Ty’s hands framed her face, and his mouth covered hers in a kiss that seemed to sear her soul, unlocking feelings and sensations she’d never felt with Brad—at least not to this extent. Awe and warmth and happiness mixed with desire and perfection and everything else she couldn’t describe. He’d been right here this entire time. How could she have been so blind? So clueless?
Kenzie’s hands found their way to nape of his neck, and her fingers tangled in his hair. His arms tightened around her as his lips worked warm and passionate against her own. Everything about him filled her senses to the bursting point, making her realize that what she’d had with Brad was nothing compared to this.
Wait. Brad.
The unbidden thought worked its way through her muddled mind like an annoying fly zipping past, reminding her that Brad didn’t deserve this, and Ty—well, he deserved to kiss a girl who wasn’t engaged to someone else.
Using every ounce of willpower she possessed, Kenzie broke free. “I can’t do this right now—not when Brad will be home in a week. He’s off working hard in some third-world country, while I’m here in warm and cozy America, kissing someone else. This is wrong. I have to talk to him first. I have to take care of some things. I have to—” Tears misted her eyes, blurring her vision. She couldn’t look at Ty anymore, at least not without throwing herself back into his arms, so she did the only thing she could do. She fled. Out the door and down the hall, she ran.
“Kenzie, wait!” Ty’s footsteps sounded behind her, growing louder and louder. She made it to the bottom of the stairs when his hand claimed her wrist. “Wait,” he said. “Please. I need to tell you something.”
Kenzie hated how one little touch—his hand on her wrist—weakened her willpower.
“He’s not coming,” Ty blurted.
Her eyes shot to his. “What?”
“Brad’s not coming. He met someone else. In Madagascar. He’s staying there for now.” Ty released her wrist and raked his fingers through his hair. “He wrote you a postcard a few weeks ago. It came in my box, and . . . well, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to ruin your Christmas.”
Kenzie continued to blink at him as his words slowly registered in her brain. Brad met someone else. He wasn’t coming home. The wedding was off.
And Ty had known for weeks.
She suddenly felt like a human punching bag with a million different emotions assaulting her all at once. Anger, hurt, embarrassment, betrayal, relief—they were all there, pelting away at her insides.
She took a step back, shaking her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Ty’s expression clouded over. “I should have. I know. I just—“
“Yes, Ty! You should have! How could you keep something like that from me? Do you have any idea what I’ve been through these past few weeks? What you’ve put me through?”
“I was only trying to keep you from getting dumped during your favorite time of year.”
Kenzie’s eyes widened as she gaped at him. “Well you didn’t, Ty! You didn’t. Because regardless of whether or not I knew it, I still got dumped. And worse than that, because of you, I’ve just experienced two of the most miserable weeks of my life! I’m so mad at you right now I don’t even know what to say. How could you!” Kenzie pushed past him and took the stairs two at a time, running back to her apartment. She slammed the door hard behind her and stood there, breathing heavily.
Her Christmas tree glowed with an aura that seemed to plead with her to forgive, to forget, to love. But Ty had kept something from her. Something huge. Something that she had a right to know, regardless of whether or not it would have ruined her Christmas. It was her life. Her fiancé. Her wedding.
Yet instead of telling her, Ty had flirted with her, touched her, kissed her, drawn her in like a freaking magnet—all without feeling like he was stealing someone else’s girl. Meanwhile, Kenzie fought a daily battle against guilt and remorse—a battle that never needed to be fought.
She should feel relieved right now. She was free from Brad, free to have feelings for Ty. It was exactly what she’d wanted. But that awful weight was still there, bearing down heavier than before.
Ty had broken a trust.
Kenzie walked over to the glowing tree and yanked the plug free from the wall. The last thing she wanted to do was to forgive and forget.
TY GRIPPED THE STEERING WHEEL and painstakingly drove home from work. It had snowed all day long and cars were sliding off the road right and left. His California upbringing didn’t prepare him for driving in these conditions, and he hated how out of control it made him feel.
By the time he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex, it was nearly dark. Still, he looked for Kenzie’s car, hoping she’d decided to stay one more day so that they could talk.
But no car, which meant she’d probably already left for home. Which meant she didn’t want to talk. Which meant . . . what? He really had no idea how deep her anger ran. All he knew was that she was angry. At him.
He left his car running and watched his windshield wipers move back and forth across the window. His father had always told him that hindsight was 20/20, and he was right. Looking back, Ty should have given Kenzie that postcard. Granted, it would have crushed her, and Ty never would have known that she’d have chosen him over Brad, but at least it wouldn’t be Ty’s face Kenzie wanted to punch.
Talk about irony.
By trying to salvage her favorite holiday, Ty had made it the worst one yet. While Brad—the fiancé who’d broken up with her in a lousy postcard—got off scot free. Ty might as well have said, “Hey, Brad, why don’t you let me take that beating for you. Really, it’s no problem.”
He yanked his key from the ignition and slogged his way through the snow, toward frozen pizza and whatever game he could find on TV.
Inside his apartment his cell buzzed with a text. He fished it from his pocket and frowned. His mother had promised to wait at least a week before contacting him, and yet here she was, only the day after she left, sending him a text. Why had he given her his number again? Oh yeah, he’d been under the influence of Kenzie.
Just checking in. Told Kenzie how you feel yet?
Yes, and guess where it got me, Ty wanted to write back. Nowhere! Instead, he tossed the phone on the counter and dropped down on the couch, trying to ignore the Christmas tree and the pudgy one-dimensional snowmen staring at him from the window.
He got up and closed the blinds. Then he punched the power button on the remote and started scanning through stations. His phone buzzed again.
He eyed it from across the room. Was it his mother again? Or Kenzie wanting to talk? Could he be that lucky? Probably not. Still, he walked over, picked up the phone, and groaned. Sure enough, his mother. Again.
Don’t forget to tell her you love her.
Ty nearly powered off his phone, but then he paused, staring at the words again as something registered. He hadn’t told Kenzie he loved her. He hadn’t even told her he liked her. The only thing he’d bothered to mention was the fact that her fiancé had met someone else and her wedding was off.
Ty hated it when his mother was right.
But would it make a difference? If he showed up at her doorstep right now and poured his heart out while groveling, would it help? Would she forgive him? At the very least would she stop wanting to use his face as a punching bag?
Maybe. Maybe not. But he’d never know unless he tried.
With a new sense of purpose, Ty walked to his room, threw some clothes and toiletries in a bag, and headed back into the cold, dark, snowy night. He didn’t care how long it would take to drive to her parents’ house in this weather. He’d eventually get there. And he’d eventually get her to listen.
Kenzie lay curled up on her bed, staring at the fading pink floral wallpaper. When she was twelve, pink had been her favorite color. Her mom had taken her to the store one day to pick out wallpaper for a more grown-up room, and Kenzie had spotted this one right away—a br
ight, pink floral that would surely make her feel like she lived in a flower garden. It was perfect.
“Are you sure you don’t want a more neutral color?” her mother had asked. “Wallpaper isn’t easy to change, so whatever you choose will have to be something you live with for awhile.”
But Kenzie was positive.
That is, until the pink floral paper surrounded her and clashed with every picture she’d hung. In less than a week, Kenzie no longer loved pink and decided that flowers belonged in the garden and not on walls. But to this day, she’d never told her mother that—which was probably why the room had never been painted or re-wallpapered.
Kenzie frowned. She should have been honest from the beginning, just like Ty should have been honest with her.
A light rap sounded on Kenzie’s door. It opened, and her mother’s voice said quietly, “Mackenzie, you awake?”
“I’m awake.” Kenzie rolled to her other side, facing her mother’s look of concern.
“I’m worried about you,” she said. “How are you holding up?”
“I’ve been better.”
Her mom sat down on the end of her bed and placed a hand on Kenzie’s knee. “It’s too late tonight, but tomorrow I’ll call and cancel everything.”
Kenzie’s eyes closed in an attempt to shut everything out. “I just want it to all go away.”
“Consider it done.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Her eyes opened, once again staring at the ugly floral wallpaper. “Can I be honest with you about something?”
“What?”
“I’ve hated that wallpaper since the day we put it up.”
“Me too.” Her mother smiled, patting her knee. “Now can I be honest about something?”
“Shoot.”
“I’m glad you’re not marrying Brad.”
“What?” Kenzie’s eyes snapped to hers. “But I thought you liked him. You never said anything before.”
“It wasn’t my opinion to have, it was yours,” said her mother. “So I kept my mouth shut.”
Kenzie suddenly thought of Ty’s mother and how she would have done the opposite. Which was better? A parent who stood back and allowed their child to make a decision they thought was a big mistake? Or a parent who actively tried to stop that mistake from happening? Kenzie didn’t know. Maybe neither.
“I wish you would have told me,” Kenzie finally said. “All this time, I thought you were thrilled.”
Her mother stood and walked to a tall, white bookcase. She fingered a framed picture of Kenzie and Brad from right before he’d left for Madagascar. “When you two started dating, I was thrilled. We’d been friends with Brad’s family for years, and I couldn’t imagine a better guy for you to marry or a better family for you to marry into.
“But then you got engaged, and this opportunity for him to go to Madagascar landed in his lap. It didn’t seem to bother him to have to postpone the wedding. In fact, he was downright giddy the days leading up to his departure.”
“Because he was excited,” Kenzie defended.
“Of course he was excited.” Her mom set the picture down and looked at Kenzie. “He had the chance to do some wonderful things and have some great experiences. But at the same time, I couldn’t help but think that if Brad really loved you the way I want you to be loved, it would have been a lot harder for him to leave you behind.”
Kenzie nodded, thinking back to the day when she’d waved a tearful goodbye to a fiancé who couldn’t keep the grin off his face. At the time, she’d admired him for his strength and enthusiasm, but now, looking back, maybe her mother was right. Maybe Brad never really loved her—not in the way he should.
Kenzie swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. While the realization hurt, what scared her the most was the possibility that Ty could feel the same way. Although he’d kissed her, he didn’t exactly proclaim his love for her.
She picked at a piece of lint on her comforter. “What if Ty doesn’t love me that way either?”
Silence.
Her mother sat on the bed once more, eyeing her with a surprised expression. “Do you want him to love you?”
Still picking at the lint, Kenzie could only nod. And feel miserable.
Her mom let out a breath. “So that’s why you’ve holed up in your room since you got back. I thought it was because you were heartbroken over Brad.”
“It was awful, Mom,” Kenzie blurted, needing to tell someone. “I blathered on about how I couldn’t marry Brad anymore because I had feelings for Ty. He kissed me and then told me that the only reason he didn’t give me the postcard was because he didn’t want it to ruin my holiday.” Kenzie searched her mom’s face. “What does that even mean? Was the kiss real—because it definitely felt real—or was it a pity kiss? Things have changed between us during the past couple of weeks and I thought it was because he cared. But what if he only acted that way because he felt sorry for me? I’m so messed up, I don’t know what to think anymore.”
Her mom’s lips twitched.
“Oh, that’s just great,” grumbled Kenzie, returning to the lint with renewed force. “I’m a miserable wreck and you’re laughing.”
A snicker sounded, making Kenzie pick up her pillow and throw it at her mom.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” her mom said, catching the pillow and tucking it behind her back. “But you’re not thinking rationally right now which is so unlike you it’s funny.”
Kenzie stared at her mother, not quite sure if she should be insulted or hopeful. “Did you just call me irrational?”
“And foolish.” Her mother nodded. “That is, if you honestly believe Ty would kiss you out of pity.”
Kenzie glared at the wallpaper. This conversation was so not going the way she thought it should. Where were the hugs? The words of comfort? The kind, understanding expressions?
“Honey, I’ve only met Ty a handful of times, but it’s obvious he’s head over heels for you. The way he looks at you, the way he treats you, the way he comes running whenever you need anything. If you really think he does all of that out of pity or because he’s a nice guy, then you’re—” This time, her mom cut herself off.
Kenzie rolled her eyes. “Foolish and irrational. Yeah, I got it.”
The corners of her mom’s mouth lifted. “You said it this time, not me.”
Feeling her own lips twitch, Kenzie shook her head in wonder. “I’m not sure why, but strangely enough, that did make me feel better.”
“Good.” Her mom patted her knee once more. “Now get some sleep.”
TY STOMPED HIS FEET AND SHIVERED as he rang the doorbell. A drive that usually took three hours had taken him six. His eyes burned, his head pounded, and his fingers ached from clenching the steering wheel too hard.
He rang the doorbell again.
It didn’t matter that all the lights in the house were off. All that mattered was that Kenzie was somewhere on the other side of that door and he wasn’t leaving until he talked to her. Plus, he had nowhere else to go, and the weather didn’t leave many other options.
After what seemed like hours, the front porch light flickered to life. The door unlatched and swung open, revealing Dan and Sue Tyler, Kenzie’s parents. Behind them, the three faces of Kenzie’s younger sisters peeked out at him.
Ty shuffled his feet, suddenly uncomfortable. “I, uh, know it’s late, but—“
“Oh good, you’re acting foolish and irrational, too,” Sue said, ushering him inside. “Come on in. It’s freezing out there.”
Dan turned to the three girls, waving them back to their rooms. “Okay, you’ve seen who it is, now off to bed. You can catch up with Ty tomorrow”—he shot Ty a glare—“or I should say today.” He shooed the girls down the hall, trailing behind them. Only Sue remained.
“Listen,” Ty said. “I know this is crazy—me showing up here in the middle of the night—but I really need to talk to Kenzie.”
A hint of a smile appeared on her face. “You must be exhausted.” She ges
tured toward the couch. “Take a seat. I’ll get Kenzie then make up a bed for you in the guest room.”
“I can just crash on the couch,” said Ty, not wanting to put her out anymore than he already had. “I have to head back tomorrow morning anyway for work.”
She smiled. “Like I said, I’ll go get Kenzie and make up the guest bed for you.”
“Thank you,” Ty said, too tired to argue. He watched her go before sinking down on the couch, suddenly feeling anxious. What if Kenzie wouldn’t talk to him? What if he’d come all this way and woke up everyone for nothing?
A few moments later, a creak sounded, followed by soft footsteps. Ty’s head shot up. Across the darkened room, dressed in a T-shirt and green cotton pants, with her curly auburn hair splayed around her face, stood Kenzie, looking more beautiful than ever.
She blinked sleepy eyes at him. “What are you doing here?”
Not exactly the warm welcome he’d fantasized about, but at least she was talking to him.
“Acting foolish and irrational, according to your mother.”
Kenzie smiled at that. “Join the club.”
Ty stood and took a tentative step toward her. He’d give anything to take her in his arms and kiss that sleepy look from her face. Instead he stood there, feeling more foolish than ever. Where did he begin? Blurt out that he loved her? That she shouldn’t cancel any wedding plans because he wanted to be the one to marry her instead? Or would that be too much, too soon?
He took another step and paused. “You ran away before I had a chance to really explain, and I need you to understand something.”
Kenzie lowered herself to the armrest of the couch and watched him expectantly.
Ty fidgeted. “Do you remember the first time our mailman mixed up our mail? It was right after I moved in. I got a package that I thought was mine, so I ripped into it and about died when I found a bra.”
All I Want (Three Holiday Romances) Page 22