It feels so wrong to just walk out, but part of me is relieved that I can apologize to Jean when my head’s on straight, not now, when I’m a mess.
“Merry Christmas, Norah. I hope everything works out for you.” He steps back.
“Me, too.”
Almost an hour drive and nothing but Christmas music on the radio. This means I’m going to have way too much time to think about what just happened.
Five minutes into the drive and I can’t take my thoughts anymore, so I call Tabby. My voice of reason or insanity—depending on what I need from her at any given time, or what she wants to dish out.
I give her the brief rundown the moment she answers the phone.
“And you just ran out?” Tabby’s holding in a laugh, I can tell because she snorts a few times.
But I’m not sure what to say. I’m just trying to concentrate on the road, and what a colossal mess I just left behind.
“Are you breathing?” I don’t know how she has this tease on the edge of her voice.
“Barely.” I suck in another breath.
“So, this is like the real thing, huh?” she asks, tease gone.
“What?” My heart sprints to like a million miles an hour, and I clutch the steering wheel more tightly.
“You know, love at first sight—”
“No,” I protest.
She doesn’t even pause. “— like lightning.”
“No.”
“Meant for each other.”
“No!”
“Soulmates . . .” She’s now giggling.
“No. It can’t be. I mean, I felt it with Jacob, you know? And now . . .” Is it the same? “I don’t believe in love at first sight.”
“Really?” I can picture her now, eyebrows raised, disbelieving. “Tell me about when you met him.”
“We ran into each other. And I left my hand on his chest, and I felt . . .” Crap.
“Ha ha!” She laughs again. “It’s all in the silence. You’re totally sunk, girl.”
“What do I do? I mean, Brady’s parents have to be, I don’t even know what.” My body still physically cringes every time I picture Jean’s face. “And I’m not in love with Collin, but I think I really could be.”
“They’ll get over it.” She sounds so sure.
“And I’m just barely ready to move forward, you know?” Can I even do this? And after tonight, does he even want to?
“Give me three things you like about this guy.”
“What?”
“Three things. Tell me three things.”
Three things, three things . . .
“Eyes. That’s easy,” I say.
“Windows to the soul,” she agrees.
“His writing, Tabby. I mean, wow.” His book. Unreal. I can’t imagine knowing someone who writes like that.
“Agreed. Totally swoon-worthy, right?”
“Totally,” I say. “That whole—we’ll be okay because it’s us thing?”
“I know,” she agrees.
“And something else?”
One more thing. I only have one more thing. “My photographs. Like I was reading his book and thinking that I wanted to know where his stories came from, and then a moment later he was looking at my photographs and wanting to know more.” But I’ve left out the kissing, and I couldn’t tell her how he makes me feel just by sitting next to me, or—
“Are you thinking you wished that I let you have more than three?” she asks.
“Well, yeah.” Obviously.
She chuckles. “Sunk. Just call the guy.”
My stomach sinks. “I don’t have his number. We were staying at the same house. Besides. He followed Madeline out.” Which means I have no idea how he feels.
“You’ll find him, and when you do? I wanna meet the guy who can make my knees weak in one scene.”
“Yeah, okay.” If he’s still available after his chase and talk with the ex.
“Dinner here tomorrow?” she asks.
“Tomorrow.”
If I haven’t imploded in the insanity of what I’m feeling right now.
AFTER AN HOUR TALK WITH MADELINE, we’re both clear. I’m falling for a girl I ditched in the backyard of her nearly in-laws house, and Madeline and I will never date again. Ever. Most importantly, that feels like a good thing. A great thing.
Me telling her about how I’ve fallen for Norah brought tears to her eyes, which I hated. But it also brought realization to both of us that Madeline and Collin are over. Forever.
I jog back up the steps of the Peters’ house, wondering how horribly I’ve screwed things up with Norah.
“What the hell did you do?” Brady corners me the moment I step inside.
“What?” Only I shouldn’t say ‘What?’ I should say, ‘Which issue are you referring to?’
“My mom’s in her room, Norah left, and you two were kissing in the back yard! What did you not understand about please wait a few days?” His face holds exasperation though, not anger. Guess he got that out of his system in the thousand or so hits I took from him paintballing today. My body will never be the same.
“I’m sorry, Brady. I went out to sit with her, and it just happened.”
He sighs.
“So, where’s Norah? When will she be back?” I’m all edgy and nervous now that I know she’s not here.
“She went home.” Brady leans back against the wall, folding his arms, watching me.
“Wait. She’s not coming back?” My heart starts to speed. Why did I feel the need to leave after I kissed Norah?
Actually, I know why I left. I didn’t need Madeline to feel even worse about us. I couldn’t handle letting things end in that big of a disaster. We loved each other too long for that. I’m under no illusion that she and I will ever be friends, but at least we can both say that it was the right thing for us in the end.
But now Norah’s gone, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t worth it. I mean, Madeline and I could have talked way later. I’m brilliant at making the worst decision in any given moment—in relationships at least.
“I asked you, Collin. To keep away. Really.” Brady’s voice is filled with irritation.
“I’m sorry.” Honesty here. I’m desperate. “I can’t remember feeling this for a girl, ever. Not this fast. And I’m pretty sure I’ve completely screwed it. Please help me out.”
Brady turns and walks away.
Perfect.
I don’t have her number. I have her website, and a work email address. But I don’t want to wait. I’ve already run away from her. Maybe if I can find a way to make it to her tonight, it’ll make up for it.
“Brady.” I jog behind him to the kitchen. “I know I’ve probably screwed this from all ends, but please help me out here. A phone number, anything.”
The desire to see her is turning into more of a need with each passing minute.
He peels a piece of paper from the top of a tablet on the counter with an address scrawled on top.
“It’s almost an hour south. Close to us. I’m only doing this because I don’t think I ever saw you look at Madeline the way you looked at Norah.” He breaks eye contact for a minute, before taking a deep breath. “And after losing my brother, I really want her to be happy.”
“So, don’t screw it up, right?” I take the paper from him and start to fold it around the address.
“Or, I’ll come after you with my paintball gun.” He grins.
“Thanks, Brady.”
He nods once. “You‘d better go.”
“Yeah.” I hold up the paper, spin, and run out the front door. I’m doing this. I’m actually, really chasing this girl down on Christmas Eve, to tell her what?
Will you go out with me?
I laugh as I run down the sidewalk to my car. This definitely feels like high school all over again, and all I need to concentrate on now is to not chicken out.
When did a single hour get so long? Nothing but Christmas songs on the radio, and nothing to think about except what I s
hould say to her. Also, Norah lives close to me. Not on the next street, but twenty minutes, max. I’m thrilled.
And seeing her again. Tonight. I’ll have to apologize first, because I kissed her, and then left her outside in the snow. I’m just not sure where to go from there.
Her address is plugged into my phone, and I swear the little blinking light that is my car on the highway is barely moving to the red dot of her house. Norah’s house.
This is not at all how I planned to spend my Christmas Eve.
Now I’m in neighborhoods, and my car’s going too fast. My throat is drying out, and I wonder if I’ll be able to speak.
The pin-dot that is her house, and the blinking light that is my car now match. I’m here.
I look up the short sidewalk, and it’s so Norah. A small stucco house with an arched entry and a tiny, round, wood door. My guess is there’s an attic and maybe a small basement. My heart starts to pound.
Okay. I wanted this.
Her. Mostly. I want her, or to at least start something.
Will you go out with me? Echoes in my head again, making me laugh.
Okay. Now. Get out of the car and go.
My hand is poised in front of her door, and I still don’t now exactly what I should say. And then I knock. I don’t remember telling my brain to make my hand knock, but knock it does.
The door pulls open a crack, and then swings wide. “Collin?”
I look around me, which is a bit silly since I know I’m alone, and I know who I am. “I’m sorry.”
Her brow pulls together. “What are you sorry for? Are you sorry you’re here? Are you sorry—”
“I do not make good decisions. Often.” I push out a breath because my whole body is tense, and it’s something I think I might have some control over. “I shouldn’t have left you in the yard. It’s just that I have history with Madeline, and that would have been a really rotten final end, and I’d like to think I’m a nicer guy than that.” I rub my hands together a few times as the cold seeps through my coat. “But I swear I’m also not the guy who leaves a girl standing alone after he kisses her. Not in any kind of normal circumstances.”
Norah’s expression hasn’t changed. “Do you want to come in? Maybe you could think better or make better decisions inside rather than outside?” Now there’s a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.
“Thanks.” I step in quickly as Norah closes the door. Her home is all terracotta walls, amazing photos, and warmth. A real, wood fireplace sits in the corner. “Wow.”
“This is home.” She shrugs.
I can’t stop looking around. Textured plank wood floors, wrought iron light fixtures. Modern, but old.
“Were you saying something? Or was there something else?” She’s chewing on her lower lip.
“Yes. I.” My eyes find hers, and I forget everything for a moment. “Will you go out with me?”
Her brows rise, and she giggles.
“Okay. There aren’t words for how stupid I know that just sounded.” I laugh. “This is like. It’s just like...”
“High school,” we say at the same time.
And now silence, as we stare at one another, and the nervous tingling turns softer, smoother, into something more real.
She exhales and wipes her hands on her thighs. “Let me get your coat.”
I start to unbutton, and she takes it from me.
“Would you like to come in for a bit?” She steps back.
“One thing I’d like to do first, before I chicken out.” Now I’m the one wiping my palms.
She hangs my coat, and I step closer, but this time I know I’m going to kiss her, and I know it’s going to be great, and I plan on taking my time.
I brush my fingers through her silky hair, and rest my hand on the back of her neck. She makes a small sigh as we close the distance between us, and I lean down and press our lips together again.
And in this moment, in Norah’s house, with her hands on my shoulders, I know we’ve started something big. Something a lot bigger than going out, a lot bigger than anything I’ve done before, and a lot bigger than me.
AS I WALK THROUGH THE KITCHEN, I glance behind me again to see Collin leaning against the counter watching. We smile again, and it feels . . . easy. But also exciting and new.
“So what was your great plan in driving all this way?”
His cheeks pink slightly. “To make a fool out of myself in asking you to go out with me, a kiss, and maybe your life story.”
“Sounds like a full night,” I tease as I pour the tea I had started before Collin arrived.
“I hope so.” He nods, his eyes never wavering from mine.
I fumble with the teapot as I set it on the stove. Being watched so closely by someone whose eyes I really want on me has thrown me.
He’s behind me in a moment. “Careful.”
His breath hits my neck sending a wave of goose bumps across my skin.
“Sit?” I hand his mug to him.
“I’d love to.”
Without thinking, I lean into him as his arm goes around me and we sink into the couch together. There’s no awkward pauses or wondering what we do next. Collin and I start with our childhoods and sink lower into the couch as the night gets later. At midnight we’re still talking high school, and he’s right. I want to know it all.
At some point in time I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder, and his arm still tucked securely around me.
I blink my eyes a few times in the light of Christmas morning, and Collin and I are still tangled up on my couch from where we fell asleep last night. I can’t believe I fell asleep in jeans.
Crazy how fast this all happened. Last year with Jacob, I thought was my best year ever—the Christmas that would start the rest of my life. And it would have been. It would have been the start of a life that he and I would have had together. And I mourned that lost future for a long time.
But this year I’m starting something new, and I’m finally ready for something new—for a different kind of future to take over the old one.
“Merry Christmas.” Collin smiles through a sleepy haze and half-closed eyes.
I don’t even worry about my morning breath when I brush our lips together. “Merry Christmas.”
It’s the best start to what I hope will be a great day. Maybe something even bigger. Right now even the possibility is enough to lift me higher than I’ve been in a long time. And that feels pretty much like perfect.
NATALIE EKINS FLICKED ONE OF THE BRIGHT colored Magneto Blocks she had spread across the floor. How could so much of her future depend on a toy? A pretty lame toy, actually. She stacked a few of them together, alternating red, green, red, green and racked her brain for an idea. This was what she was going to school for, what this whole internship at Alderman Ad Agency had been about. This was her chance to get her dream job, and it was about to get blown because she knew nothing about children.
“I need that contract emailed to me in the next fifteen minutes if it’s going to make a difference,” Natalie’s boyfriend, Grant Leaver, said from where he sat at her kitchen table. Natalie stopped playing with the blocks so she could watch Grant talk on the phone. He still wore his suit from work, but he’d draped his suit coat on the back of her couch and loosened his tie. She’d met Grant almost six months before at a company party—just weeks after starting her internship—and they’d hit it off right away. He was one of the ad agency’s lawyers and was the only person she knew who was as driven as her.
“Save me, please?” Natalie pled after he hung up his cell phone with a terse goodbye.
Grant tore his gaze from his computer for a second, a black eyebrow raised against his olive forehead. “The Nat I know can save herself.”
“Yes, but look at this. Toys.”
“And . . .”
“And, I don’t know anything about kids! How am I supposed to win this thing if I can’t even figure out why this product would appeal to someone?”
“You’ll figure something out.”
Natalie ran her fingers through her blonde hair with a sigh. She’d think of something—but would it be better than what anyone else thought of? There were five other interns vying for a full time job after graduation in six months, and only one position. Robert Billings, her boss, had designed a contest using a new product from one of their clients. They were to take the product, come up with an ad campaign, and turn in their idea before the end of the year. Whoever had the best ad got a full-time job with Alderman after completing grad school in the spring.
Since Natalie got hired on, she’d been dying for a chance to work with Fantastique—Alderman’s number one client that dealt in make-up, perfume, and hair product. She’d even come up with several sexy ideas for their new cosmetic line: Luminescence.
Instead, Billings called a meeting, explained the competition, and handed out a bag of blocks. How in the world would Natalie make blocks appealing to anyone? They were the last toy she’d ever want to play with. At least give her a doll or a play make-up set. That, she could work with. Now, unless she could come up with a killer idea to sell Magneto Blocks, she’d never get on the Fantasique team.
“I need to brainstorm.” Natalie stood and walked to the kitchen, giving Grant a peck on the cheek before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “Blocks. Kids play with blocks. They stack. Bright colors. These ones have magnets on them. Why? So they stick together better? What about that feature makes it more appealing to children?”
She looked at Grant for an answer, but he’d already returned his attention back to whatever he was working on. “Grant.”
“Hmmm?” He angled his head as if to show he was listening, but his fingers still kept tapping over the keys.
“The toy? Brainstorming here?”
Grant mumbled something unintelligible, then snagged his phone before it even finished its first ring. “I still haven’t received the Archer contract,” he barked, his complete attention back on the computer.
Natalie sighed. Grant’s dedication to his work was one of the things that she liked most about him. Two driven people in a driven relationship. Together, they were going places. With him, she knew she’d never be carted around the world on humanitarian trips, uprooted every few months, always hoping there was enough money to live off of. No, with Grant she was stable. Secure. Successful.
All I Want (Three Holiday Romances) Page 6