“Sounds fabulous,” I say. So long as Braden handles my personal security. Nights especially.
My dad nods appreciatively. “Sounds like you have a good plan worked out, Braden. I’m sure you’ll be a great help to Libby.”
It sounds like a stamp of approval, but my dad motions for Braden to join him. He takes several steps away from me. Braden—-with Celia being pulled along—follows him. He and my dad are facing away from me, so I can guess at what they’re saying. Celia does her best to pretend she isn’t listening, but her facial expressions give away her excitement about whatever it is they’re talking about. My irritation at being left out grows every second I’m left standing there. When they finally come back, all three of them look quite pleased. Do they share with me? No, of course not.
***
I’ve spent plenty of time since then wondering what Braden and my dad talked about that day. I even tried asking Celia, who can’t keep a secret about romance to save her life, and Braden, who can’t resist anything I ask him, but neither one has given in. It’s been a constant tickle in the back of my mind. The kind that is so small you almost don’t notice it, but as soon as you think about it you can’t stop. That’s kind of where I’m at right now. Where is Braden?
As if in answer to my question, a sharp blast of mist stops gracefully in front of me. When it clears, I’m shocked to see only Braden standing there. “What? Where’s Celia?” I ask.
“She thought we might want to spend time together with just the two of us.”
“But I thought …” My nose crinkles as I remember the other way to combine power through blood. That is beyond gross. I don’t point that out, though. It’s the first time we’ve been alone together in more than eight months. I’m not going to let Braden playing at being a vampire stop me from soaking up every minute of it. I close the last few feet between us and press myself against him. His arms fold around me instantly.
I can’t wait to be with him in the physical world. So much is lost coming here. There is no subtle hint of cologne, no scent of shampoo or soap, not even the lingering smell of sweat from one of his workouts. His form is all that comes with him into the spirit world. But, at least I have that much. My hands run down the contours of his back muscles, coming to a rest right above his hips. The temptation to let them slide down a little further is almost irresistible. Braden kisses my forehead softly in return.
“Everyone is getting in place for tomorrow. Lance has …”
“Can we not talk about tomorrow?” I ask. “Alex already gave me the rundown, and I really just don’t want to think about it for a while.”
He smiles and kisses me on the lips this time. “Of course. Can I at least wish you an early happy birthday?”
“That, you most definitely can do. It’s probably the only one I’ll get.”
Pulling me over to edge of the gateway, Braden sits and gestures for me to join him. I fold myself onto his lap and lay my head against his shoulder. Body heat is another one of the things that doesn’t translate to the spirit world, but I still warm to his touch regardless. Peace envelopes me, something only he has ever been able to give me. I sink against him even more and relish the feeling. It can only last so long with what we’re about to face.
“Libby,” Braden says quietly, “do you still want to know what your father and I talked about the first day I met him?”
I turn and look up at him. “Yes, of course.”
“He asked me what I intended to do with you … with our relationship. He wanted to know where it was going and how serious I was about you.” Nervous energy ripples across my skin from him.
“What did you tell him?” I ask slowly.
Rather than answering me, Braden gently takes me off his lap and sets me down across from him. Facing me, now, Braden says, “Do you know what the worse part of the spirit world is?”
It takes me a minute to process what he said. Weren’t we talking about something else?
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask.
“The worst part of the spirit world is that you can’t bring anything with when you come here.”
“Okay …”
“I have your birthday present in my pocket back in the physical world,” Braden says. “I really wish I could have brought it here with me, because I think you’ll like it.”
“Does this have anything to do with …?”
He smiles. “With what I talked to your dad about?”
I nod.
“It has everything to do with it,” he says, waiting for his clues to sink in.
I’ve had a long day, and my brain isn’t functioning as quickly as it should. The gift is small enough to fit in his pocket. He thinks I’ll like it. It has something to do with my dad asking Braden about our relationship. Clarity starts to seep into my mind. My breathing slows, and I can feel the anxiety and fear I’ve been carrying around literally slither off my body. While I was thinking, my eyes had dropped down. They come back up to stare at Braden in rapt amazement. I can’t even speak.
Braden takes my hands in his and captures every inch of me in his gaze. “What I told your father that day was that I loved you more than my own life. Nothing could ever keep me from staying by your side. I told your dad that I had every intention of marrying you as soon as we crush the Guardians.”
It’s what I guessed, but I still gasp as he utters the actual words. A tingling hum builds in my chest, threatening to explode and send me bouncing up and down like a jackhammer. Braden’s eyes are bursting with the same desire, his lips fighting not to break into a grin.
“Your dad told me I had to wait until you turned eighteen,” he says, glancing at the gateway, “but I hope he won’t mind that I’m a day early. I couldn’t wait any longer. I couldn’t let you walk up to Howe tomorrow not knowing that I would be behind you, waiting to carrying you off to eternity right after.”
Tears are pouring down my cheeks by now. I can barely form words, but I manage to get out a few. “Braden, I never doubted you would be there for me. Never.”
“Well, as soon as possible, I want everyone else in the world to know, too,” Braden says. He shifts, kneeling in front of me. There’s no ring to present to me, so he brings both of my hands to his lips. His kiss is light and delicious, so much so that I don’t even notice he’s slipped my bracelet off my wrist until he starts wrapping it around my ring finger. His eyes never leave mine. “Libby, will you marry me?”
I’m crying and laughing at the same time, but I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him with everything bursting to get out of me. When I finally pull back, I laugh at his startled expression. “Yes! Braden, of course I’ll marry you. I love you so much!”
He can’t possibly have doubted what my answer would be, but a huge wave of relief roles off of him. Now it’s him pulling me into a kiss. Our bodies mesh together. My fingers lock behind Braden’s neck and beg him to never let go. Rolling quickly, Braden is suddenly hovering above me. His lips brush against mine so very lightly. They move along my jaw to my neck. I turn my head, giving him better access, and shiver as he delves down the curves of my body to my shoulder. He pushes back the loose fabric of my shirt as he goes.
I tighten my hold on him. His body presses against me. Bringing his lips back to mine, Braden kisses me once, twice, and then simply caresses my cheek. His infallible love seeps into my skin and fills me. I don’t even try to contain my own colossal love for him. It spills out of me and covers Braden. Brimming with our devotion, neither of us can move or speak. We hold each other in the beauty of the moment. Worry and concern has no leverage on us. Only the pristine possibilities are allowed to filter through. Marrying Braden, finding a house of our own that is not borrowed or used as a base of operations, children we might one day have, each possibility shines around us. Perfection. It’s the only word I can think of to describe this precious moment.
Slowly, Braden rolls to his side and pulls me against his chest. “I love you so much,” he says quietly.
> “I love you, too.”
Comfortable silence fills the empty space around us. “Are you scared for tomorrow?” he asks eventually.
“Yes,” I admit, “but not because I’m worried about the outcome. I’m afraid of how many people might die to get there.”
“You’re not scared of how things might go?”
“Are you?” I ask.
“I have every faith in you, Libby, you know that, but to be honest, it scares me that we never figured out how to give my talents back,” Braden says honestly.
I settle against Braden’s chest nervously. “Yeah, about that …”
“What?”
“How much do you really trust me, Braden?”
Braden looks at me with his face scrunched in confusion. “What do you mean? You know I trust you completely.”
“Do you trust me with your life?” I ask.
“Of course,” he says without hesitation.
I want to tell him everything. It’s not that I trust him any less than he trusts me, but I know better than anyone that there are ways to get secrets out of people aside from simply asking. Braden doesn’t even have the protection of a Guardian promise to fall back on anymore. If anyone found out, it would mean Braden’s death, my failure, and freedom for the Dorotabos to destroy the world on the Guardian’s whim.
Braden draws me tightly against his chest and strokes my hair softly. “Libby, what is it?”
“I need to ask you to do something for me tomorrow,” I say.
“Then ask.”
Cupping his face in my hands, I say, “It’s dangerous, Braden.”
“But you need me to do it,” he says firmly. “Whatever the risks, I know you would never put me in harm’s way unless you had no other choice.”
He’s right. There is no other choice. Either he does what I’m about to ask him, or the whole world falls to pieces under Guardian rule and Dorotabos attack. I’ve tried to for months to figure some way out of involving Braden, but there is just no other option.
“If I’m not fast enough, or good enough, you could die, Braden.” My voice is a whisper barely heard.
“I trust you,” Braden says again. “Tell me what you need me to do.”
I take a deep breath and swallow my mounting fear. This is going to work. It’s the only way it can. “Tomorrow, you have to give yourself up to President Howe.”
Chapter 34
Alive
I know a lot about pain. It is an old friend of mine. But as I lie writhing on the bed in my cell, it feels like I am discovering it for the first time. Pure liquid agony flares through my body. My lungs feel like they are about to burst, because I hurt too much to even breathe. Tears sizzle down my cheeks as I pray for the pain to end. I want Braden. More than anything else I could wish for right now, I want his arms around me, his voice whispering in my ear that the pain will end and everything will be all right. One final burst of torture rips through me like a blade, and then suddenly I can feel him for the first time in more than a year.
New tears ripple down my cheeks as I force my body and mind to be still. I can feel him. I can feel Braden pulsing in the deepest part of my soul. It’s faint and tenuous, but I revel in the sensation. The hint of pain still lingering in my body goes unnoticed. All I can feel is the subtle thrum of Braden’s life force mixing with mine. It seems to make promises to me that I will see him again, that I will live long enough to at least touch him one more time.
My body sinks into the bed in relief. My eyes close, not to sleep, but to pretend I am drugged out of my mind like I’m supposed to be. I knew to expect the pain, but it still caught me off guard and nearly incapacitated me. If I hadn’t been lying down in preparation, the fall to the concrete floor would have given me a few new bruises. They would have matched all the others. I wasn’t nearly as concerned about avoiding bruises as I was about Milo possibly showing up early. I was terrified he would come to my cell before it was time.
Thankfully, he didn’t. Milo still believes he’ll live through today. I think he knows President Howe plans to kill him as soon as I’m out of the way, but he’s arrogant enough to believe he can beat him. And millions of Guardians. And thousands of Dorotabos. Yeah. He’s totally delusional.
Although, I’m not sure what it says about me that I think I can do the same thing. I’m not alone, though. My army of Ciphers and renegades are strategically positioned around the Great Lawn of the White House, ready to identify the Spiritualists tied to the Dorotabos, take out Guardians, and generally cause a lot of chaos and destruction. Not to mention, I have one more secret nobody else knows about. Well, nobody who’s still alive.
My body finally calms completely. I lend all my focus to pretending I’m unconscious, and to feeling my link with Braden. It trembles slightly. Not cringing is very, very hard. I can’t move, though. It’s getting close to time for Milo to come get me. If he sees me stirring, he’ll know I’ve been playing him for a fool. The link shudders again, but I stay completely still. I had hoped I would be able to feel more than just whether or not he was alive, but I hadn’t been sure. At least one thing has gone my way so far. That is so unusual, I decide to take it as a good sign. The brief moment of satisfaction falters as I remind myself of why the link is behaving the way it is.
Braden is about to be captured.
I can’t help flinching at that thought. I asked him to do this. Well, I asked him to give himself up to Howe. Braden isn’t usually a very prideful or glory-hungry kind of person, but he refused to give himself up. He insisted, very pointedly, that if he was going to have to be taken by the Guardians, he wasn’t going to go without a fight. I tried to tell him what a stupid idea that was, how he might get himself hurt or killed, but he laughed at me. Apparently, with all the training he’s done with the Ciphers since I was taken, he thinks he’s just as capable as any person with talents.
The last night we were together was the only time I got to see him use his Capoeira skills, but he was amazing. I’ve heard stories since then about what he can still do. He took down Dean in two different Capoeira matches over the summer, and has even managed to beat Lance once. I didn’t tell Braden, because I didn’t want to put a dent in his ego, but after we confirmed we were still Companions, even though his talents were gone, I felt sure at least some of his abilities still relied on my talents. Without any talents of his own, there are only his own natural abilities to enhance. He was strong and fast before his Inquest, so adding even a tiny bit of my own monstrous talents to his natural skills makes him very dangerous.
Still, I wasn’t totally convinced. Which is why I gave him a specific time to launch Operation Get Captured. I wanted to be able to feel what was going on. I keep my body immobile, but I shudder inwardly every time I feel a spark of pain through the link. It seems to last forever. Realizing I was holding my breath during the entire episode, I let the air out of my lungs slowly when the link quiets back down to a subtle feeling of satisfaction. I almost shake my head at him. He’s pleased with himself for getting captured.
It seems like an odd sentiment, but I get a little giddy thinking about it myself. I’ll see him soon. Very soon. It won’t be pretty, though. My mind starts running a marathon as I think about seeing Braden. I need to be ready, concentrated. I have to be fast, or Braden won’t live through us being brought back together. I’ve practiced so many times, but I know that’s not a guarantee. I tremble so slightly it wouldn’t be seen by anyone. Inside, I am shaking hard enough to knock my brain loose.
The sound of my cell door being unlocked an hour later nearly makes me jump. I fight my fear for control and win out, but only barely. A hand closes over my arm and pulls at me softly so I’m lying on my back. Milo eases my head up from the pillow and presses the glass of antidote to my lips. This is always the moment where I can almost believe he didn’t betray me, murder a Guardian right in front of my eyes, and let someone beat me to hell nearly every day for the last eight and a half months. His gentleness only lasts unti
l I let my eyes flutter open after the appropriate amount of time. Then he forces me up to sitting and backs away.
It makes me sigh to watch him step back. He’s not my friend anymore, but I could have killed him any time I wanted to. I chose not to. Why? I’m not sure. He deserves it for everything he’s done. But not only do I have a problem killing people just because I can, I also still have hope that Milo will see what an idiot he’s turned into and help me save the world.
The hesitation and fear in his expression doubles that hope.
“What time is it?” I ask.
“It’s almost time, Libby,” he says quietly.
I stare at him. “What time is it exactly?”
“Twelve-fifteen. You’ve got an hour.”
Perfect.
“I’ll take you out to Howe on the Great Lawn in about fifteen minutes. He’ll give you one more chance to do what he asks, and if you don’t, he’ll kill you at one-fifteen.”
One-fifteen, the hour and minute printed on my birth certificate as my exact time of birth. Howe will wait for my diktats to flare, the signal that my talents have been fully unlocked and I have truly become Cassia the Destroyer. Everyone in the world will be waiting for that one moment. Some with hope. Some with fear. I will be waiting with a completely different emotion.
“Have you reconsidered Howe’s offer?” Milo asks.
Yesterday, he was screaming at me in an effort to try and wring a few last drops of information about my plans out of me. Now his tone is more that of a worried friend. I don’t fall for it. My lips stay closed in perfect neutrality. Milo’s jaw tightens.
“You have a chance to stop this from happening,” he says.
This being Howe murdering me on national television. I don’t respond.
Darkening Chaos: Book Three of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 32