All I Want (Three Holiday Romances)

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All I Want (Three Holiday Romances) Page 13

by Kaylee Baldwin


  Jimmy stared at the fire for a moment then turned back to her. “I dare you to jump into the pool.”

  “What?”

  Jimmy smiled in an annoyingly self-satisfied way. “I dare you to jump into that freezing cold pool.”

  “Am I wrong, or were we just having a kind of serious talk here?”

  “See? You won’t do it. Too afraid.”

  “What are we, in junior high?”

  Jimmy leaned back on his hands, a complete picture of arrogance. “Asking all these questions to avoid doing it. I knew you wouldn’t.”

  Natalie’s pride reared. “I dare you to jump in.”

  “Okay.” He popped up and headed toward the pool.

  “You’re not serious, are you?” Natalie set her plate down on the ground and jogged to catch up with him. She grabbed his arm, but he kept moving.

  “Yup. I am.”

  “Jimmy, that water is probably fifty degrees.”

  “Mmmm. Nothing like a refreshing winter swim.”

  He reached up to unlatch the pool gate. Natalie followed him in, all the while trying to wrap her brain about what he was going to do. He slid his shoes off and threw them over the fence, then pulled his shirt up over his head.

  Oh, my. If she thought his arms were muscular, they were nothing on his stomach. She ripped her gaze up from his abs when she saw his outstretched hand. “You in?”

  She stared at him. “This is crazy.”

  “Nat, are you going to spend your life always doing what’s safe? Or are you going to jump in the pool with me?”

  Natalie took a deep breath, kicked her shoes off, and grabbed his hand. “I don’t know how you always manage to get me to do insane things. Let’s do this.”

  “On the count of three. One, two . . .” And before he could get to three, he yanked Natalie’s hand and pulled her into the pool with him. The cold water stung as it soaked into her clothes and hit her body. Her lungs pulled into themselves and it took her a few seconds to catch her breath when they came up for air. The entire family stood around the gate, some cheering, some shaking their heads.

  Jimmy let out a loud whoop and pulled Natalie toward the steps. “That was freezing!”

  “Kind of numb,” Natalie said, her lips unable to move too much. “But completely awesome.”

  The trembling started when they got out of the pool and a slight breeze hit Natalie. “I c-c-can’t b-believe we d-did that.”

  “See?” Jimmy faced her, his expression turning tender. “Not a quitter.”

  “Natalie! Jimmy! What were you two thinking?” Anne came into the gate and threw Jimmy’s shirt at him. “Go take showers before you get sick. Stan has something really great planned, so hurry up. Sheesh. It’s like you two still think you’re in high school.”

  “Junior high, actually,” Jimmy said.

  “Don’t be smart. Go warm up. Now.”

  Natalie and Jimmy went into the house and to their respective bathrooms. Standing under the hot spray of the shower, Natalie’s heart gradually slowed to normal speed, but she still felt the rush of jumping into that cold water. It somehow seemed to wake her up from the funk she’d been in all day.

  Dressing in a warm sweater and jeans, Natalie pulled her wet hair into a French braid, grabbed a quilt from the linen closet, and headed back outside. Everyone sat around the bonfire chatting, including Jimmy. He smiled at her as she came up to the fire, wrapped in her blanket.

  “Everyone take a candle, please.” Stan held a brown sack filled with white candles along with silver candle holders to place them in.

  “That was kind of random,” Janessa whispered to Natalie as they walked back to their place around the fire.

  “Yeah. Your brother has a way of getting me to do things I normally would never do.”

  Janessa nodded. “It’s always been that way.”

  “Here’s a lighter,” Jimmy said before Natalie could prod Janessa to explain what she meant. Had Jimmy always brought her out of her staid shell? Somehow most of Natalie’s favorite memories from high school involved him.

  She held out her candle and Jimmy lit hers then Janessa’s before passing the candle on to Kristine.

  “Silent night, holy night,” Stan sang in his low voice. One by one, the family joined in as they lit their candles.

  Natalie soaked in the beautiful song and joined in on the second verse, once again feeling the Christmas spirit that usually eluded her this time of year. This was what Christmas was about for her. Being together with family, this warmth and peace, singing about Christ. She put her arm around Janessa’s waist and gave her a side hug, grateful that Janessa had invited her to come. Maybe Natalie’s life was a mess, but at least she had good friends to help get her through.

  She turned toward Jimmy at the beginning of “The First Noel.” His hair—still wet from his shower—dripped onto the collar of his deep blue sweater. “Cold?” she mouthed.

  He nodded.

  On an impulse, Natalie offered him one side of her huge blanket. He took it, holding his candle with the arm closest to her, and the blanket around his shoulder with the other. The heat from his body immediately warmed her more than the fire and blanket had, and Natalie relaxed and let her arm rest against his. It was a beautiful night. She felt lightheaded and giddy and swirly all at once. She wanted to run as far as she could and hold him even closer all at the same time. But instead of analyzing her feelings, she decided to just be in the moment for once. She pushed aside all thoughts of her ad, and Grant, and even the confusion about what being so close to Jimmy did to her. And for the first time in a long time, it didn’t take much convincing for her to tell herself she was happy.

  NATALIE TIPTOED DOWN THE HALL, her bag of blocks clanking against her leg with every other step. She’d been tossing and turning for the past hour, and after waking Janessa up again, she decided to get out of bed and work. Maybe if she could come up with a good idea, her mind would finally rest.

  The grandfather clock struck midnight when she walked into the family room. The lit Christmas tree placed a soft glow across the room. Natalie kept the overhead lights off and spread her blocks and notebook out close to the Christmas tree. Then she laid back on the carpet, her hands behind her head, and closed her eyes.

  Peace. That’s what she was feeling, as crazy as it seemed. After they’d finished singing a few more Christmas carols around the bonfire earlier that night, Stan had brought everyone inside and read to them the story of the birth of Christ from Luke. Natalie had wrapped the blanket even tighter around her shoulders as she’d listened to Stan’s sincere and animated rendering of the story, completely wrapped up in the warm spirit of Christmas. That night, Christmas was more to her than presents, or ads, or fights with her boyfriend, more than traditions from around the world, her parents not coming home, or even discovering an impulsive side to herself that had been lost. It was this peace welling up inside of her and filling her up completely.

  She softly hummed “Silent Night” as she thought about the magic of Christmas Eve. While finishing the last line of the song, she felt someone watching her. She opened her eyes as Jimmy slipped into the room and sat beside her.

  “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” he asked.

  “Too much on my mind.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.”

  They both stared at the tree, lost in their respective thoughts. Natalie knew she should get to work, but dreaded it. Starting from scratch was painful and disheartening.

  “So, what are you going to do?” Jimmy broke the silence to ask.

  “About?”

  He turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “What do you think, Miss Fantastique hopeful?”

  Natalie threw her arm over her eyes. “Well, after your oh-so-subtle lesson earlier about jumping into things, I’m going to just try again. What about you?”

  “I emailed a few contacts about an hour ago, so hopefully one of them will have a good job lead for me.”

  “Good.” Natalie sat up wit
h a groan. “I never, ever want to see blocks again after this.”

  Jimmy picked up the blocks close to him and tapped them together, building a tower. “You know, one of my earliest memories is of playing blocks with my dad. They were these old wooden things that grandpa had cut out in the garage. It was the first time I remember thinking that I’d love to build things when I grew up.”

  “How old were you?” Natalie asked.

  Jimmy continued to work on his elaborate block tower. “Probably around five years old.”

  Natalie added a random block to his masterpiece and accidentally sent it all tumbling down. “When I was five, all I remember is sitting on some hot, humid bus with mosquitos flying all around me while we were on another one of Mom and Dad’s adventures.”

  “Do you miss them?”

  “Yeah. I do. I understand that what they’re doing is good, but I still wish they were here with me.” She nudged Jimmy’s shoulder with her own. “But it hasn’t been too bad being here. I’ve actually had a lot of fun.”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “Well, I figured I’d spend most of Christmas working on my project and suffering through weird family things. And yes, there were some weird family things, but I didn’t suffer so much.”

  “And the project?”

  “Is still super important to me.”

  “So, then let’s brainstorm. Where’s your notebook, Nancy Drew?”

  “Nancy Drew solved mysteries.”

  “Yes, and we’re trying to solve The Mystery of What Will Sell Magneto Blocks.” He searched around the room before spotting and grabbing her notebook and pen from the couch. Flipping it open, he said, “Okay, should we make a list of why kids might like them or what they’ll do with them. You’ve already got the basics. Bright colors are a plus.”

  “Ummm, I don’t know. Let me think for a second.”

  “There’s a ton in the box, so you can make more elaborate structures.” He wrote that down and then studied the blocks some more.

  Natalie watched in awe. Twenty minutes into Christmas Day, and he was down here helping her—way past the time when any normal person would have been in bed, not working. And after a really long day and a freezing cold night.

  “These really are cool. I would have loved them as a kid.” He tapped his pen against the notebook. “What else? Natty?”

  Natalie opened her mouth and blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Why are you helping me?”

  His eyes met hers, open and honest. Casual, like it was no big deal that he was doing this with her. “Because it means a lot to you.”

  Jimmy went back to studying the blocks, stacking them, balancing them in interesting ways, writing something down occasionally. Slowly, the weight on Natalie’s chest eased. She might actually get this done. She might come up with a winning idea and get to work on the Fantastique team. And Jimmy would be the one to thank. The person who never let her take herself too seriously, who taught her to take risks by making her jump in a freezing cold pool, who believed in her so much he helped her brainstorm like it was no big deal.

  He wasn’t the scrawny, immature kid she remembered from high school anymore. She’d noticed more than once that his body had filled out and that he’d grown into himself. But more than that, she’d forgotten until this week how much fun they’d always had together. He had always been able to take her out of her parent-induced funk when they announced another “third-world adventure” they wanted to go on which meant missing the state tennis championship sophomore year, or junior prom, or high school commencement. He always made her smile. He always made her laugh. She knew he liked her for her, not for what she could do for him or for how impressive her resume was.

  She studied his long fingers, her gaze working up his muscular arm, to his scruffy jaw and the way he bit his tongue in concentration.

  “Jimmy?”

  “Got an idea?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” Then Natalie did the most impulsive thing she’d ever done.

  She kissed him.

  For a second he didn’t move at all, but just before she would have pulled away she heard the clatter of a block tower collapsing as Jimmy shifted toward her. Those long fingers slipped through her hair and held the back of her head as he kissed her back.

  Natalie’s heart hammered in her chest as they gently broke apart. Jimmy kept his hand behind her head and his forehead against hers while they both caught their breath.

  Natalie didn’t want to say anything to break the spell this kiss had woven between them. She just wanted to soak in the moment—and this feeling that she’d never felt before. So free and light, like she could spin and spin with her hands in the air and never have to stop.

  Jimmy lifted his forehead from hers and took her face in his hands. He studied her intently, until Natalie self-consciously looked away.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.

  “I’m just making sure that you are in fact Natalie Ekins.” He ran his finger across her face. “Same serious eyes. Same beautiful smile. But the Natalie I know would never have kissed me like that.”

  Natalie’s face warmed. Stupid. She couldn’t believe she’d kissed him. What had she been thinking? Just because she noticed things about him she’d never noticed before didn’t mean that he felt any differently about her. She pulled back abruptly and stood. “I’m going to go.”

  Jimmy grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down into his lap. She stared at her hands, humiliated, wishing she could just run away and escape. All that pool talk and jumping in had gone to her head.

  “Natalie.” Jimmy lifted her chin when she wouldn’t look at him, then slowly, so slowly she could have moved away, he brought his warm mouth to hers.

  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?” he whispered.

  “How long?”

  Jimmy’s smile sent flutters through her chest. “Since about my junior year.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I’m serious. It was the beginning of your senior year. Homecoming. You came over here for pictures with Janessa before your date picked you up and you wanted to practice pinning the boutonniere on me so that you wouldn’t mess up with your date. We were so close and you were so cute when you were concentrating, I wanted to kiss you right then.”

  Natalie shifted a bit so that she could rest her head on his chest. “This is crazy. I never do crazy. How can you always get me to do things I normally wouldn’t?”

  “Just one of my talents: Can get Natty to loosen up now and then.”

  “Hey, you called me Natalie earlier.”

  “Yeah, we were kissing. I promise to always call you Natalie when we kiss.”

  Natalie slid off of his lap, embarrassed again. “Can we not talk about it?”

  “What? Kissing? How you kissed me and it was amazing? Or how we kissed a few seconds later, and it was even more amazing because I wasn’t in shock when we kissed.”

  Natalie covered her face with her hands. “You are still the same in so many ways.”

  “Are you mad at me? Should we kiss and make up?”

  Natalie couldn’t help laughing as she pushed his shoulder back. “Jimmy! Stop.”

  Jimmy leaned against the couch and Natalie scooted beside him. “Okay. I’ll stop for now.” He grabbed her hand and wound his fingers through hers. After a moment, Natalie rested her head against his shoulder. Jimmy grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and put it over their laps.

  “I’m glad I came home for Christmas.”

  “Me, too.”

  Jimmy tugged Natalie under his arm and put his lips against her head. “Merry Christmas,” he murmured.

  Natalie watched the twinkling lights on the tree, wrapped up in the warm feel of the night. Everything felt different, magical even. It was like she was a different Natalie tonight, one that didn’t worry about work or promotions or looking good for other people. Instead, as her eyes drifted shut, she reveled in the feeling of belong
ing that being with Jimmy gave her.

  “Merry Christmas!” The shouts startled Natalie awake. She blinked open her dry eyes and glanced around the room. The kids rifled through the presents, squealing when they found the ones with their names on them, and the adults stood close by to make sure they didn’t open them yet.

  Natalie scooted away from Jimmy before anyone noticed that she’d been snuggling into his side. She stretched her stiff neck, amazed that they’d spent the entire night sleeping on the couch. Jimmy reached over and took her hand before she could scoot too far away.

  “Good morning,” he said.

  Natalie tried to fight the smile that wanted to split across her face, but couldn’t. “Good morning.”

  “So, what’s going on here?” Janessa asked with raised eyebrows.

  “Nothing,” Natalie was quick to answer.

  “Really. Cause it kind of looked like you were cuddling with my little brother.”

  “Well, yeah, uh . . .”

  Jimmy laughed and wrapped his arm around the stammering Natalie. “Stop giving Natty a hard time. It’s not her fault I’m impossible to resist.”

  Natalie put her head in her hands. “Or, just impossible.”

  Janessa put her arms around both of them and gave them a tight hug. “This is good, whatever it is. My two favorite people, together.”

  Together? The word shook Natalie a little. Was that what they were? They’d kissed, sure. And she’d liked it, and really wanted to do it again. But that didn’t mean that this was something official or permanent. Jimmy leaned forward and took a couple of the gift-wrapped boxes that his mom held out to him.

  Stan walked into the room wearing red and green flannel pajamas and clapped his hands until everyone stopped talking and looked at him. “Merry Christmas, everyone! I have a few things to say before we start opening presents.”

  He stopped speaking to swallow, then swallowed again as the emotion visibly reached his face. “As you know, I started the Six Days of Christmas celebration after cancer took Diane, my first wife. I’ve known going into this year, that this would be the last time that I’ll do the Six Days of Christmas.”

 

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