Skyler finally called Ashley and talked to her about what was going on. When she hung up she walked over to the cupboard where she and Devin kept the alcohol, taking out a bottle of tequila and downing a couple of shots. Devin watched from the couch.
“What did she say?” Devin asked.
Skyler closed her eyes for a minute, then opened them again and poured a third shot.
“Sky!” Devin said, her tone worried.
Skyler held up her hand, it immediately scared Devin. It had been the way Skyler had acted when she’d suffered a minor breakdown over the crash. Standing, Devin walked over to Skyler, taking the bottle gently out of her hands, and taking her hand to walk her over to the couch.
“Tell me what’s happening,” Devin said, her voice calm.
“It’s my fault,” Skyler said. “It’s my fault Jet is so fucked up.”
“How is she fucked up?” Devin asked. “She seems pretty set in her life.”
Skyler shook her head. “You mean set in the way that she’s with a different woman every night? That she doesn’t stick around with any woman for too long? Set like that?”
“Maybe that’s how she wants to live her life, Sky,” Devin pointed out.
“And maybe it’s my fault she won’t commit to anyone.”
“How is it your fault?” Devin asked.
Skyler shook her head. “I left her, Devin. I left her there without a fucking word…”
“Skyler you were hurt. Jesus, you can’t have been expected to wrap everything up nicely,” Devin said her concern for Skyler overriding the need to be nice about this.
“I could have contacted her later though, at least tried to explain.”
“You can’t control everything in life, Skyler. You were doing the best you could.”
“Yeah, well, my best sucked,” Skyler said her look tormented.
Devin’s eyes searched Skyler’s face then. “Sky…” she said, her tone taking on a cautionary sound.
Skyler heard it, and felt her heart lurch. “Devin…” she said, shaking her head.
“No, wait,” Devin said, holding up her hand. “I need you to think about this.”
“I don’t need to think about anything,” Skyler said, her voice strong.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this next month,” Devin said, her voice as even as she could make it, even though her heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest.
“Devin, God… No, that isn’t what this is about, babe, please…” Skyler said, having known what was coming from the second Devin’s voice had changed.
“I love you,” Skyler told Devin.
“You love her too,” Devin said.
“I did love her,” Skyler admitted. “I did, and that’s why I feel so shitty now, because I never even told her. But you’re who I love now, and nothing is going to change that. I feel like hell because in my rush to forget everything about my time in the Middle East, I forgot the person that meant so much to me for a time. And now I’m seeing the fallout from that. That’s hard for me, yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
Devin looked back at her, trying to understand what Skyler was saying. It did make sense. She’d never even heard about Jet Mathews until she’d shown up in LA at Kashena’s party one afternoon. Skyler had been honest with her all along about who Jet was, at least for the most part.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you loved her?” Devin asked then.
Skyler shook her head. “I guess I really didn’t think it mattered now. And I figured it was all water under the bridge with her too, so…”
“Did she tell you she loved you?” Devin asked.
“Not in so many words, no, but looking back now I can see that she was telling me she loved me in lots of other ways. I was just too blind to see it, or maybe I didn’t want to see it, I don’t know.”
Devin nodded. “And you are sure you don’t want to at least postpone the wedding.”
“Devin, I love you,” Skyler said, her eyes staring straight into Devin’s. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, nothing is going to change that.”
Devin nodded. “Okay, I guess I needed to hear that.”
“I’m sorry, babe,” Skyler said, shaking her head. “I really didn’t know how badly this was backing up on me until Ashley told me what’s going on.”
“So what is going on?” Devin asked.
Skyler told her about what Ashley had said.
“So do you think Ashley is right?” Devin asked.
“Yeah, I do,” Skyler said. “I think she’s been in love with that girl from the start.”
Devin nodded. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
“I think there’s something I need to do,” Skyler said, her look resolved.
Devin nodded, worried, but knowing that, like going to Iraq with Jet, it was something she needed to do to make amends.
Later that day, Skyler walked outside, finding Jet once again sitting on the retaining wall. She lit a cigarette and walked over to where Jet sat. Jet was on top of the thick wall, her knees up to her chest, her arms resting over them. She was smoking.
“Hey,” Skyler said, walking up and leaning on the wall, looking out over the ocean.
Jet glanced over at Skyler, blowing out smoke as she did.
“Hey,” Jet said, turning her head back to the view.
They were both silent for a few minutes.
“So we need to talk,” Skyler said.
Jet gave a short laugh, shaking her head. “No, we really don’t.”
“Yeah, Jet, we really do,” Skyler said, her tone serious. “We have needed to for years now.”
“Years?” Jet repeated, raising an eyebrow.
Skyler nodded, her look telling Jet that she knew what she meant.
Jet blew her breath out, shaking her head. “You don’t need to say anything, Sky? Okay? It’s done, over.”
“Right…” Skyler said. “But I’ve never apologized.”
“You apologized,” Jet said.
“I apologized for not being there, Jet, but not for the way I left things.”
“You got medevac’d home, Sky, what do think you needed to do, huh? Send me flowers?” Jet asked her tone sarcastic.
Skyler narrowed her eyes at Jet, knowing she was being defensive because she didn’t want to talk about the subject. Too bad, Skyler thought.
“I could have contacted you after that,” Skyler said.
Jet said nothing, simply looking out over the ocean, and taking a deep drag on her cigarette. Skyler noted the silence, and knew it was because Jet had thought the same thing.
“And I didn’t, and that’s where I fucked up,” Skyler said.
“You didn’t fuck up, Sky,” Jet said, her tone sad.
Skyler turned around, hopping up on the wall, sitting facing the house, her eyes looking into Jet’s.
“I fucked up, Jet because I never told you that I loved you,” she said, her tone strong. “And God I loved you…”
Jet gritted her teeth, shaking her head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” Skyler said, “because that stupid mistake broke something in you, and I want to help fix it.”
Jet gave a short sarcastic laugh, looking at Skyler with her eyes flashing angrily.
“Why does everyone think I’m fucking broken?”
“Why?” Skyler asked her tone sharp. “Because you’re in love with that girl and she’s in love with you, and you’re not going to get involved with her because you think something is wrong with you.”
Jet shook her head, looking away.
“You love her, Jet…” Skyler said.
Jet shrugged.
“That doesn’t happen all the time,” Skyler said.
“It’s happened before,” Jet said, her tone wry.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me you loved me?” Skyler asked then.
Jet gave her a sarcastic grin. “I thought I did.”
“You never said the words, Jet,”
Skyler said.
“I just figured it was easier that way,” Jet said.
“You were afraid I wouldn’t say them back,” Skyler said, pinning Jet with a look.
“Maybe,” Jet said her tone non-committal.
“I loved you,” Skyler told her.
Jet blew her breath out, shaking her head sadly.
“You were my life line over there Jet,” Skyler told her. “I don’t even know if I ever realized how much I loved you for that… But please let me help you now.”
“Help me what, Sky?” Jet asked.
“Help you find your way back,” Skyler said.
“The way back isn’t the hard part,” Jet said, grinning wryly. “It’s the being here that’s hard.”
“Fadiyah loves you,” Skyler said. “And I think you have loved her since you were hurt and she saved your life. Let her save your life again.”
Jet blew her breath out in a rush. “I don’t know how to do this…” she said.
“Yeah you do,” Skyler said, smiling fondly.
Fadiyah was standing in the backyard, but she wasn’t seeing the backyard. She was trying to imagine what her life would be like back in Iraq. Would she even have the option to go back to Iran as she originally had? Or would they just send her back to Iraq? She realized she had no idea what would happen and it scared her. It was bad enough that she would suddenly be without this woman who she’d come to realize she loved desperately, but she would also be without all of the people she’d met. Ashley had been so kind, trying so hard to help her. Skyler and Sebastian who’d come all the way to Iraq to try to save her with Jet. Jericho who had done so much behind the scenes to make the mission to save Fadiyah go smoothly. The list went on and on and Fadiyah felt like she was losing everything. The tears she thought she had run out of began again.
Jet walked into the house, looking around, and seeing Fadiyah standing outside. Drawing in a deep breath she set down her keys and walked to the back door, opening it and stepping outside.
Fadiyah turned at the sound of the door opening. Jet took one look at her tear-streaked face and completely broke. Striding to her, Jet cupped her face in her hands, her lips moved to kiss Fadiyah, her hands gentle, her lips tender. Pulling back she looked down into Fadiyah’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Jet said, “I love you.”
Fadiyah let out a cry and wrapped her arms around Jet’s neck, kissing her. Jet picked her up in her arms, her lips still on Fadiyah’s. She carried the girl inside and up to her bedroom. Laying her down she continued to kiss her and lay down on the bed next to her, pulling her into her arms again. Jet took her time, kissing her and caressing gently. As they kissed Fadiyah pressed close, her need making her tremble.
“God, babe…” Jet said, her voice ragged. “Wait, please… wait…” she said, pulling her head back away from Fadiyah.
“What did I do wrong?” Fadiyah asked, her look afraid.
“No, honey, you didn’t….” Jet said, blowing her breath out. “I just need to calm down a bit…” she said, looking like she was having a rather difficult time doing so.
“Calm down?” Fadiyah asked, looking confused.
Jet blew her breath out, nodding. “You’re killin’ me right now,” she said.
“What?” Fadiyah asked, sounding alarmed.
“No, babe, not literally,” Jet said, laughing at the ridiculousness of her situation. Blowing her breath out, she knew she needed to explain. “This,” she said, motioning to Fadiyah’s body pressed her hers, “is getting me really keyed up right now…”
“Keyed up?” Fadiyah queried.
Jet dropped her head back, thinking if nothing else this conversation was helping to cool her off a bit. She grinned, because she had never in a million years imagined herself in this kind of situation.
“You are exciting the hell out of me,” Jet told her. “And honestly, I’m afraid if I don’t calm down, I’ll ravish you and scare the crap out of you.”
Fadiyah stared back at Jet, her mouth slightly open, but Jet could see when it clicked in her head that she had power here. Oh shit, was the thought that ran through her mind as Fadiyah moved to slide her body over Jet’s, making Jet groan loudly.
“And I so shouldn’t have told you that…” Jet said, her voice reflecting the desire now coursing through her again.
After that, there were no more words. Jet did everything she could to control her desire but in the end they cried out in their release together. They then spent the next few hours exploring each other.
When they lay completely sated, Fadiyah moved to look down at Jet, who lay on her back with one arm behind her neck.
“What does this mean?” she asked Jet.
Jet looked back at her, her eyes searching. “I’m not sure,” she said honestly. “What I am sure about is that I love you and I will do everything I can to make this work… I just can’t make you any promises right now.”
Fadiyah nodded, already getting more than she ever expected to get from Jet. “I want you to promise me one thing,” she said then.
“What’s that?” Jet asked her voice soft.
“That while we are together, whether that’s for a day, a week or a month, you will not be with any other woman.”
Jet looked back at her for a long moment, wondering if she should tell her that she was usually only with one woman at a time.
“How do you know I keep my promises?” Jet asked.
“I know you do,” Fadiyah said. “You are too honorable not to.”
Jet had to give her that one. Finally she touched her lips to Fadiyah’s, then pulling back to look into her eyes as she said, “I promise.”
Later as the sun started to go down, Jet walked out into the backyard. She found Ashley sitting there. Jet turned the stereo on with her phone, and music began to play.
“Hey,” Jet said moving to sit down a light a cigarette.
“Hi,” Ashley said, her smile wide, a knowing look in her eyes.
“I take it you heard?” Jet asked, grinning.
“I think half the neighborhood heard,” Ashley said, still grinning.
Jet pressed her lips together, her eyes twinkling.
“You look happy,” Ashley said.
Jet drew in a deep breath, and blew it out slowly. Moving to lean forward, Jet kissed Ashley on the lips sweetly.
“And I know I owe you,” Jet told her as she moved to sit back down. “Thank you for that.”
Ashley shook her head. “I just wanted to help.”
“Yeah, a lot of women in your position wouldn’t have,” Jet said.
“Well, I kinda love ya, so I want you to be happy,” Ashley said.
“Love me?” Jet asked, her look quizzical.
“Not in that boil your bunny kind of way,” Ashley replied. “But I know that Fadiyah is the woman you love, and that is what I want for you, my friend. After everything you’ve done for me.”
Jet smiled over at her, her eyes indicating that she understood what Ashley was saying and appreciating that Ashley wasn’t going to make her feel bad about how things happened. She wasn’t sure she could take anymore guilt right now.
“Where’s Fadiyah?” Ashley asked after a few minutes.
“She’ll be down in a few,” Jet said, moving to put her foot on Ashley’s chair companionably.
When Fadiyah walked out, Ashley couldn’t believe the change in the girl. She looked beyond happy, she looked absolutely blissful. It almost hurt to see it.
Fadiyah moved to sit on the arm of the chair that Jet sat in. Jet slid her free hand around Fadiyah’s waist and Fadiyah leaned down to kiss Jet on the head.
They all talked for a few minutes, then Fadiyah picked up Jet’s phone.
“How do I find that song?” she asked, looking at the phone.
Jet reached up, bringing Fadiyah’s hand that was holding the phone down so she could see the screen. “Touch there,” she instructed, “here, and here…”
Ashley watched them with a smil
e on her face, they were an awfully cute couple.
The song, “I Am a Lost Boy from Neverland” that Fadiyah loved so much, flowed out of the speakers.
She watched enchanted as Jet sang the song. When the song ended Ashley grinned, looking at Jet.
“Are you the lost boy?” she asked Jet.
“No,” Fadiyah said, her smile warm. “Jet is Peter Pan. I am the lost boy that she came to bring home to Neverland.”
Epilogue
Jet walked into the house at four in the morning. She dropped her gear bag on the entryway bench and climbed the stairs tiredly. Entering the bedroom as quietly as possible, she glanced over at the form sleeping in the bed and smiled fondly. It had been a month since she and Fadiyah had officially become a couple. Jet had found that being with Fadiyah much easier than trying not to be with her. So far things had been good between them. Jet sincerely hoped it stayed that way, but there was always a small part of her that watched and waited for things to go wrong. She tried to squelch that part of her as often as possible.
Taking off her clothes, she went into the master bathroom and showered. Finally crawling into bed behind Fadiyah at four thirty, she slid her arm around her and gently pulled her back against her chest. She was asleep a minute later. At six her phone started ringing. Groaning she had to resist the urge to throw the device across the room. Fadiyah turned over in her arms, reaching past her to pick up the phone and look at the display.
“It is your parents,” Fadiyah told her.
“Oh, good, I can ignore it then.”
“Jet!” Fadiyah said, handing her the phone and giving her a pointed look.
Jet made an annoyed sound in the back of her throat, but answered the call anyway.
“This is Jet,” she said, knowing it would annoy her mother.
Fadiyah could only hear Jet’s side of the conversation, but watched her face as she talked to her mother.
“Okay,” Jet said, her look mild. “I’m tired, I just went to bed an hour and a half ago.” She rolled her eyes. “I was at work, Mom, not partying.” She took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Yes, I actually do work that late sometimes…” Again she rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh, I know.” Her eyes flicked over to Fadiyah’s, seeing that the girl was watching her closely, she winked, making Fadiyah smile. “Right, okay, got it,” Jet said, her tone short. “Yep.”
Jet Blue (WeHo Book 5) Page 24