by Maren Smith
“Perfect.” Fun sounded better than interesting, which had been the way he’d described this weird dish with lots of spices and strange vegetables last month. I’d been good and started eating it, but he’d just laughed after taking one bite and ordered pizza.
Maybe fun meant he’d ordered pizza?
He usually preferred what he called real food over fast food, but since that was his one drawback, I could deal with it.
Especially since he didn’t complain about my cereal.
But as we headed into the kitchen, I stopped when I saw what was on the table… dinosaur nuggets and tater tots.
We definitely had to talk.
“I want to talk—”
“We need to talk—”
We stopped as we realized we were just speaking over one another. Glancing back and forth between the food and Gordon, I tried to keep a neutral expression. “I think I’ll let you go first.”
His smile said I hadn’t gotten the neutral part down pat.
Chapter Two
Gordon
“Deal.” Loren was so cute when he was skeptical and worried.
He’d gotten the same look when I’d made him try eggplant for the first time. For someone as smart as he was, he seemed to think any vegetables besides green beans and cucumbers were evil.
“Sit down.” Kissing his forehead, I put my hand on his back and steered him toward the table. He was still wearing the same look, but he didn’t argue. In fact, most of the time Loren liked it when I took the lead.
Like now.
His shoulders started to relax and he looked at the table again. “That’s a weird dinner. You know that, right?”
I chuckled. “You like chicken nuggets. That’s what you pick anytime we get fast food.”
“There’s a big difference between nuggets at McDonald’s and ones shaped like dinosaurs.” He was saying the words, but he didn’t sound convinced.
“Are you sure?” I kissed his head again as he sat down, looking curiously at his plate. “I don’t think there’s that much difference.”
Grabbing the sauces out of the fridge, I laid a small tray next to his plate that had everything from barbecue sauce to mayo before getting our drinks. He was the only guy I’d ever dated who liked milk with meals instead of soda or water.
He was still waiting patiently for me as I moved around the kitchen, but I could see his brain whirling. When I sat down, he finally glanced over at me. “So, you were going to tell me something?”
Nodding, I relaxed in my chair and did my best to make him see I wasn’t worried about anything. The worst-case scenario I’d been able to come up with that seemed probable had been that he’d think I was weird and would tell me no.
He might end up looking at me funny for a while, but the chances of him leaving me over it were so slim that I’d discounted the possibility very quickly.
“I want to explore age play with you.” I thought that was a reasonable start until he blinked at me.
I knew his current porn choices were very mainstream and he only watched it when I suggested it for fun, but I’d always assumed he’d gotten curious about the other stuff that was out there at some point. I was starting to think that was a poorly thought out assumption.
Had he really never fallen down a porn rabbit hole and accidentally ended up someplace interesting?
Hell, there were documentaries about it at this point.
“The look on your face says I should know what that is and ‘play’ implies some kind of game or role play, but I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Loren was looking at me curiously, but nothing said he was upset or judgmental.
“There’ve been some documentaries about it lately and there’s a lot about it on the internet. I’m sorry, I thought you’d run into it before.” Trying to stay relaxed, I shrugged and smiled. “It’s a type of role-playing where one partner pretends to be younger as a way to relax and to submit to the other partner who takes on the role as caregiver. In this case… a Daddy.”
Instead of saying anything, he reached for his glass of milk and took a drink. He was so lost in thought he didn’t even think about grabbing a napkin, so he had the faintest of milk mustaches as he set the glass down.
If he agreed to explore it, I was going to buy him a cute place setting that came with a plastic cup instead of the glass. But that seemed to be too much considering we hadn’t discussed it at all.
As I watched him process my request, I kept my face pleasantly blank, refusing to smile or give him anything to worry about. He was just so cute when he was thinking, and I knew deep inside that this would be perfect for him… for us.
He was incredibly smart and a complete kid at heart. He could’ve done anything with his love of computers and graphics, but he’d gone into children’s video games. He loved toys and anything cute, and last month he’d even argued with a waiter when the guy wouldn’t let him order off the kids’ menu because he’d wanted macaroni and cheese.
Even the mild BDSM play that was sometimes associated with age play was perfect for him. He’d never brought up exploring anything like that specifically, but he liked it when I got dominant in the bedroom and his body lit up when I found a reason to spank him as I took him.
“This isn’t a game or some kind of joke?” He kept his steady gaze on me. “You don’t normally tease about this kind of thing, and it’s not April Fools’, but you’ve been leaving stuff around the house, and I just don’t know…”
I was trying not to frown, but it was difficult. It was a legitimate question, and I wasn’t going to make him think that asking me anything would get a negative response. “No, I would never tease about something like this. I know it might sound unexpected, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I wanted to talk to you.”
He nodded, but it seemed to be an automatic response, so I didn’t take it to mean anything. “You’ve never been frustrated by the… by some of the stuff I like, but this… do you think I’m too young?”
This was not the way I’d hoped the conversation would go.
“No, it has nothing to do with real ages, and honestly, I’ve never seen our age difference as important. We’ve always gotten along great and you’re incredibly smart.” Then I winked. “And it’s hot. When I’m an old fart, you’re going to look fabulous on my arm.”
A faint grin broke out and he rolled his eyes, some of the tension in him fading. “Then what is this about?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, trying to figure out how to word it. “I like taking care of you. I like the small amount of domination and submission we’ve played with in bed. And I think you’d have fun being able to relax and not have to think about being a grown-up for a while.”
“What are you picturing?” It wasn’t a negative reaction, but he wiggled and looked down at his plate, so I took that as a clue to shift things a bit.
“Why don’t we start eating? I don’t want your food to get cold.” I pointed to the cut-up matchstick carrots and celery. “And if you eat your vegetables, I’ve got a surprise.”
His eyes lit up and he started to nod, but then he stopped. “Wait. That’s it, right? It’s something you’d already say, but that’s what you mean, right?”
“Yes. Something like that. I already push you to do things that you need to, like eating vegetables and getting enough sleep, but if I was Daddy sometimes and not just your boyfriend, then I’d make it a rule.” As I’d started looking at our relationship, I’d realized I was already doing a lot that seemed like something a Daddy would do. We’d just never labeled it like that.
Loren’s cheeks pinked faintly as he picked up a nugget and started dipping it in several sauces. “I like it when you take care of me and, you know… focus on me.”
Because his parents had been assholes and he’d never been the center of anyone’s attention until we’d met. From everything he’d described growing up and the little I’d seen of his family, they’d pushed his education and his brain, bu
t hadn’t thought hugs or attention were necessary.
By the time we’d met, he’d been going from hookup to hookup trying to fill that need. He’d never seen it that way, but there’d just been something sweet and needy about him that had made it impossible to walk away.
“I love you.” I reached over and caressed his cheek. “But yeah, it goes beyond that. I like making you happy and doing little things to take care of you. It’s a part of our relationship that’s special to me.”
Loren gave me an embarrassed nod, but I could see a smile peeking out. “Me too.”
“If we had times where you were Little and I was Daddy then we’d do similar things, but we’d just take it further. You could relax and I’d make all the decisions and would take care of you.” I smiled as he shoved the shaped nugget into his mouth.
The more I thought about the past and his work and the things that he loved the most, the more I was certain he’d already found his Little side. He’d just never labeled it and he’d rarely shared it. I wasn’t sure if it was merely a habit or because on some level he knew most people wouldn’t understand, but the person who could sit for hours going through an ABC video game to figure out how to make it better was not the twenty-eight-year-old man who I’d first met on a hookup app.
No, that sweet guy was more Little than he realized.
Especially when he was shoveling handfuls of marshmallow cereal between rounds of matching letters.
As he took another bite of chicken nugget, carefully biting off the dinosaur’s head, he shrugged. “You like making the decisions.”
And that was an understatement if I’d ever heard one.
Over the years, I’d been in relationships that were more traditional and some that were based around BDSM in some way. I’d never defined myself as a Dom or anything like that, but I’d played around with power exchanges at different points in my life. But Loren had never seemed to be interested in anything beyond some fun, rough sex occasionally.
Well, he hadn’t been interested in any of the things I’d always associated with BDSM.
“Yes, it can sometimes be a character flaw, but I like taking charge and doing things for you.” But where that had frustrated people in the past, it had been one of the things that had drawn Loren to me.
I was pretty sure it was that need for care and attention that had shifted our relationship from the occasional meetup to actual dating.
He grinned as he started to dunk the other half of his nugget in barbecue sauce. “I like that about you. Someone at work said it’s because you let me be selfish, but I don’t care.”
I laughed but shook my head. “They just don’t understand. It’s only selfish if I’m not getting anything out of it. With us, we’re both getting what we need out of it, so it’s not the same thing.”
He gave me a beaming smile. “You’re just saying that because you’re so nice and you’re taking care of me so I don’t feel guilty. See? Still taking care of me.”
Chuckling, I shrugged. “Maybe, but you’ll never really know, so you’re just going to have to let me keep taking care of you.”
He was sweet as he smiled, but I grimaced as he shoved the oversaturated nugget into his mouth. “I didn’t mean for you to put every sauce on each nugget. You know that, right?”
Watching him eat with everything from mayo to ketchup on his nuggets was going to make me sick.
He giggled, not seeming to realize how cute the sound was, before torturing another nugget. “It’s good.”
“I’m just glad you're enjoying it.” And I was glad to see he wasn’t overthinking the age play topic. I knew the way he worked. He’d take some space and then at some point it would randomly pop up after he’d gone over it a thousand times in his head.
But I had the patience in this relationship, so I wasn’t worried.
It would also give me time to keep showing him how much fun it could be to be Little, like chicken nugget dinners and cartoons.
Oh, he’d call it research or would try to explain why anime wasn’t just for kids, but I’d lost count of the number of nights I’d gotten dragged into watching shows about kids going on adventures and saving the world in battle tournaments.
It was so often I was starting to have opinions on who should win the ridiculous matches.
“They’re good.” The innocent statement was accompanied by him shoving another chicken nugget in his mouth.
Yep, the way to his Little side was going to be through his stomach.
I already had his heart, so I wasn’t going to worry about that. I’d gotten it by taking good care of the cutest hookup I’d ever met.
When he switched over to the tater tots, I thought I’d be saved more visual torture, but I was wrong. They got just as much sauce as the nuggets, if not more. By the time dinner was finished, he had ketchup on his nose and had somehow ended up with mayo in his hair.
It was impressive.
Of course, when he started looking around for a napkin, he couldn’t find one. As he began to get up and head over to the sink, I shook my head. “Let me.”
I got another curious look and I knew he was going over what we’d said about the age play, but he nodded and waited. I wasn’t sure if I could count it as a win or just as research, but I refused to overthink it.
I was going to let him experience being Little-ish in different ways and just see what he thought. It was going to end up like the eggplant parmesan I’d made. He’d poke at it. He’d study it while trying to look sweet. Then he’d finally try it and actually tell me what he thought of it.
I knew my boy.
He was going to love it… he just had to give it a try first.
Rising, I went over to the counter and grabbed a box of baby wipes. Loren’s eyes widened as I walked back, but he didn’t say anything so I continued. If Loren was good at anything, it was getting his opinion across, so I didn’t question myself as I sat down beside him and pulled out a wipe.
His eyes followed my every movement, but he couldn’t help smiling as I wiped the goop out of his hair, shaking my head. “I just don’t know how you do it.”
Shrugging, he seemed to relax. “I’m just special.”
Chuckling, I nodded. “I would have to agree on that.”
I wiped his nose, then kissed it. “Very special.”
As a faint blush crept up his cheeks, I wiped his face then grabbed a new one and cleaned off his hands. When he was as clean as I could get him, I kissed his nose again and stood to start taking the dishes over to the sink. He looked around, slightly confused. “Can I help?”
Loren usually cleaned up since I did most of the cooking. But that was going to change on nights he was Little. “Not tonight, I’ll do it.”
His eyes danced back and forth between me and the dishes. “Because little boys don’t do things like that.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
He didn’t respond to that, but he did smile shyly. “I liked it when you cleaned me up. It was… nice.”
“Thank you for telling me that.” I leaned over and kissed his head. “It means a lot to me that you’re going to think about this.”
He finally gave me a wide, teasing grin. “How do you know I’m going to think about it?”
I returned his smile. “Because you, my mischievous love, won’t be able to resist a game where I give you all kinds of attention and yummy food.”
“I ate my vegetables.” He was so excited and earnest that I gave him another kiss.
I wasn’t sure eating carrots with mayo on them counted as vegetables anymore, but I nodded. “How do cupcakes and anime sound?”
He laughed quietly. “Like you know just how to bribe me.”
I kissed him tenderly and winked. “It’s not a bribe. I’m just giving my boy what he wants.”
I had a feeling it was going to be an interesting few days.
Chapter Three
Loren
I started to reach for the bowl again. However, even though there were s
till Froot Loops in it, I had a feeling I’d probably had enough… but I took another handful anyway.
Remembering lunch on days I worked from home wasn’t always easy, but I’d filled up a bowl with cereal earlier when I’d realized it was already after three, and I hadn’t taken a break.
Wait.
When had it gotten to be five?
I could’ve kept going for a few more hours, but not keeping a reasonable schedule was one of Gordon’s pet peeves. It’d been one of the hardest things about living together. I’d been so used to working whenever it caught my attention that I hadn’t realized he would feel neglected if I did it every evening. But we’d figured it out.
Communication.
He’d sat me down and had explained how my constant work made him feel, and we’d both made some compromises. From that point on, I had to stop work somewhere between five and six, and on the weekends, I could put in a few hours if I needed to or if I really wanted to and he wouldn’t be upset.
He’d done wonders for my work-life balance, but my manager had joked that she’d liked it better when I was single. She’d just been teasing, but it was clear to her how happy Gordon made me.
Looking at the computer, I knew if I didn’t take this point to stop, I’d end up regretting it. Closing everything down, I stood up and stretched before I started putting everything away. For some reason when I was working at home my office ended up a mess.
It was like gremlins lived in my home office.
I didn’t have the same problem at work, but I tended to do more of the creative side of things here, so that probably had something to do with it. Gordon said it was because my office here had crazy amounts of toys and stuffies, but I liked the atmosphere.
It was important to the creative process.
Picking up the dragon who was the lead character in a series of counting games off the floor, I couldn’t help but look around. Sitting, I crossed my legs and studied the room. What did my office say about me?
It was colorful. It’d been a guest room when I’d first moved in and Gordon had spent an entire weekend turning it into the perfect space for me. He’d painted it a bright yellow and had even put a shelf around the room about three-quarters of the way up the wall where my stuffies and awards from work went.