by L. A. Witt
You were there the whole time, and I am so glad you’re here now.
He pushed his hand between us. I shivered hard enough to break the kiss, and he went straight for my neck, letting his lips skate up and down as he struggled with my zipper. Then his hand was around my cock, and everything went white for a couple of seconds. After needing him so badly for the last few days, having him was overwhelming. His soft lips. His hot and cool breath. His strong, warm fingers around my dick. It was too much, and I wanted more.
I licked my lips. “Get on your knees, sir.”
Brent whimpered softly against my throat, and it was like his knees just buckled out from under him. He sank to my feet, running his hands down my body as he went, and he’d barely settled on the floor before he took my cock in his mouth.
God, that was a beautiful sight: Brent on his knees, eagerly sucking my dick. I kept a hand on the back of his head and fucked his mouth. He moaned, digging his nails into my hips, and took every thrust I gave him. I was careful not to gag him, and my hand was only resting lightly in his hair, but the forcefulness always seemed to turn him on as much as it did me.
And if he turned me on much more than he already had, this would be over before it started. I fully intended to go more than once tonight, but why rush it?
“Get up,” I half ordered, half begged.
Brent stayed on his knees a few seconds longer, long enough to tease the head of my cock and almost get me off, before he finally stood.
I gripped his throat—not enough to choke him, but enough that he knew my hand was there—and he moaned into my kiss. I used my body to pin him to the wall, and he slid his hands up my sides as we kept right on kissing. How the fuck had I gone more than one night without tasting him? Jesus.
“You know,” he panted, “I can see why this is considered conduct unbecoming a gentleman.”
“Yeah?” I met his gaze. His gleaming, lust-filled gaze. “Why’s that?”
He gripped my ass cheeks, digging his nails in, and grinned. “’Cause there is nothing gentlemanly about sex with you.”
I rubbed my cock against his thigh. “Doesn’t sound like you’re complaining?”
“Not at all.” He kneaded my butt again. “This is how I like it. And I fucking missed it while I was gone.”
“You and me both.” I leaned down and flicked my tongue in the divot where his collarbones met, and he sucked in a breath.
“God . . .” He shuddered, then blurted out, “I want you to fuck me. Been . . . thinking about it all day.”
Oh yeah. Fuck yeah. Somehow, I played it cool. “Do you?”
“Uh-huh.”
I nipped his neck. “How do you want it?”
“Hard.”
Couldn’t argue with that.
In the bedroom, I quickly relieved him of his clothes. As soon as mine were off, he grabbed a condom and put it on me, and I wasted no time shoving him over the bed and pushing his legs apart with my knee. He gasped, arching as he clutched at the sheets.
I’d barely teased his hole with my cock when he moaned, “Harder.”
Laughing softly, I teased him more mercilessly. “I’m not even in you yet.”
“I know.” He looked over his shoulder and leaned back against me. “Come on.”
Well hell. Who was I to argue with a man who wanted my dick inside him?
I worked myself in, and his desperate little whimpers drove me wild. As I picked up speed, he only got louder, and so did I. Every sound either of us made was primal and hungry. Low, throaty groans. Ragged curses. Grunts that were probably equal parts pain and pleasure.
He was right—there was nothing gentlemanly about this, and I loved it. I loved the sheer raunchiness of it. How he didn’t just let me throw him around, he reveled in it.
The only downside? I couldn’t see his face, and I wouldn’t get to watch him come. So I pulled out and nudged his hip. “Turn over. I want to see you.”
Brent pushed himself up, wobbling a little, and turned onto his back on the edge of the bed. He spread his legs wide, offering his hole to me again and exposing his cock and balls. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that was exactly what I wanted.
As I slid back in, his face was the picture of pure bliss—lips apart as he moaned, eyes squeezed shut, skin flushed. I couldn’t resist, and pulled all the way out before taking the long, deep stroke inside again.
“C’mon,” he pleaded. “Hard.”
Groaning with pleasure and exertion, I gave it to him hard, knocking cries and grunts out of him every time I slammed home. How I hadn’t come already, I had no idea. Turned on as I was, losing my mind as I thrust into this beautiful, horny man, I should’ve come three times already.
“Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut and arched under me. “You feel so good.”
“So do you.” It didn’t get any better than this. Here in my bed, naked and debauched and making each other sweat and tremble, buried to the hilt inside Brent, I was . . .
I was . . .
Why does this feel more like home than the place I grew up?
His eyelids slid open, and he looked up at me with blown pupils. Grinning, he reached for my face. His fingertips on my cheek sent a shiver through me.
Because he’s here. That’s why.
I leaned down as much as I could, and he pushed himself up to meet me halfway, and I kissed him. He returned the kiss hungrily, slinging an arm around my neck for support, and we moved together and breathed together, and it didn’t feel like we’d been on opposite sides of the continent a few hours ago. Of course we were here. We’d always been here. Or at least it felt that way. If we hadn’t been, we should’ve been, and we were now, and it was perfect.
With a strangled cry, Brent broke the kiss and dropped back onto the mattress. “Yeah. Just like . . .” He bit his lip and rocked his hips. “Fuck, Will. I’m so close.”
I gritted my teeth and gave it to him hard and fast, just the way he loved it, and my head spun as I watched him fall apart below me. His breath came in rapid, uneven gasps. His nails dug into my arms. He screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip so hard I was amazed it didn’t bleed, and then—
“Oh yeah.” His hips bucked up, nearly knocking me off-balance, and that first jet of cum on his stomach set off my orgasm. I thrust into him, nearly shoving the mattress right off the bed frame, and the sound that escaped my throat didn’t begin to convey the pleasure surging through me, but I couldn’t get enough air for more than a soft whimper.
Then everything was still. I leaned over him, holding myself up on shaking arms since my legs were this close to useless, and he wrapped his around me.
“I seriously missed you,” he murmured before kissing me softly.
“Me too.” I met his gaze. “Hope you’re game to go more than once tonight.”
Brent’s lips pulled into a sexy, almost drunken grin. “Bring it.”
We both laughed. After we’d shared one more lazy kiss—okay, three more—I carefully pulled out, and we made a clumsy effort to clean ourselves up before collapsing on top of the covers together.
Ahh, this was what I’d been missing for the last few days—lying here naked in bed with Brent half against me, half draped over me.
I pulled him a little closer. It was a damn shame we couldn’t keep doing this without sinking both of our careers.
Except not doing this had stopped being an option. Somewhere along the way, in between sneaking in and out of each other’s apartments under the cover of darkness, this had turned into something else. If it had started out as something neither of us could walk away from, then God knew what it was now, but walking away sure as shit wasn’t an option.
I closed my eyes and savored being beside him.
I can’t believe how much I missed you.
The weekend we’d spent in Portland had made me wonder. The holiday I’d spent with my parents had driven it home.
Fact was, there was no way in hell I wasn’t falling for him.
I couldn’t fall f
or him. Absolutely couldn’t.
But God help me, I also couldn’t stop myself.
Admittedly, it was good to be back at work. I still hated the drudgery of my job and the endless bland gray of the base, but being back at the office meant I was back in Anchor Point. It meant the occasional sext with Will wasn’t just something to jerk off to later—he was here in town, and tonight, one of us would be in the other’s bed.
The phone on my desk rang. Commander Wilson’s extension came up on the caller ID, so I didn’t bother with the generic greeting.
“Yes, sir?”
“Lieutenant, could I see you in my office?”
Always something. “Yes, sir. On my way.”
I got up and headed down the hall. Chances were, he had more work for me to do, but that was fine. A visit with Commander Wilson usually meant a new project, and a new project meant more to keep me busy. That would make the day go by faster.
Whatever you’ve got, Commander, sign me up. Nothing is killing my good mood.
His office was open, so I paused in the doorway. “You wanted to see me, sir?”
“Yes.” He gestured at the chairs in front of his desk. “Shut the door and have a seat.”
My gut clenched, but I figured it was a knee-jerk reaction. The deep-seated childhood response to Mom or Dad saying, I need to talk to you. Besides, conversations behind closed doors weren’t that unusual here. His tone was a little weird, though.
With the door shut, I sat down and tried not to look too wound up.
Wilson shifted in his own chair, a flicker of pain tightening his lips. How he dealt with that every fucking day was beyond me.
When he finally seemed to be as comfortable as he was going to get, he looked at me across the desk. “I need you to be honest with me about something, Lieutenant.”
My oh shit gut clench came back with a vengeance. “Uh. Okay?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. He opened his mouth like he was going to ask a question, but hesitated. Lips quirked, he stared at his desk for a moment, then started again. “You’re aware of how small and incestuous a base like this really is, aren’t you?”
I tried not to fidget. “Yeah?”
“It’s not like Norfolk or San Diego. It’s a safe bet most people here are separated by two or three degrees at most.” His eyebrows rose. “Am I right?”
“Yes, sir.” What the hell?
He drummed his fingers on the desk. “For example, did you know that my husband’s ex-brother-in-law is moving to town to live with his boyfriend, and that his boyfriend is active duty?”
I had no idea where he was going with this, but I was nervous as fuck. “Uh. No. No, sir. I didn’t.”
He looked me right in the eye. “His boyfriend is Chief Jackson. A master-at-arms.”
Oh fuck . . .
“I see, sir.”
Do you really? his eyes asked.
He let me squirm for a moment before he spoke again. “How long did you think you and Senior Chief Curtis could keep this a secret?”
I cringed. “Uh . . .”
He exhaled. “Damn it. I was really hoping you were going to tell me I was wrong.”
“Would you have believed me?”
“Considering I’m just going off rumors?” He shrugged. “Maybe?”
“What rumors, anyway? Did Chief Jackson say something?”
“No, I was making the point that it’s a very small world on a base like this. The rumors . . . I couldn’t tell you where they started. Someone apparently saw you leaving Curtis’s apartment at two in the morning.” He inclined his head. “On three separate occasions.”
Shit. One camera phone picture and we were fucked.
I had no idea what to say.
“I’m not judging, Lieutenant.” Wilson’s tone was surprisingly gentle. “And I get it—these things happen. I’ve told you before about my best friend. The old CO on this base who retired so he could be with the man he’s now married to. So don’t think I’m taking this lightly. I’m not unsympathetic, and I know it isn’t easy. But . . . the UCMJ is very clear.”
I nodded. “I know it is.”
“I’m also not going to ask if you knew he was enlisted before you started seeing him, or . . .” Wilson shook his head. “Look, the fact is, you’re one of the best young officers I’ve worked with in a long time. You’re bright, you’re committed—hell, I’ve seen you throw yourself into work that we both know you hated, because that’s your work ethic. You probably have more potential than even you realize.” He made an apologetic gesture, and his wedding ring caught the light. “I don’t want to see you throw that away.”
The words fuck my potential were closer to the tip of my tongue than they’d ever been. It was irrational, and I knew it. I was frustrated and didn’t want to acknowledge that Will and I were screwed no matter what.
“I understand, sir.” I paused. “Does it make sense to you, though?” I struggled to hold his gaze. “You and your husband work down the hall from each other, and no one bats an eye. I’m dating someone who doesn’t even work in this building or in my chain of command, and it’s enough to kill my career.”
Wilson pursed his lips. “Yeah. I know. Believe me. And to tell you the truth, I don’t know why that particular fraternization rule still exists. But as long as it does exist, you need to be careful.”
“Guess I can’t argue with that.”
“I’m going to trust you to do what needs to be done.” His lips tightened into a subtle grimace. “But if this continues, and someone besides me finds out, there isn’t much I’ll be able to do to help you.”
I nodded. “I know. Thank you, sir.”
“Dismissed.”
I got up, left his office, and numbly headed back to my office. There, I shut the door behind me, sank into my chair, and let my elbows thunk onto my metal desk. Groaning, I rubbed my temples. Shit. This was bad.
We’d been discreet, though, hadn’t we? Hell, I didn’t think it was possible to be more discreet. We’d never stayed at the other’s place overnight. We never spoke at work unless we could convincingly hide it under official business. We sure as fuck never went out in public together unless we were in another city. What more could we have done?
Talk about missing the point. Wilson hadn’t confronted me so I’d be more careful and work harder to keep things with Will out of sight. He’d confronted me so I’d do the smart thing. If another rumor came his way, or someone actually caught me or Will with a smartphone as we tiptoed out of the other’s apartment, or that kiss we’d shared in the Japanese garden in Portland appeared in the background of some viral video of a pigeon doing backflips . . .
Shit.
I was lucky he was giving me this much slack. He was putting his own neck on the line by letting me correct the situation instead of having me hemmed up. If it came out that he knew and didn’t do anything, he could be in deep shit right along with us.
I wished like hell those rumors had made it to my commander a lot sooner. Before I’d let myself get in this far over my head. It was one thing to know we were breaking the rules. It was another to realize that someone with the power to fuck up my career was onto us.
But this wakeup call had come way too late in the game.
Walk away from Will? I hadn’t been able to do it back when it was just sex.
How the hell was I supposed to do it now?
It wasn’t unusual for Brent to collapse and be a little quiet after we’d fucked, but this was different. He’d gotten up to get rid of the condom, and ever since he’d settled into bed again, he’d been someplace else. Not rejecting my touches, but not exactly welcoming them either. Which, after he’d been so voracious a few minutes ago, was weird.
I lifted myself up on my elbow and trailed the backs of my fingers down his chest. “Hey. You still with me?”
He shook himself. As he met my gaze, he smiled, but it wasn’t very convincing. “Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?”
He
opened his mouth like he was going to insist everything was fine. Then he exhaled and rubbed his eyes. “My commander’s onto us.”
My throat constricted. “Uh, come again?”
“He . . .” Brent sighed, lowering his hand. “He knows about you. Not just that I’m seeing an enlisted guy. You.”
I stared at him in horror. “How?”
“Rumors. I guess someone saw me leaving your place in the middle of the night.”
A chill ran through me. There were a few service members in this complex, but I hadn’t realized any of them knew me or Brent. “Shit.”
“Yeah. And, I mean, he knows, but he’s not going to do anything about it. Not right now, anyway.” He swallowed. “He was basically telling me that if someone else finds out, there’s nothing he can do.”
I grimaced. That sounded distinctly like something I’d told Noah back when his drinking had been out of control. Who knew I’d be eating those words? “So what do we do?”
Brent slid his hand over the top of mine. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to stop doing this. I know we should, but . . .”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” I avoided his eyes but didn’t pull my hand free. “I won’t lie. I’m . . . not sure if I can keep doing this.”
Brent sighed heavily. “Yeah. The secrecy is exhausting.”
I winced. I wasn’t surprised he’d agreed with me, but hearing him say it was harder than I’d expected. Maybe I’d thought he’d come up with some solution that only an optimistic kid could think of—and an older jaded guy needed to hear—and we could make this work after all. Because I wanted to believe we could still make this work.
Knowing he was as tired as I was? And that his commander was onto us? My own optimism was taking on water, and fast.
This was the point when we both should’ve gotten up, gotten dressed, and moved on like we should have the first night. I’d always played things by the book because my career was everything to me. Making master chief would be a pipe dream if I kept sneaking into Brent’s bed.
But damn if I could help myself. He was everything Vince wasn’t. Even in the early days when Vince and I had been as in love as Anthony and Noah were now, it hadn’t felt like this. If things had been half as risky with Vince as they were with Brent, we wouldn’t have lasted a month. Brent and I were still hanging in there, though, because despite all the risk and frustration, it was worth it whenever we found ourselves like this. Every time I was lying next to him, my body aching and satisfied, everything seemed right. Like this was how it should be, UCMJ be damned.