb cracked his knuckles, all too aware of the adrenaline still flooding his system. “He hurt you.”
“I’m fine.” She wrapped her arms around him. “See?”
He could feel her, strong and alive and right there with him, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to lay her on his bed and make sure every part of her was all right. With his eyes and hands and lips. With his whole body.
But it wasn’t only about making sure she was okay. It was all confused in his head, the need to protect her wrapped up with the desire for that reckless freedom he felt whenever they were together.
And—shit—that was exactly what had gotten him into trouble tonight. He was in too deep. How was he ever going to dig himself out when this was over?
He tore himself away from Liv. Took a step back and forced in a deep breath, even though the alley smelled like piss, vomit, and cigarettes.
She gave him a small smile. “I’ve never seen you punch anyone. Was that your first time?”
He tried to nod, but he couldn’t allow himself even a white lie right now. “No.”
“Really? Who was it? One of my brothers?”
“No.”
“That no neck guy from the football team who called everyone a cunt bucket?”
“It wasn’t anyone at school.” The aches and bruises that had been masked by adrenaline suddenly decided to make themselves known. He rubbed a sore spot on the back of his neck. “Drop it, okay?”
“Are you kidding me? I just learned Captain Integrity used his fists instead of his words, and you want me to drop it? Tell me who it was.”
He’d never told anyone. Never even considered it. But his protective barriers had been obliterated, and Liv was focused squarely on him, and he couldn’t stop the words from flowing. “My father. He punched me in the jaw. I hit him back.”
Liv’s eyes went wide. She laid a hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
He swallowed. “It was only the one time. Generally he and my mom just ignored me.”
He’d meant that last part as a joke, but the mood went as dark as the night around them.
“Oh, Caleb.” She rubbed his arm absently, her entire focus on his eyes. “No wonder you’re so angry.”
“I’m not angry.”
“You hide it from everyone. Maybe even yourself. And you do a great job of it. I never would have questioned your Captain Integrity facade before last night, and I’ve known you for nineteen years. But when we’re close I feel it inside you, searching for a way out.”
His whole body tensed. Because he felt it too. He always felt it when he was around Liv, and it scared the hell out of him. “Don’t worry.” He wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or her. “That thing with CJ… Nothing like that is going to happen again. I’m not like my father.”
For a second she stared at him, brow wrinkled. Then she hurled herself at him. Wrapped her arms so tight around him he could pretend she wasn’t ever going to let go. “Of course you’re not. You’re nothing like him.” Her heart beat strong against his chest. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not angry. God, Caleb—after what you’ve been though, anyone would be. You can’t keep it all inside or it’s going to explode. Because it’s not only anger you’re trying to bury. It’s your natural energy and spontaneity and fire. It’s you. You can’t hide who you are.”
He took a shuddering breath. Liv was right. He couldn’t keep going the way he was. And he definitely couldn’t bring a wife and kids into the mix, knowing what a fragile hold he had on his self-control.
It was time to stop pretending. To be the person he really was, even if it meant he’d live his life alone.
But, right now, he wasn’t alone. He was with Liv.
Let her go. Don’t drag her down with you.
He tried to push her away, but she was holding on too tight.
She was so soft. So close that every time he inhaled, he got a hit of that exotic-flower scent.
“It’s okay to let someone help you,” she whispered.
“I don’t want to mess up your life.”
“You won’t. I won’t let you.” She said it like it was that simple.
And maybe it was. Liv wasn’t a delicate flower he could crush with one misstep. She was the strongest woman he knew.
Maybe he didn’t have to do this alone.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
With her lips inches from his, no power on earth could have stopped him from giving her what she wanted. He brushed his lips against hers.
He couldn’t stop with one kiss. He could never stop with her.
He kissed her until she was arching against him, tearing a groan out of his throat.
“Let’s go home,” she whispered in his ear, her soft breath making him desperate.
He didn’t think. Didn’t hesitate. “Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER 18
THE SOUTH LAKE bowling alley smelled like popcorn, beer, and old shoes. But with Caleb at her side, Liv was exactly where she wanted to be.
Well, maybe not exactly where she wanted to be. She’d prefer a location with a bed. And a door she could shut, so her entire family wasn’t watching.
“How soon until we can get out of here?” She whispered the question in Caleb’s ear, so that her n
osy brothers wouldn’t hear. And, once she was that close, her hand found his chest. Lingered there, so she could feel the vibrations as he spoke.
“We’re only on the second frame, honey. It’s gonna be a while.”
She sighed. She didn’t want to hurl some stupid ball at a bunch of pins. She wanted to rip off Caleb’s shirt and do a thorough examination of his chest without all that cotton in the way. Kind of like the way she’d done this morning. And last night.
They’d spent every night together since they’d left Revel three days ago. And though they hadn’t had the official are-you-my-boyfriend discussion, she could feel Caleb’s commitment in every word he spoke to her. Every glance. Every touch.
“You were the one who wanted to go bowling with your family,” he reminded her.
“I wouldn’t say I wanted to.” She directed her frustration at Rafe, who was strolling over with baby Becca in a front carrier strapped to his chest. “It was more like I was commanded to make an appearance.”
“Your turn, Livvy. Think you can tear yourself away from your boy toy for long enough to put some numbers on the board?”
She bristled. “He’s not a toy. He’s a person I’m in a relationship with.”
“Relax. It was a joke.” Rafe herded her away from Caleb and toward the ball return. But before she could retrieve the pink ball she was using, he was mid-lecture. “You know I love you. But Caleb is one of my best friends. And he’s into you. Bad.”
“Good. Because I’m into him.”
“For now.” Rafe’s gaze fell to the tattoo, easily visible thanks to the tank top she’d fashioned out of a vintage bowling shirt, and the problem became clear.
“You’ve been talking to Nonna Hazel.”
“No,” Rafe said, but his face went red. “Okay, yes. But you have to admit that Nonna has good instincts. What’s the longest you’ve been with a guy? Two months?”
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