by Bess McBride
I watched him scan the cemetery, his face showing the same desperation I’d felt myself all too often in the last half hour.
“I am afraid my answer remains the same. It would appear that I live here at the moment,” he murmured in a bemused tone as he returned his blue gaze to my face.
I winced at his answer. Definitely insane. So handsome and so totally off his rocker.
I must have recoiled more visibly than I thought, because he reached a tentative hand in my direction.
“Don’t touch me,” I whispered as I backed up a step. I ached as I fought against that tender familiarity I felt with Darius, but I couldn’t allow myself to continue in this strange dream...or nightmare. Could I?
“Molly, I will not hurt you. Please believe me.”
“I don’t know what to believe. I don’t believe in ghosts, I know that.” I was so near to tears that my voice shook against my will.
Darius looked around. “Sit with me a while, Molly, and we will try to understand what has happened...together. You knew my name. You know we are intertwined in some way. I am not a stranger to you.”
I looked into his turquoise eyes. No one with eyes that clear and beautiful could harm me, it just didn’t seem possible. I dragged in some air, dropped my gaze and allowed my tightened lips to curl into a small half-smile as I nodded.
“All right,” I murmured.
Darius’s quick intake of breath brought my head up.
“Good!” he murmured with a broad smile. The lines of his forehead smoothed and he gestured to a bench under the shade of one of the large oak trees. He reached to put his arm under my elbow in a distinctly old-fashioned manner, and I jerked.
“Forgive me,” he murmured and clasped his hands behind his back once more. “I am not used to...not touching you.”
“What?” I came to a standstill. The intimacy of his words shocked me. Though I had only moments before kissed him with a passion I didn’t know I was capable of, that had been some sort of temporary aberration...and best forgotten.
“No matter what just happened between us, Darius, I do not know you. We have never met. And we have never...um...touched.” I reddened at my inarticulate phrasing.
Darius tilted his head in the most charming way and searched my face for what seemed like an hour but must have only been a few seconds. I fought to keep my gaze on his.
“I understand, Molly. Or at least I am trying to.” He ran a harried hand through his hair. “It would appear that you and I have different memories, and I must go slowly with you. I cannot bear to lose you again, and I will do anything to keep you.”
I cannot bear to lose you again, and I will do anything to keep you.
He spoke the words every woman wanted to hear from a tall, dark and handsome man. I was no exception. So, I did what all women confronted with such declarations of love would do. I clenched my fists and stomped my foot in response.
“Now, listen! I am going to walk away this instant if you don’t stop talking that way. I don’t know what you’re talking about. And you’re scaring me. I’m just too morbidly curious about this whole thing to walk away right now, but if you don’t stop making these vague references to some great romance that I don’t remember, I’m leaving.” I slammed my arms across my chest and squinted at him with my best steely-eyed look. “I mean it,” I added for good measure.
Darius’s lips twitched, but to his credit, he did not laugh though he looked as if he wanted to. He pressed his lips together.
“Yes, Molly, my dear.” He inclined his head. “I shall behave.” He kept one hand behind his back in a courtly gesture and extended the other in the direction of the bench. “Shall we?”
I swept ahead of him as if I had transported myself back in time and wore a fabulous silk dress that swished angrily as I stormed ahead. Less than a minute brought me to the wrought iron bench which graced the foot of the oak tree where I’d first seen Darius. I was acutely aware of him close behind me as I dropped onto the bench in a most unladylike fashion, silk dress forgotten.
Darius did not sit immediately but looked up at the tree, which hummed loudly as the leaves rustled in the wind.
“This tree was just a small seedling when last I saw it. It has grown into a magnificent oak, has it not? I did not know if it would withstand the winds on this hill.”
I followed his gaze upward. The grand tree was indeed beautiful, massive...I guessed about 48 feet in height, and appeared to be quite sturdy. There was no doubt it had been there a long time. The wide trunk hinted at longevity. I had no earthly idea if I believed that Darius planted it or not. He certainly believed it.
I lowered my gaze to study his face and found him looking at me with a smile of...affection.
“I know that you and I are at some sort of impasse, Molly. We do not understand what has happened. And you do not believe much of what I say.”
I started to protest, but he held up a hand.
“Your face is very easy to read, my lov—Molly.”
His eyes seemed to twinkle...or maybe it was just my imagination.
He placed his hand lightly over his heart and grinned. “Observe even now how impossible it is for me to refrain from endearments. I trust you will forgive me a few indiscretions.”
I tried to give him a hard stare, though my heart wasn’t in it. In fact, my heart wanted desperately to hear his endearments, though my brain told me I should probably schedule a visit to a mental health therapist as soon as I returned to Seattle.
“Perhaps we could come to some form of understanding between us? I know you think I am...em...insane. If you could suspend disbelief for a while and grant me the benefit of doubt? I know my appearance here in the cemetery seems...unusual.” He rubbed his jaw as he paused. My gaze focused on his broad, tanned hand, and I found myself wishing he would touch my face again. He sighed and continued.
“I believe that I am not in my own time, and I have no idea how I arrived in yours.” His face tightened and he looked away toward the valley for an instant. “Nor do I understand how it is that you are here—in this time.”
At this, I couldn’t stay quiet. “Where else would I be? Are...are you suggesting that I...” I grimaced “...lived in your time? And I don’t even know when that was, by the way,” I pointed out.
Darius brought his gaze to mine as I spoke. The crisp blue of his eyes softened as he looked at me, and my heart skipped a wayward beat.
“May I sit?” he asked.
“Oh, sure,” I mumbled. I made a pretense of scooting over to the edge of the bench, but I already huddled at the far end of the bench, and he had plenty of room to sit. His formal question evoked an improbably old-fashioned set of manners that wasn’t common in this day and age. It was almost easy to believe he was from a different time.
He lowered himself to the seat with graceful ease and clasped his hands together on his lap as he turned to look at me. He searched my face for a moment. Under his scrutiny, I willed my features into a blank expression, and I hoped he didn’t notice I wasn’t breathing. He sighed and turned his face forward to survey the cemetery. I gulped for air.
“I did not realize the cemetery would grow so large when I donated the land to the town.” He seemed lost in thought, and I wondered if he was going to answer my question. I wasn’t going to let it drop. I pounced... verbally speaking, that is.
“When was that?”
He turned toward me, chewing on a corner of his lower lip for a moment before answering.
“1880.”
I heard myself gasp as if from a long way off and felt the blood drain from my face. I knew what he’d been hinting at, but to hear him say it out loud was...surreal.
He began to speak quickly, and I struggled to focus on his exact words.
“I wish you could remember, Molly. You loved to walk up to this hill, raise your arms in the wind and pretend you could fly. You would come up here often while I worked on the house—the house that I hoped would be our home.”
/> I shook my head soundlessly, unsure if the weak gesture was meant to tell him I couldn’t understand what he was saying or that I didn’t believe anything he was saying. I hardly knew which.
Darius kept his gaze on me while he spoke. He reached for my hand once but hesitated and then pulled back. He dragged in a deep breath. The pounding in my ears told me I was holding mine again. He cleared his throat and continued.
“In the early days, when I came out from Virginia, these hills and valleys were wild and fertile. Forests and thick foliage abounded along the edge of the Missouri River. The land was difficult to tame.” He looked past my shoulder, toward the valley. “But it seems heavily farmed now. I wonder how many men work this land. And how many horses and plows they must own!”
An unexpected giggle escaped my throat, and I clamped my hand over my mouth. Oh, surely I wasn’t going to break out into hysterics!
Darius turned to me with a tentative smile.
“I am pleased to hear you laugh at long last. And what have I said to amuse you?” he murmured with a sparkle in his eyes.
I dropped my hand from my mouth to gesture toward the valley. “I don’t think anyone uses horses to farm anymore, Darius. It’s all done by heavy equipment like tractors.”
“Ah, yes... Tractors. Of course.”
I threw him a sharp glance. Did they have tractors in the late 1800s? He sounded as if he knew what I was talking about, but I wasn’t entirely convinced. He looked away toward the valley again. I still needed some answers from him. I ignored the small voice in my head which demanded answers to the question, “Why are you still sitting here with this delusional man?”
“Darius, what are you doing here?” I tried to face him directly, but a sudden gust of wind blew a handful of hair across my face. I brought shaky hands to my head to restrain the hair. . “I mean...are you really...?” I let my gaze wander toward the stones. I couldn’t say the words. “If you’re really...” I winced. No, I really could not say the words. I could only nod in the direction of the stones.
“What are you doing here?” I repeated helplessly. I realized with horror that some part of me had actually begun to believe him...some very small part.
Darius dropped his eyes to the hands clasped in his lap.
“I don’t know, Molly.” He dragged in a ragged breath, his smile shaky. “I have little experience with this myself. In fact...none. I am not certain what has happened.” He shook his head and turned his palms up in an empty gesture.
“Can you...? Will you...um...disappear again?”
I crossed and re-crossed my legs anxiously. His gaze followed my movements, lingering on my legs before he looked away quickly. I looked down at my jean-clad legs for a moment, awaiting his answer.
“I do not know,” he shook his head. “I am not sure I want to disappear, as you say, for fear of losing you again. I would much rather stay with you.”
I heard those wonderfully poignant words of love again and had the same awful reaction. I jumped up and began to pace before him, my arms barricaded across my chest. Jumbled thoughts erupted into a barrage of chaotic sentences.
“Listen, buddy, I’m just barely hanging on here. I don’t really think I believe this...ghost thing you’re trying to hand me, Darius, so please don’t push it. You can’t stay with me. How would that work? I can’t stay here at the cemetery. Don’t tell me you’re going to follow me back to the hotel...back home, that is?” I stilled for a moment and buried my face in my hands. A high-pitched laugh forced its way from my constricted throat.
“Oh, my sister would love that. Someone following me home from a cemetery. Sara is going to love that!”
I watched him open his mouth and close it again. Hah! Well, that had certainly silenced him, hadn’t it? So, why did I want to throw myself in his arms and cry? I hugged myself even tighter and stared at him through narrowed eyes. He sagged and dropped his elbows to his knees as he lowered his head to run unsteady hands through his thick sandy brown hair. He looked defeated, and I hated that I had taken the sparkle from his eyes. But I had to know more.
“So? What do you do when you’re not...? Well, you know...hanging around in cemeteries?”
He rose quickly, and I jumped back.
He stiffened.
“Do not worry. For pity’s sake, Molly, I am not going to attack you.” He locked his hands behind his back and began his own pacing, long legs striding across the grass in front of the bench. I watched and held my breath.
“I do not know what is happening,” Darius began. “I do not know why I am here. The last thing I remember is coming up here to visit your—” He stopped abruptly and stared at me. “I do not know how I came to be here,” he said with a frown. “Nor do I understand why you seem to have no memory of me.”
I stomped my foot again in frustration.
“Because I’ve never met you before, that’s why!”
He shook his head as if to repudiate my words.
“If that is true, my dear, then, how did you know my name? Why did you return my kiss as you did? Surely, you do not suffer the embraces of strangers easily, do you? You remembered me, Molly! You remembered me.” He jabbed a thumb toward his chest.
My mouth dropped at his vehemence. Aware I was holding my breath again, I exhaled, and my rubbery legs gave out on me. I moved over to sink down onto the bench. Darius’s expression softened as he watched me. He lowered himself to the bench once again, taking the far opposite end, and folded his arms across his chest as he thrust his legs out in front with crossed ankles. Even in the midst of this chaos, I couldn’t help but admire the muscular tone of the impossibly long legs visible through the wool of his dark trousers.
I dragged my gaze to his face and tried to choose my words with care. I couldn’t bear to hurt his feelings, but it seemed I was capable of doing nothing else at the moment.
“I don’t know what that was about, I’m afraid, Darius. I felt like I knew you at that moment. That’s all I can say. I dreamt...” I bit my tongue. No, I would not tell him about my dream. We would end up with adjoining cells at the institution.
I shrugged. “I have no other explanation. But I don’t remember anything about you. How could I? I’ve never met you before.” I raised my hands in a helpless gesture.
“You have the same mannerisms, you know.” He smiled tenderly. His voice held that affectionate note that sent my heart racing.
“What?”
“Your hands. You used to do that often...raise your hands just so.” He nodded toward my upturned hands.
I dropped my hands and locked my fingers in my lap.
The sound of wheels on gravel caught my attention, and I turned toward the entrance. A large black sedan pulled past the cemetery arch and came to rest behind my car.
“Someone comes,” he murmured with the voice of one doomed. “The arrival of this large black conveyance does not bode well for me, I think.”
I caught my breath. Someone was here! A real live person was here! Sanity! Reality! Panic, never far away over the last hour, seemed to set in, and I didn’t know if I wanted to run to the new arrival or stay with the mesmerizing and enigmatic stranger beside me.
“I have to go, Darius. I-I think I have to go. Can they see you?” That I had to ask that question told me I had fallen under his paranormal spell.
Darius shrugged helplessly. “I do not know.” He gave me an unexpectedly playful look and grinned. “Shall we find out?” He made as if to rise.
“Don’t you dare!” I grabbed his arm and held him down. He looked down at my hand and covered it with his own. His hand felt warm, strong, sturdy, alive...Hardly ghostly material. There had to be another explanation for these strange events.
“No? Admit it, my girl. You want to know if they can see me as well, don’t you? You want to know if I am really a ghost.”
I pulled my hand out from under his and shook my head, wondering if allowing myself that hysterical shriek of laughter might just make me feel better. I
opted to choke down any such silliness and turned to stare at the car.
“They’re blocking my car. I can’t get out anyway.”
“Your car? Is that what you call it?” Darius tilted his head as he looked toward the parked vehicles. “I think there have been many new inventions.”
“Well, why don’t they get out of the car? What are they waiting for?” Even as I fussed, two silver-haired women slowly worked their way out of the large black vehicle. One maneuvered a walker on which she leaned heavily. The other ambled around the car to offer her a solicitous arm.
“What is this object she leans against?” Darius pointed to the women.
“It’s called a walker.” I sighed, feeling a bit guilty for my impatience with the women. “That explains why they had such a hard time getting out of the car.”
“And why does she use it? Is it some sort of enlarged cane?”
“I think she has probably had hip surgery and needs it for balance. My grandmother used one after her hip replacement.”
“Replacing hips,” Darius repeated in a thoughtful tone. He watched the women with interest, though they were some yards off in the distance.
“Have you seen them here before?” I asked.
Darius swung his head to look at me.
“I beg your pardon?” he asked with a frown.
I reared back as if stung. “I-I was just asking if you’d seen them here in the cemetery before. It’s not a big deal.”
“Woman! Do you think I have been lurking about in this cemetery for over a hundred years...prancing about on the stones and scaring the townspeople...on the hope that someday you would come?” He jumped up and turned away from me, settling one rigid hand on his hip and running the other impatiently across his jaw.
I watched him in stunned silence for a second before I stood briskly.
“Well, I was just asking. No need to get in a huff, Mister... What is your last name anyway?”
“Ferguson. Darius Ferguson.” He turned back to face me, the anger leaving his face.
A horrible thought struck me. What if...what if my dream had all the right characters, but the roles were reversed. What if...he hadn’t been visiting my tombstone? What if I was the one visiting his? I couldn’t make the name out, but what if it was Darius’s tombstone?